Recaptured Rhymes Being a Batch of Political and Other Fugitives Arrested and Brought to Book. By H. D. Traill |
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THE BARON DE WIGG. |
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 | Recaptured Rhymes |  |
7
THE BARON DE WIGG.
All ye who sit waiting in moody array,
Oppositionists eager to welcome a day
With the fate of the Ministry big,
Chastise your passion for power and place
By recalling the sad but instructive case
Of the fine old Baron de Wigg.
Oppositionists eager to welcome a day
With the fate of the Ministry big,
Chastise your passion for power and place
By recalling the sad but instructive case
Of the fine old Baron de Wigg.
Old Baron de Wigg from his earliest years
Had moved in the highest official spheres,
Until he had learnt to dream
That “placemen” and “Wiggs” were convertible terms,
And belonged to a system of which the germs
Formed part of the cosmic scheme.
Had moved in the highest official spheres,
Until he had learnt to dream
That “placemen” and “Wiggs” were convertible terms,
And belonged to a system of which the germs
Formed part of the cosmic scheme.
8
He considered the ends of creation gained
On the whole, while De Wiggs high office retained,
Fulfilment complete being won
When the head of the house was the realm's chief guide,
And each of the other De Wiggs supplied
With a post for a younger son.
On the whole, while De Wiggs high office retained,
Fulfilment complete being won
When the head of the house was the realm's chief guide,
And each of the other De Wiggs supplied
With a post for a younger son.
Now imagine the Baron de Wigg's disgust
At finding the family suddenly thrust
From their natural place in the State
By men who from '32 down to that hour
Had never enjoyed a spell of power
Of more than the briefest date.
At finding the family suddenly thrust
From their natural place in the State
By men who from '32 down to that hour
Had never enjoyed a spell of power
Of more than the briefest date.
But as year after year kept slipping away,
To disgust there began a profound dismay
In the Baron's breast to succeed;
For, if longer excluded from place, he saw
That the uniform order of physical law
Could hardly be guaranteed.
To disgust there began a profound dismay
In the Baron's breast to succeed;
For, if longer excluded from place, he saw
That the uniform order of physical law
Could hardly be guaranteed.
9
This gloomy conviction inclined him to lend
Too willing an ear to a dubious friend
(Mr Latterday Radd was his name),
Who offered the Baron his counsel and aid
To regain what was worthy the prize to be made
Of a slightly unscrupulous game.
Too willing an ear to a dubious friend
(Mr Latterday Radd was his name),
Who offered the Baron his counsel and aid
To regain what was worthy the prize to be made
Of a slightly unscrupulous game.
But Latterday Radd two acquaintances had,
Who rejoiced in the names of Crotchett and Fadd—
A quite unpresentable pair;
And the Baron, who could not afford to contemn
An alliance with Radd, thought mixing with them
To be—well, quite another affair.
Who rejoiced in the names of Crotchett and Fadd—
A quite unpresentable pair;
And the Baron, who could not afford to contemn
An alliance with Radd, thought mixing with them
To be—well, quite another affair.
So when in pure zeal for De Wigg and his ends,
Radd promised to drop his unsavoury friends
(To “sink” was the word he employed),
The Baron was touched by the simple young man
Who such loyalty showed to himself and his clan,
And accepted his aid overjoyed.
Radd promised to drop his unsavoury friends
(To “sink” was the word he employed),
The Baron was touched by the simple young man
Who such loyalty showed to himself and his clan,
And accepted his aid overjoyed.
10
And all the De Wiggs were effusive in praise
Of the truly high-minded magnanimous ways
Of good Mr Latterday Radd,
And the disinterested effacement of self
With which their consent to be laid on the shelf
Had credited Crotchett and Fadd.
Of the truly high-minded magnanimous ways
Of good Mr Latterday Radd,
And the disinterested effacement of self
With which their consent to be laid on the shelf
Had credited Crotchett and Fadd.
By the help of the friend enlisted so
(The while his associates shy “lay low,”
According to pledge and resolve)
The De Wiggs regained their official berth,
And the planets returned to their paths, and the earth
Began once more to revolve.
(The while his associates shy “lay low,”
According to pledge and resolve)
The De Wiggs regained their official berth,
And the planets returned to their paths, and the earth
Began once more to revolve.
But his conquest of place was no sooner achieved
Than the Baron next day to his horror perceived—
Arm-linked with Latterday Radd—
That obtrusive old Crotchett pervading the place,
And behind them the pert and self-satisfied face
Of the still more odious Fadd.
Than the Baron next day to his horror perceived—
Arm-linked with Latterday Radd—
That obtrusive old Crotchett pervading the place,
And behind them the pert and self-satisfied face
Of the still more odious Fadd.
11
De Wigg would have cut them and hurried away,
But Radd was before him, and hastened to say
In a coldly imperious tone:
“Permit me, dear Baron—(don't try to look big):
Mr Fadd, Mr Crotchett—the Baron de Wigg,
The friends of your friend are your own.”
But Radd was before him, and hastened to say
In a coldly imperious tone:
“Permit me, dear Baron—(don't try to look big):
Mr Fadd, Mr Crotchett—the Baron de Wigg,
The friends of your friend are your own.”
On the Baron expressing in manner constrained
Surprise at their presence, his friend explained
That his pledge had been misunderstood;
For a time—and a purpose—he said, 'twas true,
He had promised to “sink” the obnoxious two,
But never to sink them for good.
Surprise at their presence, his friend explained
That his pledge had been misunderstood;
For a time—and a purpose—he said, 'twas true,
He had promised to “sink” the obnoxious two,
But never to sink them for good.
De Wigg having risen they too must rise,
And he, as a friend, would the Baron advise
To be civil to Crotchett and Fadd;
So the Baron shook hands with a ghastly smile,
For he fully admitted the need, for a while,
Of, at least, being civil to Radd.
And he, as a friend, would the Baron advise
To be civil to Crotchett and Fadd;
So the Baron shook hands with a ghastly smile,
For he fully admitted the need, for a while,
Of, at least, being civil to Radd.
12
Thus lancés and thus influentially backed,
The pair to this wretched old party are tacked,
And declare, on advancement intent,
That he must introduce them without more ado
In both the great Houses he's access unto;
And the Baron will have to consent.
The pair to this wretched old party are tacked,
And declare, on advancement intent,
That he must introduce them without more ado
In both the great Houses he's access unto;
And the Baron will have to consent.
All ye, then, who sit in impatient array,
Oppositionists eager to welcome a day
With the fate of the Ministry big,
Chastise your passion for power and place
By recalling the sad but instructive case
Of the fine old Baron de Wigg.
Oppositionists eager to welcome a day
With the fate of the Ministry big,
Chastise your passion for power and place
By recalling the sad but instructive case
Of the fine old Baron de Wigg.
| Recaptured Rhymes | |