London lyrics by Frederick Locker Lampson: With introduction and notes by Austin Dobson |
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MR. PLACID'S FLIRTATION |
 | London lyrics |  |
148
MR. PLACID'S FLIRTATION
Jemima was cross, and I lost my umbrella
That day at the tomb of Cecilia Metella.
Letters from Rome.
That day at the tomb of Cecilia Metella.
Letters from Rome.
Miss Tristram's poulet ended thus: “Nota bene,
We meet for croquet in the Aldobrandini.”
Says my wife, “Then I'll drive, and you'll ride with Selina”
(Jones's fair spouse, of the Via Sistina).
We meet for croquet in the Aldobrandini.”
Says my wife, “Then I'll drive, and you'll ride with Selina”
(Jones's fair spouse, of the Via Sistina).
We started: I'll own that my family deem
I'm an ass, but I'm not such an ass as I seem;
As we cross'd the stones gently a nursemaid said “La—
There goes Mrs. Jones with Miss Placid's papa!”
I'm an ass, but I'm not such an ass as I seem;
As we cross'd the stones gently a nursemaid said “La—
There goes Mrs. Jones with Miss Placid's papa!”
Our friends, one or two may be mention'd anon,
Had arranged rendezvous at the Gate of St. John:
That pass'd, off we spun over turf that's not green there,
And soon were all met at the villa. You've been there?
Had arranged rendezvous at the Gate of St. John:
149
And soon were all met at the villa. You've been there?
I'll try and describe, or I won't, if you please,
The cheer that was set for us under the trees:
You have read the menu, may you read it again;
Champagne, perigord, galantine, and—champagne.
The cheer that was set for us under the trees:
You have read the menu, may you read it again;
Champagne, perigord, galantine, and—champagne.
The luncheon despatch'd, we adjourn'd to croquet,
A dainty, but difficult sport in its way.
Thus I counsel the sage, who to play at it stoops,
Belabour thy neighbour, and spoon through thy hoops.
A dainty, but difficult sport in its way.
Thus I counsel the sage, who to play at it stoops,
Belabour thy neighbour, and spoon through thy hoops.
Then we stroll'd, and discourse found its kindest of tones:
“How charming were solitude and—Mrs. Jones!”
“Indeed, Mr. Placid, I dote on the sheeny
And shadowy paths of this Aldobrandini!”
“How charming were solitude and—Mrs. Jones!”
“Indeed, Mr. Placid, I dote on the sheeny
And shadowy paths of this Aldobrandini!”
150
A girl came with violet posies, and two
Soft eyes, like her violets, freshen'd with dew,
And a kind of an indolent, fine-lady air,—
As if she by accident found herself there.
Soft eyes, like her violets, freshen'd with dew,
And a kind of an indolent, fine-lady air,—
As if she by accident found herself there.
I bought one. Selina was pleased to accept it;
She gave me a rosebud to keep—and I've kept it.
Then twilight was near, and I think, in my heart,
When she vow'd she must go, she was loth to depart.
She gave me a rosebud to keep—and I've kept it.
Then twilight was near, and I think, in my heart,
When she vow'd she must go, she was loth to depart.
Cattivo momento! we dare not delay:
The steeds are remounted, and wheels roll away:
The ladies condemn Mrs. Jones, as the phrase is,
But vie with each other in chanting my praises.
The steeds are remounted, and wheels roll away:
The ladies condemn Mrs. Jones, as the phrase is,
But vie with each other in chanting my praises.
“He has so much to say!” cries the fair Mrs. Legge;
“How amusing he was about missing the peg!”
“What a beautiful smile!” says the plainest Miss Gunn.
All echo, “He's charming! delightful!—What fun!”
“How amusing he was about missing the peg!”
151
All echo, “He's charming! delightful!—What fun!”
This sounds rather nice, and it's perfectly clear it
Had sounded more nice had I happen'd to hear it;
The men were less civil, and gave me a rub,
So I afterwards heard when I went to the Club.
Had sounded more nice had I happen'd to hear it;
The men were less civil, and gave me a rub,
So I afterwards heard when I went to the Club.
Says Brown, “I shall drop Mr. Placid's society;”
(Brown is a prig of improper propriety;)
“Hang him,” said Smith (who from cant's not exempt)
“Why he'll bring immorality into contempt.”
(Brown is a prig of improper propriety;)
“Hang him,” said Smith (who from cant's not exempt)
“Why he'll bring immorality into contempt.”
Says I (to myself) when I found me alone,
“My wife has my heart, is it always her own?”
And further, says I (to myself) “I'll be shot
If I know if Selina adores me or not.”
“My wife has my heart, is it always her own?”
And further, says I (to myself) “I'll be shot
If I know if Selina adores me or not.”
152
Says Jones, “I've just come from the scarvi, at Veii,
And I've bought some remarkably fine scarabæi!”
And I've bought some remarkably fine scarabæi!”
| London lyrics | |