University of Virginia Library

The Warlike Poets of old time,
That smother'd Wit in Squibbs of Rime;
You whose Gigantick numbers sor'd,
Describing Champion, and his Sword;
That sing of Knights, and make a Clashing
Of Rime as hideous as their Slashing:
Whose Muses danc't to howl of Doggs,
To squeak of Mice, and croak of Froggs.
You Demy cracks of Pistol-bore,
What are you, when the Canons rore?

Such triming Suits your paultry stuff,
Our Homer must be Cannon proof:
Who Hogan sings, must roar it louder
With pen of Linstock, and a powder.

Now for a Broad side: Jove inspire,
And to my Sulph'rous Brain give fire,
In show'rs of lightning Charms to Thunder
The Worlds great terrour and its wonder.

In Regions deep of Earths pollution,
The sink and chanel of Confusion:
Hight Netherlands, with Stygian Lakes
Of all the Earth the common Jakes:
When trenches deep with pond and sluce,
Began to ope at Brill, and Meuse,
When sprawling Crab did first prevail,
And Lyon to the Crown turn'd tayl;
When body politick first shrunk
From Soverain head, and mov'd in trunk;
When Pride and Faction put on Union,
Abjuring Catholick Communion;
When Rebel high, in lower Regions,
To Soveraignty renounc't Allegience.
To Kings, when Union and Alliance
Of Provinces did bid Defyance;
When Butterbox did put on State;
Confusion turn'd Confæderate:
When Trumpiters turn'd Pensionaries,
With Ple-ni-mi-po-tentiaries.
When Dame-Religion cast off Smock,
And wore Tarpolian for a Frock.
When Canvas flew, and Trees had motion,
And Forrests grew upon the Ocean:
Then was the time when Hogan-Mogan,
The lofty Floods began to Rogue on;
Abandoning inferiour dwelling,
And launced forth an Admirelling;
Subverting Neptunes, pulling down
The Rights and Priviledg of Crown;
With Kingdoms, States, in dire Commotion,
By planting Empire on the Ocean:
About the Coast, with Shallop tearing,
To set up Monarchy of Herring.

Aquarius big with Pisces stood,
When Hogan mounting Steed of wood;
The great Leviathan to keep,
Began his Revels in the deep;
And Miracle, did walk afloat
On face of Sea, by help of Boat;
The Winds the Musick, he renowns
From Texel tripping o're the Downs.

His Pegasus a flying Steed,
And ne're stood still, but when he rid;
A water pad at Knights devotion,
And as prepost'rous in his motion;
He mov'd on bottom, kicking Clouds
With feet aloof, fetter'd with Shrouds;
For Bridle, tugging at the Tayl,
He Steer'd with Stern, and spur'd with Gayl;
Hee'd mount and fall, and ne're move hoof,
And spring a Caper loof a loof;
One Jadish trick, hee'd ne're be led,
But slip the Reins, and run a Head,
And had a Custom with the Wind,
Alwaies to turn his Rump behind;
Hee'd swallow Bitt at fomy mouth,
And prance a Voyage from North to South,
Hee'd course the Compass round, then Tack
Both Poles, and none could find his track,
And when he Stabled in close harbour;
He tug'd at Bridle on the Larbour.
The Trojan Steed that bore intomb'd
His Arms and Champion in his Womb,
This difference only Authors have,
That scal'd the Wall, and this the Wave.

Hee'd leap o're Floods, and Regions Rocky,
And was a desperate Sea-Jocky.
Hee'd Inch and wight, make twenty matches
A day, and run 'em off the Hatches;
And wou'd like Cavalier of State,
Put in with Princes for the Plate:
For tho' no Scholler, without doubt
He was a Seaman, and a stout
Tarpolian; he wou'd undertake
To leap the Gulph at Quarter-deck,
Ride switch and spur with Wind and Oar,
And often both to compass Shore;
Without once drawing Bitt, engage
To be the foremost at the Stage;
And in a trice, while they are Stateing,
Post to the Indies without baiting.
No River, Ocean, or Confusion
Of Floods could stop his Resolution;
But he wou'd through all winds and weathers,
Like Julius Cæsar with his Bladders.

And then on Ice, for slideing-Skate,
No Cannon-ball cou'd make the gate:
In half a minute, he wou'd ride on
A Sledg from Amsterdam to Leyden:
Seav'n German Leagues, to which he had
Thirty-nine Roads, besides the Pad,
By Foot, by Horse, by Boat, by Sconce,
Or Lake, and go them all at once,
As swift as Shaft from Bow of Tarter,
And back again in half a quarter:
For tho' he was a furious Rider
Forward, he was a worse Back-slider:
A great practitioner in Haulting,
And Academy of Revoulting:
Hee'd slide from King, and leading Trump,
At second leap ith' Throne wou'd jump;
Then in Contempt of King and Crown,
Wou'd file a Model of his own,
Of Monarchy by blotting date
To set up Standard of the State;
As Sect of Hypocrites and Sainters
Conspired with the Covenanters,
Planting Sedition in the Nation,
By Discipline of Reformation:
With Trumpet Spiritual, and Drum,
Thus to Reform all Christendom;
Who by Rebellion and Confusion,
Brought Hierarchy to dissolution:
The Israelites, that at a stroak
Cut off both Monarchy and Yoak,
Sprinkled their posts with Royal Blood,
And made their passage through the Flood;
Whilst they the Throne at home possess,
And made the Land a Wilderness,
Lead by a Cloud of Smoak and Thunder,
Confirm'd by many a Sign and Wonder;
Who had their Champions for the Cause,
Their Patriarch's to render Laws;
Wherewith the Nation they perplext,
Blasphem'd in gloss of holy Text,
Which they proclaim'd with Trump and Ralley,
Not in the Mount, but in the Valley:
However, Hogan was Translator,
The Devil sure was Propagator;
And Rebel-Scot compriz'd the Tables,
The dung that issu'd from the Stables
Of these proud Steeds, (such were the Rites
Of the the new-moulded Israelites)
Hypocrisie, and Covenants;
Urim, and Thummim of the Saints;
Thus like the fagg end of the Rump,
For King of Spades the Club was Trump,
Who by subverting Monarchy,
To set up Dagon-Liberty,
Brought in their Jewels and their Plate,
And made a moulton Calf o'th' State:
However, they the spoyl did share,
Hogan did ride the former Mare,
Hee'd spurr a Horse clear out of breath,
And many a one he rid to death.
Thus mounted a prodigious pair,
Like Garragantua and his Mare
On th' Elephant, some call him Pego,
Encountering with little Deigo;
A Delos floating on the flood,
Some call him Monster of the Wood;
Some of the deep with Scailes and Fins,
Some Dedalus with flying wings,
VVhich in the Sun wou'd often flutter,
And with his Tallow melt his Butter:
But whither they were Wings, or Sayles
Of Canvas full two thousand Ells
He took, with fifty more he stitches
With Cord of Pack for Vest and Breeches,
Cut round, and bagging a-la-mode
De Fleming, with Streat Cannions sow'd;
Shapt like Bragmardoes with a Spunge-hole,
And spacious Draw-bridge at the Bung-hole;
With hook to Dublet fasten'd close,
And not his Dublet to his Hose,
After invention of Hautechassade,
Which serv'd for Close-Stool, and for Closet;
He made a Cup-board of his Trunk,
In Lavander lockt geer for Punk,
Wherein he kept his Roast and Sod,
His Pickle-Herring and his Cod,
His Pitch, his Butter, and his Chees,
For Garters bobbing at the Knees;
With Flagons, Kilderkins, and Pitchers,
After the manner of the Switzers:
His Magazien was in his Hose,
And on his Sleeves he wip't his Nose;
His Napkins stuck upon his Skirts,
And made a Towel of his Shirts.

His Arms, were Sword and Pistol, such
Queens Pocquet hight, Geneva touch;
And for his Armour, as on Record,
Of Jean Van Paw Van Reed Van Becord,
Display'd at large by Paul Van Reyden
In Chamber of Accounts at Leyden,
Were taken up five thousand Tun
Of polish't Ir'n, with Ball and Gun.

His Motto, Jason and the Fleece,
And had a notable Head-piece,
(Who tho' a gross one oft wou'd boast
Himself a Witt, like Quixots Host)
Inlay'd with Brass; and for his Crest,
A Ship display'd with back and brest,
On Billow Rampant, with full Sayls,
Ermin'd with Cod, and Herring Scales.

Arm'd Cap ape, Top and Top-gallant,
With ribs of Oak out-launc't Asailant,
On rowlling Waves cutting Indenture,
Donquixoting upon Adventure;
And every thing bore Sayl on Main,
Was but a Windmill of his Brain,
VVhich hee'd engage, tho' to his loss,
He suffer'd many a deadly toss.
Next, on the Sheep, the little Fray
That Pastur'd in the deep, hee'd Prey,
VVith all device of Art and Hand
Fraught to defeat the scaly band:
He was a famous Engineer,
VVou'd drain the Dikes at Assimeer;
Hee'd track a Salmon by the heel,
Ith' mud, and undermine for Eel:
By Mathematicks he cou'd scale
The height of Top-mast, and of Sayl;
And by Astrology cou'd reason,
VVhen Fish and Butter was in Season:
By Art of Magick cou'd foretell,
VVhen rate of Herring wou'd go well,
And knew by help of little Pugg,
VVhen Cod and Ling wou'd prove a drugg:
By mistery of Divination,
Knew all the Quirts of Navigation.
By Filching Goos cou'd hire a VVind,
And truck with Lapland in its kind;
Others their Sails expose to Gale,
But they expose the VVinds to Sale.
In Palmestry a pretious Fiend,
And had his Trade on's fingers end;
Hee'd groaping Paum a Bargain, and
Wou'd feel the strength on't in his hand;
Hee'd lock the Earnest in his fist,
And sell the Cargo as he list:
Most famous in Astronomie,
Cou'd stear by course of Stars at Sea:
Peirce Needles eye, and cou'd divide
The Poles 'twixt Star and Larboard-side,
With Lightning tear the Clouds asunder,
And when he pleas't, cou'd make it Thunder:
Was in Arithmetick well read,
Cou'd sever shoulders from the head,
And multiplying summ create
And bring the Product to a State.

But 'cause as better Writers still
Describe the Valley with the Hill;
Lest you shou'd think this Belgic Mountain
A Promontory without Fountain;
Let's now unfold by what strange hand
This Prodigy was brought to Land;
Holding to Norm of most authentick,
Set forth in Pancarts of Van Brensick,
And faithfully display'd in short
In Lansman's Herauldry at Dort.

And here, tho' Authours make a sputter,
Whether he Spawn'd from Hog, or Butter,
Or sprung a Magot from the Chees
Of seaven years Milk, in Land of Freez;
Whither I say from Butter-Broath,
Or like his Damm, from Ocean-froth,
The antient Liniage of the Geti;
Whither he sprawl'd from Spirma Cæti;
Or by some Stallion of the Floud
Begot on Monster of the Wood:
It maters not by Sea or Land,
And yet to make you understand
The Paradox, wee'l prove he shall
Be none of These, and yet was All:
For tho amphibious in his Birth,
You'l find he was a Son of Earth,
His Father Alman hight, o'th' race
Of Batavus; and by his place
A Ferriman of Delft, a sneveling
Cur of a Fisher born at Scheveling:
A Boat-swain-Swabber, good at stearing,
The first inventor of Red-herring;
And then for bloat in Chimney hung,
Famous as Hapmouche for Neats-tongue;
Which after raising trade he pickel'd
By stratagem of William Bueckeld:
Who went about with Kops and Dish,
Crying salt Butter, and fresh Fish;
And sold his Hadocks in the Cloysters,
Quick and alive, as we do Oysters,
Cod Frigazees to solace Cud in,
With Oyster-broth, and Salmon Puddin;
He Leyden parsnips cry'd, with Ham
Westphalia at Amsterdam;
And ere he found the trade of Silk,
At Middleburg cry'd Butter-milk:
Hee'd any thing to turn a Penny,
And was Gold-finder e're a Ginny.

He run through every Occupation,
And sum'd up all in Navigation:
Was plaguely industrious, and
Improv'd by Sea, as well as Land:
Hee'd purchas nine-pence with a bawble,
And oft brought nine-pence to a Noble;
He turn'd Toledo into Gun,
And brought Kops Tuchen to a Tun;
He brought a bundle to a smart Load,
And from a Horse became a Cart-load:
Hee'd dive to Hell for farthing Candle,
And make a Candlestick oth' handle;
Of common Shores hee'd make a Mint,
And extract Butter out of Flint;
And tho it often split his Dock,
Yet like good Christian on the Rock,
He alwaies built his hopes, a Dish
That never fail'd the Propuise, Fish;
Hee'd still some hook for a dead lift,
And for a living, made hard shift;
Hee'd feed full hard on every Dish
Of meat, and harder upon Fish;
His Beef with Bacon he wou'd utter,
And lar'd his Bacon with his Butter;
Hee'd buy a Gammon in December,
And feed upon't till week of Ember:
With Roots and Chees serv'd up on Sunday,
And so to Saturday, from Munday;
Hard feeding, working hard, he run
Through all professions under Sun,
Till by vicissitude of Fate
He brought his Calling near a State.

His Ancestors in Cot of Wood,
Were antient Shepheards of the Flood:
With scrib of bate, they cought with Crook
The little Straglers of the Brook;
And when the Flocks together met,
They kept 'em safe in fold of Net.

T' improve the Mystery oth' Hook,
From Neptune now a Farm they took;
A mixt Estate, begining the Land
To take in first on Coast of Zealand.

Hell in a Storm did spring a Leak,
And made their Country of the VVreck;
Their Land became the spoyl oth' Flood,
And Sulphur mixt with Stygian Mud,
The confus'd Atoms into Towns,
And Burroughs leapt; They fixt their Bounds
VVith Cockle-Shells, and with the Pibbles
They pil'd their Churches and their Steeples.
Thus with Gigantick Resolution,
They rais'd a Bable of Confusion;
A watry Bable far more high,
To force the Sea than scale the Sky;
In Ocean deep they dig'd their Ore,
And from the Sea, they fisht the Shore,
And every one upon the Main
Was either Shepheard, or a Swain;
Hermaphrodites oth' sloud, each one
A Gallemauphrey Mermidon,
Van Heer Mac Teige Don John ap Morgan
Th' Atlantic Mauritonian Gorgan,
The Linage of Basiphae,
A Minotourus of the Sea,
The monstrous Whale plow'd from the ground
As rare as honesty is found,
Might Satyrist so soon to th' dish
Find Sauce of Vertues, there's the Fish;
Of Fish and Flesh a hotch-potch hash,
A Pickled-Butter-Brandy-Mash,
Sad Souls Imprison'd in a Bog
Of Flesh, their Brains drencht in a Fog
Like to the Soyl; and as their Nation
So was their place of Habitation,
Their Huyes were Houses, and their Skipps
Upon the Shore were fixed Ships;
On ship-board Gardens with Potados
They planted, large as their Granados:
At home by side of Fire the Fish
From Ocean straight did swim to Dish,
And oft like Burgess place possest,
Not as a dish, but as a Guest.
From Chimny nook they'd angle out,
And catch a VVhiteing or a Trout,
Three Foot six Inches, and a Nail
In length, besides the Head and Tayl;
Each Gally was a house afloat,
Each Tenement a fishing Boat;
In howl of Ships they kept their Shops,
And rais'd Belconyes on round Tops;
Their ships were north and south of Star-board;
They build their houses on the Lar-board;
And all their Gables, and their Porches,
Stood East and VVest, except their Churches;
They planted Arden on the Downs,
And with the waves they wall'd their Towns;
VVho tho' they were a sort of Flood-kerns,
Tenents oth' daile, were still but VVood-kerns;
Terrestrial Mariners, Land-Seamen,
And made a sort of pretty Yeomen:
Upon the Sea they grafted VVoods,
And render'd arable the Flouds;
And what poor Poets sought in vain
To raise their Trophyes on the main,
They did it with succesful hand
VVho plow'd the Shore, and sow'd the Sand:
They hired Æol for their Driver,
And Skipper of the Teem Contriver;
In harnish yoakt from poop to prow
On ridg of billows held the plow;
VVith foaming socket raising furrows
In fallow Seas, with Towns and Burrows,
As Maeslant-Sluice and Monikendam,
From Coast of Brabant to Sparendam,
Audwater, Gorcum, VVorkum, Sceidam,
With Naerdam, Laerdam, Saerdam, Edam
Small herring Creeks, with litle ham
Of Amster-Noter-Roterdam.
Where many a Tenement afloat is,
Built below Landmark on Pilotis,
As Venice er'st amidst of flashes
On Piles, or Dublin upon Kesnes:
To say the sum of all the Swill-pond,
'Tis but in short one general Mill-bond
With Banks and Dikes to water Hams
Disperst into a thousand Dams,
Chaos of Earth and Water, and
The sum and all but Waterland;
A rude and indigested lump
Of Neptunes Vomit like Van Trump,
Nature and Art design'd 'em Skippers,
But the Devil and th' Deeps did make 'em Dippers,
Who oft by powerful Inundation,
Did re-anabaptize the Nation.

Thus they possest both Elements
In common Tayl, but paid no Rents,
Only Bum Borêas a fierce Vapour
Wou'd now and then Arrest a Caper
With Body, Goods, in howl hee'd keep,
Or else disperse in howl of deep;
Somtimes a Fleet hee'd clap in Jayl
As large as Denmark without Bail,
Besides by Britains many a hundred
Condemn'd to pot, Sackt, Sunk, and Plundred:
Somtimes Van Floud by Coast of Main
Upon a Village wou'd distrain;
Then Shiriff Spring with Comitate
Of posse Waves to seise the State,
By breaking Pass through Guard and Sentry
Upon a Shire wou'd force an Entry
With fury bursting through its Bounds
Wou'd drive whole Provinces and Towns,
As once in Zealand leaving seaven
Of Eighteen swept away eleaven,
The Men, the Women, Babes and Rattles,
With all their Moveables and Chattles;
The Waves swept up both Church and People,
And plaid at Leap-frog o're the Steeple;
Thus Nature made their Soyl a Lake
To play the Land at Duck and Drake.

Still for possession of the Fief,
Between the Tenent, and the Chief,
Were many a breach and sally made,
And many a dogged tugg they had,
Whilst she like fickle Fate did stand,
In doubtful case on either hand;
Now Neptune rag'd, now Lansman ror'd,
Now for the Tenent, now the Lord,
Which with the Ocean ebb'd or flow'd
On every side as long as broad;
They occupy'd in common, and
What they by Sea, He got by Land:
Thus Doveland er'st was brought a shore,
And Tiers and Rockland are no more;
Of some the Flouds possession keep,
And others trespass on the deep:
Joint-Tenents of the Seas, and Shires
Like burg of Marvile upon Chiers;
One half the Lantgraves of Lorrain,
And 'tother half the King of Spain.

Long time for Title they did claw,
And tug'd it out at point of Law;
But they th' Elev'n had, and the Twelf
By strength of Dike they held at Delf,
Till setting up Imperial Banner
They made themselves Lords of the Mannor.

Quoth Arnulph then of Germanie,
The Lord in Chief of all the Fee,
Shall these same Villains great'st in Nature
Thus Lord it over Land and Water,
And shall not I possess the Mannor?
Not where the Dolphin sets up Banner:
The soyl is mine, I claim the Rent,
And for the Main, my Element:
Third Dog Lorrain, the Bone did snatch,
And little Parma had a patch;
As far as Rome they flock in Legions
To propagate the lower Regions;
Till Infant did divide the spoyl,
And grew sole Paramont oth' Soyl.

Thus whilst the Beagles of the game
The Belgic Lyon sought to tame,
In pieces tor'n, worry'd alive
They in the Carcass made their Hive;
In Peace and Arms by Pitch or Tar
They still thriv'd best, but best by War,
They Made themselves by most's Undoing,
And built their State on others Ruine,
And therefore always sought by Warring
To keep their Neighbours still a jarring,
So they might but have scope to Stear
They valu'd not, Fight Dog, fight Bear;
Whilst others at the Dikes, or sitting
By the Fire-side did mind their knitting,
Their lousing some, notorious Shavers,
With Tinkers, Coblers, Taylors, Weavers,
Who Tulip-Merchants turn'd when Magot
Of Tulip in the Brain took Fagot;
Some Charcole Weav'd, some Horn, some sticht
Daleboards, and some the Ocean ditcht;
In every Craft by Nature tractive
They were as vigilant as active;
They'd bring a world of Wealth from nothing,
And from no Wool wou'd make rich Cloathing;
They'd brick it without Straw or Moul,
And to a Tyle wou'd render toll;
They had no Mines, yet Gold; no Vine,
Yet wou'd they oft be Drunk with Wine;
No Sauce, yet Fish; no Fire, yet Smoak;
No Flesh, and every one was Cook;
No Hides, yet all were Shooe-makers;
No Wood, and all were Carpenters;
No Flint nor Okom there did grow,
Yet all the Land was Fire and Toe;
They had no Hemp, and yet wou'd utter
A Cargo off with Rope and Butter;
No Flax, nor Smocks, and yet the Lowland
Women did vent a world of Holland
From Cord to Cobweb-twist, as small as
The Lydian Maid that challeng'd Pallas,
Who rather than want Clouts or Towels,
Wou'd Spider-like spin out their Bowels;
Their was not Widdow, Wife, or Maid,
But to a hair she had her Trade,
No Infant, two days old, but tuggs
And got's own living at the Duggs.

Of Manufacture in the rabble,
Industry indefatigable
At old, or else inventing new,
Of Palidores a subtile crew:
They found device for Fish to brood
Ith' Air, and fished for Fowl ith' floud;
Engines and Wings to make men fly
By help of Shallop in the Sky;
They pinion'd Trees, the first with Pitch
And Cord, Icarian wings did stitch:
Of Stone to Steel they sticht a Riddle,
And in the North did point the Needle;
They brought their Latitude to some pass,
And learnt to keep it within Compass;
'Twas they that Letters did invent,
And did their business first in Print;
They sound device of Mortal Gun,
With Engines to correct the Sun:
They shod the Hours with leaden heels,
And made the Minutes run on wheels;
John-Turnspit they transform'd to Jack,
And brought the wheel unto the Rack;
They'd make a Spit spin to the heat
By it self without a bit of Meat;
Some found out Mystery oth' Watch,
And others were upon the Catch,
By Land or Sea; for all were Saylors
By Nature, as the rest were Taylors;
All famous Snips, for Clipping, Coyning,
For filching Cabbage, and Purloyning;
Who Copper-Lace instead of Plate
Wou'd stitch, and All to patch a State.
During which time, they only made
A little shift to Live by Trade;
And now and then in heat of fray,
Betwixt 'em all wou'd light on prey;
Whence they had little to intayl
On Issue, save a few small Sayl:
The whole Cadacum, of the States,
If not Usurpt by Potentates
Might well in time, encreasing stock,
Advance a State upon the Dock;
That Free-will-State which they affect
As nat'rally as they do Sect;
And Alman like industrious be
Improving stock, still kept in fee
On all sides; somtimes he wou'd own
One Landlord, all; and somtimes none,
Who oft his faculty wou'd show
By slipping string to shoot with Bow,
Starting aside with all his Friends
And Foes, to work his private Ends,
Till State assuming he did fall
From Faith, and Loyalty, and all:
To bear a Head was all his grief,
For Alman wou'd be Tayl in Chief,
Who only did occasion wait
To make himself a Lord of State.

This Alman in the prime of age
With Guddy Allgut did engage
At Battabum the Cornish Hugg,
A Buxom Wench, and Jolly Pug,
Who oft together scraping Bacon
At length they found that she had taken:
And as with Females 'tis the custom
To Long, then swallow till they Burst 'um,
You cannot blame, if like another
Lusting, she got a fit oth' Mother;
As Gargamelle long'd for Tripes,
And Juno had a thousand gripes
For Lettices: Venus her Thumpers,
And Julia for her Belly Bumpers;
Some for a Bit abroad, Stoln sweets:
Some Coach and six to crow'd the Streets,
Some for the Coach-man, and some show
Their Passion for Seignior Dildo,
Some Hoods, some Scarfs, some Gowns of Silk,
So Algut long'd for Butter-milk,
Whereon did issue Proclamation
Within, without, throughout the Nation.
To every Pug, and Dary Maid,
Encouragement to draw on Trade,
By bringing in their Butter-Broath,
And Barter take in Wool or Cloath.

This was the first great Jubile
That brought to State-Monopoly
Of Milk and Butter in full brim pots,
Of Curds and Whey, and Churns, and Cream pots;
Which to prevent a subtile Drab
Found out the Art of Bana-Clab,
A viscous Drug, and clammy mixture,
By Chymist hight Irish Elixar,
A rich restorative by Legions
So famous sung in Forrain Regions.

This was the time when Maids and Lads
Began in Troops to Muster Pads;
When Men like Women rid aside,
And Wenches like the Men did stride
In Pannel rais'd with woodden Crupper
And Gird of Hay, a Valiant Trooper,
With Wadd for Cloath, and Holsters turning
In little Links to hold the Churn in,
Strong Head-stalls rich of plated hair,
And Native Boots of brawny Bare;
When Ropes were Girds, and Churns were Stirrups,
And Maids of Milk-sops made their Syrrups;
When People gulpt it without Spoons,
The first of Butter-milk-Dragoons,
Where you might see them near and far,
On Pannels some, some on a Car;
Posting to Town all Sexes striving
As hard as ever they cou'd drive in;
Nor did she cease to swallow down
As fast as they cou'd Post to Town,
Still crying Butter-milk, some say
Had not left calling to this day,
But that good Alman somwhat Wiser
Began a little to chastise her.
Is this th' effects of longing? marry
This is a way for to miscarry,
Besides the learned Schoolmen say
In drinking Butter-milk and Whey
With such abominable lusting,
Ther's as much fear of belly bursting:
As is in Love, or Porrige-Pease,
Confine thy Luxury, and cease,
For if by this thou issue bilk,
Thou'rt damn'd as black as Butter-milk:
Who notwithstanding all his Council,
Did tope, and Soak, and swallow down still,
And never ceas'd till she had tipt in,
Twelve Tuns, three Bushels, and a Pipkin.

But oh the fate of sweets! The sauce!
To think what surfeits, squeams, and throws,
She suffer'd by impostumation
Of the Intestines, whose contagion
Did so encrease, she was tis said
Upon the matter brought to bed;
Where she of something did oppress,
To be deliver'd had success,
Convey'd an Odour to their Noses,
So strong, but not so sweet as Roses;
And tho' it was before her reckning,
By sower faces, screeks, and beckning,
Finding she was not far from Labour,
They send for Midwife, Nurs, and Neigbour
Where in short space she fell asunder,
And brought to th' world, The worlds great Wonder,
A warlick Fish that bore a Pack
Of Magazeens upon his back,
A Son of Neptune, and of Mars,
Full fraught with Engines for the Wars,
Whose monstrous Birth did put Divines
So too't, and now is bore in Signes.

Whoop! quoth Doll Midnight, lucky Star,
It is the very God of War;
A Champion from his Birth, who comes
With Millions arm'd of Pikes and Drums;
Nature hath gin him tools enough
Quoth Gossip, let himself find Stuf,
You know that makes the workman—Tools.
Know least to use 'em have most Tools;
Were, I to choos for my part mates
Id'e have him hung at other gates;
These Arms were never made to weild,
A naked blade in Venus field.
Gossip, how is't? I wish you joy,
Upon my life a bouncing Boy:
A roaring Bully, quoth another
The very Picture of the Mother;
The stately Forehead, Chin. Nay, rather
It bears the Image of the Father,
So like old Alman in his Youth
As he had spit him out on's mouth.

Whilst thus the Gossips talkt, and tosted
Their Noses, Messenger is Posted
To Alman, for to bid him joy,
An Ib Pæan for the Boy:
Which when he heard, he run like mad
For very joy to see the Lad;
But when he came; Bless me! what's here?
A Pike-man, or a Cannoneer!
Guns? Crosses? Crowns? what mean these smal Trades!
Bart'lomew Babe! A Jack of all Trades?
For Arms and Shoulders, Wings! A Tayl
For Breech! A Claw for Fist and Nayl!
Canons for Arms! A Cross for Tongue too?
This is a Female, tak't among you.

No Sir, 'tis of the better sort
Quoth Gossip, there is reason for't,
For tho' I find no Lady-Geer,
His marks all Masculine appear,
These Hierogliphicks cannot mean us,
Whose Characters speak Mars, not Venus.

These very Instruments you mention
Shall show both Gender and Declension,
By which, quoth he, I'le circumvent
And overthrow your Argument:
Or what's the Reason else quoth he
They call a Peece or Canon, She?

Not so, quoth Nurs, you may discharge
Your Argument, you are too large,
But cause as Learned Doctors Teach,
The touch-hole is so near the Breech.

And is not that the very cause,
Good Gammer Haunch, to come more close,
That Ship and Bark, Sea-Coach, and Car,
Altho' a pow'rful Man of War,
The learned Phylologues do render,
By Epethite of Female Gender,
That to her Port holes, and her Tuns,
She beareth Lading, Men and Guns?

In sooth good Allman, your Allusion,
Like Gun shot does but breed Confusion;
For did you ever hear since Adam,
A Man of War shou'd be a Madam;
Cause she bears peeces to her Port-holes,
But rather to her Peeces Sport-holes?
But that a Ship is cal'd a She,
By congruous Analogie,
As 'tis discust by Learned Hern,
Is Cause the Pump's so near the Stearn,
No, quoth a Gossip, tugging Bottle,
Well read in Problem Aristotle,
I find you're out, and think 'tis rather
Cause she bears all twixt VVind and Water.

In Barbara discust, you're spent,
And cast in your own Argument;
For what denote the Guns, but VVind?
And Fish is purely VVater-kind.

Quoth Nurs, you vary from your Text,
Women and Ships are of a Sex
Cause neither Ships nor VVomen stand
In use, unless they be well Man'd;

VVhich we in reason cannot call Man,
But this sweet Babe, quoth she, is All-man,
An Issue, such as ne're had motion:
VVithin the confines of the Ocean,
However some may call him Monster
If you aright the Baby Conster,
You'l find he is ordain'd by Fate,
To Act some Prodigy of State.

A Monster Gossip! Such another,
Ne're hatcht in Affrick Monsters Mother.
Am I All man to have all Fish
By every Pug thrown in my Dish?
Were it but either Man or Mous,
I wou'd not value it a Lous;
Pagan or Jew: 'slid here's a bearing,
Nor Fish, nor Flesh, nor good read Herring,
Oh quoth a Gossip standing by,
See, 'tis the very Fathers Eye,
His Nose Shapt like a Fishers Hook,
As like the Sire as it can look.
The platter Mouth and Face.—This brats Face!
'Twere e'en the same an Owll, or Cats Face:
Well, grant the Child, quoth he, more grace,
Have it the fathers Eye or Face,
It has the Mothers tayl I feel,
For 'tis as slippery as an Eel.

Whilest All-man held in this Debate
About the Child, not minding Mate;
Who something impotent you know,
In what Condition in the Straw,
And through her Labour not so lusty
To tug at Bottle, being thirsty,
Cryes out ho, Gossips; You same bandy
Leg'd wittal, reach me here some Brandy;
Some brandy Gossip. Oh! I faint!
Made honest All-mans heart to pant.
So speedy after former Thirsting,
Lest this shou'd prove another Lusting,
Who finding she was almost Spent,
Through labour for Encouragement.
Being naturally enclin'd to pitty,
As gently he reply'd as Witty;
My Duck, that did'st so well fulfil,
A womans part, shalt have thy will.

Have you where men do ballance Cargo,
And winds on Ships do set imbargo
Where Teeth of Ir'n in swelling Seas,
Do bind the Men of War to th' Peace,
Beheld the Cars, and Teems, and Sledges;
The Casks on Bungholes, some on Edges,
Tumbling bour from side to side,
With Hooks and Slings about the Tide?
Porters and Drawes with all dispatches,
To stove the Barrells under hatches,
Or on the Decks as they contriv'd 'em,
Runing as if the Devil driv'd 'em,
Like certain Sage, the Eight of Greece,
To try experiment on Chees,
Down hillock bowls to see who'd bin most
Forward, and old Nick take the hinmost;
So might you see the Spirits jumbling,
And Buts 'ore one another tumbling;
Tuns, Barrels, Pipes, all thither posting,
Whil'st Nurs and Gossips were a tosting;
A gratulation to the Elder,
Or els a health to Hans en Kelder;
Which rais'd again a new dispute,
Amongst the VVives of best repute;
Or raw, like water they shou'd share it,
Or muld, as some drink Sack and Claret;
For if, quoth one, this thirst proceed,
From heat of Labour, 'tis agree'd,
That taken thus, it is most quenching;
Or if the Butter milk intrenchng,
About the Banks wou'd overflow,
It is best Physic taken raw.

Quoth Nurs, you are a VVitch in Physick,
(Laughing as she had got the Tysick,)
Your Culpeper I thus defeat,
For if this Thirst proceed from heat,
'Tis better burn't, a rule from Mother,
I learn't, One heat expels another;
Or if from deluge that oppresses,
The Vital parts with milky Messes:
Still I say burnt, in all respects,
Contraries work the best effects:
Besides, 'tis most restaurative,
And fit lost spirits to retrieve;
As Choqualet a Physick Drug,
Or Cordialls do exceed a Jug.

I grant, quoth he, by pure contaction,
And help of Chymical Extraction;
With gentle heat purg'd by degrees,
That Spirits may transcend the Lees,
As much when Melanchollies oppress,
As Possit-Sack transcends a Copp'ress:
But to be burnt on Dish and Platter,
In Vulcans trough like puddle-water,
Scorcht, Sing'd, and hiz'd with every tug,
And heat of Ir'n, its like a Drug;
Where Nose for rosted Tost doth paddle,
And Bishops foot hath bin the Ladle,
In tin Olimbeck born to scoff ye,
By Bashaw Senior named Coffee.
And was not Brandy oft before,
Burnt in Olimbeck o're and o're?

To burn, quoth Gos. is to refine,
And makes that Gold that was but Mine;
Which Gold being often purg'd, a notable
Vertue of heat, makes that Gold potable,
And therefore fittest for a State,
And Dignity of Potentate;
As in some Lands by frequent Scalding,
They hold degree of place and Calling,
Like Hero Neopolitan,
Till seven times burnt, no Gentleman.

I find an old VVhore is no Maid,
Quoth All man, Gos. you have your Trade,
You want but stock: Let what oppose,
The Gossips still will have their dose.
VVith that to work they 'gin to settle,
And down goes Plater, Dish and Kettle;
Kives Cauldrons, Pans, whil'st Gossip burnishes
The houshold Plate, with Pots, and Furnishes.

Now she begun a fresh Assey
VVith Spirits strong to conquer Whey,
Where Pots and Pottles 'gin to rally,
Mustring their Forces for fresh Sally,
Destroying fiercely all they bore 'em,
The Gossips burning all before 'em,
Make ready there, present, give Fire,
And charge me up a double tire;
Charge and discharge, quench, fire, fill, still
Faire Madam Allgut, crying fill;
Still in extream in every sens,
All Hony or Surreverence;
And where she only sunk a Bottle
Before, she now intomb'd a Pottle.

I find it is a second longing,
Quoth All-man, still the Gallons thronging;
But if it be for such another
Prodigious tool as this, the other
I strange, she long'd not by St Denis,
For th' Stigian Lake or gulph of Venice;
For if that flux of creamy tide,
A brood of Neptunes tipyfi'd,
(If Destiny don't overtwack us)
This sure shou'd prove a spark of Baccus:
But I cou'd wish the Court dismist,
And that my Allgut might desist,
For if this course be all their Refuge
From floud of Churn, and Milky deluge,
With Fire and Water thus to load 'em
'Twill be like Zealand meeting Sodom,
Which with their frequent gibes and frumps
Did put good Allman to his dumps;
For tho' he was himself a Duellist,
And exquisit true Pantagruelist,
Yet so well read in Moralisms,
And old Hypocrites Aphorisms,
That he by Evidence and Proof
Knew when hee'd not, and when enough:
He cou'd distinguish Vice from Vertue,
Mean from excess, and cou'd insert you
Authority of all the Schools,
With all their Maxims, and their Rules;
Cou'd put two Toos in equal Ballance,
Weighing Sobriety with Gallons,
And in a hair-breadth make the Beam
To yield to either side extream:
Which drove him to his Dailecticks
Ranging throw all the Schools of Scepticks
And Septs of moral Doctors thinking
To learn to Gossips mean in drinking:
An idle hope, for tho' he spent
Much time in weighty Argument,
Yet did they never cease off quaffing,
Some making Horns, some Mouths, some Laughing,
Till foot to foot, twelve Pipes of Nants
She drain'd between her, and her Aunts,
Five Gallons at each draught, a Bolus
For Fuscus and his fellow Folus.

But wou'd you see the blest Effects
Of drinking high in female Sex,
When Algut by her Gossips seconding
At length began to cast up reckoning,
A thwacking Piece by Fates prediction
That bore the Fathers superscription,
And lively shape, for all expence
That made Sufficient Recompence.
When Hogan in the Sparks begun
Like Vermin cherisht by the Sun
To spraul and stretch him, like a Snail
In summer heat that creeps from shell
The Whelp begins e're nine days old
His naturals Casements to unfold,
By which the Spirits he espy'd
Flaming in Throat, extended wide,
VVhich overflowing all the Nation
Produc'd that fiery Inundation
VVhich long lain hid in veins oth' Earth
At Pilleri at length broke forth,
And Ætna Mount, confounding Legions,
The Chymnies of the lower Regions,
So well decipher'd by the Loyal
Don VVilchelsea Associate Royal.

VVhilst she continu'd in this pickle,
And merry VVives the Tankers tickle,
She, whilst in VVomb the Hogan mounts
Began to cast up her Accounts,
At ev'ry belch throwing whole Butts out,
VVith gulps and gripes spewing her Guts out,
Till overstraining made a shift
To give the Hogan Heer a lift
From lower Orb, whence having sight
Oth' flame (as Children love the Light)
Thither by meer Instinct he took
A Cours, like Fish against the Brook;
Sayling throw borders of Pamphilia,
By straits of Abdomen and Illia,
The Frog on sparwling Foot and Hand
Towards the Coast of Gutterland,
VVhence to assist his feeble motion
Each Belch a VVave upon the Ocean
Gave him a toss that set him forward,
Stearing East and by VVest of Norward,
Till by a Compass from Antartick
Of Microcosm to Pole of Artick,
In roof advanc't, the shortest cut
He orderly walkt out a-foot,
Full three years old, a time the Fool
Might prettily walk by a Stool,
And therefore for to give more proof
Of Manly parts, did trot a-hoof
In right hand bearing six Brie Gammons,
And in his mouth a shoal of Salmons,
The Left a Role of Butter bore
About a Tun, some say 'twas more,
But that they judg, (as there's some fear in,)
Scorcht by the way, it lost ith' bearing;
From's little Eyes some Scales did fall
About the sise of Canon Balls,
Keis douchen, squez'd from th' Curds; the fees
Of labouring Gossips, some say Chees;
With Hieroglyphicks many another
Full as prodigious as the other,
And every one a Type at least
Oth' State, or Nature of the Beast.

Thus betwixt Fluxing, and the Pox
They brought to life the Butter-box;
A Vapour mixt of Form and Matter
Like VVill oth' wisp of Fire and Water,
His Matter Butter, Nants his Form,
Lightning and Wet produc't the Storm,
A Lump inspired by a fire
Stole by Prometheus his Sire
Not from above but th' lower Regions
And since hath animated Legions
VVith VVars, Sedition, and Confusion,
To bring the Lands to dissolution:
Dear VVars! the Hogans furnice, Duel
Of neighbouring States maintains the Fuel,
VVhence from dear purchas'd Ore the Gold
He wou'd extract, tho't cost sev'n Fold:
Inspir'd with Flame of sublimation
Hee'd forge a State by separation,
And still at Empire did aspire
Altho he got it throw the fire.
VVith Thumps, and Blows, like Milk in Churn,
The Butterbox to Cream did turn
Of VVealth and Trade, talk but of Peace
You'd make him melt in his own grease.

Altho' this Birth seem strange, and new
Yet is it not so strange as true,
For tho she went full three years out
She had not in so large a bout;
This Tray of Years, for all their cavil
It was not a triennial Travel,
But as some travell when they're close
Asleep, those brain Noctambuloes
How e're they seem to foot or Ride,
Do still ly snug on back or Side,
So Allgut set, or walkt amongst 'em
Or lay on back, as 'twas the custome.

And tho' it was beyond the time at
Which Mortals go with in that climat,
Yet by Debate of best Physicians,
And Comentators Expositions
'Tis held, (who weighing well the Nature
Oth' beast, his Elegance and Stature)
To Birth of such prodigious Brood
Less limits cou'd not be allow'd;
As oft with Seaman it falls out
Whilst seven Years Voyage he tug about
The fruitful Wife some odd Years after
Hee's gon, brings forth a Son, or Daughter.
And Ladys make it but a sport
To appear big whole Years at Court.
As Garagant, and mighty Gomer,
And Neptunes on the Nymph in Homer,
Whose time of Bearing, it appears
They did not count by Months, but Years:
A proper space to form such Natures
Apportion'd to their Shapes and Statures;
By Destiny you must believe, sent
To act some wonderful Atchievment.

Now for the place, whether hee's bore
Like Propuise in the Flux ashore,
Forc't by each raging Wave to Ride
A course, like Ships drive by the Tide;
Or whether to express his Nature
Like Salmon fray against the water;
Whither it was through Mouth or Ear,
Or Nose, that's neither here nor there;
Such strange Production streight I'le show,
Is not against Dame-Natures Law;
For tho' the course be somwhat wide
And Badger-like doth hop a-side;
Such deviation from immutable
Nature, to such a Birth's most sutable,
And typifies a monstrous State
To monstrous Feat predestinate:
Thus Bacchus sprung from thigh of Jove,
And from the Sea the Queen of Love,
Castor and Pollux throw the Legs
Of Læda, from a brace of Eggs:
The Sire of great Pantagruel
Sprung through the Ear of Gargamel,
And through the Ear from pregnant Brain
Of Jove, Minerva took her strain,
Whose Birth her faculties imparts,
That prov'd the Queen of wit and Arts;
So Hogan strove, the hopeful Youth
To make his Salaport at mouth:
That to a hair describes him home
Who was aspiring from the Womb;
For as some Fools will still be Riming,
So Hogan ever wou'd be climbing
From Hemp to Rope, from Rope to Cord,
From Land to Shore, from shore aboard:
Hee'd spring a leap against a Wall,
Or on a Rope, like Jacob Hall:
With Elm, or Oak wou'd climb or grapple,
To catch an Owl, or else an Apple;
Then to a bough like Squirril cling,
And from the top wou'd take his swing;
Hee'd leap to Chariot from the Ass,
And was old Devil at Millors Pass;
At Summer hault hee'd baffle Gymnast,
Turn down-side up, and fore-side hin-most,
And like Erasmus, hang ith' Ayr
Of Neuters, perpendicular.
At Cable-Rope he was old Dog,
On Belly scrawling like a Frog;
One Leg about the Cable twist,
And 'tother hanging as he list,
Sliding along by Right or Left,
And equally his Arms wou'd shift;
Somtimes contracted like a Leech,
Stretching his Head, trailing his Breech;
Now Hemp-gut Spider, Rope ascendent
With Face erect, and Belly pendent
On Arms and Legs, wou'd set and heave
And to the end his passage weave;
At last like Jack of various shapes,
Not Pudding Jack, a Jack-a-naps
Wou'd play such pranks wou'd make Fools wonder,
Somtimes above, and somtimes under;
Somtimes by hand, then take a throw
About, and hang by Foot or Toe;
Now by a Tooth, and when hee'd please,
Wou'd turn his Head Antipodes;
Then take a frisk about, and charm
Spectators, hanging by an Arm,
Or by the Chin, like Crowders Fiddle,
Or like a Munky by the Middle,
Whence tumbling o're round as a hoop
Hee'd spring to Quarter-Deck, or Poop,
From Deck to Round-Top, and as Valiant,
From Round-Top sore it to Top-Gallant,
Whence in a trice he wou'd descend
As fast as Rope at Plumet end,
And ne're had greater fall, or higher
Than when he highest did aspire;
To Scepter hee'd aspire from Awl,
And to a Kingdom from a Stall;
From a vile Sneeser to stiff Smoker,
And from a Pedler to a Broaker;
Hence to a Bankrupt Trade Abuser,
And from a Bankrupt to a Us'rer;
Hence to the Devil, a sure Bate,
And from the Devil to a State,
And was not satisfi'd, the Elfe
To be at Head, but Head it self.

Thus we have prov'd his Birth in Matter,
And From, adæquat to his Nature,
Who in his life by practice try'd
What in his Birth was Typifi'd,
Confirm'd long since by many an Inny
As well as Scaliger and Pliny.

When Allman saw his manly Image
Display'd in a successful lin'age,
Such Figures, Characters, and Emblems,
And of himself such flat resemblance,
Surpriz'd with joy, which did abound
With leaps, and shouts, he tore the ground
For very Pride that he had one Child
That bore the Image of a Man-Child.

Grammercy Gossip now crys he,
You labour to effect, I see;
Whoever rid the former Mare
You've done your business to a hair;
I'm sure whate're the Dam betide,
This is well Born oth' Fathers side;
Howe're it came by Flux or Purging,
This is (quoth he) of my own Forging,
An off-spring pure Legitimate,
And Issue proper for a State:
Then falling down, the Babe he kist,
The Brawny Neck, and Bacon Fist;
Allman still slabbering, like a Bear
Licking in shape the Infant Heer,
And cling'd about his Neck so fast,
Till in his mouth he breath'd his last:
But whether 'twas excess of joy
As some affirm, to see the Boy,
As Dionysius dy'd with Laughing,
And Sophocles the Tankards quaffing;
Or whether grief to see the other,
Or the miscarriage of the Mother
Through Indignation of First-born,
As Don Moreno of the Horn;
Or as some hold by Topicks stronger,
He dy'd, 'cause he could live no longer,
We find not since a syllable
In Book of Kings, or Chronicle;
Thus went the Hound; the Bitch his Wife
Surviving, barkt away her life.

Provision now with one consent
Of Gossip's made for nutriment
Of Butter fourty-four Kops touchen,
And thirty-five of Gammons douchen,
Of Brandy ninety-seaven Barrachos
With Herring, Cod, besides Pottachoes,
Twelve Tuns with Kelderkin, and Can,
His ord'nary quotidian
To furnish him with oyl of Udder;
Besides six Nurses, and the Mother;
Thus Hogan like prodigious Spawn,
Thriving apace, came bravely on.

E're we proceed, we must suborn
Our Muse to turn to our first-born
Before the Monster you heard tol'd,
The Sea Leviathan, who sold
His Birth-right for a dish of froth,
A mess of Neptunes pickled broath,
Who tho' he had the start of him
In Flood, than gold had rather swim.

The Gossips now as 'tis the custom,
Thinking thus gently to have Nurst him
With Butter strong, and Nants supplying
The place of Pap, in Ladles flying,
With Cordials strong, such as provoke
Throwing whole Buckets down his Throat,
Which mov'd no more the water-brock,
Than Gem a Hog, or Æsops Cock;
They cast but Pearl before a Swine,
His Nector was a dish of Brine,
Of Pickle Ocean, one fresh Dose
To him was Meat, and Drink, and Close.

Then with their Engines, Knives, and Nayls,
Began to riflle off the Scales,
And Warlike Engines that surrounded
His Martial ribs in body founded,
Which stuck as fast as Graft to Stock,
Or Pearl in native Womb of Rock;
At which the Monster set up howl
Whilst Neighbour Haunch brought in a bowl
Of lukewarm water, to have tost
And scrub'd the Babe, but labour lost,
Who tho' they laid with all their might on
They washt no Æthiop, but a Triton;
Which sparkling gently o're each wing,
From Lap of Nurse he takes a spring;
To him the floud more choyce than Butter
For joy he first began to flutter;
Then mounting Head, on Tayl he rears
And div'd in dish o're Head and Ears:
Gossip the Child! Alack! Alack!
The Child! Nor cou'd they pull him back
Till he had quaft off every sope,
In spite of Bellarmine and Pope;
Gossip quoth Nurs, the 'tother dish,
A trusty Trout, drinks like a Fish;
Who swallow'd down fast as they bore
A score at once, and twenty more
Avail'd no more within those Joals.
Than Fellow-Commoner in Pouls.
Chip oth' old block; if he proceed
'Twill prove a Gossoper indeed
Quoth Nurs; what faint for Dug? I grieve
It should be said, fetch in the Kieve;
Who too impatient of delay,
Making at Kieve a fresh Assay,
Like Cat in Cream-pot over-shot,
Or like the Dog in Porrige-pot,
Pursuing bottom deep, pull'd down
The Cask, which stuck upon his Crown,
Who lay'd in state of Infantry,
The Cradle serv'd for Canopy.

They had but there a slender truce
When he began to make at Sluce;
For do what do they cou'd invent,
Hee's still for Native Element;
And Hogan too upon the matter
Wou'd still be dabling in the Water,
Who as unkindly brookt the Land
As fish to breath upon the Strand.

Finding the Nature of the Beast,
Their Gammons cou'd not well digest;
On Sledges bore, they now advance
To Cistern where they fir'd their Nants,
Two hundred thirty foot in compass,
Where they did claw it off to some pass,
With Artificial Pipe to sup
It out at side, the Gossips Cup.
After Invention of Jean Denio,
Fit to inspire a Hogan Genio,
Which spying streight, he sprung from Sledg,
And drain'd the Bottom from the Edg;
Till sucking up it grew so thin,
And spewing out, he left none in.

The Wives at last to try Conclusion,
Do all put on a Resolution,
After a long debated motion,
To bring Leviathan to th'Ocean;
For if, quoth they, this double Jugg
Will scarce bear out one single tugg,
To give the Babe his due Proportion,
Must either bring him to the Ocean,
Or bring the Ocean to the Shore:
With that unto the flood hee's bore,
Where turning tayl, (much of a thing Dum)
Farewel, quoth he, I'm in my Kingdom.

Have you beheld a Beast oth' Water,
(Sea-Calf or Veal, it makes no matter;)
When Trespassing, caught in the pound,
And with the draught is run aground;
When he is brought to fatal shore
For want of wet begins to roar;
Gasping for Breath, and choak't with Air,
When hee's enlarged from the snare,
(As good Miletus, a kind Blade,
Of buying Fish did use a Trade
By Ransom to enlarge again
The little Denisons oth' Main)
With what swift motion and delight
He to the Ocean makes his flight?
Frisking a jigg in dancing Sea,
A Pæan to his Liberty;
With Cutting, Capering, Belching, Quaffing,
Made Hogan break his heart with Laughing;
And much ado they had to keep
The Fool from following in the deep.

The Gossips when they saw the Play
Had chang'd the Scene, you see (quoth they)
What's bred ith' Bone, won't out oth' Flesh;
Whereon begun discourse a fresh
To know the depth and mystery
In Natural Philosophy,
And proper terms of Gossips, gawdy,
Some Wise, some otherwise, some Bawdy;
At last conclude without more ado
That he of t'other was a shadow,
Who wou'd in time obtrude the Bore,
A State on Sea, as well as shore.

Return'd to Dam in labouring Bed,
Sh--- Gossip ho! the Child is dead:
No (quoth the Nurs) he is but sent
A Voyage to Native Element
For Belly-geef, a little way
A Grazing, Fishing I shou'd say.
And has he suck enough? O'ds digger
Up to the Ears, he Swims in Liquor,
Where he his Nose may toast and steep,
And find new wonders in the deep;
This pleased Algut to the heart,
Only replying, Friends must part;
For all her joy was in the other,
And he no less fond of his Brother;
For which himself he oft apply'd,
With full carrier about the tyde,
On Post of Wood with many a leading Nag,
Such as the Youth bestow'd on Breadingbag.
When he the Stew'rt conducted good
Six stories high to view his stud;
As those at Lyons and Mountferets,
That keep their Stables in their Garrets;
Which at a season so immature
Exprest a World of his good Nature:
If you aright the Hogan conster,
And he as fond of Brother-Monster,
At whose approach through th' Waves wou'd burst,
Shaking his tayle like Dog at Crust,
In pocquet he to entertain him,
Still brought like School-Boy of Bianum,
When he on back of Fish did cross
The Flood to old Puteolos;
Which th'other recompenc'd, did pay
In Shoal of Ling, and Herring fray
He Barrel'd up through Sea had bore,
And there disgorg'd 'em on the Shore.
Then sheathing up each fork, and small fin,
Mounted like Simon on the Dolphin;
One while the Monster he wou'd stride,
Then light again to see himself ride;
Mounting again with Tryumph loud,
Like Don Arion with his Croud,
Hee'd take a Caper o're the Main,
And in a Minute Tack again;
With sweet Embraces, mixing Joals,
A pretty brace of loving Souls.
They parted with less sence of sorrow,
For joy of meeting the next morrow.

Thus did the Royal Pair enjoy all
Their time, of Twelve-months a pair-Royal;
Till catcht by th' back, the younger Brother
Hogan, had got a fit oth' Mother;
A Surfeit strong with eating Fish,
Or else a Dropsie licking dish;
But say it was with Fish, (that's all one
Whither it were with Cod or Salmon)
So ill, that he was forc'd ('tis said)
Sick as a Horse to keep his Bed,
Who in few days did grow so poor
That he was brought ev'n to Deaths door:
Which soon alas! broak up the greeting
Oth' Brethren, by the Saints call'd Meeting;
And having gift, to bear the loss
Of Patience, took up his Cross
Which bore in mouth, he turn'd up tayl
For New Plantation setting Sayl
To Forrain Lands, Tylting along-a
By Coast (Corea) to Cucunga;
Where whither Herecane in Strait,
Or very grief for Fellow-mate
Being taken up a Wreck, hee's sent
To Germany, a Complement
To pusle Intellectuals high
Of Wits Emperial Majesty:
Next to the Viriues, who have gift
Of Miracle at a dead lift;
Where Monarch great of Laws and Rule
Sits President in Royal School
Of Mysteries Interpretators,
Of Nat'ralists, and best Translators,
In proper notions for to render
Reason of Nature, Sex, and Gender;
So well in lofty Measures chanted
By Van de Groot, and after painted
With all the Prodigies set forth,
And figures of mysterious Birth.

But oh blind Fate! badder! and badder!
With Hogan, yet the case was sadder!
Who scarce well up begins to ride
Posting on Steed to Stage of Tide;
Where missing Mate in doleful fits
Hee'd almost run out of his wits,
And grew what betwixt Dish and Bowl
A grievous Mourner and sad Soul:
And tho' he's oft told of his Folly
So deeply plung'd in Melancholly,
Sad as the Dolphin for the Boy,
Or Ariadne for her Joy.
He rang' about for fellow-Creature,
And prov'd an excellent Tide-Waiter,
Where any kind of Trade to save
Your, Life above or under wave,
Dead or alive cou'd make ashore
But paid him tribute less or more,
Where he at Seat of custom set,
For all was Fish came to his Net.
With Hose atruss, and naked Leg
Hee'd Fish for chick of Salmon Egg,
Then with a geer of pin and incle,
With bate of Crab, and Perriwinkle:
A sport the youth did much delight in
Hee'd bob for Mac'kril, Grig and Whiting;
With Hooks and Grapples, a device
To trap Sea-Vermin, Fleas and Lice
Lobsters and Crabs to sprawl in Fennel,
From womb of Rock he wou'd unkennel:
Hee'd rob the Fishers, then for manners
Wou'd scrub his paunch against the Panniers:
Hee'd yawn at Butterflyes, and flutter
Up to the Ears in Cream and Buttter:
Hee'd bark at Thunder; from the Rain
Wou'd fly for shelter in the Main;
Out-run the Wind, and when hee'd done
Wou'd stand and Piss against the Sun:
Hee'd Flea the Fox, and Shoe the Gees,
And thought the Moon was made of Chees:
Hee'd from one Sack take double Toll,
And oft rob Peter to pay Paul:
Hee'd turn his Hose into a Wallet,
And of his Fist wou'd make a Mallet:
Hee'd flea a Flint to purchase Gains,
And turn an Ass to get the Grains:
Hee'd truck a Cargo off unseen,
And put one ripe betwixt two green:
Hee'd climb the Sky on Masts of Barks,
And hop'd when it did fall for Larks:
Hee'd lath the Rivers, and for Fish
Wou'd drain the Marshes with a dish;
Rob Wears, pinch Nets, and had a Hook
By filching Trade in every Brook;
In every Boat he had an Oar,
And had a Boat for every Shore:
On shoal of Cod, and Herring fray
He never mist to make a prey,
And wou'd with all his Neighbours stickle
To get 'em home in any pickle:
Hee'd bite at Carps, and swallow Gouggions,
Digest small crimes, and vomit huge ones:
Hee'd hold a Conger by the Tayl;
Hee'd saddle Sharks, and yoak the Whale;
Make Teems of Tuns, in hopes at length
By means of Stratagem, and strength,
(As he from pot throw boyling Froth
Skims out the Flesh, and leaves the Broth)
From Deep the Rocks to bear on Back
Where Brother-Hog became a Wrack,
Unto his sweet Memorial bent
With these to pile a Monument.
Nor did he here confine Devotion
He next assays to drain the Ocean.
By springing Ponds, and digging Jakes
In Netherlands, with Crowes and stakes;
Tho' there are some t' affirm it, that stick
They were but holes made with his cat stick
In these profound Concavities
There to intomb the boundless Seas,
As Austins Boy that made a busle
To lath the Floud with shell of Muscle;
With trenches deep throw Veins of Earth
To take it in or let it forth;
The first Device of opening Sluce
And serveth since for other use.
VVhich they with VVind and VVether still
Can shut or open at their will.

Finding him guilty of these sad tricks,
(In hopes to break him of his mad tricks)
He next be sent, it is decreed
Where he might learn to Write and Read
To A. B. C. Colledge, called School
And cast Account of Merchants Rule
To Van Le Horn, a swinging Rogue,
And a Bumbastick Pedagogue,
Who tho' much care with him he took,
And pains to bring him to his Book,
Sometimes with chuck dispersing Plumb,
Sometimes with Scourge supplying bum;
With fair means, foul means, all pursuant,
Yet did he prove a very Truant,
Playing (besides his former pranks)
More tricks than forty Mountebanks.
With Pen knife first he 'gins to frame
In Monumental Draughts, his name
On Posts and Pues; no Dormant blind
But bore Record of's Deeds behind,
And oft in fair Geneva hand
Wou'd write his name upon the Sand,
With Artificial Knot, and Flower,
Adorn'd with date of day and hour
On Hogs-heads, Barrels, Buts, and full Packs
Of Merchants Ware, on Sacks and Wool-Packs,
On Cards and Tables, Trees, and Stumps
Of carved Dale, and Knave of Trumps,
Ingraving, Carving, Plain, and Fret-work,
In Diamond, Scallop, Chess, and Net-work;
On Dishes, Platters, Spoons, and Ladles
On Drawers, Cabinets, and Cradles,
On Stocks of Musquets, Locks, and Flasquets,
On Boards, and Cup-boards, Kitts, and Baskets:
Hee'd cut a Last, and leave a hole
To grind your Pepper at the Sole:
For Butter-print none cou'd transcend,
And was old dog at Puddin end;
With various shapes of Owls and Foxes,
On Stoppers and Tobacco-Boxes:
Upon a single Haft hee'd fashion
Both Sexes in close Copulation,
And them by propagating Trades,
To spawn into a thousand Blades:
Hee'd Carve the Moon on Chees, and tell us
The Seige of Troy on backs of Bellows:
On Cherry-Stone hee'd carve the Fable
Of Delphos Porch, and Cebe's Table;
Hee'd grave the History of Stentor
Upon a Nut wou'd baffle Mentor;
And then for statue white as jeat
Past Myron and old Policlet.
Whose works extend beyond the Lines,
And fil'd the World with their designes:
Traps, and Trapans of Low-trap, High-trap,
Hatch Hen and Chickins for a Fly-trap.
With Mous trap, Lous-trap vaunting pride,
And twenty pritty knacks beside
In Wood and Stone: nor was he wanting
To Landskip, Poesy, or Painting:
Hee'd draw a Cock, and then to glory on't
Hold 'twas a Bull, and tell the story on't;
Hee'd draw a Ship, and make it Ride
On post of Chimny at low Tide:
Hee'd undertake to draw the Sun,
And make it sit till he had done:
Hee'd draw the Moon, and tell the meaning:
Of fortune by Eclips, or weaning:
Hee'd draw a Forrest on the Flood,
And hunt for Herring in the Wood:
Hee'd fish ith' case, and in the middle
Of Virginals, wou'd paint a Fiddle:
Hee'd draw the VVorld upon a Rattle,
And rather paint, than pitch a Battle;
And oft like Fuscus with great slight
In Field of Map wou'd study fight,
Bring forth his Army in array,
Assigne the Field, proclaim the day.
And wou'd divide the spoyl, as fierce he
E're fight, as Mortimer and Percy:
Hee'd draw a Stage, and then reproach ye
With Mamma-mouch, and Scaramouche
The Play a Drug, the Poet Chymick
And prove van Ezel the best Mimick
Hee'd draw and hang, and hang and draw,
And quarter Arms from head to toe,
A Lyon Rampant with seven Shafts,
The symbole of united crafts,
That comprehended all the Pale
VVhereof the Texel was the Tayl;
And tho' but with a Pen of Lead
VVould mischief draw on his own Head.
He drew a Cow in Pasture green
Milkt by a Duke, fed by a Queen,
A Monarch mounted Rideing Male,
And Princes led her by the Tayl;
She tug'd, they draw'd, reversing track;
This spur'd, and t'other pull'd her back,
As Cacus an illustrious Thief
In days of old did use his Beef,
And afterwards by dragging limb
The valiant Hercules us'd him:
Hee'd paint an Empire with it's date
And subject Hierarchy to State:
Hee'd draw himself at end of Rope
In ballance with a King and Pope,
Two Monarchs planted in the middle
VVith Flagelet, and Royal Fiddle
Hee'd draw the squeeling Air, and paint
The very Boree, and Currant;
And tho' but like a Pawn between
The potent Bishop, and the Queen
Hee'd skip 'twixt Miter, and the Crown,
And worsted betwixt both; sink down
Paying the Cost, let who hath th'gains,
And take his labour for his pains.
In Landskip hee'd Lampoon a Saint,
Revile in Words, and worse in Paint:
Hee'd draw Apothecaries Bill,
And give a City for a Pill:
He learnt th'Encroaching Foe a new-trick
To Vomit Towns as large as Utricht,
And those he cou'd not safe digest,
To spew them back, and quit the Feast.
Hee'd Rabbies draw in Text, and Emblems
Of Destinies, with their Resemblance:
Hee'd Paint a Piper for the Sun,
And draw a Sink for Helicon;
Parhasius the first that drew
The Hair and Face in Native hue
Was but a Novist to compare
With him, he drew it to a hair:
Hee'd take a Shovel full of Morter,
Which clapping to a Wall hee'd quarter
A Peice more lively than Vandike
Cou'd frame, and swear it was as like:
In any figure large, or small one
Hee'd challenge Orus, or Apollon:
For Emblems and Characteristieks
Past Poliphil, and all his Mysticks:
Hee'd draw a Mandrake for a Man,
And for a Lady paint a Fan:
For Age a Grave, a Cradle Youth,
The Year a Snake with Tayl in Mouth:
Rich Hieroglophicks of the Sages;
The Winds, the Seasons, and the Ages,
With more devices for the Senses
Than Verbs have Moods, or Moods have Tenses;
And e're a Letter cou'd indent
Or cut, cou'd cut, and draw in Print,
Invented e'rst by Brother Foster
In Harlem burg by Laurent Coster,
And falsly arrogated since
By Burg-Electoral of Myntz.
Hee'd undertake to draw a Fart
With all delineaments of Art,
And to the life like Voice from Throat
Distinguish the harmonious Note
Imprison'd broak from face of T---
In Friezland as the Voice of Bird
Of Beasts, and Men in Christal Snare
Of winters Frost, congeal'd to Air,
By summers Beams thaw'd with the Ice,
Dissolves again in native Voice.

Able by this to read Hum Drum
In Mathematicks, all and sum
Hee's sent (to bring his ends to some-pass)
To learn the Art of Globe and Com-pass
With Compost, for to know the Reasons,
Of the Æquator, and the Seasons;
The Change of Climats, Moons, and Years,
The Tides, the Planets, and the Sphears;
And to advance the Trade oth' Nation
To study Art of Navigation:
Who stead of parallels, and Basis
Did file rich draughts of shrouds and Brases,
And wasted all his Ink and Paper
Describing Shallop, Pink, and Caper,
At Ebb or Flood to ride afloat,
With Skippers Huyes, and double Boat,
(For Lunacy of double Hull
Had not us yet arriv'd at full)
And e're he learnt a point in Sphear
Or Compass, Loof Aloof wou'd Stear;
Nor cou'd young Hogan for his Soul
Lay hand on Platter, Dish, or Bowl,
Egg-shell, or Crab that cou'd endure
A Thread for bowling, or a Skewer
For Mast Erected, but wou'd send o're
The new-found Seas to try Adventure;
Thus by a Penny guest how soon
He wou'd assay to stamp a Crown.

He prov'd an excellent Ship-Taylor,
And by the Yard cou'd shape a Sayler:
Heed stick Deal-boards, and from a Stock
Wou'd bring a Man of War toth' Dock:
From Stitch he prov'd a famous Builder,
Hee'd buil'd a Jakes to purchase Guilder,
Hee'd build a House of Stone, or Wood,
And lay Foundation in the Flood;
The great Leviathan oth' deep
That e'rstofore did play and sleep
By building now, finds other work,
And dwells in Fir-Tree like a Stork.
He built his Trade on Forrain Lands,
And built his Hopes upon the Sands:
Hee'd quarrel with his Fingers ends,
And build Success upon his Friends:
Hee'd build a Fort with Sluces cunning,
And build his safety on his running:
For Providence he built on Fate,
And built Democracy on State:
Hee'd still be building; and (as one saies)
He was as good at building Sconces,
Hee'd build a Paunch with Boild and Rost,
And oft wou'd reckon before Host:
Hee'd swill a Kilderkin, and seconding
With th' other Pot, disgorge the Reckoning:
For Brandy he had learnt a slight
To burn, and run away by th'light,
For which he always had a lusting
To justify his Mothers thirsting;
In heat whereof hee'd sight and quarrel,
Kick Punck, and swallow down the Barrel,
Till hee's so drunk he does not know
The upper Region from the low;
Nor wou'd he be so drunk, the Elf,
As Emperour, but one himself.
Hee'd build a Purs with vaunting goods
And leave the Buyer in the Suds:
With Correspondent he wou'd lame,
And build his Credit on his Fame:
Compound with Merchant for to utter
His Cargo off, and melt the Butter:
Hee'd build Estate on flying Dock
Of Oke, and build upon the stock:
Hee'd build a League with forraign Prince
With Gold, and make no Recompence:
Hee'd take no Wrong, nor do no Right,
And justify 'em all by Fight:
Hee'd quarrel build on ground of Doller,
And slip his neck out of the coller:
Make Peace, and War with Foes, and Friends,
And keep, or break it, for his Ends.
When castigated for disaster
Hee'd promise fair, implore his Master,
Wou'd pardon beg for all his rude tricks,
Then fall into his former lewd tricks;
And for miscariage in behaviour
Wou'd build on hopes of wonted favour.

He built a fleet, and scarce from Cradle
When ready furnisht for the Saddle
He had procur'd a pretty stud
To Prance and Caper on the Flood;
A sort of Hors compos'd of Deal
With artificial Mast and Sayl,
Bridle, and Bit, with Tires, and Guns,
Ballance apportion'd to their Tuns,
With Carriages to keep them in stock,
And men without astride with Linstock,
Provoaking all the little Boyes,
The Infant, Dolphin, with his Huyes,
With Drum of Jaw, and Trump of Rattle
To yield the day, or give him Battle;
Who with their Gallions did so show'r in
H'had much ado to scape a scowring;
But that (as oft) the less engage
The greater States upon the Stage,
A Potent Virgin made Election
To take the wanton in Protection:
When she alone in fatal Fight
Wag'd Combat with the Eighty-eight,
And in defence of our Bravado
Engaged with the proud Armado;
When Hogan made her Queen Electress
Did own her Soveraign and Protectress.
Yet was it but a Truce at Will,
For Hogan will be Hogan still,
Who tho' a Ward did only watch
How he his Guardian might dispatch
From Poor Distressed, at her Feet he
Flying to pitch of High and Mighty;
When by Advice of Delegate
Hogan began to put on State,
By Faction, Quarrelling, and Cheating,
To turn Intreatings into Treating,
To Treat with Princes by Alliance,
Or else to stand upon defiance,
To Trustees and Superintendents
Disdaining homage and dependence;
Since Kings and Emperors were his Fellows,
He grew so Head-strong and Rebellious,
No Cable-Rope with bit of Anchor,
Cou'd keep him in, since he turn'd Bancker.

A State for Subtilty and Rule,
Where Machiavil was but a Fool,
And ne're had tythe in Weight or Measure
To fix his Throne of Gold or Treasure:
Who tho' some Gybes call Phaeton,
Melting his Bacon in the Sun,
All the Reward he got for's pains
Whilst he assay'd to hold the Reins,
Most certain 'tis, no Mortal since
E're tug'd it with such Violence,
Or on the Earth, since he did thrust in
For Empire, made such vile Combustion.

Now Solomon commenceth date
Established on Throne of State,
It is no boot, unless we hold
A League with Tharshish to fetch Gold,
Which to effect the Legats sent
To King, and eke to Parliament,
He had a Fleet to bring him Treasure,
More for his Profit than his Pleasure,
With Spices, Silks, Prodigious Piles
Of Wood from Ardenne, and the Isles;
As many hewers of the Trees
That Temples built, and this built Huyse,
As he was subtile, this was cunning,
He Wisdom sound, and Hogan guning.

And as the Devil planting root
Of mischief, wou'd set ought afoot,
Ne're wants his Engines, and his slights
To multiply his Profilites;
To make the State go down more glib
He had his Tidy, Tom, and Tib
By bilking King, who bought the Slaves
A Stock, to make a gleek of Knaves.

And then for Conduct of the Fleet
Of Monster-State, the head and feet
About this time arriv'd a Sayl
From breach of Trust, and breach of Jayl,
A Valiant Fleming, and a Stout-man,
A Coxan hight Cornelius Houtman
Whom here Old Nick sent o're the Flood,
'Tis an ill Wind blows no man good:
As once a famous Man of War
From Alexandria, in the Bar
Sent by the Gods, in Calba's days
Did type his Empire and his Race.

This was the first from Coast of Spain,
That found a passage o're the Main,
Inclos'd in Ark with many a Beast,
To make discovery of the East,
Reduc'd to Trade, t'Inrich the Nation
By Indian Association,
Who put in Stock, and shar'd the Spoyl
With Reynor Paw, and Grotten Heule
That crept to State by forge, and stealth,
The Glyn, and Pym oth' Common-Wealth.
A Reformade of Zealous Brother
Who Pimpt whilst Hogan forc't his Mother,
As Nero for Olympick game,
Ript up the Bowels of his Dam.

Nor can on Tharshesh now uphold
The Throne of State with slipp'ry Gold;
Arabia yet yields Fruits more sweet,
And he must have another Fleet
With Indian Gems to mix his Ore;
But Hogan Mogan must have more;
Not Ægypt, nor Arabia can
Suffice our great Leviathan,
He has a Fleet full Sayl'd or Furl'd
In every Region of the World;
And he that e'rst had much ado
To find one Ship with little Crew,
Few Companies with fewer Sayls
At Muster of his flying Deals
By multiplying on the Seas,
Now Musters Fleets in Companies,
Which some (as here their Houses are
Call'd Churches, Houses, Men of War)
By purity of Dialect,
Do call Assemblies, some a Sect:
Thus the East-India-Company
Of Greenland, and of Muscovy,
The Smirna's, Balticks, and Brabants,
Are styl'd Assemblies by the Saints,
And Faction and Confæderate
Makes great Assembly of the State;
Confused Chaos of the Sages,
The Wasseniers, Van-Reeds, and Scages,
The Hogan-Mogan-Rogueon Houses
Of Brederodes and Heers Van-Douces,
With the Provincial Advocate
The Royal Members of the State
Confirmed by Association,
Hight Union and Pacification,
At Hague, at Utretch, and at Cand,
To settle Trade by Sea and Land.

Now like your Warlike Don in Histories,
In prime of Youth is for a Mistress,
And to that end a Fleet dispatch
To find the Hogan Heer a Match
With double Tire, and Quarter deck,
Under Conduct of James Van Neck,
Embassadour in full Commission
Upon that very Expedition,
To treat for Marriage, and to hold
In Indies League with Madam Gold,
A soverain Queen, and from her Birth
A Peice of most refined Earth,
A pliant, soft, delicious Beauty,
And every one did pay her Duty,
Elixer of the Heart and Eyes,
And he that had her, had a Prize,
A Sun to both she did appear,
Twou'd do a blind man good to see her.

But oh frail fate of fickle Creature!
When she with Climate changes feature,
Assuming forrain Stamp and Figure
She lost her Grace and Native Vigour
With painting, patching, in a space
Appear'd a very Brasen Face;
She wou'd lye down at every suit,
And prov'd a common Prostitute;
Common to all as well as him,
And every Bankrupt had a Limb.
In all Debauchery attendant,
No Sin but she was at the end on't:
She made the people run amadding,
Rob, Fight, Pick Locks, and Post a Padding;
Such din and quarter was about her,
Nor was there any do without her.

Inviron'd with the Spanish Plague,
Now Hogan finds device at Hague;
A Seignior-Deigo-Mystery
To keep her under Lock and Key,
Which did retain the name of Rank,
Pandora still, the Common Bank;
The great Seraglio of the Saints,
A dish for Hooft Participants,
The Cabinet of Hogan Treasure
To shut and open at his pleasure,
Obliging Poor Inhabitants
Once in a Season with a glance,
Then Canoniz'd her for a Goddess,
Obliging all with goods and bodys
So oft a year throughout the Nation
To offer here their due Oblation:
Nor was there Pagan, Prosilyte,
Or Jew, but must throw in his Mite
To th' Dagon of his Adoration
Ere he was Free-man of the Nation;
So they might but negotiate
Religion made no blur in State.

Religions he had every one,
And had so many, he had none;
He suffer'd all, but none wou'd hold,
And all his trust was in his Gold.
Of dealing he no Conscience made,
And pin'd his Hopes upon his Trade.
Van Herring was his God; he fisht
Poor John for his Evangelist;
His Saints were Cods-heads; in what Coast else
Were Fishermen, the chief Apostles?
He had a Faith Transparent was,
As brittle and infirm as glass,
With which he kept a grievous racket
Of Sacrament, and oft wou'd crack it,
Only as much as wou'd afford
To keep his Credit above board,
And when it suffer'd Violation,
Wou'd patch it up with Reputation.
His Faith his Word was, and his Word
Was not Surreverence, worth a T---
Hee'd truck a Sacrament for Herring,
And blow a Cargo off with Swearing:
Chop a Commandment for de Largen,
And break all ten to piece a bargain;
With Ordnance batter Ordinances,
And barter Bibles for Romances:
Advanc't the State, enricht the Nation
By making Trade of Tolleration.
And as the Mother-Church enclos'd
Of many Members is compos'd
Where Pride and Tolleration lurches,
His was a Babel made of Churches,
After the Model of the State
Geneva, and Palatinate,
A Synagogue of Guex, and Pagans,
And great Assembly of Drec-Wagons,
The Brownists, Gomarists, and Hinns,
Counter-Remonstrants, Libertines,
Dame-Liberty, which swal'd the Throne,
His Talmond and his Alcharon
Preacht up by Quinton, and Abiden,
With David Georg, and Jack of Leyden;
Rainsburg Assembly, the long-winded
Twelve-months-hold-forthing of Free-minded;
Mahometans, and Burgundonians
Talmudists, Atheists, Mucultonians,
Preadamites, and Sabbatarians,
And Anti-li-disciplinarians,
With Yeas, and Nays, and Spiritual Lyes,
In place of Oath with the precise:
But as of all the rest 'tis said
Religion here was but a Trade;
So many Sects, so many Sessions,
So many Callings, and Professions,
Where every one might freely barter,
And set up for himself by th'Charter;
Where Saint and Devil link together,
Turk, Jew; and makes no matter whether,
As far as for their ends they make
Not Conscience, but for Commerce-sake.

And by his Church, so might you Conster
The State, that aggragated Monster;
A body politick that kicks
At Head, compos'd of Politicks;
A sort of Machiavilian slight
By forgeing Empire, Coyn, and Weight,
By Vaunting Trade and Violation
Of dealing, to enrich the Nation;
Which what with In-come of the State
By Usurpation, and the Plate,
Tax, Levy, Custom, and Excise
On Muster-Balls, and Puddin-Pies,
Who as he had in every Dish
A Finger, so he had ith' Fish;
Which tho' they swallow'd without Plate
Or Dish, brought Sauce unto the State;
With Pass-ports, Imports, Duties, Fines
On Common-Shores, and Golden-Mines
With's Nose he wou'd Monopolize
A Fart, and make it pay Excise,
And knew by th'scent e're they untrust em
When they design'd to Smother Custom:
By Pole of Ships, of Beasts, and Men,
On bubbing boughs, and shoveing Ken;
Of Beere, and Wines a World made, and he
Did make the Devil and all of Brandy;
Hee'd dive for Custom in the dreggs,
And suck you Gold from yoalk of Eggs:
A Herring-bone brought him more fee
Than Indians boast of Cokos-Tree,
Whence Hogan wou'd extract rich sums
Of Okum and Tarpolian gums,
Oyl, Milk, and Chees t'adorn his Tables,
Needles, and Thread, with Mast, and Cables,
The shell was Pasty-crust, eternal
Gammon and Bacon was the Kernal:
No Dish to Table that is bore,
But past through fifty hands before,
As oft paid Custom as it past,
And brought the principal at last;
With the Excise of many a Joal
Whereof his Teeth did take the Toll:
His Souldiers often he wou'd pay,
Going Snips with others in the Prey,
Divide the spoyl, and kept in fee
With Naval Plunder, Piracy;
Hee'd cleer the Capers under Hatches,
And oft wou'd Piratize the Catches,
Cilician Pyrots stole the Beeves,
And Julius Tutor rob'd the Thieves,
Fleecing the Sheep, fleaing the Bores
As Marius Priscus did the Mores,
And still poor Lansman Taxt and Plunder'd,
Till he brought fifty to five hundred:
Which with Alliance, and abuse
Of Forrain Leagues, Interest and U:
With Principle, at length to store he
Commits of General directory,
The Common Bank, or else the shore
The useful house you heard before
Of all his Excrements, and Fee
His Checquer, and his Treasury.

By this Democracy is Rampant,
The Hague and Collogne bears the stamp on't;
Confæderats joyn'd in Communion;
Oth' present State, the present Union.

The Case thus stated, next debate,
See to what Case he brought the State.