 | The Dancing-School |  |
7
A Song upon Dancing.
Dancing was first a Maggot Bred,
In some Musicians Crazy Head:
When Ripe, being Slip'ry as an Eel,
It slid from thence, into his Heel;
And there it to this Day remains,
Having no further need of Brains;
Making 'em Skip with Nimble force,
As Eels i'th' Belly of a Horse:
Which Jockies use each Market-Day,
To make 'em Dance, as People say.
In some Musicians Crazy Head:
When Ripe, being Slip'ry as an Eel,
It slid from thence, into his Heel;
And there it to this Day remains,
Having no further need of Brains;
Making 'em Skip with Nimble force,
As Eels i'th' Belly of a Horse:
Which Jockies use each Market-Day,
To make 'em Dance, as People say.
Who Teach this slight of Foot in Schools
Great Rev'rence pay to Single Souls:
And little Friendship have for those,
Who always deal in double Shoes.
Some Men by Learned Heads grow Great,
But they advanc'd are by their Feet,
The Grandure of the World Despise,
And ne'er above a Caper Rise:
And when all's done, their formal Steps and Scrapes,
Makes Women Lucifers, and Men but Apes.
Great Rev'rence pay to Single Souls:
And little Friendship have for those,
Who always deal in double Shoes.
Some Men by Learned Heads grow Great,
But they advanc'd are by their Feet,
The Grandure of the World Despise,
And ne'er above a Caper Rise:
And when all's done, their formal Steps and Scrapes,
Makes Women Lucifers, and Men but Apes.
14
[Our Charioteer, now mounting in his Box]
Our Charioteer, now mounting in his Box,
Hey-up, he cry'd, his Jades stood still as Stocks,
He Slash'd, and Cut, and Curs'd 'em, with a Pox.
Hey-up, he cry'd, his Jades stood still as Stocks,
He Slash'd, and Cut, and Curs'd 'em, with a Pox.
With true Horse Language, and the use of Thong,
He, forc'd at last, his Hungry Tits along,
Who when once set on going, Ran ding dong.
He, forc'd at last, his Hungry Tits along,
Who when once set on going, Ran ding dong.
Thus with his pair of Hide-bound Skeletons,
He drove us ratling over London Stones,
Almost to th'Dislocation of our Bones.
He drove us ratling over London Stones,
Almost to th'Dislocation of our Bones.
In little time, to Islington we came;
For Cakes and Ale, a Town of Ancient Fame;
Which to this day's frequented for the same.
For Cakes and Ale, a Town of Ancient Fame;
Which to this day's frequented for the same.
Where Whiffs so Sav'ry did our Nostrills Fan,
From Cakes, Eel-Pies, and Tarts in Patti-Pan,
Like Twelf-tide Air, in Wood-street newly drawn.
From Cakes, Eel-Pies, and Tarts in Patti-Pan,
Like Twelf-tide Air, in Wood-street newly drawn.
At ev'ry Door, as we the Town pass'd thro',
A basket of hot Buns was set in View;
No doubt but some within were Butter'd too.
A basket of hot Buns was set in View;
No doubt but some within were Butter'd too.
Those set without were to make Children Cry,
Or Tempt the well-sown Longing Mothers Eye,
Who can't without a Pot and Cake go by.
Or Tempt the well-sown Longing Mothers Eye,
Who can't without a Pot and Cake go by.
Peasants in Streams did out of London Ebb,
And tho' each Scoundrel had his homely Drab,
The Cock took care to Nurse the bawling Squab.
And tho' each Scoundrel had his homely Drab,
The Cock took care to Nurse the bawling Squab.
The Wife she Trotted after on the Road,
Scolding at something had Dissention sow'd,
For Marry'd Clowns can ne'er agree abroad.
Scolding at something had Dissention sow'd,
For Marry'd Clowns can ne'er agree abroad.
Some in old Oliverian Coats were clad,
With narrow Skirts, and little Buttons made;
And at their Backs their good Wive's Pattens had.
With narrow Skirts, and little Buttons made;
And at their Backs their good Wive's Pattens had.
15
Each Crop-Ear'd Prentice had his, walking Mate,
To Kiss, and Toy with, o'er an Ale-house Treat;
And make the Pleasures of his Walk more Sweet.
To Kiss, and Toy with, o'er an Ale-house Treat;
And make the Pleasures of his Walk more Sweet.
With these the Roades were fill'd on ev'ry side,
Ungainly Cloth'd in all their Easter Pride;
The Men Walk'd fast, the Wenches straddled Wide.
Ungainly Cloth'd in all their Easter Pride;
The Men Walk'd fast, the Wenches straddled Wide.
Some Clambring over Hedges, some o'er Stiles,
Some Girles their A---s shew, the Men mean whiles,
Came after peeping to provoke their Smiles.
Some Girles their A---s shew, the Men mean whiles,
Came after peeping to provoke their Smiles.
All hurry'd on, I wonder'd at their haste,
Or what entic'd 'em to go on so fast,
The Reason I resolv'd to know at last.
Or what entic'd 'em to go on so fast,
The Reason I resolv'd to know at last.
We Kiss'd and Toy'd, and Merrily Jogg'd on,
My Mistress kinder and more free was grown,
To me all Modest Favours now were shown.
My Mistress kinder and more free was grown,
To me all Modest Favours now were shown.
Like Quality we Sported at the Rout,
And when we pleas'd, Contemptibly look'd out
Upon the Sweating Slaves that walk'd on Foot.
And when we pleas'd, Contemptibly look'd out
Upon the Sweating Slaves that walk'd on Foot.
Sometime drew up our Sashes made of Tin,
To hide from Vulgars Eyes Loves Toys within;
And when we'd done, we dropt 'em down agin.
To hide from Vulgars Eyes Loves Toys within;
And when we'd done, we dropt 'em down agin.
Our minutes might have been much more improv'd,
Had she, like me, without Discretion Lov'd;
Her Vertues were too powerful to be mov'd.
Had she, like me, without Discretion Lov'd;
Her Vertues were too powerful to be mov'd.
By now to th'Bottom of the Hill we came,
The Horses Cough'd and Groan'd to see the same;
And at its height grew very sick and lame.
The Horses Cough'd and Groan'd to see the same;
And at its height grew very sick and lame.
The Coachman light to give his Carrion ease,
They pull'd till farted to their Driver please;
And now and then dropt down upon their knees
They pull'd till farted to their Driver please;
And now and then dropt down upon their knees
For all they kneel'd, his whip he would not spare,
But Cut 'em up, and Curs'd the Lazy pair;
And in his Thoughts pray'd backwards for his Fare.
But Cut 'em up, and Curs'd the Lazy pair;
And in his Thoughts pray'd backwards for his Fare.
No Loaded Waggon in a soft deep Snow,
And drawn by Oxen, could have mov'd more slow,
Enough to've tir'd the Patience of a Beau.
And drawn by Oxen, could have mov'd more slow,
Enough to've tir'd the Patience of a Beau.
Before we'd Conquer'd half our Rising way,
He fed his Starvlings, with a whisp of Hay.
Drawn from a Bag beneath his Coach-Box lay.
He fed his Starvlings, with a whisp of Hay.
Drawn from a Bag beneath his Coach-Box lay.
16
At last the Jades with heavy striving drew
Their Luggage to the top with much adoe,
Where we the Ancient Village had in view.
Their Luggage to the top with much adoe,
Where we the Ancient Village had in view.
I gave my Mistress Welcome to the Town.
Manners, with Love, in one sweet Kiss was shown.
Lest she should take her Courtier for a Clown.
Manners, with Love, in one sweet Kiss was shown.
Lest she should take her Courtier for a Clown.
No Countrey Fair, where Crowds of Swains resort,
To meet their Lasses, and Contend in sport,
Could be more full, or did their Mirth fall short.
To meet their Lasses, and Contend in sport,
Could be more full, or did their Mirth fall short.
To ease their tired Limbs, sat here and there,
Upon a Verdant Plat, a Loving pair,
Kissing and Toying in the open Air.
Upon a Verdant Plat, a Loving pair,
Kissing and Toying in the open Air.
Others were Crowded into Ale-house yards,
Some Slaving were at Nine-pins, some at Cards,
Whilst Taylor's occupy'd the Shuffle-Boards.
Some Slaving were at Nine-pins, some at Cards,
Whilst Taylor's occupy'd the Shuffle-Boards.
Some into little hoop-stick Arbours crept,
The Parents Tipled whilst their Children slept,
And Maudling Wenches with their Sweet-hearts wept.
The Parents Tipled whilst their Children slept,
And Maudling Wenches with their Sweet-hearts wept.
I ask'd the meaning of these num'rous Trains,
And found the Giddy Crowd took all this Pains,
To see the Finchly Murd'rer hang in Chains.
And found the Giddy Crowd took all this Pains,
To see the Finchly Murd'rer hang in Chains.
To the high Tavern, where the Genrry meet,
We went, which could not yield one Slice of Meat;
Nothing we found but Cake and Cheese to Eat.
We went, which could not yield one Slice of Meat;
Nothing we found but Cake and Cheese to Eat.
This Rabbles Fare, with us would not go down,
I offer'd for some Mutton-Stakes a Crown,
But could not get one Chop throughout the Town.
I offer'd for some Mutton-Stakes a Crown,
But could not get one Chop throughout the Town.
Is this, said I, a Village of such Fame,
For City Cuckold to refresh his Dame,
Pox take your famish'd Town; so back we came.
For City Cuckold to refresh his Dame,
Pox take your famish'd Town; so back we came.
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