The House that Tweed Built Dedicated to Every True Reformer [Republican or Democrat] [by W. J. Linton] |
 |
 | The House that Tweed Built |  |
3
THE HOUSE THAT TWEED BUILT
4
This is
THE PLASTERER,
Garvey by name,
The Garvey who made it his little game
To lay on the plaster, and plaster it thick
On the roof
And the walls
And the wood
And the brick
Of the wonderful House
That TWEED built.
THE PLASTERER,
Garvey by name,
The Garvey who made it his little game
To lay on the plaster, and plaster it thick
On the roof
And the walls
And the wood
And the brick
Of the wonderful House
That TWEED built.
5
This is
DICK CONNOLLY,
(“Slippery Dick,”)
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
By the comptroller's plasterer, Garvey by name,
The Garvey who made it his little game
To lay on the plaster, and lay it on thick,
On the roof and the walls
And the wood and the brick
Of the wonderful House
That TWEED built.
DICK CONNOLLY,
(“Slippery Dick,”)
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
By the comptroller's plasterer, Garvey by name,
The Garvey who made it his little game
To lay on the plaster, and lay it on thick,
On the roof and the walls
And the wood and the brick
Of the wonderful House
That TWEED built.
6
This, Sir! is
SWEENY, Peter B.,
In the plastering deepest of all the three,
Sweeny,
Garvey,
And Connolly,—
Otherwise known as “Slippery Dick,”
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
From roof to cellar, on wood and brick,
In the wonderful House
That TWEED built.
SWEENY, Peter B.,
In the plastering deepest of all the three,
Sweeny,
Garvey,
And Connolly,—
Otherwise known as “Slippery Dick,”
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
From roof to cellar, on wood and brick,
In the wonderful House
That TWEED built.
7
These are
THE CARPETS,
At so much a roll,
Supplied by the firm of Ingersoll,
The very best carpets of Ingersoll's make,
Which some one or other did often take
To the doors of the House that TWEED built.
THE CARPETS,
At so much a roll,
Supplied by the firm of Ingersoll,
The very best carpets of Ingersoll's make,
Which some one or other did often take
To the doors of the House that TWEED built.
This is
THE METROPOLITAN,
Boss'd, they tell us, by Tweed's young man,
With carpets and furniture, spick and span,
Of the very best patterns of Ingersoll's make,
Like the carpets that somebody else did take
To the doors
Of the House
That TWEED built.
THE METROPOLITAN,
Boss'd, they tell us, by Tweed's young man,
With carpets and furniture, spick and span,
Of the very best patterns of Ingersoll's make,
Like the carpets that somebody else did take
To the doors
Of the House
That TWEED built.
8
These are
THERMOMETERS,
Only a few,
Good to tell you the atmosphere too,
And sold to the City by—never mind who!
You'll find the name on the City Roll,
With Sweeny and Garvey and Ingersoll,
And Connolly (known as “Slippery Dick”),
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
On each blessed inch of wood or brick
Of the wonderful House that TWEED built.
THERMOMETERS,
Only a few,
Good to tell you the atmosphere too,
And sold to the City by—never mind who!
You'll find the name on the City Roll,
With Sweeny and Garvey and Ingersoll,
And Connolly (known as “Slippery Dick”),
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
On each blessed inch of wood or brick
Of the wonderful House that TWEED built.
9
This is
BOSS TWEED,
Nast's man with the brains,
The Tammany Atlas who all sustains,
(A Tammany Samson perhaps for his pains,)
Who rules the City where Oakey reigns,
The father of that very nice young man
Who furnish'd the new Metropolitan,
The master of Woodward and Ingersoll
And all of the gang on the City Roll,
And formerly lord of “Slippery Dick,”
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
By the comptroller's plasterer, Garvey by name,
The Garvey whose fame is the little game
Of laying on plaster and knowing the trick
Of charging as if he himself were a brick
Of the well-plaster'd House
That TWEED built.
BOSS TWEED,
Nast's man with the brains,
The Tammany Atlas who all sustains,
(A Tammany Samson perhaps for his pains,)
Who rules the City where Oakey reigns,
10
Who furnish'd the new Metropolitan,
The master of Woodward and Ingersoll
And all of the gang on the City Roll,
And formerly lord of “Slippery Dick,”
Who controll'd the plastering laid on so thick
By the comptroller's plasterer, Garvey by name,
The Garvey whose fame is the little game
Of laying on plaster and knowing the trick
Of charging as if he himself were a brick
Of the well-plaster'd House
That TWEED built.
11
This is
THE MAN OF THE TIMES,
GEORGE JONES.
By George, but he always was flinging of stones
And kicking up shindies
Till he broke all the windies
And so got in the House
That TWEED built.
THE MAN OF THE TIMES,
GEORGE JONES.
By George, but he always was flinging of stones
And kicking up shindies
Till he broke all the windies
And so got in the House
That TWEED built.
12
These are
THE NEWSPAPERS
Over the way,
The Tribune and Herald, with nothing to say,
Who envy George Jones,
Who by flinging of stones
And breaking glass windies
(The thunder, why was n't he out at the Indies?)
Led off these same shindies,
And got first
In the House that TWEED built.
THE NEWSPAPERS
Over the way,
The Tribune and Herald, with nothing to say,
Who envy George Jones,
Who by flinging of stones
And breaking glass windies
(The thunder, why was n't he out at the Indies?)
Led off these same shindies,
And got first
In the House that TWEED built.
13
This is
JUDGE BARRETT,
Who pick'd from the brook
(North River), like David, smooth stones which he took
And gave Mister Jones, with a view to the shindies
And letting in light by the breaking of windies
In the House
That Goliath
(BOSS TWEED)
Built.
JUDGE BARRETT,
Who pick'd from the brook
(North River), like David, smooth stones which he took
And gave Mister Jones, with a view to the shindies
And letting in light by the breaking of windies
In the House
That Goliath
(BOSS TWEED)
Built.
14
This is
THE WIFE who said:—
Almighty Jesus!
If you've gone and let that out they're certain to squeeze us
And get at the truth of the vouchers we burnt,
And Lord knows what else that had never been learnt,
Not even by Judge Barrett who pick'd from the brook,
Like another young David, smooth stones which he took
Right away to the Times, with a view to the shindies
And letting in light to their brains through the windies
Of the wonderful House that TWEED built.
THE WIFE who said:—
Almighty Jesus!
If you've gone and let that out they're certain to squeeze us
And get at the truth of the vouchers we burnt,
And Lord knows what else that had never been learnt,
Not even by Judge Barrett who pick'd from the brook,
Like another young David, smooth stones which he took
Right away to the Times, with a view to the shindies
And letting in light to their brains through the windies
Of the wonderful House that TWEED built.
15
This is
MAYOR HALL.
Quite a pleasure to say
Was nary a Mayor who was nearer O. K.
For he smiles and indorses both Sweeny and Tweed,
And thinks it a most pleasant folly indeed
To trust to a Wife who says Almighty Jesus!
If you've gone and let that out they're certain to squeeze us,
And get at the truth of the vouchers we burnt,
And goodness knows what else had never been learnt,
Not even by Judge Barrett, by bell or by book,
For all the smooth stones that our young David took
And wrapp'd up in the Times, to let fly at the windies
To trouble our brains and make no end of shindies
In the beautiful House that TWEED built.
MAYOR HALL.
Quite a pleasure to say
Was nary a Mayor who was nearer O. K.
For he smiles and indorses both Sweeny and Tweed,
And thinks it a most pleasant folly indeed
To trust to a Wife who says Almighty Jesus!
If you've gone and let that out they're certain to squeeze us,
And get at the truth of the vouchers we burnt,
And goodness knows what else had never been learnt,
Not even by Judge Barrett, by bell or by book,
For all the smooth stones that our young David took
And wrapp'd up in the Times, to let fly at the windies
To trouble our brains and make no end of shindies
In the beautiful House that TWEED built.
16
These are
THE PRINTERS
Of Cosy New York,
Who are paid seven times for the same piece of work;
At least so't is said, though we may not deny,
If they're only paid five times, that seven is a lie;
And sure they've the proofs of the vouchers and deeds
Of the Halls and the Garveys and Sweenies and Tweeds
Taken off by —
Whose wife exclaim'd, Almighty Jesus!
If you've gone and let that out they're certain to squeeze us
And get at the truth of the papers we burnt,
And goodness knows what else had never been learnt,
Not even by Judge Barrett, by hook or by crook,
For all our young David's smooth stones that he took
And wrapp'd up in the Times, and let fly at the windies,
To trouble men's brains and make no end of shindies
In the wonderful House that TWEED built.
THE PRINTERS
Of Cosy New York,
Who are paid seven times for the same piece of work;
At least so't is said, though we may not deny,
If they're only paid five times, that seven is a lie;
And sure they've the proofs of the vouchers and deeds
Of the Halls and the Garveys and Sweenies and Tweeds
Taken off by —
Whose wife exclaim'd, Almighty Jesus!
If you've gone and let that out they're certain to squeeze us
And get at the truth of the papers we burnt,
And goodness knows what else had never been learnt,
Not even by Judge Barrett, by hook or by crook,
For all our young David's smooth stones that he took
And wrapp'd up in the Times, and let fly at the windies,
To trouble men's brains and make no end of shindies
In the wonderful House that TWEED built.
17
THE LAWS OF NEW YORK!
Well, indeed!
They are capital stuffing for cushions for Tweed.
What matter so long as the City is freed,—
Say free of the guild and the guilt and the greed
Of the Halls and the Garveys, the Sweenies and TWEED,—
Boss Tweed, Nast's man with the wonderful brains,
The Tammany Atlas that all sustains,
(Tammany's Samson for all his gains,)
Who rules the City where Oakey reigns,
The father of that very nice young man
Who runs the new Metropolitan,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll,
And all of the gang on the City Roll,
And formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Controller of plastering laid on so thick,
By the controller's plasterer, known to fame
As thickest of plasterers, Garvey by name,
Who plaster'd the House that TWEED built.
Well, indeed!
They are capital stuffing for cushions for Tweed.
What matter so long as the City is freed,—
Say free of the guild and the guilt and the greed
Of the Halls and the Garveys, the Sweenies and TWEED,—
Boss Tweed, Nast's man with the wonderful brains,
The Tammany Atlas that all sustains,
(Tammany's Samson for all his gains,)
Who rules the City where Oakey reigns,
The father of that very nice young man
Who runs the new Metropolitan,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll,
And all of the gang on the City Roll,
And formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Controller of plastering laid on so thick,
By the controller's plasterer, known to fame
As thickest of plasterers, Garvey by name,
Who plaster'd the House that TWEED built.
19
This is
A REAL OLD TAMMANY ROUGH,
A sample, we've many a sack of the stuff,—
Ready in action and stanch and tough,
Who, when honester men do nothing but bluff,
Will vote you the laws, and will vote you enough.
Yes! he'll vote them, he makes the law-makers indeed,
The makers of cushions for Emperor Tweed,—
Emperor Tweed, Nast's man with the brains,
The Atlas that Tammany Hall maintains,
(Tammany's Samson for all their pains,)
Who rules the City while Oakey reigns,
The fatherly friend of that nice young man
Who runs the new Metropolitan,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll
And all of the gang on the City Roll,
And formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Comptroller of plastering laid on so thick
By the controller's plasterer known to fame
As thickest of plasterers, Garvey by name,
Who plaster'd the House
That TWEED built.
A REAL OLD TAMMANY ROUGH,
A sample, we've many a sack of the stuff,—
Ready in action and stanch and tough,
Who, when honester men do nothing but bluff,
Will vote you the laws, and will vote you enough.
Yes! he'll vote them, he makes the law-makers indeed,
The makers of cushions for Emperor Tweed,—
Emperor Tweed, Nast's man with the brains,
The Atlas that Tammany Hall maintains,
(Tammany's Samson for all their pains,)
Who rules the City while Oakey reigns,
The fatherly friend of that nice young man
Who runs the new Metropolitan,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll
And all of the gang on the City Roll,
And formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Comptroller of plastering laid on so thick
By the controller's plasterer known to fame
As thickest of plasterers, Garvey by name,
Who plaster'd the House
That TWEED built.
20
This is
THE BUSY
COMMITTEE OF SEVEN-
TY Citizens good with intentions to leaven
The state of affairs and to put down the Rough,
Who has made City Rulers quite often enough,
And to turn out O. K. and displace the Boss Tweed,—
Emperor Tweed, Nast's man with the brains,
Tammany's Samson for all his gains,
Who rules the City while Oakey reigns,
The fatherly friend of that nice young man,
And head of the new Metropolitan,
Owner of all on the City Roll,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll,
Formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Comptroller of plastering laid on so thick
By the controller's plasterer, known to fame
As thickest of plasterers, Garvey by name,
Who plaster'd the House that TWEED built.
THE BUSY
COMMITTEE OF SEVEN-
TY Citizens good with intentions to leaven
The state of affairs and to put down the Rough,
Who has made City Rulers quite often enough,
And to turn out O. K. and displace the Boss Tweed,—
Emperor Tweed, Nast's man with the brains,
Tammany's Samson for all his gains,
Who rules the City while Oakey reigns,
The fatherly friend of that nice young man,
And head of the new Metropolitan,
Owner of all on the City Roll,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll,
Formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
21
By the controller's plasterer, known to fame
As thickest of plasterers, Garvey by name,
Who plaster'd the House that TWEED built.
This is
A PRESENT OF HEMP.
Let us hope
The Boss and his gang will have plenty of rope
Till they swing,
The whole Ring,
To Sing-Sing.
Then sing, sing for the Seven-
Ty men who will leaven
This state of affairs!
But no rest must be theirs
Till they put down the Rough
Who has made City Bosses quite often enough,
Till they turn out O. K. and displace the great Tweed,—
Emperor Tweed with the dollarous brains,
Tammany's Atlas for Tammany gains,
Tammany's Samson for all his pains,
Who rules the City while Oakey reigns,
The fatherly friend of that nice young man,
Head of the new Metropolitan,
Owner of all on the City Roll,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll,
Formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Comptroller and plasterer never so thick,
Known for ages to come to fame
As head-master plasterer (spite of the claim
Of Garvey, —you know that's only a name)
Of the wonderful
House
That TWEED built.
A PRESENT OF HEMP.
Let us hope
The Boss and his gang will have plenty of rope
Till they swing,
The whole Ring,
To Sing-Sing.
Then sing, sing for the Seven-
Ty men who will leaven
This state of affairs!
But no rest must be theirs
Till they put down the Rough
Who has made City Bosses quite often enough,
Till they turn out O. K. and displace the great Tweed,—
Emperor Tweed with the dollarous brains,
Tammany's Atlas for Tammany gains,
Tammany's Samson for all his pains,
22
The fatherly friend of that nice young man,
Head of the new Metropolitan,
Owner of all on the City Roll,
Master of Woodward and Ingersoll,
Formerly lord of “Slippery Dick”—
Comptroller and plasterer never so thick,
Known for ages to come to fame
As head-master plasterer (spite of the claim
Of Garvey, —you know that's only a name)
Of the wonderful
House
That TWEED built.
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