All the talents' garland or, A few rockets let off at a celebrated ministry. Including Elijah's mantle, the Uti Possidetis, and other poems of the same author. By eminent political characters. The third edition, greatly enlarged [by E. A. Barrett] |
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BULL OF POPE PIUS VII.
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 | All the talents' garland |  |
BULL OF POPE PIUS VII.
ON THE CHANGE OF THE ENGLISH MINISTRY, MARCH, 1807.
Hung with black be the Vatican! deep be the gloom!For, alas! low are fall'n the new Friends of old Rome,
And Brunswick, for dreams of oaths, conscience and charters,
Has made of Whig Saints—a whole Red Book of Martyrs,
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Unenlighten'd to plod, by the light of “dark ages;”
That age too so dark, of true faith the proscriber,
Which Kings sent to mass from the Thames to the Tiber.
Yet, though giv'n up to heresy, people and throne,
In Britain we've still all the talents our own;
And whom now to console for lost power and places,
We'll send bales of relics and plenary graces.
First, to good Father Howick a mitre of lead,
By St. Denis erst worn—who, bereft of his head,
Full many a league trotted nimbly about,
To shew folks they well may do business without.
Be to Windham St. Laurence's gridiron decreed,
To teach him the virtue he now will most need;
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He with patience may bear, like the Saint—to be roasted.—
Give to Russell (heir-loom, to each Whig Faction, shackled)
Brains of goose that of yore i'th' Capitol cackled.
Petty's fame yet to save from mistakes and mischance,
Holy Water shall brush out his schemes of Finance:
Great Petty! so puff'd up for “raising the wind,”
Who could take much from nothing, yet much leave behind;
Who could money create without Taxes or Loan,
Whose head John Bull thought the philosopher's stone;
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John was rous'd to decide 'twixt small beer and pig-iron.—
For Sherry the House of Loretto, fit gift,
Right useful for wits who their stations oft shift;
That when driv'n by Paull from St. Stephen's protection,
Writs, duns, pour on Sherry from ev'ry direction;
And armies of bailiffs, doors, windows, surround,
Of his house not a tangible piece shall be found:
So still with law, honesty, order, at strife,
Sherry, lawless, may live as he's liv'd all his life.
To his Son send the skull of that ass of renown
Which once mounted the chair, and harangued a whole town;
That if future Elections should tempt Tom to speak,
He may precedent plead of this same learned Greek.
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From the toils of Impeachments shall give Whitbread rest;
And tho' mobs his fine speeches no longer admire,
They still shall confess Whitbread's fame is entire.
Should Vienna, dismay'd, soft Adair see resign,
His knack at a mission to keep from decline,
We appoint him our Nuncio in Britain to shine:
Adair who, to figure in Corps Diplomatic,
The Chronicle robb'd of his labours so Attic;
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And preserve our dear son, St. Napoleon, from harm.
To Tierney, the robe of St. Jerome, we'll spare,
On condition he gives to each barker a share.
For the Grenvilles prepare dispensations a set,
To hold all the sinecure posts they can get.
But should Edmund behold from the regions seraphic,
The firm vig'rous Statesman in jobs meanly traffic,
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And exclaim that, of Patriots, the age is no more.
Or if the pure spirit of Pitt should be told,
(Which in Heav'n, as on earth, still looks far above gold),
That Grenville had sordidly barter'd away
His fame for a pottage with Sherry and Grey;
Indignant he'd blush at this ardour for pelf,
And, lamenting his country, would joy for himself,
That, remov'd from such scenes to his own kindred sky,
He had left nought on earth—but a name ne'er to die.
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Bravely voting this Session, may not see the next,
Shall each of Sainte Huile have a large distribution
For unction extreme when arrives Dissolution;
And when one common lot shall involve Ayes and No's,
And their transient existence Fate's Ministers close,
When the direful Gazette like their passing bell tolls,
Let Masses by dozens be sung for their souls.
| All the talents' garland | |