University of Virginia Library

Search this document 
Chalcographimania

or, the Portrait-Collector and Printseller's Chronicle, with Infatuations of euery Description. A humorous poem in four books. With copious notes explanatory. By Satiricus Sculptor [i.e. S. W. H. Ireland]
  
  
  
  

collapse section 
collapse section 
Chalcographimania.
 1. 
collapse section2. 
  
collapse section3. 
  
collapse section4. 
  
  
  
  
  
  


1

Chalcographimania.

BOOK THE FIRST.


3

Tribus Anticyris caput insanabile. Horace.

Collector's head I will ensure,
Three Anticyræ would not cure.

Ere print collecting first broke out,
Your Cits knew what they were about,
Behind the counter standing smug,
As in a blanket's stow'd a bug,
They thought not then of Hollars, Passes,
Or Faithornes ; no such silly asses,

4

But stuck to Cocker's rule of yore,
Which states that two and two make four,
Whereby they well solv'd mundane itches,
By filling pockets of their breeches.
And never knew what 'twas to hear
The glib tongue of an Auctioneer,
Who now-a-days in fibbing mood
Of gallows makes an hanging wood;
And paints a stagnant ditch to be,
Fine stream of limpid purity;

5

In short vows ev'ry thing uncouth,
Till Going:—Gone:—knocks down Untruth ;

6

For of all Tradesmen none's so glib,
As Auctioneer at telling fib.
Yet why thus from my theme digress,
In proper place I shall lay stress
On Pulpit Monarchs:—therefore now,
'Fore hero of my tale I bow,
With Chalcographians wond'rous dasher,
In time of yore dubb'd, Haberdasher ;
Yclepp'd in prints an Astrologus,
And nam'd sage Mister Catalogus;

7

When Cit he well knew how to wheedle,
O'er thread, tape, bobbin, silk, and needle,
Could sport with dame a joke, to win
Her custom, on a corking pin;
And with true puritanic face,
Avouch'd his buttons good and lace;
From which such profits were acquir'd,
As gain'd all comforts he desir'd;
And made him thus turn staunch projector,
Of Chalcography grand Collector;
Whereby his thoughts, like modern Plato,
Of each Lot rare teem'd with the fate O!
Enamour'd thus my Knight became,
And cherish'd print-collecting fame .

8

One eve—portentous was the day,
While soaking with a friend his clay,
Behind the door hung hock of bacon,
Whereof that noon he had partaken;
Which was in glass reflected seen,
That o'er the chimney hung I ween,
When Catalogus glowing hot,
And seizing, fancy-fir'd, the pot,
Exclaim'd without a word of stricture,
“My friend, my friend, Oh! there's a picture ;

9

“A work like this I'd money stake on,
“And everlasting gorge on bacon:”
Mine host who dealt in butter, cheese,
And eggs, then lolling at his ease,
Exclaim'd—“For cart-load as I live,
“Of picture trash I would not give,
“To hang each chamber's walls around,
“Of Single Gloucester cheese a pound.
“If I for flesh of hog feel itch,
“I've always ready well-cur'd flitch,
“Or ven I flesh and blood wou'd see,
“There's vife, and daughter Margery:
“And as for paintings of green fields,
“With streams and all the country yields,
“To my mind picture ne'er excels,
“Sweet Islington and Bagnigge Wells.”

10

A slur thus thrown upon the art,
Thrill'd Catalogus to the heart;
Who thus held converse with himself:—
“Shall I with purse o'erstock'd with pelf ,
“And instinct of the higher class,
“Herd still with such an arrant ass?
“Forbid it bobbin, tape, and lace,
“I'll quit the city, drudging place;
“And henceforth bid such dolts defiance,
“Leaguing with Auctioneers and Science.”
With mind thus fir'd, the just reflector
Of bold Achilles fam'd or Hector,
Our bobbin knight friend Blue-mould quits,
Resolv'd to bid adieu to cits:
So strait to Haberdasher blade,
Good-will is sold and stock in trade;

11

When fraught with no one germ of pity,
Great Catalogus leaves the city;
And to regale with Sales his heart,
Takes lodgings near the Picture Mart,
That he Don Quixote-like—may glance,
And tilt at every lot—the lance;
Since bacon-hock had left a stamp,
No earthly pow'r could ever damp.
Thus Champion Catalogus see,
'Scap'd bonds of Haberdashery;
Fraught with a soul that might stand stilt on,
And war with Shakspeare wage, or Milton;
Whose brain for grand pictorial flow,
Might Raphael daunt—or Angelo.
For whoso dares look half so big
As he who wisdom gleans from Pig?
But now his person to describe—
He was in troth of dumpling tribe;

12

'Neath jazy white as fat of mutton,
Was circle seen like mould of button;
Wherein were set two sharp black eyes,
With grunters' vying for the prize;
Which o'er the cheeks of pimply red,
Shone knobs of jet on coral bed;
While features spoke conception dense;
Replete with all—save common-sense:
The stomach like the face was round,
True type of Aldermanic mound,
His thighs were short; each leg was thin,
And club-foot base to either pin.
As for his garb, cock'd hat he wore,
Like beaver gilt o'er hatter's door ;

13

The coat was blue, of full dimension,
His vest of silk brac'd stomach's tension:
For brigs he wore choice glossy satin
Whose breech had well ta'en Whitbread's vat in,
While mottled worsted cloth'd each leg,
That look'd in Hessian boot a peg;
Nor treat friend reader with disdain,
Though mention'd last—gold-headed cane;
Which ranks with Doctor of Degree,
The half procurement of his fee,
Since sconce with him is oft as thick
And brainless as companion stick:
Wherefore with Esculapian bane,
'Tis head 'gainst stick, and stick 'gainst brain.
Arm'd cap-a-pee thus view my Knight,
On Hobby dare the Auction fight,

14

With gold he vows the palm to win
By bidding bold, through thick and thin;
A name, a name, he must ensure,
And burns to rank Great Connoisseur .
Not Alexander, Cæsar, Boney,
Ambition holds so much a crony;
As Catalogus sought to view,
His name enroll'd with prime Vertu.
“Ah!” would he cry;—“could I but boast,
“A Musgrave's fame, though now a ghost,
“Was I not as I am, a stranger
“To deep intricacies of Granger,

15

“But Caulfield-like who claims oblation,
“Was vers'd in godlike Illustration,
“Of Burnet, Clarendon, and Pennant ,
“Then Wisdom's mansion I should tenant;
“And claim perhaps the envied thanks,
“Of thrice renown'd Sir Joseph Banks.

16

“O! for a J---ff---ys' potent brain,
“The sound profundity of Th---ne,
“A R---ch---ds---n's immortal glow,
“Capacious scull of M---lt---no;
“Or that I had the mazes trod,
“Of sly C---ln---ghi, or great D---dd;
“With Gr---v---s in cunning could keep pace,
“And vie with S---m---co, Smith , or St---ce;
“Knew like a N---ch---ls , print and book,
“Or had the keenness of Tr---ph---k ,

17

“Of N---rf---k's B---t claim'd the skill,
“That gave poor St---w---rt bitter pill;

18

“Or rank'd with D---rd---s cutting blade,
“That rarely trounc'd bookselling trade.

19

“Nor less renown'd among the Quorum,
“Well vers'd in costume—T---mmy C---r---m.
“Come and illume me J---cky Sc---tt;
“Who cross'd the Tweed not worth a jot:
“With scarce a kelt to shield poor breech,
“Well arm'd with arrogance and itch.

20

“And come of Scotia's race, another
B---kb---nd---g Bill, the former's brother;
“Their glowing feats, O! let me sing,
“That make the Auction chambers ring.
“Since more or less they both extend,
“To me their aid, and prove the friend:”
Thus Catalogus sagely spoke,
Burning to burst the pond'rous yoke
Of Ignorance, that bound his brain,
In dull Bœotia's leaden chain:—
With inspiration fraught, he hies,
And volumes four of Granger buys;
Granger—whose biographic page,
Hath prov'd for years so much the rage;

21

That scarce one book its portrait graces,
Torn out alas! each author's face is .
My Hero reads, and thinks, and reads,
As future Chalcographian deeds
His brain with mad'ning frenzy fire;
“For prints;” he cries, “I burn, expire!
“Ah give me portraits good or bad,
“To physic fancy running mad;
“Impressions bright, or if rariss.
“Impressions dull wont come amiss ;

22

“Nor be forgot choice wooden cut,
“Of Skelton or the Cut-purse slut ;
“Cost what they may, I must possess 'em,
“They are my idols, good heav'n bless 'em .”

23

Great Granger read huge Bromley's text :
True Cataloguing lore came next;
Whose page renown'd was read sans ceasing,
Fell cacoethes thus increasing:
In due succession Strutt was bought ,
With sacred Chalcography fraught;
From Finiguerra's graven brass
(Which W---db---rn vowed naught could surpass ,

24

And D---bd---n great Typographist,
Who on this subject did insist;

25

Whereas the burthen of his song,
In lieu of Right throughout was Wrong :)

26

E'en to engravers doom'd by fate
To send forth prints of recent date:

27

One liking will another hatch
Itching augments—the more you scratch:
Thus Pilkington on painters came ,
Increasing bright pictorial flame;

28

And Orford too his mind acquainting,
With Anecdotes of British Painting ,
Whilst of Engravers volume shrew'd,
The soul of knight still more imbu'd;

29

With ardour to attain the goal,
And stamp true Mania on his soul.
He had fierce ague of the wits,
Assail'd by cold or burning fits;
By day warm fancy all-creative,
On nothing ran but illustrative;
By night his genius on the spin,
In dreams brought Strutt and specimen;
In fine, hot brain cou'd ne'er pass stricture,
On aught save portrait, plate or picture.
Thus having plainly shown to sight,
Foundation of mine hero's flight,

30

The noble furor of his mind,
To turn Collector most refin'd;
Enrolling name with Syk---s renown'd
Who for old head paid seventy pound ;
Or Bl---ndf---rd's M---rq---s whose bright glow
Spent thousands on Boccaccio :

31

Or Sp---nc---r's Earl who fought red hot,
With M---rq---s for the self-same lot;
Or B---ll to Granger firmly knit ,
With daughter decking holy writ :

32

Or N---rf---k's Duke who plays bo-peep,
With tradesman herding to buy cheap ;

33

Or M---rq---s B---th, well-known to fame;
And mother boasting mutual flame ;

34

Or B---te possess'd of Hogarth knowledge ;
M---l---ne renown'd at D---lw---ch College ;

35

Great Editor, whose leaden mace ,
With pedant K---mb---e just keeps pace,
Whose aitches and perverted room
Shall stamp him A---s till day of doom .

36

These form a list with more to gloss it,
Not passing o'er the book-worm G---ss---t :
For slaves of Bibliomanian spell,
Deserve my plaudits just as well;
As famous Chalcographian crew,
Whose feats are noted thus to view.

37

With sages such as these to rank
His name, till then a simple blank:
Was now my hero's sole design,
Who dubb'd Collectors all divine:
With smatt'ring thus from books secur'd,
At sales he 'longs to be enur'd;
So Auctioneer for pocket's prog,
Sends Catalogus—Catalogue.
With pride he wields the same in air,
The hour of sale his only care;
Nor did our Wellington e'en quaff
Delight so great with Jourdan's staff;
It was to him a trophy great,
Memorial of his envied state;

38

In being thus to Auction courted,
An honour scarce to be supported:—
In state like this he struts along,
Unmindful of the passing throng;
With innate pride his feelings burn,
Cane—Catalogue he waves in turn;
And takes his place as proud as Nero ,
Beside the chair of Hammer-hero:
Thus far the Muse her tale hath told,
And Catalogus fame enroll'd;
She now awhile for breath must pause,
In expectation of applause:—
Her second flight with care shall trace,
The witching pathos—winning grace—
Of each grand flourisher of hammer,
Who tells with brazen front—a crammer:

39

I would speak plainer by the bye;
If 'twere not vulgar to write—lie:
Thus Catalogus thron'd in state,
I leave to Auctioneers and Fate;
To better hands I can't consign him,
So for the present—I resign him.
END OF BOOK THE FIRST.
 

The personages above-mentioned were very celebrated handlers of the burin. Of the Passes who were Hollanders, there was a family, consisting of Simon, Crispin, William, and Magdalena, all of whom were engravers, and flourished during the reign of James the First. Hollar, whose industry was almost without a parallel, lived during the reigns of Charles the First and Second, while Faithorne displayed his matchless glossy stroke during the period of the Commonwealth. The major part of the productions of these respective artists are very rare, and produce high prices.

The late Mr. Chr---st---e was most renowned for the fluency of his tongue, a convincing proof of which the above instance will fully make manifest, the facts being as follow: Mr. C--- had a dwelling to dispose of, situated at some distance from Town, which was any thing but picturesque, as a gibbet was in view, while a miserable ditch skirted the garden. In the course of his flourishing description, he literally denominated the former a beautiful Hanging Wood, while the latter was transmogrified into a fine meandring stream of water, which, together with many other flights of poetic prose, so completely worked upon the mind of a gentleman present, that without having visited the premises he became the purchaser. I leave to the reader to form an opinion of his astonishment on viewing the spot in question. The Auctioneer's rhetoric proved however of no effect, as the gentleman ultimately compelled Mr. C--- to resell the mansion, with all its concomitant beauties. Neither was this gentleman ever surpassed in the essential art of picture puffing: one instance of which I cannot help recording, having been present upon the occasion. A painting, possessing no one attribute that could entitle it to commendation, being put up, and no individual feeling a relish for the lot, our auctioneer, in order to palm it if possible upon the company, expressed himself in the following terms: “It wants nothing but a touch of the Promethean fire to start from the canvas and fall a-bidding.”

Whether any personal allusion be intended by selecting an individual of the above trade, the writer leaves the Chalcographimanians to discover.

Licet superbus ambules pecuniæ,
Fortuna non mutat genus.

That this circumstance did occur to a tradesman, the writer most solemnly declares, and that from the moment he beheld the reflected Hock of Bacon, he became a red-hot Collector; his first purchase being a most vile copy of Rubens' celebrated picture of the Tribute Money. This mania was ultimately attended with very disastrous consequences, as the individual alluded to was in the end reduced from a state of comparative affluence to absolute beggary.

Fortuna nimium quem fovet stultum facit.

Lest the reader should erroneously be led to infer that the head-covering in question is after the modern fashionable shape, it is but needful that I should place matters in a just point of view; therefore, I beg leave to acquaint him that the beaver of our Catalogus is framed after the fashion of those gilt gingerbread hats which are annually strung up at Bartholomew Fair.

Digito monstrari et dicier hic est.

The foundation of S---r W---ll---m M---sgr---v---'s collection was the purchase of the stores of Mr. Throsby, the historian of Leicester, which were procured for a very mediocre price; whereas at the sale of the M---sgr---ve effects by R---ch---rds---n, they produced the most enormous sums.

This personage, concerning whom more will be said in the progress of the poem, is very justly esteemed one of the best judges of old portraits now living.

As it is more that probable that this volume may fall into the hands of many individuals unconnected with Chalcographimanian pursuits, I think it necessary to state that the Mania has for many years existed among collectors of illustrating the four above-mentioned works with portraits and views; the volumes in question being either interleaved with folio paper, or else inlaid upon sheets of the largest atlas size, in order to admit decorative prints of all dimensions, without being compelled to double them.

Few persons connected with the printselling trade are more deserving approbation than Mr. T. Sm---th, whose assiduous research into every thing connected with the antiquities of our metropolis, justly entitle him to the applause of every Topographical Collector, independent of which, as the father, of a family, his conduct is deserving the warmest commendation.

This most respectable individual is allied to the niece of the late Ald---rm---n B---yd---ll, who is herself a great portrait collector; indeed, so universally is the integrity of Mr. N---ch---ls established among the trade, that in case any variance occurs in affairs connected with bookselling, both parties are usually satisfied by nominating Mr. N. as umpire, whose fiat is deemed at all times conclusive. Far different however was the conduct of another bookseller named N---c---ll, who has long since been a bankrupt, and was indebted for his first rise in the world to the following circumstance: S---r J---hn Ing---lby, of R---pl---y castle, who was residing in Switzerland at the period alluded to, had a very extensive and valuable library of the choices old literature, which the B---r---n---t's steward, not conceiving of any value, took upon himself without consulting his absent master, to dispose of to the last mentioned Mr. N. who, in exchange, furnished the library with modern works, to the no small discomfiture of S---r J---hn, who found upon his return to England that all the Black Letter Lore was non est inventus.

This bookseller had the good fortune to purchase, by mere chance, a unique tract from the press of Caxton, not mentioned by Ames, or any other typographist. The subject of this curious specimen was a Latin oration of the Duke of Burgundy of that æra, upon his investiture with the Order of the Garter. Mr. Tr---ph---k caused fac-similes of the type to be cast, and then had a few copies struck off, which he sold at good prices, after realizing a round sum by the original specimen.

The above man, whose butcher-like person is the precise type of his mental endowments, which rank upon a par with those of the b---e creation, was for a series of years the companion of and caterer for the D---ke of N---rf---lk, nor did his grace scruple to visit this dealer, when immured within the walls of the Fleet prison; there is however nothing very astonishing in this predilection, as he no less made a crony of the late St---n---y B---w---s, of Str---thm---re renown, who paraded the rules of the Bench for a series of years. This B---t procured a large sum of money from St---w---rt the auctioneer, upon a collection of works, which when disposed of did not net the sum advanced by several hundreds, notwithstanding which the creditor has in vain sought to recover the amount, B---t putting off payment by the litigious expedient of removing the action from court to court, so that it is more than probable the Auctioneer at length harassed out, will relinquish his claim altogether. To this circumstance we may subjoin another illustrative of this man's character. He had bargained for a book with Fl---y---r of the Strand, who possessed two copies of the work in question, one being in much finer condition than the other. B---t however, not choosing to give the sum required for the best, paid for the inferior copy, but on conveying his purchases to the hackney-coach, took especial care to carry the highest prized volume in lieu of that which be had actually paid for; nor could the bookseller ever procure the smallest remuneration.

This Irish Catholic collector, whose relationship to a late M---rch---ness, procured him for a period the countenance of the M---rq---s of B---ck---ngh---m, after trafficking in pl---s, editing the Or---cle newspaper, in conjunction with P---t---r St---w---rt, buying and selling books and prints, and lastly, flying paper kites, that is to say, carrying on a promissory note traffic, was at length compelled to retire from the gay scenes of the metropolis, and assume a false appellation, leaving his name upon the ledgers of numerous dealers, who, to the present hour, have just cause to regret their connection with this universal empiric, who saved his Bacon by sojourning at Ham.

The shameful practice of mutilating old books, which continued unabated for a series of years, has at length subsided, the generality of collectors being now just as eager to restore the heads to their mutilated works, as they were formerly eager to tear them from the volumes in question.

I cannot better evince the comparative value of prints, according to the state of the impressions than by instancing a small portrait of the Marchioness of Buckingham, of the period of James the First, engraved by Magdalena Passe, a common specimen of which is not worth five shillings; whereas a fine head from the same plate will bring ten guineas, and if a proof could be produced it would in all probability realize-twenty.

I now deem it necessary to remark that my wonder has uniformly been excited upon inspecting illustrated Grangers, to observe heads inserted which in all probability did not bear a trace of the personages whom they are stated to represent; that a writer so competent should therefore have enrolled these abortions upon his biographic page is wonderful. In addition however to such pretended likenesses as Selman the pickpocket, Nell Rummin the ale-wife, in the reign of Henry the Eighth, Bull and Farnham the weavers, and countless others, I shall quote two cases where the portrait of one man is assigned as the resemblance of another; instance Caxton and Pinson, the printers, the former being the likeness of an Italian poet, and the latter a copy of a folio wood-cut, representing a foreign man of literature.

Si fovet in terris rideret Heraclitus.

This volume, although incomplete, is a proof of infinite perseverance and industry, and well deserves the commendation of every Chalcographimanian.

Strutt's Dictionary of Engravers, which now produces a very exorbitant price, is a specimen of infinite ingenuity; indeed, all the productions of this writer are of invaluable utility for the curious matter they contain, and are very justly appreciated by the antiquarian and every lover of Virtu.

The discovery of Chalcography, like many other useful arts, proved to be the mere result of chance. Thomas Finiguerra, a native of Florence, who was a goldsmith, and flourished in the fifteenth century, is the personage handed down to posterity, as the original discoverer of engraving, which is said to owe its origin to one of the following circumstances, though the latter appears to me as being by far the most natural, and consequently bears the greater resemblance to truth. Finiguerra it is stated, chanced to let a piece of copper fall into some melted sulphur, where the ink with which he had filled the incisions made upon the plate left the impression of his work upon the mineral in question. The other narrative states that a washerwoman happened to leave some damp linen upon a plate whereon the artist had been working, when a faint impression upon the cloth happening to meet Finiguerra's observation, he tried the experiment on moistened paper, the satisfactory result of which led him to prosecute the Chalcographian Art.

The W---db---rn family, consisting of four personages, which now blazes in every branch of the pictorial art, owes its origin to a sweeper of the streets, from which main stock has sprung this enlightened Quartetto, whose respective avocations are as follow: Printselling, Book-vending, Picture-dealing, and Frame-making. I have only to add that the Merchant of Old Canvas is much indebted for his rise to the patronage of the Duke of Hamilton and Earl Fitzwilliam.

N. B. The Chalcographian brother pretends that he can ascertain the precise age of paper by its taste.

In order to introduce the present note, I must acquaint my readers that Mr. D---bd---n, towards the termination of the first volume of Ames's Typography, at page 363, acquaints the public by way of supplementary note extraordinary, that he has made a most wonderful discovery in the Chalcographian art, which he introduces to notice in the following words:

“At page four it has been asserted, on the authority of Huber, that there is no engraving extant with the name of Finiguerra inscribed upon it. In a conversation with Mr. Woodburn, jun. of St. Martin's lane, (whose choice collection of early engravings and antiquarian knowledge of the art are equally conspicuous) and mentioning to him this dictum of Huber, I was not a little delighted, as well as surprised by his shewing me the original engraving, of which the opposite plate is a fac-simile, reduced to the exact proportion of one-half. Mr. Woodburn conjectures with good reason, that the reversed initials TFI were intended for Thomas Finiguerra Incidebat or Incisit. I need hardly inform the reader of the singular value of the original, which is in all probability unique, nor of the spirit and expression of the composition itself, considering the very early period of the art in which it was executed. Although such an ornament may be considered somewhat misplaced in a work which treats principally of Typography and Literature, I could not resist the temptation of gratifying the public with so important an acquisition to the History of Engraving.”

The subject represented in the engraving thus cited, is Hercules destroying the Hydra, which was purchased by W---db---n, of Thane the printseller. This most flourishing account was of course productive of vast effect upon the minds of green-horn collectors; but I must candidly avow, that from the very first moment I glanced upon the copy in question, I felt assured that its original was not produced from the burin of Finiguerra. Thus matters continued until the copy of an undoubted engraving by Finiguerra, preserved at Paris, made its appearance, thus setting the matter at rest; in addition to which I have since been favoured with the inspection of a still more beautiful specimen of this rare engraver's art in the possession of Mr. Ottley, a gentleman of refined taste, which affords the most incontestible proof that the boasted unique of D---bd---n is nothing more than mus in pice. During the progress of the B---bl---m---nia, this writer thought fit to level his shafts at Mr. G---rd---n---r, the bookseller, of Pall Mall, whose singularity of character is perfectly well known: that attack was manfully repelled to the discomfiture of the typographist, who, fired no doubt with this Finiguerra specimen of Chalcography, thought fit to issue into the printselling mart, which is already overstocked, a series of portraits, possessing but little, if any claim to the patronage of the Collector.

This work, which did not originally display any great degree of acumen, is even rendered less worthy of commendation, in consequence of the annotations of Mr. Fuseli, who edited the last edition. With respect to the disquisition on the arts written by Barry, and which contains much unjustifiable reprehension of his present Majesty's judgment, in countenancing Mr. West as an able painter; it is not universally known that this objectionable part, which proved highly detrimental to Barry, proceeded from the pen of Peter Pindar, otherwise Doctor W---lc---t, who never made known to Mr. Barry the substance of what he had inserted prior to the work being issued from the press. I should in this place deem myself extremely remiss, were I not to express in the warmest terms my respect for our Sovereign's taste, who, unlike his ancestor George the Second, when he thought fit to turn his back upon Hogarth, has never failed to evince the most pointed predilection for the arts, and has uniformly extended his patronage to every skilful practitioner of painting.

The above nobleman, who may be termed one of the first founders of the Chalcographian dynasty, was nevertheless no particular friend to genius, which his conduct to Chatterton sufficiently testifies; neither does he appear to have been more mindful of those persons who had every claim to his consideration, since Kirget, the printer of all his lucubrations, which issued from the private press at Strawberry Hill, after assiduously serving him for nearly thirty years, was at his lordship's death turned adrift, with a paltry legacy; whereas his French valet was rendered comfortable for life.

The individual here quoted, at the sale of S---r J---ms L---k---s prints, paid the above price for a portrait of Sir Henry Inglefield, engraved by Faithorne, which was not only a bad impression, but in very poor condition; and the same personage also paid nearly fifty pounds at Graves's sale for an equestrian print, representing the Earl of Oxford and Lord Southampton on horseback.

This specimen of typography, of which there are only two copies existing, was stolen from the Vatican at Rome during the Gallic depredations committed in that celebrated city. This extreme rarity is owing to the conduct of the then wearer of the tiara, who condemned the whole edition to be burnt, on account of the licentiousness which pervades the whole work. At this momentous epoch in the annals of auctioneering, the great competitorship was between the M---rq---s and E---l Sp---nc---r, who possesses one of the most classic libraries in the kingdom. The sum at which this copy of the Decameron was knocked down proved £.2266.

Rarus enim fame sensus communis in illa,
Fortuna.
JUVENAL.

Our noble M---rq---s has also a most incurable itch for books of emblems, which he will purchase at any price, and in regard to himself, he certainly may rank as the Emblem of Death, with which stricture I will now wind up my comment.

As a collector for Granger, Mr. B---ll deceased was very conspicuous; but on the score of his liberality, more this deponent saith not.

The lady here adverted to, who is now chronicled with the dead, possessed during her terrestrial pilgrimage a most violent cacoëthes for scriptural illustrations, in which pursuit she is now imitated by L---rd M---rk K---rr, respecting whose judgment more will be stated in the progress of my annotating pages.

No individual is more fond of increasing his collection than the nobleman above cited, who would no doubt drink a bottle of geneva with any two-penny printseller in order to purchase cheap. Having in a preceding note given specimens of his Grace's friendly predilections, I shall here subjoin a further instance of Br---nt's upright mode of dealing, which was rendered pre-eminently conspicuous in a public court of justice. The proof here adverted to, occurred before Sir James Mansfield, when St---ce the printseller, being interrogated as a witness, deposed to the following effect, when speaking as to Br---nt's character: “I am well acquainted with Br---nt, who carries his books for sale in a green bag, in order that he may pass for a lawyer. He one day came to my house in this manner, with one volume of a work which he was desirous of selling, the book in question being in very good condition. Now it so happened, my Lord Judge, that I had been at Wilson's, the bookbinder's, that very morning, and had there seen the other volume of the work, which was worm-eaten, and in a very bad state: in consequence of this, it occurred to me, that the book at the binder's was Br---nt's, wherefore I demanded of him whether Mr. Wilson was not his binder; to which he replied in the affirmative, thus affording a convincing proof that this man was desirous of deceiving me by producing the volume in good condition as a specimen of the work, as, after payment, he could have referred me to Mr. Wilson for the remaining volume, when I should have been the complete dupe of his artifice. In consequence of this, I ordered my maid to deny me at all times to the green bag man and his son, whensoever they should intrude themselves at my door.”

These noble personages are not only famed for their love of the Chalcographian Art, but are characterized by a spirit of liberality in accumulating their pictorial stores, which is deserving of the most unqualified commendation.

The particular predilection of the Marquis of B---te, who was the purchaser of Mr. B---ll's Granger, is for the productions of our pictorial satirist Hogarth, concerning whose genius and talents so much has been said by Messrs. John and Samuel Ireland, not to omit their predecessor Trusler, whose work, descriptive of his plates, is now become very valuable. It would be highly indecorous in me, were I to pass over the mention of this nobleman's taste and judgment, which are rendered conspicuous in every branch of his Chalcographian research.

I have been given to understand that this cumbersome commentator was in possession of a very curious manuscript relating to the stage, and the performers of the period of James the First, which was left to the College by Allen its founder. This theatric treasure was deposited in the above gentleman's hands by way of a loan, but from appearance it was more than probable the library of Dulwich would long continue divested of its just right. This circumstance brings to recollection the conduct of David Garrick, who, taking advantage of the stupidity which characterized the then Head of the College, procured from him all the rare old Quarto Plays, for which invaluable store he decorated the Library with some modern gay bound works by way of an equitable exchange.

The commentaries of this theatrical madman most forcibly remind me of the statutes at large, which are most tremendous in bulk, without possessing much internal acumen to compensate for the burthensome expenditure to which the purchaser of his lucubrations is necessarily subjected.

Our Thespian hero, who may well march hand in hand with the last mentioned annotator, has for a long series of years collected theatrical rarities with the most indefatigable industry; nor can it be denied that he has generally displayed a liberality of sentiment in the prosecution of his mania, which redounds much to his credit. If we regard him in the light of a scholar, he most indubitably possesses classical acquirements; but like many other schoolmen, by endeavouring to prove himself superior to others, he has over-leaped the boundaries of decency; for

------ our court you know is haunted,
With a refined Traveller of Spain;
A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
One whom the music of his own vain tongue
Doth ravish like enchanting harmony.
SHAKESPEARE.

This little gentleman, of whom I shall again have cause to speak in the course of my poem, was one of the most determined auction-goers, and from his ceaseless comments in favour of lots, one would have imagined that he was pensioned by the Auctioneer; in short, it appeared as if nature had moulded his tongue into the shape of a pretty copy.

Maximus in minimis.


43

BOOK THE SECOND.

On commence par être dupe, on finit par être fripon.

Of folly some are first the slaves,
Who end career by turning knaves.

AUCTIONEERS, &c.

All hail, propitious season hail,
“Crimp'd leaves are wafted by the gale;
“Hail Autumn;” cried my gallant knight:—
“For print sales 'gin by candle-light:
“The drenching rain from spout now sputters,
“And mud in tides rolls down the gutters;
“To me more sweet that Summer's sun,
“Bereft of evening Auctions' fun:

44

“The town is full, and day by day,
“Sale follows Sale in proud array;
“The Auctioneer begins his reign,
“And I now grace the bidding train;
“No sound so sweet as when upon
“My lot, falls hammer, with—Gone, Gone .”
To take these heroes in succession,
As senior of our grand procession;
Lo! R---ch---rds---n shall grace my lays ,
So worthy Catalogus' praise;

45

Since copies he hath publish'd fair,
Of prints unique and portraits rare;
To satisfy Collector's itch,
And make blank leaves of Granger rich:
For he who such an errant fop is,
To turn up snout at sight of copies;
And in his Granger mighty huffer,
Originals will only suffer;
Must ev'ry niggard thought unbend,
And mind make up huge sums to spend;
Yet let him squander what he will,
One third of Granger he can't fill,
Wherefore one page in ev'ry three,
Alas! a yawning blank must be .

46

Our R---ch---rds---n in rostrum well,
On lot that's choice knows how to dwell :
His mind is honest—nature good,
Yet sometimes, be it understood,
He can grow hot like other men,
And woe betide his carcase then,
Who rashly dares to brave his choler,
For me, I would not for a dollar:
Witness when once at fam'd Knock-Out ,
'Twixt R---ch---rds---n and Gr---v---s was rout;

47

When former dubbing latter oaf,
Hurl'd quick at sconce a quartern loaf,
So hard; that had it come with noddle,
In rueful contact, Gr---v---'s, poor coddle,

48

In house with head bound up had been,
So dire is passion—naughty sin .
Yet plain I'll speak and prove commender,
Of this same veteran portrait-vender;
Had old minx Fortune acted fair,
And for deserts dealt out due share;
From trade ere this he had been steering,
Nor still prov'd Knight of Auctioneering.
And such reward he merits well,
And would have tasted, if foul spell,
Had not entrapp'd him in the net,
By wily Scottish cunning set :

49

Which hath inveigl'd many more,
As I'll rehearse in rhyming lore,
Ere Chalcographian race is run,
And Catalogus' story done.
In classics vers'd, with manners meek,
Nor less with Latin stor'd than Greek ;
Lo! Chr---st---e view the hammer wielding,
As Square does stick, pourtray'd by Fielding;

50

He treads in shoes of great Papa,
And tells alike—untruths comme ça:
For Auctioneer would give emetic,
That was not vers'd in prose-poetic;
In fine it must till day of doom,
Of pulpit rank the great heir-loom.
Still though I've learned nam'd my knight,
With ignorance I've known him fright
Such share of sense as I possess:
Witness when once he laid great stress,
As porter held up lot before us,
A picture bright of painter Florus,
Which knight with acumen quite keen,
Pronounc'd chef d'œuvre—Florentine;

51

Whereas said artist void of blemish,
Was call'd the Raphael of the Flemish;
'Twas Francis Florus name no doubt,
Turn'd Ch---st---'s senses inside out .
At sale of Bishop's stores—of Ely ,
Friend Catalogus bled quite freely;
Thus easing well lin'd purse of wad,
Since Going, Going—claim'd his Nod.

52

Fine Granger thus with stores he dress'd,
While Clarendon due share impress'd;
Whereby this truth appears quite plain
If bidder was in mirthful vein,
To common sense 'tis render'd clear,
As much delight felt auctioneer;
Who profits gaining chuckled gaily;
So thus o'erjoy'd I'll bid him vale.
To yield our Catalogus treat,
Puffed up with pride and vain conceit;
In Auction's guise I next array,
The King-street K---ng and friend L---ch---e;
Who well nigh robb'd of sense the grain,
That stocks my Chalcographian's brain;
As they the wond'rous stores unlock'd,
And down to ardent bidders knock'd,
Within their well attended room,
A Farmer's hoards and eke a Coombe:

53

Collection most renown'd of Reed,
Devoted to Shaksperian creed:
And Tooke who butted with sharp Horne,
'Gainst Ministers, like Unicorn;
And with Big-wigs made hurly-burley,
Diversions printing—nam'd of Purley:
From wonders such as these 'tis plain,
With Catalogus K---ng must reign,
'Mongst pulpit tribe that makes oration,
A monstrous brilliant constellation .

54

Wherefore in hopes he long may blaze
To others now I'll tune my lays.
With Catalogus hand in hand,
To L---gh and S---th---by's in the Strand,
I wend my way:—to fame well-known,
Whose acts are grac'd with honour's zone,
Since unlike some that might be quoted,
For deeds unfair they are not noted ,

55

'Tis true this twain can't claim renown,
Mere putters-up and knockers-down;
Yet ne'ertheless all-bounteous fate,
Hath dealt to them collections great,
That won my Chalcographian's heart,
Who ne'er yet fail'd to play his part:
Witness the stores of All---n's vat
Whose wit is like his brewing—flat:
A Tyson's prints and medals rare ,
That made our Catalogus stare;
Like Hindoo running fearful muck ,
Or screaming pig that's newly stuck,

56

The hoards of Dog—D---nt---furioso
At sight of hound—who Doloroso,
Now weeps o'er false Shaksperian lore ,
Which sprang from Maisterre Ireland's store;

57

Whose impudence deserves the rod,
For having ap'd the muse's god .
To Boucher praises must be pour'd,
With Marquis Townshend's classic hoard;
While still to sweeten more the posset,
Come books of dirty snarling G---ss---t;

58

Who after twenty years hard courting,
Procur'd an help-mate for disporting .
So much for Auction pedigree,
Of S---th---by and companion L---gh.
A Scot now booing to the great,
His creatures lord's in selling state ;
Whose wither'd phiz you'll ever find,
The portrait of his hungry mind;

59

While Dutch-pug like to sweeten life,
Beside him view his vixen wife;
That breathes with raven's croak her spite,
A most infuriate Belgic sprite;
That naught e'er suffers to go by,
Her finger always in the pye .
'Twas here great Catalogus saw,
Rare sights and clapp'd on them his claw.
When Argyle's Duke to sale resign'd,
Delights of Chalcographian's mind;
And Udney's choice collection too,
With Spencer's pass'd in grand review ;

60

But what allur'd mine hero most,
Was when fine proofs—bewitching host,
Were brought the hammer's blow to share,
Impressions matchless, bright, and rare;
Which Ph---ll---p--- singing blithe Te Deum,
Had chose for sale at great M---s---um;
Whereas he should have borne to dwelling
No more than duplicates for selling ,
But northern sense is ne'er in mist,
And proofs we know to mill bring grist.
While to Museum thus I'm led,
Of D---gh---t---n something should be said;

61

Who void of blushes stole at will,
From all collections purse to fill;
Till Rembrandt's etching, prime landscape ,
Call'd coach, brought D---gh---n into scrape,
Who finding guilt will courage alter,
On being prov'd a base defaulter;
Restor'd whate'er he still possess'd,
And thus the case was lull'd to rest.

62

A second son of Scotia's isle,
Now claims my Catalogus' smile,
Whose mental attributes may be,
In words condens'd no more than three,
Wherefore he is—so wills it fate,
Conceited—stupid—obstinate;
'Tis true he oft appalls with wonder,
When hammer's blow re-echoes thunder,
Thus what his elocution lacks,
Is made good by tremendous whacks;

63

Which oft from seat hath caus'd to jump,
My knight, electrified by thump.
O! what a famous row was made,
With Chalcographians and the Trade,
When dainty lots of Lake deceas'd ,
Heroic bidders finely fleec'd:
Or when with Chalcographian rage,
He warr'd for Basiologian page,
Suppos'd from Fife's great Lord to come,
Whereas I swear 'twas all an hum ,

64

No more belonging to that peer,
Than Champagne's brew'd from hops, like beer;

65

For reason cogent I will show,
To prove that none this secret know;
Since sale, in hand, upon my life,
I've had the volume fam'd of F---fe.
Optics 'tis plain there's no deceiving
Seeing and feeling is believing.
Who would have thought that e'er a D---dd,
Would rank with auction dons—a god,

66

Still Catalogus bends the knee,
And hails him—high sublimity.
Yet though on stilts he now appears,
If we retrace a few short years,
We view him serving out to many,
In Lambeth Marsh prints at one penny,
Which strung in rows the hovel grac'd,
With dust and cobwebs thick enchas'd .
Not far from thence in Lambeth Road.
Of P---ls---r stands the known abode ,

67

With whom war Chalcographic rag'd,
As price 'gainst price was eager wag'd:
Thus either sharp print-selling brother,
Strove hard to undersell the other ;

68

Next mov'd to street call'd Tavistock,
To D---dd in crowds Collectors flock;
Till last in search of fortune's fane,
He shows off in Saint Martin's Lane,
Where I fame's trump now boist'rous blowing,
Thrice hail him knight—of Going—going .

69

In shoals methinks I now see flock down
Collectors, Ev---ns to thy knock-down;
When Roxburgh's fam'd gigantic sale,
Made Catalogus' pocket wail,
Nor did a Stanley's choice editions,
Cause less enfuriate competitions
With Bibliomanians, lur'd at finding
To paper large join'd splendid binding.

70

Last worthy to be rank'd the friend
Of Catalogus, I'll unbend

71

My Muse, that from Pall Mall meanders,
To halt at Auction-room of S---nd---rs;

72

Whose heavy head leaves in the lurch ,
His neighbours at Saint Dunstan's church;

73

I mean the wooden brace that tell,
The fleeting hours by striking bell.

74

With monst'rous clubs, from whence you cull
Such brains as grace of those the scull,

75

That gaping stand, to view the blows
From whence the din recording flows.

76

O S---nd---rs 'twas thy envied doom,
For Johnny Sc---tt to wield birch broom,
Of last deeds making thus the clearance,
Ere Jacky made his disappearance ;

77

In shades at once his head to hide
Immerg'd in black dishonour's tide,
For whoso from his bail can fly
Is stamp'd with guilt of deadly dye,

78

His rectitude of mind debas'd
And ev'ry moral thrill effac'd.
Fain would the weary muse depart
From knock-down knight—but Auction Mart
Claims at her hand corrective whip,
The deep deceptive veil to strip,
That robs fair trader of his due;
By specious holding forth to view,
An eye-entrapping gew-gaw show,
With nothing save external glow;
Like winter's sickly rays, that bring
To mind the beams of dawning spring,

79

Which scarcely shine ere snow and frost
Teach us 'tis winter to our cost:
So Marts, like these, may lure the eye
Of thoughtless idiots passing by;
But he that trusts, deceiv'd will be,
And knowledge gain with golden key;
For nought, save money's precious loss,
Will make him know true ore from dross.
 

Magno conatu, magnas nugas. HORACE.

The dealer and auctioneer whose feats I now discuss, is a very good-hearted honest man, to whom portrait collectors and illustrators are under infinite obligation for the numerous copies from old and rare portraits which he has ushered into publicity. Neither is C---lf---ld less to be commended for such copies as Sir John Hotham, with a string of others too numerous for insertion in the present volume.

Every individual possessing the slightest knowledge of illustrating Granger's Biographical History, must allow the justice of the above remark, for so numerous have been the collectors for this work, that the market is completely cleared of portraits possessing any claim to scarcity, independent of which such heads as are procurable have more than quadrupled their value within the last twenty years.

It gave me great pleasure to find R---ch---rds---n was the auctioneer selected to catalogue and dispose of the collections of Sir William Musgrave and Mr. Tighe, as they no doubt proved extremely lucrative to the vender.

As the present term may not be generally understood, I shall in the most laconic way possible explain this chicanery of the printselling trade. When a Knock Out is decided upon by a select number of printsellers, it is agreed between them that whoever begins bidding for any lot is not to be opposed by the others leagued of the party; wherefore as all competitorship is thus in a great measure done away, the property falls an easy prey to the junto, and thus the poor proprietor is fleeced of half the sum his prints would have produced had every dealer acted honourably. The sale being over, these honest gentlemen repair with their lots to an adjoining ale-house, where they resell the property among themselves, which is technically termed knocking out, and whatsoever additional sum is thus acquired, this gracious set expend upon beef-steaks and a copious booze.

The foregoing couplets being sufficiently explanatory of the event in question, it only remains for me to assure the reader that the circumstance may be relied upon as a matter of fact, which neither of the parties if applied to could have the effrontery to deny.

Master J---hnny of Noble Author renown, was by no means backward in letting R---ch---rds---n into a good thing, whose pocket has smarted to the tune of several hundreds, by the predatory incursions of our Northern Adventurer.

The personage now before us, who owes his origin to a very expert parent, is the most classical of our auctioneering fraternity, having been gifted with scholastic education, that has inducted him to a knowledge of the Greek and Roman writers. As a vender he ranks very fair, and in private life his character will stand the test of the most minute enquiry.

I must confess that I felt no small share of surprise on witnessing this egregious blunder from a person of education, and more particularly as the father of our Auctioneer had a knowledge of the several schools of painting at his tongue's end: in order therefore to avoid such mistakes in future, I would advise Mr. C--- to make Pilkington his pulpit companion.

Among other lucky windfalls that have come under the hammer of this personage, the collection of the late Bishop of Ely was not the least in magnitude, and consequently productive of considerable profit.

This brace of Hammertonians have no cause to complain of the frowns of fortune, having been honoured with the disposal of the most famous Chalcographian hoards; witness the sales of those famous collectors Farmer and Coombe, which brought immense sums, together with the property of Mr. Reed, who, as a commentator on Shakspeare has, in many instances handed his name down as a literary character with honour to posterity. In addition to these must be named the library of the late John Horne Tooke, who figured most conspicuously as a political character during the North, Chatham, and Pitt administrations; while his deep research as a scientific scholar is indelibly stamped on the annals of literature by the acumen displayed in his Diversions of Purley, than which perhaps a more learned production never issued from the press of this or any other country.

If the abilities of these individuals in their vocation are not very prominent, their characters however are unimpeachable, being fair and honest dealers in all their transactions through life, as every one must allow who has had any concern with them.

Mr. All---n, of hop-renown, who is not only a buyer but a vender also, seems to collect for the express purpose of selling again. Far different from this was the conduct of the liberal Mr. Tys---n deceased, whose judgment was conspicuously displayed at the sale of his rare collection of prints and medals, which afforded a real treat to every lover and judge of the arts.

In the East Indies it frequently occurs that a native will chew laudanum to such an excess, that the most raging delirium ensues; in which frenzied state the afflicted party seizes the first weapon he can find, and rushing out with the gesticulations of fury imprinted on his visage, runs forward, and will stab any unfortunate being that does not clear the way at his approach. Such is the explanation of Running a Muck, which terminates in death, as the sufferer proceeds till exhausted, when he drops down and expires, from the effect produced by this powerful deleterious drug.

The gentleman now figuring in our Chalcographimanian drama, must certainly have been afflicted at some period of his life with the hydrophobia, having evinced in a certain senatorial meeting the most rooted antipathy to the race of hounds: neither is he less acrimonious upon the subject of the Ireland forgeries, which he originally purchased, but growing weary of his acquisition, brought them to the hammer, when the price bid was so trifling in comparison with what he had originally paid, that the property was bought in and now continues in Mr. D---'s keeping, who never glances at this modern antique, without experiencing an emotion similar to that which results from the working of a plentiful dose of ipecacuanha.

It has frequently afforded me a matter of astonishment to think how this literary fraud could have so long duped the world, and involved in its deceptious vortex such personages as a Parr, Wharton, and Sheridan, not omitting Jemmy Boswell, of Johnsonian renown; nor can I even refrain from smiling whensoever the volumes of Malone and Chalmers, together with the pamphlets of Boaden, Waldron, Wyatt, and Philalethes, otherwise—Webb, Esq. chance to fall in my way. All this however verifies the words of Martial, when he says, Stultus labor est ineptiarum.

The three collections above noted came to the hammer of these auctioneers. As for the Doctor and his prime copies he certainly must have possessed some unaccountable talismanic charm to effect this inroad upon a wealthy lady's affections; for as to the exterior form divine, he might well have exclaimed with Richard, “Why love forswore me in my motlter's womb.”

This auctioneer has two famous auxiliaries in D---dd and H---ll---nd; the former puffing and purchasing, while the latter, instead of flourishing off panegyrics, is contented to flourish the hammer, being denied the aid of finished enunciation, both by nature and a lack of scholastic acquirements.

The lanky appearance of Ph---ll---p---'s countenance is doubtless owing to the tongue and temper of his Dutch help-mate, who strictly verifies this old French proverb; “La langue des femmes est leur epée, et elles ne la laissent pas rouiller.”

The sale of the above mentioned collections fell to the lot of the Auctioneer now under review.

Th---ne having furnished Mr. Cracherode, who left his collection to the British Museum, with numerous prints, recognized the rare portrait of Doctor Moore, by Faithorne, when finding that he was outbid by W---db---rn the dealer, he made the circumstance public.

D---gh---n the artist being countenanced by the Prince Regent, and on terms of intimacy with B---lo who held a situation in the British Museum, procured admission whensoever he wished, under the plea of making copies of rare etchings; instead of which his practice was to select the choicest prints he could find from Cracherode's collection in particular, with which he was in the habit of walking off. Among the valuable Chalcographic specimens thus procured, was the above-mentioned extra rare and fine etching known by the name of Coach, in consequence of one of those vehicles being introduced into the design. Of this print D---gh---n executed a precise copy, and then disposed of one of the impression to W---db---rn as being an original, when the latter, anxious to ascertain the fact for a certainty, and well aware that there was one deposited in the Museum in Cracherode's bequest, he repaired thither for the purpose of comparing the impressions, but upon inspection of the folios, this coach landscape could not be found; when a strict enquiry was instituted, the result of which proved a complete discovery of the depredations in question.

Whatsoever may be wanting on the score of rhetorical tropes, such deficiency is amply compensated by the most liberal use of this vender's hammer, who, though from North of the Tweed, was not as I have before stated a competent match for the Norfolk Br---nt. Sir James L---k---'s effects, which were very numerous, and sold for high prices, were consigned to St---w---rt, who had no cause to complain of the result, which was extremely beneficial to his pocket.

Basiologia is a small folio, containing fine impressious of many rare portraits by the Passes and others, of which volume very few indeed have made their appearance. The contents of the last that was sold by St---w---rt, netted upwards of five hundred and fifty-five pounds; and was universally supposed to have belonged to the Earl of Fife, well known to possess a copy; but in this conjecture the Chalcographimanians labour under a most egregious error, as the volume in question, to my certain knowledge, is still in his lordship's library.

Nil intra est oleam, nil extra est in noce duri.
HOR.

Some years back an imperfect copy of the Basiologia was purchased by a well-known bookseller, who is dubbed by his tribe with the significant appellation of Measter B---y---ns, for eighteen-pence, which he relinquished at the Knock Out for an advance of six pounds. This new purchaser then disposed of his acquisition for forty-five pounds the day after he brought his bargain into the market; on which he conceived that he had outdone all former outdoings, but to his mortification ascertained when too late, that the next possessor procured two hundred and seventy guineas for the prints, within three days after his disposal of them.

This auctioneer also disposed of a collection which was falsely said to belong to a foreign Marquis, whereas it was the property of M---j---r Bl---gr---ve, who, possessing no Chalcographic knowledge, was completely imposed upon by a set of fawning scycophantic Italians, amongst whom one bearing the ludicrous appellation of Tom Punch, was not only the most prominent in adding to the collection, but also in puffing the lots during the period of the sale. It is merely necessary to add by way of proving the rascality of these foreigners, that the collection, consisting of German and Italian prints, which originally cost the Major several thousand pounds, did not after payment of customhouse duties realize as many hundreds.

Facts are rather stubborn things. The events above recorded will stand the test of the most rigid scrutiny, and strongly display the wonderful vicissitudes that frequently attend upon man.

This supercilious print-vender was originally an errand boy to R---d of the Strand, who in course of time began to think that money might be realized by setting up a small shop on the Surrey side of the water, and in order to ascertain this he took what was then little better than a hut, placing P---ls---r there to sell for him. The latter finding that the scheme answered, persuaded R---d that it was a useless speculation, and in consequence of this his master relinquished the shop, which P---ls---r instantly took, where he gradually got forward in the world, and now figures among print-sellers a very noted personage. This man, to increase his profits, has also taken an auction shop under the carpet-warehouse in Leicester-fields, which fairly ranks with others in the metropolis of a similar class.

No sooner had D---dd set up than a violent competition for the acquirement of custom took place between these Surrey heroes, each sneaking by candle-light to the other's window, in order to ascertain the prices marked upon prints, according to which they either encreased or decreased the sums at which they intended to sell their own commodities.

As an Auctioneer D---dd, though extremely ignorant, has had remarkable success, nor was the disposal of G---n---ral D---dsw---ll's collection one of the most insignificant boons of fortune. As to his pronunciation he calls a print admirably fine, and so forth. On the score of consummate effrontery no knight of the hammer can surpass him, as he literally will sit at his own table, while H---ll---nd is vending his own prints, and bid with as much assurance as if he were a total stranger. He does not perhaps bear in recollection that there are such things as acts of parliament, and that a clause in one, relating to auctioneers, prohibits any such vender from bidding more than once, which must either be at the commencement or termination of the bidding. By such conduct as this however the man has got forward, and being desirous to imitate the Great, has taken his country dwelling near Buckingham House. These grand ideas however sometimes experience a temporary degradation, as proved the case in R---ch---rds---n's sale room, when D---dd having given a person named R---wl---s the lie, the latter reminded him of a former period, saying, that although he then looked so big, time was that he had not wherewith to purchase a pound of potatoes; which so enraged mine Auctioneer, that blows ensued, and glorious milling match proved the result, to the infinite delight of the Chalcographimanian crew assembled.

This man is an Auctioneer, and when that is said, his history is at once enrolled: the R---xb---r---gh collection, which was very extensive, was much enriched by H---rb---rt and the Sc---tt's, while the St---nl---y library had to boast the choicest editions, which were farther enhanced in value by a display of the most sumptuous bindings.

As a specimen of the prices at which the lots sold at the sale of this nobleman's effects, I shall first quote as instances the following works from the printing press of Caxton. £ s. Literary Festival, folio, purchased by Earl Spencer ...105 0 The prouffytable Boke for Manes Soule, called the Chastysing of Goddes Children, folio ..................140 0 The Golden Legend, or Lives of the Saints, 1483, folio..31 0 The Life of St. Jerome, quarto ....................... 121 0 Catherine of Tenis, folio ............................. 95 0 Tullius of Old Age and Friendship, 1481, folio ....... 115 0 The Mirrour of the World, 1480, folio (the fairest and finest of Caxton existing ............................ 351 15 £ s. The Kalendayr of Shyppers, folio ..................... 180 0 The Boke of St. Alban's, folio, made perfect by MS. .. 147 0 Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, MSS. on vellum, with illuminations, purchased by the Duke of Devonshire ... 357 0

I have not been able to trace the early prices of all the Caxtons mentioned in the above list, but the subjoined specimens will abundantly testify the rapid progress of the Bibliomania among Collectors. At Mr. West's sale in 1775, the following forming part of the above volumes, sold as under: At Mr. West's. At D. of R. £ s. £ s. The Prouffytable Boke for Mane's Soule, &c.....5 0..140 0 The Mirror of the World, &c. ...... .... ..... 2 13..351 15 The Golden Legend ............................... 12 15.. 31 0 Tullius of Old Age and Friendship ................ 5 10..115 0 The Boke of St. Albans ...........................13 0..147 0

The 17th of June, 1812, proved however the grand climax in book vending, for at no time, and in no country, did lots realize prices at which they were knocked down by Mr. Evans. No. 6,292. Il Decamerone di Boccacio, 1471 .....£2,260

Of the present rarity of this edition of the Decameron, it is perhaps sufficient to state, that no other perfect copy is known to exist, after the fruitless research of more than three hundred years. No. 6,348. The Boke of the Fayt of Armes of Chyvalrye, folio, Caxton, 1479, bought by Mr. Nornaville, for .. 336 0 No. 6,343. The Veray trew History of the Valiant Knight Jason, folio, 1492. Of this rare edition no other copy is known; bought by the Duke of Devonshire ...... 94 10 £ s. No. 6,350. The Recuyeil of the Histories of Troye, &c. Caxton, 1473. This matchless copy of the first book printed in the English language, belonged to Elizabeth Grey, Queen of Edward IV. bought by the Duke of Devonshire, for......................................1060 10 No. 6,353. The most Pytiful History of the noble Appolyn, king of Thrye, quarto, very rare, W. de Worde, 1519, bought by Mr. Nornaville, for ................. 115 10 No. 6,360. The History of Blanchardyn and the Princess Eglantyne, folio, Caxton. Unique, but unfortunately imperfect; bought by Earl Spencer, for .............. 215 5 No. 6,361. The right Pleasaunt and Goodlie Historye of the four Sonnes of Alman, folio; bought by Mr. Heber, for .................................................. 55 0 No. 6376. The lyfe of Vergilius, rare, quarto, bought by the Marquis of Blandford, for ........................ 54 12 No. 6,377. The Storye of Frederyke of Jenne, wood cuts, 1518; bought by Triphook for ................... 65 2 No. 6,378. The Story of Mary of Nemegen, 1518, bought by Triphook, for...................................... 67 0 The day's sale amounted to ......................... 5035 7

In addition to the above specimens of the Bibliomanian furor, I may farther note. £ s. Webb's Discourse of English Poeterie, which sold for .. 64 0 The Paradyse of Daintye Devises ...................... 53 15 The Passetime of Pleasure, by Stephen Hawys ........... 81 0 The Example of Virtue by the same Hand ............... 60 0 The History of Boccus and Sydracke ................... 30 0 The Contraverse between a Lover and a Jay ............ 39 0 The Spectacle of Lovers by Will Walter ............... 43 0 Guistarde and Sigesmunde ............................. 54 0 The Castell of Pleasure .............................. 65 0 A Translation of the Ship of Fools.................... 64 0 A Littel Treatise of the Horse, the Sheep, the Goos, by J. Lydgate ........................................... 44 0 The Love and Complaints between Mars and Venus ....... 60 0 £ s. Gower's Confessions of Amantes ...................... 336 0 Another neither so old nor so ugly (such is the value of deformity) ........................................... 18 6

Great sales of books by auction, to the amount of £40,000, have been made within these three years, and it was early computed, that the Roxburgh sale would produce twenty-five or thirty thousand pounds more. A collection of two-penny portraits of criminals and other remarkable characters, chiefly persons tried at the Old Bailey, sold at this sale for £94. 10s.; and a collection of halfpenny ballads and garlands pasted in three volumes, for £478. 15s. Four years ago £32. was deemed a fair price for the first edition of Shakspeare's works, in folio, 1623; but in these Bibliomanian times, the collector conceives that he has purchased a bargain, if he procures the said volume for one hundred guineas, the price which it brought at the Duke of Roxburgh's sale. For a more elaborate account of the Bookmania, and particularly of the Decameron of Boccacio, vide vol. 5, page 272, &c. of the General Chronicle and Literary Magazine, from May to August 1812.

As another convincing proof of the astonishing rise which has taken place in the price of old books, I have farther to instance, that less than twenty years back the rare dramatic pieces of Ferrex and Porrex, and Gorboduc were purchased of Otridge, in the Strand, for five shillings: it would be needless to say at what an advanced price they would sell at the present day.

The vender above-mentioned cuts but a very so-so figure in rhetoric, when employed in the hammer exercise however loud he bawls; and as for his enunciation, in lieu of the word place, he never utters a sentence without pronouncing it plāase, in the very broadest manner possible.

The vender in question was in the constant habit of making cash advances to S---t, who used to vest property in his hands as a security for the same. He also sold the remnant of the Scottish hoards when the game was up, and hic et ubique proved the order of the day. Another mode resorted to, whereby the Auctioneer now under review has realized money, is the following.

The custom is to purchase stock of booksellers in want of ready cash, and not a few dealings of this kind has he had with a knight commercially deceased. These purchases are forwarded to book-binders, of whom he has many in constant employ, that give the most gay appearance to publications of mean repute; when such volumes are not only calculated to captivate his neighbours, the young students in the Temple, but the casual passenger also, to the manifest detriment of the fair trader. By practices such as these our Hammertonian has so well succeeded in feathering his nest, that he can always command £1000. at his banker's, or any other sum to answer the call of every distressed book-wight who cannot raise wind sufficient to draw in his paper kites.

This fact is known throughout the trade, from one of whom I gleaned the information some short time back, coupled with the following relation: that since J---n has been at hide and seek, his itch for auctions was such that he could not refrain from entering a house where property was selling off, when lo! in the middle of the sale, an individual arrived, who had some time previous bailed our run-away, and was consequently fixed with the payment of debt and costs. No sooner therefore did he recognize his man, than seizing him by the collar, he demanded instant remuneration in the face of the whole company, branding S---tt at the same time with every epithet that appertains to a b---d. The pressing nature of the case not admitting of evasion, prompt measures were pursued, and the exasperated creditor, as I was informed, procured immediate satisfaction.

These receptacles, which are a complete nuisance to society, call aloud for the corrective interference of our legislature, as independent of the tinselled rubbish with which they decoy the unsuspecting passengers, they are farther instrumental in depriving the auctioneer of that custom to which he has a just claim, in consequence of the enormous rental of large premises, that he is compelled to tenant, as well as the burthensome government duties to which he is necessarily subjected.

END OF BOOK THE SECOND.

83

BOOK THE THIRD.

O! curas hominum, O! quantum est in rebus inane.

Your cares O! men I'll tell you free,
Are centred in—Frivolity.

OLD PRINT-SELLERS, &c.

Though dead, I must to fame hand down,
Of Senior Gr---v---s the high renown ;
Whose little cunning piggish eye,
Betoken'd all that could rank sly,

84

Who bought with acumen profound,
And turn'd each shilling into pound;
As now will vouch his able son,
Whose knowledge shrewd is scarce outdone
By any Chalcographian wight
That makes old prints his heart's delight.
E'en from a C---lf---d, skilful blade,
True monarch of the portrait trade,
To Catalogus, knight acute,
Who red-hot follows print pursuit;
In short, the living Gr---v---s must be
Rank'd sound judge of Chalcography .

85

In autographs as ably vers'd,
As Chatterton the poet erst;
Or he that later wielded fire-brand,
The impudent and forging Ireland,
Appears to view print-selling Th---ne ,
Of Chalcographian knowledge vain,

86

Who stor'd with pelf is never mum,
Collectors holding 'neath his thumb,
For whoso craves of him rare print,
In payment ne'er must think to stint;
He asks round sum, so if you flout it
I'faith you e'en must do without it;
Which renders plain proverbial lore,
That cash in hand begetteth more.
O'er huge portfolio fretful stands,
Awaiting customers' commands,
Old S---mco who with gutt'ral speech,
Toils gentlemen to over-reach,
Who tightly grasps within his hold,
Bank flimsies, or what's rarer, gold;
Whose ceaseless cry is sure to be,
His starving state and poverty;
So rather than a just debt pay,
He'll send the creditor away,

87

While from his whining tongue so glib,
He canting tells notorious fib ,

88

As Catalogus well can vouch,
Who oft o'erreach'd—hath emptied pouch;
For print raris. by S---mco rated:
Whereas whole quires were then created
From plate new-found, which he'll confer ,
As favour on each customer.

89

M---lt---no next in nasal tone,
That emulates the bagpipe's drone;
Print-seller ranks of highest rate,
Thanks to blind fortune and his fate;
For when he first trod Albion's isle,
He lack'd of wealth the precious pile;

90

Of images the vender poor,
Thus selling wares from door to door .
But now he shares of Dons the love,
With Chalcographians hand and glove.
Such change of times records my pen,
And with them too the fates of men;
For poor to-day is rich to-morrow,
This hour brings mirth—next teems with sorrow.
M---lt---no owes to luck alone
The wealth he now proclaims his own;

91

No talent led to fortune's road,
His scull a very pond'rous load ,

92

Which naught can ever render clear,
Wherefore till death ends life's career,
His genius ne'er from shop will fly,
Just form'd to sell, to bid, and buy .
From sing-song sweet Italia's land,
Another view, who swells our band;
That like the former came sans sous,
With naught but love of pelf in view.

93

His calling then to catch our rats ,
But faith he soon caught better Flats,
For patronage of weak John Bull,
With coin has stow'd his lockers full;
While native worth is left to pine,
Since Britons ever must incline,

94

To pamper foreign art and trick,
Consigning English worth—to Nick :
Did I the helm of state command,
Of vermin straight I'd clear the land.
No fawning foreigner should e'er,
Of ought that 'long'd to me have care;
To Albion's race I'd prove the friend,
Britons on Britons should attend ;

95

With which plain comment I thus close,
And send C---l---g---i to repose .
Array'd in puritanic grace,
Comes Catalogus crony—St---c---,
Who wond'rous well knows how to diddle
Great connoisseurs who buss his fiddle.

96

In fine his word's an ipse dixit,
If nameless print you have, he nicks it :
So well at christ'ning carries farce on,
You'd vow he was some village parson;
Witness our Catalogus, when
He leagued with band of sapient men,
Old Chalcographians passing deep,
Whose judgment ne'er was known to sleep,
And countless others who have nam'd,
A portrait base—Our Shakespeare fam'd;
From which hath issu'd graven plate,
Subscrib'd for by collecting great ,

97

Which well hath answer'd St---c---'s end,
Who proved in this friend Ego's friend:

98

Since after all—no matter whether
A crispin cutter-out of leather
This portrait rare may represent,
Great St---c--- no doubt earn'd cent. per cent.
And though such pictures may be pretty,
He best prefers bank notes from city:

99

So while on print extoll'd to sky,
We talk—that cries out buy fools buy,
A theme still older verse shall melt on,
Mere picture's scrap possess'd by Felton,
That gave to view a German's phiz,
Which R---ch---rds---n by way of quiz,
In sizes three caus'd to be graven,
As if one print of head thus shaven
Were not enough—though dubb'd by sage,
Of Avon's bard the true visāge .

100

With one more comment I'll dismiss,
Our Chalcographian, which is this,
He hath a noddle, but for brain,
Were we to search, 'twould be but vain,
'Tis all mere outside, gew-gaw sham;
His knowledge nothing but flim-flam .
The bard shall now a tale repeat,
With many fam'd exploits replete;
So, first, 'tis fit his theme should quote
Ane Herbert's name, and cautious note ,

101

That æra as the time when winding,
Our youthful toiler at b---k-b---nd---ng;
Like Anaconda round its prey,
Grasp'd stores against printselling day.
And having safe secur'd the spoils,
Left prey to struggle in its toils;
'Twas then to shew how talent oft,
To art oppos'd, proves mighty soft,
That Ir---l---nd, fam'd for picturesque,
And fond of Hogarth's keen burlesque ,

102

Should oft have aided Sawney's views,
Permitting him to pick and choose,
For very mediocre price,
Prime bits, by connoisseurs dubb'd nice.
To parent now the son let's add,
Of ancient lore, impostor lad ,

103

Who guilty was—accursed sin,
Of taking all the old ones in!
A crime I swear to pardon never,
Or even grant the forger clever;
Who, spite of all his shrewd research,
Was left by Scotchman in the lurch;
Collection culling as he pleas'd,
Whereby the would-be bard was eas'd;
Who found in time of money's dearth,
He scarce had shar'd one-tenth its worth.
In due succession H---rd---g next,
Enrols his name upon my text,
An inoffensive simple man,
As e'er race Chalcographian ran;

104

Who now 'neath Windsor's shade serene,
From strife secure guards stores of queen;
So there with fat of land content,
In peaceful joys his hours are spent:
But did he choose to speak—alack!
He might tell tales of Will and Jack:
A string of evidence make clear,
Respecting plates that grace Shakespeare;
On Dryden's folio dwell with pain,
And Life's Œconomy explain;
Speak as to fables sweet of Flora,
And long descant on Leonora;
Whose choice designs made all remark,
The genius of dame Di--- Beauclerk .

105

To these I might add proofs still more,
Showing how some can heap a store;
But fleeting Time forbids delay,
Wherefore to reader I'll display,
Of some the names who shar'd Scotch treats,
Poor gulls that now know northern feats;
Whose goods and chattels were impress'd,
To feather our printseller's nest.
With S---l---d march hand in hand
D---y , All---n :—sage departed Br---nd,

106

And L---p---d; while now last to fame ,
Must ushered be arch C---lf---d's name,

107

Who, though expert, thus found a flogger,
And with him also pettifogger :

108

But soft the rein 'tis fit to check,
Lest Pegasus should break my neck;
So now I'll quit this northern bite,
And wing for kindred realm my flight.
Par nobile fratrum.
'Tis fact, though none could e'er believe,
A polish'd Tys---n could receive,
And prove himself so wond'rous silly
To entertain a Scottish Billy;

109

Printseller, who if aught that's mean,
On countenance e'er yet was seen,
Lavater's page would verify,
And give to sceptics all the lie:
A downcast look, where reigns complete
The Janus symbol of deceit:
An eye that always looks askance,
Afraid to meet the manly glance;
A tongue well oil'd with flatt'ry's juice,
Subservient to each fawning use,
That can converted be to self,
The universal object—pelf:
O! shame that men of worth can thus
Descend to herd with grov'ling sus!

110

Yet strange to tell, these facts appear
Full oft in Chalcographian sphere;
Though dealers prove with Bill on par,
Who 'gainst plain English wages war,
No single rule of grammar knowing,
Vulgarity from tongue fast flowing:
As for his breeding—under banners
Of swine he marches—void of manners;
The sum of all his race—mere funning,
Back'd by sheer impudence and cunning.

111

Of sloven fame, with paws as black
As kettle or the chimney's back,
Experienced C---lf---d now appears,
Whom Catalogus much reveres.
Nor is there Chalcographian sage
Than him more vers'd in Granger's page;
Or better knows old portrait's price,
And fram'd to give the best advice ;
His acumen hath oft outrun
The trade combin'd and deep onesdone :

112

Who furious have revil'd the act,
Whereas the very self same fact
Themselves had practis'd, had the sconce
Been stor'd sufficient for the nonce.
As for his acts and person too,
Naught brings him stronger to the view,
Than subject which his brain engross'd,
Of noted Characters—queer host,
Of whom he well might rank the Chief,
And of said book grace foremost leaf.

113

Sarcastic C---r---m next is seen,
The former's friend,—with visage keen;
He's slow of speech, but wond'rous dry ,
And seldom shoots his shaft awry:

114

'Twas he increas'd a Townley's store ,
Whose loss the Muse must here deplore,
Whose valued friendship long was mine,
Whose breast contain'd an heart benign;
Whose lib'ral hand ne'er fail'd to bless
The pining victims of distress:

115

From earthly realms for ever fled,
Immers'd in mansions of the dead,
Bless'd shade farewell!------
------
------Soft pensive Muse,
'Tis fit my verse should here infuse
Our C---r---m's Chalcographian worth,
Whose mind of talent shows no dearth ;
But what he has he'll keep, 'tis plain,
Since none could ever pump his brain;

116

Well studied in the Cynic school,
He's govern'd by this sterling rule ,
That all men are sheer knaves by custom,
So he ne'er deems it safe to trust 'em.
With hands and face begrim'd with dirt,
With dusty coat and greasy shirt,
With one shoe off and one shoe on ,
Appears friend J---ff---ry, noted Don;

117

Whose filth our Catalogus cries:—
“Is print Erugo—matchless prize!”
This Chalcographian manners boasts
Of pigs that rule in sties the roasts .

118

Still ne'ertheless most polish'd men
Repair to his Augean den,
Which proves of itch the just reflector,
That lords the soul of each collector.
Yet spite of dirt and want of breeding,
Friend J---ff---ry boasts no dearth of reading;
His mind acute knows business well ,
Wherefore on theme no more to dwell,

119

I'll close my subject in a trice,
By giving him this good advice:
Make friends with water: clean shirt show,
Since dirt, good Sir, is Sense's foe.
Now ere I tune to some the ditty,
In plodding regions of the city;
All hail St. Giles's P---t---r Br---wne!
Great cabbage-merchant of our town,
For paintings noted, prints, and ballads,
Potatoes, onions, greens, and sallads!

120

Who some thought would have journey'd far,
Till safe escap'd Old B---ly Bar ;

121

This dull deaf Proteus of the trade,
Hath Crœsus' laws so well obey'd;
As now good competence to boast,
Well known by our printselling host,
Who oft by Auctioneer hard press'd,
Their lots to clear,—have Br---wne address'd,
And for their bills with tender'd fee,
Have discount got to set prints free .

122

To these I might the names inscribe,
Of grov'ling venders—wretched tribe;
Such as appears in M---id---n-lane,
Where B---go holds his greasy reign:
Or sloven P---rs---ns reft of wits,
Old Gr---n and son oft ta'en with fits
Of preaching methodism rank;
G---rge H---rd---ng fam'd for artful prank:
And him whose folly I reveal,
C---ry, who though well known to deal
Of false pride bound by silly spells,
Would have it thought he never sells .

123

Another race might here be nam'd,
Were not the modest Muse asham'd;

124

Whose minds by vicious thoughts deprav'd,
With prints disgusting are enslav'd;
While others bear the bestial store,
To foul pollution's deadly door.
Such names the poet will not trace ,
But stamp them of corruption's race;

125

Wherefore I'll fly the bestial den,
To greet once more the haunts of men.
In Row far fam'd call'd Pater-Noster,
Where genius some pretend to foster,
Who bowels of compassion show,
Like Tigers warm'd with fury's glow,
My Muse alights to tune the strain,
And note imperial L---ngm---n's reign;
Who ranks of publishers the first,
Back'd by old stager—honest H---rst;
While R---s, now free from western storm,
Drinks hob-a-nob with Br---wn and Orm---.
This hydra-firm of hot-press fame,
Not satisfied with modern game,
Of books antique, true pedagogues,
Have issu'd high-priz'd Catalogues;
And last of all the steps to mount
Of Chalcography, famous fount,

126

They sell works ready illustrated ,
That minds rapacious may be sated;
Wherefore of Cits without denial,
This is the grand collector's dial,
By Chalcographian rays supplied,
Pictorial works all cut and dried.
So gracious city heroes now,
I wish ye well, and make my bow.
Now last of this third flight partaker,
Must stand recorded D---rt---n, quaker;

127

By Catalogus oft attended,
And with his cash alike befriended;
Who profits once from Granger got,
Six hundred pounds to boil the pot ,
When thinking ev'ry Granger wou'd,
Illustrated, prove just as good;
He tried deep speculation new,
Which soon he had good cause to rue;

128

Losing by second just as much
As fate by former bade him clutch;
Thus, like the hound, when passing brook
With meat in jaws,—resolv'd to hook
The same reflected in the stream,
He lost the substance for the dream:
So hungry D---rt---n glutton still,
Conceiving fortune slave at will;
Devoid of knowledge, stake let fall,
And, fool-like, thus was chous'd of all!
 

Senior Gr---v---s, who has now been dead many years, was one of the oldest hunters after portraits and Chalcographimanian specimens, beginning this research at a period when there existed scarcely any competitors; wherefore, although he lived to witness the most extraordinary rise in the value of engravings, could he now be taken from his tomb, I really conceive that he would hardly credit his senses.

Whensoever merit demands the meed of praise, far be it from me to withhold the due encomium which cannot possibly be enrolled at a more fitting period than the present; since this dealer most indubitably possesses true Chalcographian knowledge; nor let me in this place forget [although unknown] to acknowledge the many obligations which I owe to the personage in question, for the sterling advice he has given me during the prosecution of my own collecting mania.

By the F---th---rg---ll collection, Th---ne realized a fortune, and he will take especial good care that it shall not slip out of his fingers; independent of his pursuit after portraits, &c. he is a fancier of Autographs, many specimens of which, accompanied by portraits, have been given to the collecting world; in addition to which he has to boast no very trifling store of medals, that engross his thoughts equally with the above-mentioned researches.

When necessity has compelled me to visit the shop of this whining canting dealer, I have with infinite difficulty refrained from giving vent to my risible faculties, as he literally is the very epitome of discontent; penury, poverty, and want, being always at the tip of his tongue. If we regard him as acting upon the principle of an Elwes or Daniel Dancer, we behold him creeping to the most remote parts of the town, in order to purchase a loaf, because he can get it a farthing cheaper than in his own neighbourhood, while the same is conveyed home in a dirty, snuffy pocket handkerchief. On the score of S---mc---'s veracity, I can only affirm that I have heard him when in his shop declare to some stranger who called for payment of a bill, that by his Saviour he was not at that time worth a dollar, when I myself ten minutes before had paid him pounds for a lot of prints, and upon the death of an old servant maid, it was whispered that a subscription would be of great utility in defraying the charge of her interment, which however was conducted in a way that gave evident proof very little expence was resorted to. Some years back a ludicrous circumstance occurred to this dealer. Having an appointment with a gentleman at a particular hour, he was repairing to the spot with a portfolio under his arm, when happening to pass by a little book stall, he saw put up in the window for sale a very scarce old volume, the label upon the same purporting that it was to be sold for sixpence: on knocking at the door however, no one proved to be at home; what therefore was to be done? he durst not disappoint one of his best customers, and to leave the book to the chance of another collector passing by, was death to his fondest hopes. Thus critically situated, creative fancy, on the spur, suddenly put it into his head to break the pane of glass, which in the furor of the moment he was on the point of executing, but the dread of consequences checked his hand, when at that moment the window-shutter struck his regard, which he actually raised and placed before the window, to hide the book in question.

So many circumstances might be adduced of prints formerly rarissimo. becoming a drug, in consequence of the original coppers being discovered, that it would be superfluous to enumerate any one instance in particular. The multiplication of impressions however has only occurred where the plates have got into the hands of greenhorns, as your more experienced dealers, like our S---mc---, make a point of ekeing them out with infinite caution, after gracing the impressions with all the sacred ærugo of Chalcographian antiquity. In order to prevent such a circumstance as this from ever taking place, we have a living instance in the person of a grocer who hangs out the sugar-loaf in Dean-street, and has actually caused three plates of himself to be engraved; One an whole length, from which he has only struck off half a dozen impressions, and then destroyed the plates, in order to confer the title of extra rare upon these delineations of his sugar-plumb countenance.—Credite posteri!!!

M---lt---n---'s next step to honour and printselling fame was filling the envied post of foot-boy to Th---ne and T---rr., whose boots and shoes experienced the efficacy of his manual labours. Under such experienced Chalcographians, it is consequently little to be wondered at that this personage should imbibe the divine cacoëthes, which by progressive gradations has exalted him to the present acme of his greatness.

This assertion will become manifest when I acquaint my reader that our vender caused a drawing to be made by Bettilini, of the carrotty headed young master M---lt---no, which was afterwards engraved and published. Upon the first appearance of the print in question, a nobleman chanced to enter our dealer's shop, when seeing the portrait upon the counter, he exclaimed: “What d---d ugly little wretch have you got here, M---lt---no?” to which the latter, quite abashed, replied, “It is my Son, my Lord!” This brings to my recollection the anecdote of a gentleman at the Theatre, being seated next to Lord North, with whose person he was unacquainted, and of whom he enquired, after some preliminary conversation, the name of a lady sitting on the opposite side of the house, adding, that she was the ugliest woman he ever beheld—“That,” replied his lordship, “is my sister, Sir.” Confounded at the error he had committed, the interrogator stammering, exclaimed, “I do not mean that lady, but the one seated next to her.” “Oh!” answered Lord North, smiling, “That, Sir, is my wife, and we are esteemed the ugliest couple in England.”

M---lt---no and C---l---g---i were originally partners, but the instant the partnership was dissolved, M---lt---no became the purchaser of a very valuable collection, that laid the foundation of his fortune. I had nearly omitted to mention the conduct of Mr. D---nt, M. P. who one day entered the shop of M---lt---no in a towering rage, upon which occasion he abused this print-vender in the most violent manner, because our poor Chalcographian has exposed in his window a portrait of Bonaparte for sale, having placed the same by the side of a fine print of our Saviour.

I have been credibly informed that C---l---g---i's debut on the London pavée was in the character of a rat-catcher; but as to his early connection with Chalcography, I am not enabled to afford my readers any insight into the subject. While engaged on the topic of this Chalcographian vender, I cannot help noticing the licence granted to foreigners to import and export prints, which might equally facilitate the conveyance of political information to our enemies. Prompted by my partiality for the arts, I repaired as well as others to the shop of C---l---g---i, to inspect the highly extolled print of the Gallic Emperor, an impression of which was purchased by the Prince Regent, when in lieu of finding it the ne plus ultra of engraving, I will venture to affirm that it is not equal to the efforts of our Heath or Sharp. The impression is fine, and the paper and ink excellent, and to those essential requisites it stands indebted for its beauty.

No subject deserves more pointedly the corrective hand of satire than this shameful predilection of the Great for persons of foreign extraction, while English talent is left to weather the bitterest storms of neglect and adverse fortune. Take the whole circuit of our nobility, nay, even commence with the ramifications from R---ty itself, and you will find that our very P---es are the abettors of this partiality. One would really imagine that the affair of Sellis and the Duke of Cumberland would have afforded a wholesome and corrective lesson; but the evil still exists, to the lasting shame of the present æra, and the degradation of that national feeling, which was the boasted, pride of our patriotic ancestors.

I should like to ascertain the cause of this cacoëthes for foreign attendants; for my part there is a fawning sycophancy, an inexpressible something about Italians, and Frenchmen in particular, that always excites in my breast an unconquerable feeling of aversion: not to lay any stress on the acknowledged predilection of the former for a vice abhorrent to human nature. Englishmen, on the contrary, possess a manly independence, which scorns to have recourse to mean servility in attending their employers; and it is this characteristic which renders them in my estimation the fittest domestics for their generous countrymen.

I am told there is not a sum of money which could be demanded in reason that would not be given by C---l---g---i, if the prohibitions upon him as an alien could be removed.

St---c--- has by some means or other wriggled himself into the good graces of the Great, who no doubt serve his purpose admirably. One very happy step towards this enviable exaltation, was and is the knack of christening any nameless print or picture that may chance to be in the possession of a customer; thus rendering it either serviceable in illustrating, or affording some artist a job by having it engraved pro bono publico.

This print, which is engraved from a picture that resembled as much the bard of Avon, as Ben Jonson or Joe Miller, was puffed off in the newspapers and advertised with a confidence à la St---c---, that nothing could surpass. From the very first moment that I saw the painting in the possessor's hands, I pronounced it spurious, notwithstanding I was told to my infinite astonishment, that the correct and able judging Mr. D---ce, had not only given it his sanction, but honoured the list of subscribers by inserting his name: how far this gentleman may still continue in the same mind, I am not precisely enabled to state, but I rather apprehend his faith is much shaken. That St---c---'s grand object was however answered, there can be little doubt, for profit after all, is the Chalcographian vender's primum mobile.

Since penning the above note, I have called to my remembrance another portrait, said to be an original likeness of our bard when a young man, which was offered to view at the shop of C---l---g---, and is the property I understand of a Mr. P---rry, who has a taste for design, having executed drawings of several mendicant characters and others, eighteen of which are etched by an artist of the name of Van Assen, who seems to follow the style of Callot with no ability. Each of these portraits is accompanied by a short biographical sketch of the individual, one of which is particularly curious, viz. the likeness of Cardozo, a dwarf from Portugal, who was made a public spectacle during three days only, being sent to his native country at the expiration of that short term by order of the Portuguese ambassador. This extraordinary diminutive personage could only be paralleled by Count Borulawski, who some years back exhibited himself in the Strand, combining with great affability the manners of the most polished courtier. A few of these etchings were pirated by D---rt---n, son of the printseller of that name, who was however compelled to stop the sale of the impressions by the possessor of the plates in question, which doubtless grace the collection of B---r---n D---ms---le, whose mania consists in procuring portraits of people of every description.

Some years back an old head, exhibited at the European Museum, and belonging to a Mr. Felton, which was merely part of a picture, was boldly pronounced to be the original of Droeshout's engraving, affixed to the folio of Shakespeare's plays; whereas it precisely resembles a snuff-taking German. From this identical painting, however, R---ch---rds---n caused three different sized plates to be executed, which were, I believe, sanctioned by numerous subscribers; but whether to an extent that left much profit in the printseller's hands, I will not take upon myself to determine. While upon this topic, let not Sir Richard Phillips's whole length picture of Chaucer be forgotten, of which an engraving is affixed to Godwin's life of that poet.

From naught take naught and what remains?
The store that's lodg'd in St---c---'s brains.

At the epoch alluded to H---rb---rt was a very young man, and had just come into possession of all the rare typographical stores of his uncle, residing at Cheshunt, in Hertfordshire, which had originally constituted the library of Am---s. From this ample collection the hero of my tale procured fine pickings by way of exchange, and part money, &c. for while any thing remained J---hnny proved

Non missura cutem nisi plena cruoris hirudo.

Two individuals of the same name have written upon the subject of Hogarth, John and Samuel Ir---l---nd; the latter is however the personage above alluded to, who was no less fam'd with connoisseurs for his several volumes of Picturesque Views, than the ever memorable folio of Shakespearian relics. The pursuit after Hogarth's works was in much greater repute some years back, than at the present period: there are not however wanting individuals who still cherish every effort of this satirical artist, and among them no collector is perhaps possessed of greater rarities than Mr. Vincent, who was many years the friend and companion of Hogart, until the sarcasm of Churchill, combined with other circumstances, deprived the world of his inimitable powers.

Having before adverted to the flagrant imposture palmed upon the world by the pseudo stores of this fabricator, I shall no longer harp upon the same string, but dismiss him with a query from Virgil,

Et credis cineres curare sepultos?

N---d H---rd---ng, formerly residing in Pall Mall, but now snugly immured in the vicinity of Frogmore, was the publisher of all the works cited above, no inconsiderable portion of which were procured by the S---tt's for b---k---d---g, &c. as Mr. D---y the p---wnbr---k---r of S---t M---rt---n's Lane can testify, even to the present hour.

Mr. S---th---rl---nd the collector, who was an excellent customer of S---tt's, was requited for all his favours by the latter procuring the loan of some hundreds, not a farthing of which will ever be remunerated.

Mr. D---y the p---wnbr---k---r, who is bitten with a bookmania, was in the habit of lending our northern hero large sums of money upon works which, however profitable for a long period of time, proved at last a very losing concern. This knight of the golden balls was left guardian to the daughter of an opposite cheesemonger, who had, very justly, the highest opinion of his integrity, with the care of her fortune, of £30,000.

All---n the br---w---r, who may just as well be termed a dealer as a collector, advanced many sums in support of the N---bl--- A---th---r's, under the full conviction of gaining a good per centage; but in this hope he was wofully disappointed, nearly as much, as when he tried in vain to match the Prince of Wales's famous horse, and has now given up, not only the idea of interest, but all Hopes of the principal.

I cannot conclude my remarks on this personage without making mention of the deceased John Egerton's opinion of his character, and that of old F---ld---r, which was as follows: that All---n would not scruple to --- a church, but that F---ld---r would accept a poor child's bread and butter

Br---nd, who like the late A---th---ny St---r---r, and the living Mr. W---st---n, would poke into every hole and corner to procure prints at a mediocre price, was called upon to forfeit £500. for non-residence, which sum he was unable to pay, and therefore thought fit to employ our J---hnny to strip his Granger of all its rarities, in order to raise money by selling the prints in private. Of these Chalcographian curiosities Mr. S---th---rl---nd became a great purchaser at enormous prices, thereby leaving a decent profit to the wily vender.

The above personage is a paper-merchant, who would very willingly resign all claim to his debt for one pound weight of old rags.

As desperate persons are usually in league with characters of a similar stamp, it is not at all surprising that J---ky should have recourse to lawyers of such a description as W---, &c.; but that he should possess the art of over-reaching them is no less wonderful than true. One attorney however, named B---xt---n, a young man of the best character, has to enrol his name with the rest upon the losing score, owing to the confidence which he placed in the assertions of his inveigler.

Our northern dealer, without any invitation, as I understand, had the daring effrontery to present himself some few years back, at the country seat of the above gentleman, whose urbanity alone, as I conjecture, led him to tolerate his presence: for as to his breeding, erudition, or any one concomitant requisite for the formation of a gentleman, he is totally divested of them, while his countenance, person, and manners, are the just types of meanness, vulgarity, and inelegance.

In addition to his other qualifications, this bookbinder informs the trade, with a vast deal of consequence, that he has many rarissimo prints, but that he is so fearful of fire, that he has deposited them in the hands of a banker, for security against that destructive element; now this statement may in a certain degree be correct, if in place of banker we insert the words pawnbroker, as in all probability in imitation of his brother, such scarce specimens of Chalcography are in durance vile at the Golden Ball Repository in S---t M---rt---n's Lane.

The personage now before us has for many years back made portraits in particular his constant study, nor is there in the whole trade a mind better stored with this branch of the Chalcographian art. In the course of C---d's career, many fortunate windfalls have occurred, and so many rare and valuable prints have not perhaps passed through the hands of any other individual; one failing however he has displayed, which is, the suffering them to pass into other collections, without reaping their real value.

I could enumerate several instances where dealers, who arrogated to themselves great knowledge of prints, have been completely outwitted by the above personage, upon which occasions the most unqualified abuse has been lavished upon him. These revilers, at the same time forget, that their own consciences would willingly have sustained the burthen thus heaped upon his, had they been possessed of acumen equal to the task of circumventing him upon similar occasions.

C---lf---ld has displayed no small share of judgment in his literary efforts. The publication of his Remarkable Characters, which is now completed by Mr. Kirby, (the publisher of the Wonderful Museum in a series of volumes, is a sufficient proof that his efforts in delineating biographical sketches are very far above mediocrity, added to which he is extremely fortunate in selecting subjects likely to arrest public attention. If we consider the general conduct of this Chalcographian, few individuals can lay claim to greater oddity; and in regard to his costume, it would be sacrilege either to brush his coat or clean his shoes: in short, negligence is the predominant feature of his character.

C---r---m some years back sustained the loss of his collection by fire, and having dropped his insurance, the event fell the heavier upon him; this calamity however he sustained with manly fortitude, and by perseverance and integrity of conduct in all his dealings, he is endeavouring to retrieve his loss. I have frequently stationed myself beside this individual at sales, in order to converse with him, when I have found his judgment acute and his remarks upon men and manners delivered with that species of sarcasm, for which he is particularly noticed. I cannot refrain from adding, that his relationship to that great philanthropist Thomas Coram, through whose means the Foundling Hospital was established, should have entitled him to the consideration of the persons who are at the head of that wealthy establishment.

Many years C---r---m and C---lf---d, having conjointly illustrated a Granger, sold it to M--- F---nn---r---u, whom they supplied with prints, until that gentleman, wearied with the collecting mania, sold his specimens at King's auction room. But the best customer of the person who under review was the late Mr. Townley, who, although gifted with a refinement of taste in every branch of science and literature, was still possessed of a more inestimable gem—the noble and feeling qualifications of a heart that conferred honour upon the title of man.

I conceive that I am not infringing upon the dictates of veracity, when I place this individual upon a par with C---lf---ld and young Gr---v---s, and with regard to his knowledge of costume, a gentleman, upon whose judgment I can rely, has more than once assured me that he conceives C---r---m is as well, if not better versed in the subject in question, than any individual connected with Chalcographian research.

Οι πλειονες κακοι.

Whether J---y has ever thought proper in his absent fits to go barefoot, I cannot for a certainty say, but I will venture to affirm, that he has paraded the streets on the Sabbath in a blue mottled stocking and a white one, upon which occasion he called upon a person, who desired his maid to see what individual was at the door: when the servant going into the area, and two legs differently arrayed meeting her regard, she informed her master there were two persons. In respect to this dealer's dirty appearance, the following characteristic anecdote may be depended on. J---y was in the constant habit of frequenting a public house in Castle Street, Leicester Fields. Being there on St. Patrick's day, the company present, and our printseller among the rest, had been jeering Pat about his shamrock, when the Hibernian turning to J---y, exclaimed, “By Jasus, now I would advise that every Englishman, in order to identify his country, should appear in a clean shirt.”

Mr. T---rn---y, the member of parliament, had for some reason or other given offence, in his public capacity to J---y, who happened to meet him in company with L---d Sp---nc---r when walking along Pall Mall. J---ff---ry marching up to this nobleman, enquired how his Lordship could think of keeping company with such a b---kg---d. Indeed, so abusive was our dealer, that Mr. T---y was obliged to take J---y before a magistrate, when he was bound over to keep the peace.

As a Bibliomanian, few dealers surpass J---ffr---y in knowledge, whereas his research into Chalcography is very circumscribed. I have however enrolled his name among printsellers, in consequence of the illustrated Clarendon, which he some years back disposed of by raffle, on which occasion the prize fell to the present Duke of Gl---c---st---r, who possesses no taste for this mania. As however the name of this r---l personage emblazons my page, it may not be amiss to inform the public, that when his H---gh---ss was in Russia, two noblemen of that country were politely assiduous in their attendance upon him, for which conduct, on leaving the north, he very munificently presented the one with a watch, value five pounds, while the other was honoured with a mezzotinto portrait of himself, value seven shillings, which princely presents are now displayed in that country as a specimen of the generosity of an English descendant of the blood r---y---l.

This monarch of sallads may be termed an universal trader, as he will with one hand serve out a cabbage, and with the other present his customer with a print or oil picture. As to judgment he can boast as much as falls to the lot of a turnip or a potatoe, notwithstanding which he is worth no trifling sum of money. The following anecdote, however, will serve as a specimen of this acumen. Some years back he purchased of one Aldr---dg---, a low print-vender, then resident under the Piazza of Covent Garden, an impression of Hollar's rare print, representing a whole length of Francis Battalia, the stone-eater, copied in C---lf---ld's Remarkable Characters. For this print Peter gave sixpence, and afterwards resold it to young Gr---v---s for four shillings, whereas it was worth about as many guineas. This circumstance being made public, the fact came to Aldr---dg---'s ears; wherefore the next time Br---wne went into his shop, the wife of the Piazza printseller, who was a complete termagant, exasperated that her husband should have thus undersold his property, ran out with a kettle full of scalding water, swearing that she would throw it over our cabbage hero, for having cheated her caro sposo, nor would she have failed in effecting her purpose, had not Peter taken to his heels, and run off with all the expedition possible,

Several copies of the History of Westminster, published by Ackermann of the Strand, at fifteen guineas, were purchased by Br---wne, of a shopman of the former trader, at the reduced sum of five pounds; in consequence of which Ackermann, upon ascertaining the fact, discovered that the copies in question had been purloined by his servant; wherefore he indicted Peter as a receiver of goods, knowing them to be stolen, for which offence Br---n--- was tried, but acquitted.

Several printsellers, who carry their heads very high, have not scrupled, when hard pressed, to raise cash by getting their promissory notes discounted; upon which occasion P---t---r has no doubt taken good care to get a handsome douceur for his advance of the ready.

B---go is proverbial for dirt and grease, as no print, however clean when purchased by him, is again issued from the shop without bearing marks of filth. P---rs---ns, from his oddity of manner in fancying he has no inside, is by his brethren of the trade esteemed to be non compos mentis. The Gr---ns, senior and junior, may be heard every Sabbath-day ranting forth their methodistical trash to congregations just as enlightened and green as themselves. The father, prior to his embarking as a printseller in W---lls Street, used to handle the tremendous cook-shop carving knife, being a vender of boiled beef and plum-pudding. G---rge H---rd---ng, who buys and sells, thinks himself a monstrous clever artist; the use however which he makes of his talents at drawing is as follows: C---lf---ld having found out a Mrs. Aberdeen, who is the last descendant of the Cæsar family, and possesses many of their old portraits, procured permission to have them copied, being desirous of getting them engraved and brought out in a volume, accompanied with biographical sketches. The artist employed upon this occasion was H---rd---ng, who, unknown to C---lf---ld, made duplicate and triplicate drawings, which he surreptitiously disposed of to S---th---rl---nd and other gentlemen. C---r---y, though an itinerant printseller, parading the country with a portfolio, and knocking at every door, is, notwithstanding, so ridiculously conceited, that he would fain have it believed he is no vender, but a gentleman collector. To these specimens of dirty insignificant Chalcographians we might add H---rb---rt, formerly prompter of the Circus, who wrote an account of L---mb---th palace, and also published his L---nd---na, having gleaned his knowledge from C---lf---ld.

A variety of names might be enrolled as illustrative of this disgusting propensity, but from feelings of delicacy, the writer refrains from giving them publicity. Nor is it at all unfrequent to find in the library drawers of deceased persons of titled as well as plebeian rank, books and engravings of the most shameless description, whereas the late possessors were supposed during life to have nothing but the fear of God before their eyes.

This firm, which is unquestionably the greatest in England, has been attacked with the Chalcographimania and Bibliomania, in addition to the immense traffic carried on in modern literature. Though publishers in general are very far from being liberal to Poetasters, it must be confessed that in some instances these gentlemen have not proved themselves penurious, witness W---lt---r Sc---tt, whose prolific Muse has received ample recompence for her Pegasian flights.

D---rt---n and H---rv---y were the purchasers of the M---rq---is of D---n---g---l's Granger, which they cut to pieces, selling the portraits separately, and thus realized upwards of six hundred pounds profit. Flushed with this good fortune, and ignorantly conceiving that all illustrated Grangers would prove equally beneficial, they soon after bought another at Robins's auction room, which was made up by W---ll---m Sc---tt, and had belonged to Mr. Garrick, nephew of the great performer, when lo! on disposing of the pictorial work in question, a larger sum was lost by this second speculation, than was realized by the former purchase.

END OF BOOK THE THIRD.

131

BOOK THE FOURTH.

Ille sinistrorsum, hic dextrorsum, unus utrique
Error, sed variis illudit partibus omnes.
HOR.

One steers to right, and to the left another,
By Folly led, each ranks his neighbour's brother.

CHALCOGRAPHIMANIANS.

From those who cater for each buyer,
The Muse shall wing her flight still higher,
And on page Chalcographian trace,
Those names renown'd assuming place
In sage Collectors envied band,
Where Catalogus takes his stand.

132

First in the ranks our nation's queen ,
A Chalcographian dame is seen,
Yet though she buys is always wary,
Of precious money passing chary.
Eliza, Britain's princess too ,
Stands register'd among my crew:

133

Of prints she boasts full many lots,
And shows whole legions of tea-pots,
And daily would add more and more,
Had she of cash sufficient store.
And thou departed Br---nd appear ,
To add fresh lustre to my sphere,
Thou who alike would'st buy and sell,
As Catalogus knows full well.

134

Come let me lead thee by the hand,
From Gow'r Street noted S---th---l---nd ,
Where lost in Chalcographian cares,
Thy mind forgets rough Russian Bears,
Of which as chief thou mak'st an halt,
For porridge gaining stores of salt.
Next sapient B---ndl---y bearing stamp ,
For Chalcography naught can damp,

135

Come and illume my learned page,
Endowed with scientific rage;
For if experience e'er was known,
To rear in mind sound judgment's throne,
Thou may'st dominion justly claim,
And boast the blooming wreath of Fame.
D---dsw---ll with pain I now recall ,
Fell fate, that robb'd thee of thine all,
I mean those stores that fell a prey,
To raging fire's consuming sway,

136

Whose loss made Catalogus sigh,
While tears distill'd from either eye.
Stor'd with the reading of the schools,
Moves D---ce great chronicler of fools ,

137

And warm'd by Sp---nc---r kindred peer,
Behold his Gr---ce of D---sh---re ,

138

Who better merited commending,
While on collections thousands spending,

139

Than losing weighty sums at play,
With Y---m---th's Lord thus fool'd away.
Lo! hobbling B---ng quite antiquated ,
Long harbour mind infuriated,
Whene'er he hear of dainty food,
Black-letter tract with cut in wood;

140

Not so P---ge T---rn---r, baronet ,
Whom venders all gave direful sweat;
Printsellers fam'd, arch picture-dealers,
With other pickers fell, and stealers,
Who did on purse as furious pounce,
As on its prey remorseless Ounce,
Which plac'd him on repentance stool,
Wherefore he plays no more the fool.

141

Lord Oss---lt---n I now pen lays on ,
Who Grammont's history must emblazon;
That cit-like takes especial pride,
Procuring portraits in Cheap-side,
Or rather bearing stores away,
Ne'er thinking of due payment's day.
Great C---sw---y known by sirname Dick ,
Whose affectation makes men sick,

142

With confidence of Raphael, struts,
And leg in folly's mire oft puts;

143

As proud in sharing Bl---ndf---rd's nod,
As if the Marquis were a God.
His toil hath been to imitate,
A Rubens' style,—sublimely great,
Nay frenzy caus'd such mind's expansion,
He needs would buy the Antwerp mansion,
But dearth in purse the wish repelling,
Ejected Dicky from said dwelling.
What dame now lists my knight's professions,
'Tis B---nks, collector of processions ,

144

Sir J---s---h's, sister whose renown
Makes Catalogus low bend down,
And in true token of—“his duty,
“Honour the shadow of her shoe-tie.”
Now comes a niggard child of earth,
From Queen's Square, stingy H---ll---ngs---rth ,

145

Who spends as free in heaping store,
As Jew would give to Christian poor;
And hath a brain so passing fecund,
He knows First Charles preceded Second;
But as to vouching for aught more
On his research I close the door;
And while I thus wield probing pen,
On fam'd collectors acumen,

146

Some lines instructive here may tend,
To prove I labour to befriend
Mine hero, whom I now endite to,
And urg'd by common sense—thus write to.
 

Her Majesty is a collector for Granger, and possesses many valuable Chalcographian specimens. Her method of purchasing however is not after the manner of Catalogus, as the Queen, although fond of portraits, has no less an eye to the value of Mr. Hase's Threadneedle impressions. From a channel upon which I can rely, I have been informed that had not the present melancholy change occurred in the state of our gracious Monarch's mental sanity, it was his intention to have commenced collector, in which case, from the few purchases he had made, there is no doubt but that liberality would have characterized his conduct in the prosecution of this pursuit.

This Princess possesses all the spirit of collecting, and would willingly multiply her stores with increased celerity, did she possess in a greater degree the means of gratifying her predilection. In addition to prints, old china tea-pots, I have also been informed, constitute another hobby-horse of this distinguished personage, whose liberal spirit claims the sincere wish on my part that success may crown her utmost expectations.

The above clerical character, who was the dupe of J---y S---tt, as I have before noticed, began his collecting career at a very early period; consequently the rarest specimens of Chalcography passed through his hands. He was however mean in purchasing, and as complete a Print-Trader as any one who publicly professes himself a buyer and seller of such commodities.

Mr. S---n---d, who has of late figured prominently as an Illustrator of Clarendon and Burnet, is Pr---s---d---nt of the R---ss---n company. In purchasing however he has become cautious, having at the commencement of his mania been sufficiently bitten by the Scottish Tarantula.

This gentleman to whom I have dedicated my volume, is possessed of Chalcographian and Bibliomanian stores, which are perhaps unrivalled both for quantity and excellence in quality. On the score of sound judgment no collector will hesitate to allow him to possess unrivalled pre-eminence. The writer therefore cannot better wind up the present note, than by wishing him a long continuance of health to enjoy the collection which he has accumulated with so much industry and perseverance.

Since the fatal event above recorded, which robbed this officer of his superb collection, he seems to have relinquished all idea of recommencing Chalcographian. Should the mania however once more take place, I wish him success in the undertaking.

Mr. D---ce, who has long figured in the annals of collecting, has also rendered himself conspicuous in the literary world, by publishing the work referred to in the above line, and I have only to regret that my absence from England at the period when the work in question was preparing for the press, prevented me from giving Mr. D--- some information, which might have met his approbation. Perhaps even the loan of the unique cut of Will Summers, from which the plate accompanying the present volume is executed, would not have been inconsequential to Mr. D---e, as affording a complete specimen of the costume of that jester at the period of Henry the Eighth. I certainly have to regret that the pamphlet, which in all probability belonged to the print, does not accompany the plate in question. It is scarcely known that an original picture, painted upon the finest cambric, is now at Alihorpe, the seat of Earl Spencer, representing Henry the Eighth and Catherine of Arragon, with Will Summers the jester, appearing between them, which elating to the Fools of the Great, would have been applicable to Mr. D---s purpose. This gentleman is possessed of many very choice and valuable articles, particularly in old French literature; his conduct has uniformly displayed a correctness of judgment and the most refined taste, while his manners, though apparently reserved, evince every characteristic of the complete gentleman.

His grace, who purchased the B---p of E---y's library, as well as that of a foreign nobleman, is reported to have lost very heavy sums of L---d Y---th, a circumstance which created much astonishment in my mind, as I did imagine that this elevated nobleman would have spurned all association with a personage whose delight is to attend Milling-Matches and Cock-Fights, while his society consists of such individuals as L---d B---ym---e, the lately executed Slender Billy, Cribb Molineux, Gulley, and Bill Gibbons. As for the loss of his rib, formerly Mademoiselle F---n---ni, who was claimed by two fathers, and preferred the embraces of G---l J---n---t to those of her fiery-whiskered husband; his L---ds---p makes up for his loss by constantly attending Duke's Place, &c. where he finds all his desires gratified.

As I have made mention of Bill Gibbons, I will now, by way of exposing the degradation of our nobility, subjoin an anecdote which is absolutely a matter of fact: Gibbons having a dog which he wanted to shew to the M---q---s of H---nt---y, son of the D--- of G---rd---n and his late D---ke-catching D---ch---ss, called at the mansion, where he found two very respectable tradesmen attending in the hall. Bill, addressing one of the footmen, said, that he knew the Marquis was at home and wanted to see him, adding, that his name was Bill Gibbons. The tone and manner of this applicant being extremely flippant or kiddyish, the attendant hesitated, when Billy, who was not to be put off, continued thus: “Come, do you choose to go or not; for by G---d if you keep me waiting, D---me but I'll kick up a hell of a clatter in the house.” The footman accordingly went to his noble master, saying, that a man named Gibbons wanted to see him. “Mr. Gibbons, I suppose you mean,” replied his lordship, “show him up immediately.” Accordingly up went Bill, who told the M---rq---is what had happened in the hall, when—wonderful to relate—the nobleman ordered up his two attendants and discharged them: but, upon the intercession of Gibbons, they were replaced. Well may we exclaim, O tempora! O mores!

The H---nbl--- individual here mentioned, who was a Peer of the Realm, possessed a few such choice articles as The Paradise of Dainty Devices, and Walton's Angler, the best edition, with Lombart's plates, for the latter of which he never remembered to pay the dealer from whom he purchased it, so far back as the year 1798.

Our young B---r---n---l, who is not only litigious, but meanness personified, was some time back seized with a universal cacoëthes, at which period his hall was every day crowded with venders of birds, beasts, shells, armour, stained glass, pictures, prints, insects, reptiles, with a string of et cæteræ that would fill an atlas folio; but having been most completely imposed upon, and well knowing the value of money, he on a sudden closed his doors upon these harpies, who are thus debarred from plucking their dainty pigeon. Be it remembered however, that many of these Nicknackatarians are not paid to the present hour, while others are involved in law-suits for the procurement of their demands.

The peer in question, who is occupied in illustrating the Memoirs of Grammont during his residence in England at the period of Charles II. is renowned for leaving his name during a long period upon the ledgers of the printselling tribe. The cause of his lordship's predilection for the above work is said to be on account of his wife, who claims alliance with the Grammont family.

Mr. R---ch---rd C---sw---y, royally denominated Dirty Dicky, ranks bosom-friend with the son of the D---e of M---lb---gh, in proof of which our miniature-painter always fills the card-racks on either side of the chimney-piece with notes and cards penned by that noble personage. The mania of this artist is to possess impressions from all Rubens' performances; of which he has not unfrequently availed himself in making his own designs, and to such a pitch was this predilection carried, that he actually wanted to purchase the mansion at Antwerp, which that sublime painter inhabited, but was prevented for the cogent reason assigned on the opposite page. This however is not the only instance of Dicky's cacoëthes, whose eccentric brain, crammed with all the visionary chimeras of Jacob Behmen, Swedenborg, and other fantastic unravellers of fate, may well rank upon a par with Doctor Faustus of the Cheshire Nixon, so that he is little better than a Mother Shipton in male attire. As I have in this note treated upon the subject of particular predilections, I will again record the name of Mr. Samuel Ireland, who was devoted to the works of Hogarth and Mortimer, both oil paintings and drawings as well as prints: indeed so great was his collection of the first mentioned artist's productions, that he had only one competitor for the palm of victory, in the person of the old Earl of Exeter, who died prior to the last inheritor of that title.

This lady, who possesses an excellent disposition, has a taste for processions of every description, for which she is in the habit of paying very liberally; while another female collector is to be seen in the person of Mrs. Fl---xm---n, wife of the celebrated statuary, who is doatingly fond of every pictorial performance from the pencil of the justly celebrated Stothard.

Having made mention of a statuary, I will here record the name of G---h---g---n, the sculptor, who is bitten with the bust madness, which he has pursued with unparalleled avidity, not having modelled less than two hundred, nor be it forgotten that in hitting off likenesses, he is particularly fortunate, witness the Bust of Lord Nelson, who never sat to any artist but G---h---g---n, whom he attended seven times for that purpose, being most particularly anxious that every lineament should prove the precise type of its original.

Mr. H---th, who is in pursuit of choice specimens of Marc Antonio, and all the Italian artists, is guided in purchasing by the puffs that appear in the catalogues, his own judgment not being sufficient to detect a retouched impression, which he will purchase for a really fine one.

As I have been speaking of particular manias, that of collecting caricatures must not be neglected, the most masterly specimens of Chalcography having issued from the shop of Miss Humphries, in Saint James's Street, being the production of Gillwray's prolific genius, who might even rank in his line upon a par with Hogarth himself. The present unfortunate mental derangement of that artist, may consequently be regarded as a serious event in the annals of Caricature Collecting.

POET'S ADDRESS TO CATALOGUS.

Delpinum appingit sylvis, in fluctibus aprum. HORACE.

The Dolphin's form he paints in woods,
And shows the boar in ocean's floods.

Good Sir, I plainly now must speak,
For though mine hero—still I'll tweak.
Proboscis whensoe'er I please,
Since sugar-plums won't cure disease,

147

To learned Chalcographian band,
I now extend corrective hand,
For after conning o'er and o'er,
The extent of your mental store,
You prove e'en in your lov'd pursuit,
Like idiots, gaping all, and mute.
Perhaps at this you'll frown and flout,
And swear that facts can't bear me out,
But Truth subservient is at will,
To dose you with hard griping pill.
But to the point:—Show one Collector,
'Midst all your host that proves reflector,
And knows each foreign knight and sage,
That suits his illustrative page,
Unless beneath the name be writ,
Date, rank, and class, with all that's fit:
For me I've Grangers vast look'd o'er ,
Of Burnet seen stupendous store ,

148

Huge Pennants—Chalcographic dons ,
And Crowle's deem'd first of Clarendons,

149

With pain I then the laugh have check'd,
To view such men as should reflect,
Imperial hot-press'd paper grace,
With son's in lieu of daddy's face:
While vice versa, through life's run,
Papa hath stood in place of son.
Thus ere tie-wig grac'd napper dense,
I've grandson seen take precedence,
And stand for grandpapa, who wore
On sconce no wig, but nature's store.

150

In fine, Collectors, who presume,
All things to know, ne'er judge costume,
Each toils alone vast page to cover,
And rank a Chalcographian lover .
 

Among other illustrated volumes of this author, I cannot help enumerating Mr. Townley's in particular, whose rare specimens I have very frequently dwelt upon with infinite delight.

In S---r J---s L---k---s pictorial Burnet, among other egregious mistakes, which I did not note at the time it was offered for public inspection, I however particularly well remember remarking, that he had inserted the portrait of one Mainwaring, a physician, instead of the father who was a statesman.

Mr Cr---wl---'s Pennant, which was enriched from the materials of runaway T---mmy Th---mps---n, of Hebraic extraction, is, taking the tout ensemble, a passable specimen of illustration, though many insignificant prints are inserted which disgrace the pages. The Burnet and Clarendon of this collector have to boast numerous very rare specimens of Chalcography; but in these works, as in the above instance of S---r J---s L---k---'s blunder, there are the most flagrant errors: and in respect to the Infanta of Spain, mentioned by Pennant, I have ninety-nine times in the hundred seen a decorative portrait pasted opposite the page, which has no more to do with the lady whom Prince Charles was to have espoused, than I bear an affinity to the Great Kham of Tartary. Similar mistakes occur in the insertion of portraits of the Nassau family. I shall now close this subject by simply stating that in adverting to the character of the late Mr. Cr---wle, as a gentleman and a collector he was ostentatious, proud, and extremely mean in following up the Chalcographian pursuit, of which he was desirous of ranking the most heroic of champions.

Lord M---k K---rr, before mentioned, is possessed of an illustrated Bible, wherein is inserted, as I have been given to understand, an engraving of Magdalena Passe, being a representation from profane history of the Lycian Shepherds transformed into frogs for refusing water to Latona. This print however is placed opposite to the page which records the discovery of Moses in the bull-rushes by Pharoah's daughter. Being thus occupied on the topic of illustrated Bibles, I must not omit to reprehend in the most pointed terms, the loose and indecent prints that frequently appear as pictorial embellishments of holy writ, which are much more framed to grace the annals of a brothel, than stand recorded on the scriptural page.


151

THEATRICAL CACOETHES.

------ Unus utrique error
Sed variis illudit partibus.
HORACE.

Each mind the self-same error sways,
But mocks them all in different ways.

Now humbly treading in the shoes,
Of K---mble I must not refuse
To W---ldr---n place who doats on plays ,
That acted were in ancient days,

152

With portraits too of such as wore,
The sock and buskin heretofore:
As for his prowess on the stage,
He may possess some mental rage,
But hearing is a certain test
With sight—that proves his bad's the best;
For sov'reign nature hath denied,
That he should e'er expertly ride
His hobby:—strutting scenic god,
Wherefore he ranks a Thespian clod:
As Player thus the Author's brother,
Just skill'd in one, as well as t'other.

153

Mark L---chf---ld dashing quart and tierce ,
With love Shakesperian wond'rous fierce;

154

Who shares with Catalogus treat,
O'er prints theatric, when they meet;
And scribbles too—dear recreation,
For page of monthly publication:—
Nor be O! Muse, forgot the night
When in Third Richard's costume dight,
He did the arduous feat essay,
And ranted thus some hours away.
Wherefore let foes say what they can,
He ranks stage-bitten gentleman;
Like Coates theatric connoisseur,
Call'd Fashion's famous Amateur,
Who boasts from dames bound in his fillets,
A countless pile of tender billets ,

155

Which he unopened hoards to vex
Poor disappointed female sex.
With potent dose of L---chf---d's pill,
View Play-house Mirror, famous H---ll,
Who gorges on poetic lore
Of ancient date, and boasts a store
With prints conjoin'd; which aught impart
Descriptive of the Scenic art .

156

Of mimic pow'rs the chief now view,
Our Chaleographian course pursue,
M---th---ws collector of each print ,
That shows of Garrick's phiz the dint,
And folios eke intent to grace,
With prints that blazon scenic race:

157

Nor be the fam'd pursuit pass'd o'er,
Belov'd of Suett, now no more ,
Barbatics pride that made him crazy,
Old Caxon, Scratch, Tie, Bob, and Jazy,

158

Which Charles, like predecessor buys,
Esteeming each a wond'rous prize.
 

The Thespian now under review, has always evinced a desire to possess theatric curiosities, but the state of his purse has unfortunately damped his ardour. He was formerly a book-vender in Middle-row, and has presented himself to the public as a dramatic writer as well as player; but I am sorry it does not lie in my power to pass any encomium upon his poetry or performance. Notwithstanding this conclusive stricture, I really wish Mr. W---dr---n success in all his undertakings, as he is a quiet, inoffensive, and well-meaning man.

Ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius.

Mr. L---chf---ld, the friend of Messrs. B---d---n and H---ll, is said to be as well read in Shakespearian lore, as any of his renowned commentators; while his pen is monthly employed to blazon the pages of the Theatric Mirror. This gentleman, who purchases every thing relating to the stage, is frequently seen in the shop of play-vending B---rk---r, of Russell-street, in order to be in the vortex of dramatic literature; but the effect of his mania was never rendered so conspicuous as when he essayed the arduous part of Richard the Third, in which scenic attempt however he completely failed. It was owing to this circumstance that when at the masquerade a short time after, a gentleman present chancing to recognise Mr. L---chf---ld's person, accosted him in the following words:

“If Richard's fit to live, let Richmond fall;”

which appropriate exclamation so offended the would-be Roscius, that he not only wanted to see the face of the person in question, but also talked loudly of exchanging cards, a challenge, and so forth.

This conceited personage, who has enacted sufficient to entitle him to the appellation of f---l, so long as he shall continue to play his part in this world, has absolutely the vanity to boast that he has upwards of one thousand letters from the ladies, which he preserves unopened.—Query. If they continue sealed up, how can this connoisseur ascertain for a certainty that they are the productions of a female hand?

Our collector, editor, and play-goer, has weighty reasons and sterling arguments to account for his theatric mania, witness, Veluti in Speculum. Some years back when the heyday of the blood was more predominant than at present, Mr. H---ll no doubt remembers a tale that was current in the lobbies of Covent Garden and Drury Lane theatres, respecting a gentleman who went from the playhouse with a Cyprian, and remained at her lodgings till the ensuing morning, when in the place of leaving an Abraham Newland upon the dressing-table, the female votary of pleasure after the gentleman's departure, found the present to be no other than one of Gowland's Lotion bills, which bore a striking resemblance to a bank-note. This was thought a good hoax, but the expressive title of bilk continued long after to accompany the name of the person in question.

The extraordinary and versatile powers of this comedian do not stand in need of any panegyric, as it is quite sufficient to witness the exertion of his talents, which must command admiration. Under the guidance of C---r---m the printseller, as I have been informed, M---th---ws is forming a collection of theatricals, being particularly anxious to possess every thing relating to the inimitable Garrick.

The late Mr. Suett, the comedian, whose eccentricity and comic powers still live in the memory of the public, had collected a vast number of Old Wigs, which unfortunately were destroyed by fire, and among the rest was one of those appendages of the head, said to have belonged to King Charles II. which Suett bought at the sale of the effects of old Rawle, the antiquarian. As the theatrical powers of M---th---ws are of the broad comic cast, which was Suett's characteristic vein, the former, no doubt, actuated by a similar cacoëthes, has taken to the Wig Mania, since it is an old and received opinion that wits will jump. As I am upon the subject of an article appertaining to dress, I can do no other than candidly avow, that I should feel proud to possess the relics forwarded by order of the invincible Lord Nelson to Lady Hamilton which were the several articles of apparel in which he was habited when the fatal ball deprived that gallant admiral of his life, and the country of one of its bravest defenders.

PICTURE MANIA.

Animum pictura pascit inani.

'Tis fitting now we pass some strictures,
On such as boast a rage for pictures;
Who like friend Catalogus con
The page renown'd of Pilkington:
Wherefore sage leader of the van,
Comes St---ff---rd's Marquis, mighty man ,

159

Who had so strong the raging fit on,
To make election of one Br---t---n,
As register of pictures grand,
Though Painting he don't understand .
Next red-hot as a Salamander
View D---v---ds---n great Alexander ,

160

Renown'd Contractor, who will buy
Books, prints, and pictures, manfully;
With just such judgment as appears
To grace the creature with long ears.
Lo! next enacting bold his part,
Comes Bristol D---v---s, christ'ned Hart ,

161

State pillar sage as eyes can see,
That adds to name an M. and P.
A banker who in arts ranks shallow,
But famous judge of Russian tallow ;

162

Whose intellect burns just as bright,
As glimmer of a farthing light:

163

But all is one, for now you know,
'Tis money makes the mare to go.

164

Next fetter'd by pictorial spells
A R---v---sly comes, who buys and sells ,

165

Since e'en from noble, looking big,
To wearer of Right Reverend wig;

166

In spite of all each may profess,
He ranks true dealer, more or less.
Of modern school supporter fam'd
Must Leicester's Baronet be nam'd ,

167

Who well deserves the meed of praise,
Rewarding worth of modern days;
Such as by Stothard is possess'd,
A Wilkie, Beechy, or a West.
 

As the Marquis of Wellington ranks generalissimo on the Peninsula, even so does St---ff---rd's peer boast the title of commander-in-chief among the picture collectors of our island: nor can I in justice deny that many specimens in this nobleman's gallery are superlative examples of the graphic art.

Mr. Br---t---n, the publisher of some very choice specimens of architectural gothic remains, was elected Fellow of the Antiquarian Society, on account of his enthusiastic research, as I conjecture, into stone walls; for independently of their pictorial representation, I cannot divine a cause the nomination in question should have taken place. To the present personage also devolved the task of cataloguing the pictures of the last-mentioned nobleman: a labour he was in no respect capable of judiciously performing, having never been inducted to any refined knowledge of the graphic art.

This gentleman, who is immersed in the dunnest smoke of Bœotian ignorance, has nothing but money to recommend him: backed however by such a requisite auxiliary, he stands forward a great collector, purchasing at random, without either taste, judgment, or science.

Mr. H---t D---v---s, member of parliament, is deeply infected with the Picture Mania, which money, acquired in that emporium of ignorance, the city of Bristol, enabled him to indulge in its fullest extent.

Some years back this senatorial banker, realized £.40,000 in one day, by a lucky speculation in Russian tallow; but as I am now occupied upon the topic of a Bristolian lover of pictures, I cannot resist the desire of giving my reader the following poetical quotation from an unknown writer, as highly descriptive of the Bristol race, when considered under the head of the arts.

Of the arts I must speak, so at once to define,
A Bristol Apelles—behold but the sign
Of red rampant Lion, a Savage and Bell,
Their talents such daubs comprehensively tell;
While taste is display'd in a breach of those rules,
Which genius has sanction'd and use of the schools,
Here quantum of colours on pallet ne'er fail
To make Iris blush, and outvie peacock's tail;
The true line of beauty your optics can't trace,
In figures possessing no vestige of grace.
Whose outlines display—or I'm not a bard,
True emblems of adamant, tasteless, and hard.
O! artists of Somerset Place, prithee say,
Are such the aspirers to envied R. A.
Shall vestments of pinks, blues, and reds, nature shock,
Arraying each portrait, a true barber's block!
Shall faces of chalk and vermilion's hot glow,
Shall hands, precise models of pale lumpy dough,
In short, can endowments like these prefer claim,
To ought pictatorial, worthy of fame?
Or if at their landscapes a slight glance we take,
The trees are green brooms, and the skies all opake;
In lieu of the rivers transparently bright,
'Tis an expanse of azure, or one plane of white;
The villas all staring prove wond'rous defective
In that most essential of points—true perspective.
While cows, dogs, and horses, like sticks void of motion,
Of playthings from toyshop convey a just notion.
Cuyp, Waterloo, Wouvermans, Ruysdale, they scorn,
Poor souls, if in Bristol, they'd all pine forlorn;
Their just compositions no patrons would find,
Bristolians for nature possess not the mind;
When they part with their guineas they claim what is rare,
A Picture of Pictures, to make people stare,
Determin'd they'll get what is sterling for gold,
Their uniform practice I'll instant unfold:
To those tenets close sticking of Cocker profound,
They purchase no Pictures, but Paint by the pound!
O shame! Science droops while true artists deplore,
That Genius at Bristol does nothing but snore.
Yet ah! sons of lucre, tho' bound by the spell
Of ignorance black as the dun shades of hell,
Though Bœotia's dark Erebus hangs o'er your spheres,
Enshrouding your senses and eke asses ears,
In short tho' of painting ye deem yourselves judges,
Your knowledge in this at a snail's pace slow trudges,
Like glazier's as bright; who, for publican shows,
On shutter fine checkers in orderly rows.
Yet do not despair, friends, ye still boast a charm,
To kindle in painters a fire brisk and warm;
I mean not of genius the flame trite and old,
Extinguish'd in Bristol—I mean, Sirs, your gold;
Since lucre makes daubers clean canvass defile,
And paint not by yard or by ell—but the mile;
In fine they have sense to avow ye are ninnies,
And all that they crave is your guineas, your guineas;
Your gold they will have, they declare by the pallet,
And knock ye down, using the brush for the mallet;
That weapon tremendous which nothing withstands,
Making dull heads more dull, when design'd by such hands.
In brief it requires no small sense to decide,
Whether artist or cit is to sense most allied;
But of this I'm convinc'd none would ever aspire,
To say that conjoin'd they would set Thames on fire.
But now to discover their learning let's try,
A task mighty easy betwixt you and I;
There's no need to put nice research into fetters,
When lords of the fine arts do not know their letters;
In short I would wager what any dares lay,
In lieu of a C they'll spell College with K.

The reverend gentleman above quoted, as illustrative of my page, may be regarded as a private collector by such individuals as do not understand the meaning of the word dealer; but not being altogether a stranger to lexicography, I must certainly apply the above term to Mr. R---, who ranks a vender as well as Smart, Woodburn, or any other of the renowned canvass merchants. In addition to the specimens of Chalcographians, quoted in my poetic ledger, I must not omit to mention by way of addenda, Dog J---nn---ngs, who acquired this canine addition to his name from having purchased the celebrated antique of Alcibiades's mongrel for one thousand guineas. Mr. J---s, who is now about ninety years of age, continues infected with a cacoëthes of collecting any thing that is in opposition to what is possessed by others, wherefore it is merely necessary to say that the walking stick of Mr. Tompkins is made of ash, whereas the one offered him for sale is of elm, but he will instantly demand the price, and become the fortunate possessor. Nor let me forget the deceased W---lsh P---rt---r, so renowned for embellishing cottages, and whose taste was consulted in the arrangement of Carlton House. This gentleman not only collected for himself, but would undertake to store the mansions of others with pictures and antiques, and in short, was a complete Proteus, attuning his versatile taste to the wish of every new customer.

Sir John Leicester, to whom I may well apply the following couplet of Boileau:

La docte antiquité fut toujours venerable,
Je na la trouve pas cependant adorable,
Boileau.

Has in a very praiseworthy manner extended his aid to the living, by patronizing artists of the present era, of whose performances he has to boast a very choice collection. Being thus engaged on existing painters, I think it may not be unfair to designate Stothard the British Parmegiano; Wilkie, the Gerrard Dow; Beechy, the true delineator of nature; and West, the Poussin of England. With respect to the last mentioned artist's talents, too much encomium cannot be lavished upon his celebrated picture of Christ Healing the Sick, which performance, thanks to the Prince Regent, was prevented from being exported to America. Neither can I pass over in silence the late Mr. Barry, who, in order to refute the assertions of Zimmermann and the Abbé Dubois, (who have stated that the clouded and foggy atmosphere of England incapacitate our countrymen from excelling in the graphic art) produced a series of paintings, now preserved in the apartments of the Society for the Encouragement of Arts, &c. that would confer honour on the talents of the most sublime painters of antiquity.


168

NICNACKATARIAN MANIA.

Quot capitum vivunt, totidem studiorum
Millia.

Pursuits and passions on this earth we find,
Vary with increase of the human kind.

Thus having some rare samples shown,
Of persons to collecting prone,
Whether as hot as Cambrian Taffy,
In searching mines of Chalcography;
Or making purse at auction debtor,
For hoards of musty rare black letter;
And last the crew so passing bold,
In buying paintings scrubb'd and old ;

169

Some few alike must now be trac'd
Each gifted with a diff'rent taste :
So to commence:—Our R---g---nt Prince,
A wond'rous passion doth evince,
To guard in armoury, with care,
Types of old saddles militaire ;

170

While Charlotte too, with rapture dwells
On medals, coins, and precious shells ;
One, warm'd with fine harmonic glow,
Pays fifty pounds for Pamphilio,

171

And would stake hundreds, could he win,
A fam'd Cremona's violin .
Yet such oft prove but wretched scrapers:
Others will buy tobacco papers ,

172

Who ne'er once dreamt while quaffing swipes,
Of short-cut, and tobacco-pipes:
Samples we have of some, whose hopes
Concentrate in the hangman's ropes :

173

One rusty armour buys amain ,
Or painted window's shatter'd pane ;

174

The skins of birds, of beasts, and fishes ,
Cups, saucers, tea-pots, old Delft dishes ;

175

Whereto the bold pursuit let's add,
Of him that after wives was mad,

176

Who took arch Mahomet's advice;
For, where he treats of paradise,

177

He makes the charms of women—heav'n;
So Langford took of wives just seven ,
A number that might scare to death
The boldest Turk that ere drew breath.
Nor pass we by that shameless band,
Dispensing with a lib'ral hand,
Large sums, indecent books to buy,
And prints disgusting to the eye :

178

Witness from Duke of first degree,
E'en to old sporting Colonel T--- :
In fine, full many none suspect,
On themes like these alone reflect,
Disgracing thus the manly name,
And blazon'd sons of guilt and shame.
 

There is perhaps more quackery in picture dealing than in any other trade existing, as could be exemplified by Dermer, Woodburn, Quaker Smart, and a thousand other Graphimanians; for when we find Sallad-venders in Saint Giles's, and Cabbage-sellers in Covent Garden, pretend to a knowledge of painting, there is no affixing any boundary to this pictorial cacoëthes.

Mille hominum species et rerum discolor usus
Velle suum cuique est nec voto vivitur uno.

PERSIUS.

In the armoury at Carlton House, which is arranged with infinite taste, thee are several specimens of this equestrian accoutrement, in collecting samples of which the R---g---nt manifests a most unconquerable cacoëthes.

The P---s C---te has already embarked with great spirit in collecting the above-mentioned articles; nor is she less conversant with the old armour, respecting which the late Captain Grose was not more deeply skilled. For the shell mania, L---d T---nk---rv---lle is no less renowned: but all living personages of this description were surpassed by a collector of antiquity named Rumfius, who, although stone-blind, literally gave one thousand pounds sterling for a single shell. Of this individual there is a print extant, representing him in the art of handling the rare specimen in question. As the above couplets relate to royalty, it would be highly improper in me not to register the name of D---ch---s of Y---k, who has such a predilection for dogs, that she never goes out unattended by troops of those faithful animals; neither let me pass unrecorded the mental endowments of this personage, which are to my knowledge characterized by every sentiment of tenderness and philanthropy towards the distresses of the suffering and the poor.

Cremona, a town in Italy, was very famous for manufacturers of violins, the makers of which instruments were Amati, Straduarius, and Slyner, and some of those have been frequently sold for two hundred guineas each.

Independent of the instances above cited, the late Mr. Tighe was rendered conspicuous for collecting printed shop-bills, of which he possessed a countless hoard. Neither must be omitted the mention of a lady who has a cacoëthes for notes of invitation, shop cards, &c.; from the style of writing, and designs of which, she forms her opinion of the lady, gentleman, or shopkeeper; nor will she deal with any tradesman, the design and wording of whose card does not betoken what constitutes in her estimation a fair and honest dealer. Although the ensuing mania bears no reference whatsoever to the above-mentioned instances, I cannot refrain from enrolling it, being rendered conspicuous in the person of Mr. N---rr---s, of Alb---rm---rle Street, who was such an assortment of snuff boxes, that he makes a boast of never taking two pinches of that pungent dust from the same tabitiere.

It is absolutely a fact that this cacoëthes is cherished by Mr. Urq---h---rt, a gentleman of respectability, who has bargained with Jack Ketch at so much per rope, to which he affixes a label, bearing the name of the criminal executed, with a statement of the crime for which he suffered. Of course, though this personage may pay exorbitantly for many of the hempen specimens which have not curtailed the existence of very noted characters, yet he is sufficiently remunerated when delinquents like Colonel Despard, Bellingham, the assassin of Mr. Perceval, or a sanguinary Williams, terminate their career at the gallows. The recent mention of Despard brings to my remembrance the mania of Mr. H---vis---de, of surgical fame, whom I must usher into notice as a great collector of masks, taken from the countenances of deceased persons of celebrity and notoriety, in the progress of which pursuit he was once disappointed, for upon applying to Mrs. Despard for the loan of the mask taken from her husband's visage, subsequent to his execution, the lady in the first instance consented, but upon ascertaining that Mr. H---vis---de's request did not originate in any sentiment of respect which he felt for the deceased, but was only made to gratify this particular mania, she in consequence refused to accede to his wishes. To his curious mania may be subjoined the pursuit of a gentleman formerly residing in the Temple, who had an apartment decorated with the rattles, lanterns, and staves of watchmen, together with the knockers wrenched from street doors, which were the trophies of his nocturnal perambulations.

The E---rl of W---rw---ck is in possession of many curious and valuable specimens of this warlike costume of our progenitors, which was in some cases rivetted upon the person of the wearer: an instance of this kind being recorded by Mezeray, who states, that some Italian knights being made prisoners, the victors were unable to take off their armour, in consequence of which they kindled a large fire, and upon this they rolled the unfortunate men, who were literally roasted like lobsters in their shells.

Mr. B---kf---rd, of F---nth---ll, the H---n---r---ble Mr. B---ng, and the late Lord Orford, together with countless others may stand enrolled as doatingly fond of this article, which is usually purchased to decorate the library, in order, as Milton emphatically express it:

“To cast a dim religious light.”

As the above line appertains to things sacred, I cannot refrain from recording the Methodistical mania, which never was more powerfully evinced by the most bigotted catholics, than became manifest a short time back at the sale of Huntington's effects at Hermes Hill, Pentonville, where, among other precious relics of this saint among the ranters, producing extraordinary sums, an old arm chair must particularly stand recorded, which, although not intrinsically worth fifty shillings, was knocked down to a devotee for sixty pounds, while Saunders, the auctioneer, was commissioned to go as far as one hundred, had the competitorship continued. This chair cacoëthes brings to mind the perforated seat whereon the Popes are compelled to sit prior to their being invested with the triple crown, for the purpose of submitting to a strict examination, which was deemed most essential after the hoax passed upon the Conclave by the female commonly called Pope Joan. In addition to this chair mania, I have recently been informed that the spectacles of Huntingdon, and every other article, produced similar exorbitant sums, while it is asserted that a waggon of the prophet's was purchased by a farmer, who was one of his most zealous followers, for no less a sum than one thousand two hundred pounds. This also brings to recollection the rage that was manifested for any precious relic that had belonged to Edward Edwards, the black preacher, on his leaving England in the capacity of a missionary, to preach the gospel among his swarthy brethren.

In the person of S---r J---s---ph B---ks we have a striking instance of this mania, which was carried to such an extent, that in order to ascertain whether any relationship or affinity existed between a flea and a lobster, one of the former insects was boiled, when his coat not turning scarlet, it was incontestibly proved, that

“Fleas are not lobsters by the Lord!”

Having spoken on the subject of animals and insects, I cannot forget to make mention of L---y C---te C---pb---ll, who is a most determined bird-fancier, having no less than ten parrots at the same time; one of which happening to be sick, her ladyship absolutely sat up for ten nights with this feathered favourite, during which period she never once changed her apparel. I have further to add in respect to the bird mania, that a lady, named Orby Hunter, some short time back positively bequeathed two hundred pounds per annum for the maintenance of a favourite parrot, so long as he should continue in the land of the living. Nor be forgotten Poor Tom Sugden, the mendicant, whose love for pigeons was never surpassed by any fancier of that billet-carrying bird.

To these various predilections should be subjoined the tulip mania and botanical cacoëthes, for which innumerable individuals have been and are famed, witness the late D---ct---r D---rw---n, and the living D---r Th---nt---n, whose specimens are now disseminated through the medium of a lottery, a specious but deceptive plan, which was also resorted to by Messrs. Macklin and Boydell, the latter of whom was by this means rescued from the pecuniary difficulty which was brought on by the pressure of the times.

This fellow, who formerly officiated as a methodist preacher, was literally tried at the Old Bailey a short time back, and found guilty of the above flagrant enormities, for which he received sentence of transportation for seven years, being just twelve months banishment for every such conjugal enjoyment.

De gustibus non est disputandum.

In addition to the late D--- Q--- the D--- Y--- and C--- T---n, L---d H---k---, must also stand on record as famour for this infatuation, which I am sorry to add is much too prevalent: neither ought I to omit the mention of foreigners, who are most notorious for giving publicity to these incentives to vice.


179

CONCLUSION.

Jamque opus exigi quod nec Jovis ira, nec ignes,
Nec poterit ferrum, nec edax abolere vetusta.
OVID.

Here ends my work defying sword and fire,
Time's gnawing tooth—and Jove's destructive ire.

Thus far the Muse her course hath run,
To league with fame, her darling son,
That Chalcographian thrice renown'd,
Collector famous, judge profound;
Sir Catalogus, who reveres
Sales, and their heroes Auctioneers;
Whose glib tongues go like windmills' clack,
When treating of renown'd Elstracke;

180

Passes, of which they are true lovers,
Faithornes and Hollars, Marshalls, Glovers;
And yielding Chalcographian food,
Laborious White and rare Gaywood;
Nor does he less feel pleas'd to squint O!
On Place's famous mezzotinto.
Or Smith, a scraper wond'rous rare,
And Valliant too, beyond compare .

181

Having to view alike display'd
His friends—the dealers in this trade,
And prov'd he ranks with Peers on par,
Divines and lawyers at the bar;
Soldiers and gentlemen of worth,
With acres bless'd of dirty earth:

182

Merchants—the nation's mighty props,
And keepers of pawnbrokers' shops:
Having, I say, enroll'd my story,
And crown'd mine hero—son of glory;
What else remains for me to do,
Than bid my Pegasus bring-to?
Wherefore all comments to cut short,
Since brevity is wisdom's fort,
The hand to curb-rein I apply,
Thus bidding readers, all good bye;
And Catalogus hail the great,
Thus shrin'd in Chalcographian state.
 

The undermentioned are remarkably fine specimens from the gravers of the several artists, &c. named above, viz. King Charles I. when Prince of Wales, standing by a chair, from the burin of ElstrackeJames I. and his family, with Prince Henry, holding a scull, by William Passe—The same Monarch and his Queen, Anne of Denmark, by Simon Passe—and the Marchioness of Buckingham, with the border, by Magdalena PasseCromwell between the pillars, Sir William and Lady Paston, with Carew Reynell, by FaithorneSir Thomas Chaloner and the views of Arundel House, by Hollar—The Earl of Stirling, by MarshallSir Thomas Urquhart, by GloverBarbara Urselin, by GaywoodNonsuch O Toole, by DeclarumGeorge Clifford, Earl of Cumberland, with Sir Martin and Doctor Martin Leicester, by Robert White. With regard to specimens of mezzotinto excellence, I must here enumerate Sterne, Archbishop of York, by PlaceKing James II. with the Anchor and John Beggarus, a foreign bishop, by John Smith, together with Valiant's portrait of his wife, and the sheet print of his family, all of which are striking instances of the talent possessed by these several professors of the Chalcographian art.

N. B. It is necessary that I should offer an apology for having omitted to mention the name of L---d St---mf---rd, in the list of collectors; the pursuit of that nobleman being dedicated to the accumulation of Hollar's prints, of which he has to boast a very fine assortment.