 | Number Twenty |  |
141
THE PROGRESS OF HUMANITY.
Dr. Juenemann has compounded a fluid which, in his opinion, is destined entirely to revolutionise modern warfare, and put a stop to the horrible carnage with which wars are at present inevitably conducted. His plan is to burst a shell containing this fluid, which, on liberation, is converted into a gas, under the effect of which every living being within a considerable space becomes unconscious, and remains so for two or three hours.
I.
Near the nineteenth century's closing
(All the world in peace reposing)
Suddenly the rumour ran,
“War's grim horrors, felt too often,
Good Juenemann will soften”
(Please pronounce “You-any-man”).
(All the world in peace reposing)
Suddenly the rumour ran,
“War's grim horrors, felt too often,
Good Juenemann will soften”
(Please pronounce “You-any-man”).
“Now he's made the thing a study
War will cease from being bloody,
And will only cause a smell.
Blessings, then, on modern science
And its last humane appliance,
The Narcotic Vapour Shell!
War will cease from being bloody,
And will only cause a smell.
Blessings, then, on modern science
And its last humane appliance,
The Narcotic Vapour Shell!
“Boom of gun and rifle's rattle
Shall no more be heard in battle
Once the Doctor's shell has burst;
All the interest will be focussed
On the question who are hocussed
By their adversaries first.
Shall no more be heard in battle
Once the Doctor's shell has burst;
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On the question who are hocussed
By their adversaries first.
“Softly these will sink to slumber,
While their weapons, useless lumber,
At their feet abandoned lie;
Which secured and piled, the others
Will approach their sleeping brothers,
And restoratives apply.
While their weapons, useless lumber,
At their feet abandoned lie;
Which secured and piled, the others
Will approach their sleeping brothers,
And restoratives apply.
“‘Waken, brethren, foes no longer,’
Stronger thus, and ever stronger,
Will arise the friendly shout.
‘Ended ere we'd well begun it
Is the fight; our shell has won it;
Now be yours the shelling out.’
Stronger thus, and ever stronger,
Will arise the friendly shout.
‘Ended ere we'd well begun it
Is the fight; our shell has won it;
Now be yours the shelling out.’
“Blessings then on modern science
For its last humane appliance,
And on him who framed the plan.
War's no more a brutal battue.”
So they raised a stately statue
To the good Juenemann.
For its last humane appliance,
And on him who framed the plan.
War's no more a brutal battue.”
So they raised a stately statue
To the good Juenemann.
II.
Years rolled on and times grew milder,
All the primitive and wilder
Human passions sank to rest;
And the public admiration
For the Doctor's innovation
Was less heartily expressed.
All the primitive and wilder
Human passions sank to rest;
And the public admiration
For the Doctor's innovation
Was less heartily expressed.
143
Men began to view with coldness
One who with such callous boldness
Could an army drug by stealth,
Careless, his designs pursuing,
How much harm he might be doing
To that army's future health.
One who with such callous boldness
Could an army drug by stealth,
Careless, his designs pursuing,
How much harm he might be doing
To that army's future health.
“How could he,” in accents fretful
Murmured they, “be thus forgetful,
Wrapped in his unscrupulous art,
That the rifle or the sabre
May be borne by men who labour
With affections of the heat?
Murmured they, “be thus forgetful,
Wrapped in his unscrupulous art,
That the rifle or the sabre
May be borne by men who labour
With affections of the heat?
“Some perchance may not recover,
All of them are bound to suffer
In the body or the mind,
More or less, from that reaction
Which narcotic stupefaction
Almost always leaves behind.”
All of them are bound to suffer
In the body or the mind,
More or less, from that reaction
Which narcotic stupefaction
Almost always leaves behind.”
So the local papers trounced him,
Crowds assembled and denounced him
Till they made their victim flinch,
Smashed his windows, broke his image
Mobbed him in an ugly scrimmage,
Threatened him with Justice Lynch.
Crowds assembled and denounced him
Till they made their victim flinch,
Smashed his windows, broke his image
Mobbed him in an ugly scrimmage,
Threatened him with Justice Lynch.
Then the conscience-stricken Doctor
Doubtful whether to be shocked or
Furious at his altered plight,
Making but a weak contention
For his devilish invention,
Gave it up and took to flight.
Doubtful whether to be shocked or
Furious at his altered plight,
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For his devilish invention,
Gave it up and took to flight.
Fled beyond his country's border,
Entered a monastic order
For his life's remaining span;
And, from all his fellows parted,
Lingered on, a broken-hearted,
Penitent Juenemann.
Entered a monastic order
For his life's remaining span;
And, from all his fellows parted,
Lingered on, a broken-hearted,
Penitent Juenemann.
| Number Twenty | |