 | Lays of Leisure Hours |  |
STANZAS.
(FROM INEZ, AN MS. POEM.)
Oh! hopeless, helpless, heartless state,
Oh! dark intolerable fate,
The joy of my whole life become
The desperation and the doom!
Oh! dark intolerable fate,
The joy of my whole life become
The desperation and the doom!
169
My dearest feelings turned to pain—
The consciousness of Life a chain—
The pride, the boast, the end, the aim
Become the sentence and the shame.
The consciousness of Life a chain—
The pride, the boast, the end, the aim
Become the sentence and the shame.
And shall I humbly bear my woe,
And kiss the hand that strikes the blow?
Yes! for to cease to love thee now
Were worse than every ill below.
And kiss the hand that strikes the blow?
Yes! for to cease to love thee now
Were worse than every ill below.
I cling still to that fatal Love
'Midst all the sufferings that I prove—
And while I that impeach—accuse—
Would not for worlds consent to lose!
'Midst all the sufferings that I prove—
And while I that impeach—accuse—
Would not for worlds consent to lose!
So fares the wretch whom many a wrong
Hath long subdued—and tortured long,
Whom Fate hath evermore pursued
With Hate's inexorable mood!
Hath long subdued—and tortured long,
Whom Fate hath evermore pursued
With Hate's inexorable mood!
170
Still he exclaims 'gainst bitter Life—
Its woes—its wretchedness—its strife—
And still abjures—and still complains—
And execrates its crushing pains!
Its woes—its wretchedness—its strife—
And still abjures—and still complains—
And execrates its crushing pains!
But when it seems indeed his doom
To sink into the sheltering tomb,
How hath he every grief forgot
That made him loathe his living lot.
To sink into the sheltering tomb,
How hath he every grief forgot
That made him loathe his living lot.
Then—then how doth he cling and hold
To all he spurned and scorned of old—
With desperate passion cling and cleave
To all that he is called to leave!
To all he spurned and scorned of old—
With desperate passion cling and cleave
To all that he is called to leave!
Then, then how lovely seemeth Life,
How light its load—how sweet its strife—
How gladly would he empires give
A little longer but to live!
How light its load—how sweet its strife—
How gladly would he empires give
A little longer but to live!
171
All that he thought the worst despair
Seems then but dear and precious care—
All he abhorred and loathed the most,
He would regain at any cost!
Seems then but dear and precious care—
All he abhorred and loathed the most,
He would regain at any cost!
Life—Life at any price again—
Life with redoubled grief and pain,
With miseries, sufferings, tortures rife,
Life—still his Soul's one cry is Life!
Life with redoubled grief and pain,
With miseries, sufferings, tortures rife,
Life—still his Soul's one cry is Life!
Even so were I condemned to part
With that rich phrenzy of the heart,
Its griefs and sorrows should seem nought
Compared with the anguish of that thought!
With that rich phrenzy of the heart,
Its griefs and sorrows should seem nought
Compared with the anguish of that thought!
Then welcome were its torments all,
Welcome the worst that could befall,
Welcome all—any thing—but that
Which brought deliverance thus, from Fate!
Welcome the worst that could befall,
Welcome all—any thing—but that
Which brought deliverance thus, from Fate!
172
Yes! so, even so, might I lay down
My gilded chain, my poisoned crown,
I would that Mercy's boon refuse,
And Life itself far sooner lose!
My gilded chain, my poisoned crown,
I would that Mercy's boon refuse,
And Life itself far sooner lose!
Life—Life and all that makes Life dear—
All hopes of future gladness here,
All pleasures that the Happiest prove,
And hold unto my hopeless Love!
All hopes of future gladness here,
All pleasures that the Happiest prove,
And hold unto my hopeless Love!
Aye—hence with pleasure, hence with peace,
Nor my despair nor love shall cease—
For thy sake dear is Love's fond care,
And dear, for that Love's sake, Despair!
Nor my despair nor love shall cease—
For thy sake dear is Love's fond care,
And dear, for that Love's sake, Despair!
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