Burlesque upon Burlesque Or, the Scoffer Scoft. Being some of Lucians Dialogues Newly put into English fustian. For the Consolation of those who had rather Laugh and be Merry, then be Merry and Wise [by Charles Cotton] |
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DIALOGUE.
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DIALOGUE.
Apollo and Mercury.
Apol.I'me so confounded with this pair,
This Castor, and this Pollux here,
This brace of Cignets, that one Brother
I'me still mistaking for the other,
Which puts me out of Count'nance so,
I know not what to say, or do.
For they'r so like, that when I meet 'um,
And with respect would kindly greet 'um,
Servant Don Castor, streight cry I:
I'me Pollux, cries he by and by.
Then presently my self I flatter,
The next time sure to mend the matter,
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What Monsieur Pollux, and go on,
I'me proud to be your Servant known,
And then 'tis Castor ten to one.
Now though herein there ever is
As much to hit as there's to miss,
Yet o'th' wrong name I alwayes light,
And never yet was in the right.
If thou can'st give me then some mark
Particular to either Spark,
That I may one from t'other know,
I prethee (honest Merc'ry) do.
Merc.
Why that you yesterday embrac't here,
When we together were, was Castor.
Ap.
But how can'st know him from his Brother,
When they'r so like to one another.
Merc.
Why Pollux is so giv'n to huffing,
His face still's black and blew with cuffing:
And to be more particular,
His left cheek wears a noted scar
Of a good wherrit Bebrix gave him,
Which over-board no doubt had drave him,
Had not friend Jason stept to save him.
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By being of an Argonaut,
When Jason sailed into Greece,
To steal away the Golden Fleece.
Apollo.
Gramercy faith, I'le swear a Book on,
Thou hast oblig'd me by this token.
For which was which I ne're could tell,
But seeing each with his half shell,
His white horse, Javelin, and his Star,
To me the same they alwayes were,
And I, when I would seem well bred,
Did still consound 'um, as I said:
But since I'me so beholding to thee,
Resolve me one thing more I prethee;
And tell me why these brothers never
Are to be seen in Heav'n together.
Merc.
Why you must know that Jupiter
Upon the hatching of this pair,
These Twins of Læda fair, decreed
(I think for to preserve the Breed)
That one the Destinies should curtal,
But th'other be ordain'd immortal:
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They, like two very loving Brothers,
By an affection very rare,
The good and ill alike would share.
Thus when one dies, the other mourns,
And so they live, and dye by turns.
Apollo.
'Tis sign of very good condition,
But 'tis a friendship sans fruition;
For in this manner neither Brother
Can ever see, or speak to th'other:
But of what Calling are these Blades?
For we have all of us our Trades.
I am a Prophet and Musitian,
My Son's a special good Physitian,
My Sister playes the Midwife's part,
And thou a famous Wrestler art.
Are these two good for nought do'st think,
But only for to eat, and drink?
Merc.
O yes I promise ye, their Stars
Propitious are to Mariners,
And save 'um oft, when to ones thinking
They even are as good as sinking.
200
A charitable good vocation;
I wish them nigh when I've occasion.
Good Sea-men, say'st thou (Merc'ry) marry,
A Calling very necessary,
And will (no doubt) when men are Sea-sick,
Do 'um more good by half than Physick.
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