Les Champignons du diable or, Imperial mushrooms: A mock-heroic poem, in five cantos: Including a Conference between the Pope and the Devil, on his Holiness's visit to Paris: illustrated with notes. By the editor of "Salmagundi," and "The Wiccamical Chaplet," &c. &c. [i.e. George Huddesford] |
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| II. |
| III. |
| IV. |
| V. |
 | Les Champignons du diable |  |
3
NO manufacturer of rhyme,
Or prose, can tell the nick of time
When, bidding earthly friends good by,
Spirit or gift of prophecy,
Like other spirits, evaporated:
But we for certainty may state it,
That she sat off at the right æra;
For, had she longer tarried, ne'er a
Interpreter of all the trade
One-half of what she would have said
Had credited, if, peradventure, he
Had heard her prate of nineteenth century;
At whose developement each ass
Must think strange things have come to pass;
And so, indeed, of asses say
All that intelligibly bray:
Because, such long-ear'd gentry look
To rind and cover of the book
Alone, in spruce Morocco binding
All they think worth attention finding;
Like swine, for love of th' husk, neglect
The text or kernel to inspect.
As literary gossips fable
Of sapient and right honourable
Peer, who the door had so dispos'd
To 's library, that, when 'twas clos'd,
None could descry or hit upon 't:
And was so tickled, when he'd done 't,
With his foriculastic mystery,
That he for tomes within, of history,
Art dialectic, greek and latin
Classics, whereon the studious batten,
And all their philosophic prog
Had no more relish than a dog:
But thought, in limine deceptio
Must him a more profound adept show
Than if h' had Hebrew odes, or Greek writ
To friend, whom thus into the secret
He let with Solomonic grin:
“Say not a word about it!—in
“This library and out go I, Sir,
“Full oft, and nobody the wiser!”
Or prose, can tell the nick of time
When, bidding earthly friends good by,
Spirit or gift of prophecy,
Like other spirits, evaporated:
But we for certainty may state it,
That she sat off at the right æra;
For, had she longer tarried, ne'er a
Interpreter of all the trade
One-half of what she would have said
Had credited, if, peradventure, he
Had heard her prate of nineteenth century;
At whose developement each ass
Must think strange things have come to pass;
4
All that intelligibly bray:
Because, such long-ear'd gentry look
To rind and cover of the book
Alone, in spruce Morocco binding
All they think worth attention finding;
Like swine, for love of th' husk, neglect
The text or kernel to inspect.
As literary gossips fable
Of sapient and right honourable
Peer, who the door had so dispos'd
To 's library, that, when 'twas clos'd,
None could descry or hit upon 't:
And was so tickled, when he'd done 't,
With his foriculastic mystery,
That he for tomes within, of history,
Art dialectic, greek and latin
Classics, whereon the studious batten,
And all their philosophic prog
Had no more relish than a dog:
But thought, in limine deceptio
Must him a more profound adept show
5
To friend, whom thus into the secret
He let with Solomonic grin:
“Say not a word about it!—in
“This library and out go I, Sir,
“Full oft, and nobody the wiser!”
But double-sighted Bards, who tip ye
Off rummers of right Aganippe,
Look through the upper-crust of things,
To find th'interior, secret springs
And principles that give to th' whole
Form, hue, activity and soul.
And, though on spit the joint turn round,
By nicest scrutiny have found,
That 'tis the short-legg'd cur i' the wheel,
And not the spit, that roasts the veal.
When fingers of Hook, Cramer, Crotch,
On organ-keys play at hop-scotch,
Though credit for their skill you grant 'em,
And swear divinely trills the anthem,
They know that you're mistaken quite:
'Tis Bellows-blower out of sight
Who makes the melody, which no
Longer exists than bellows blow.
They know when popular Haranguer,
From pulpit, theologic clangour
Dispenses, (like report of guns,)
And suff'ring auditory stuns,
That, though the noise is all his own,
He preaches not but Massillon.
List'ning learn'd Sergeant in the courts,
What tropes and metaphors he sports,
“Three-pil'd hyperboles,” grimaces,
“Silk terms and taffata-wove phrases!”
You deem such all-persuasive strains
Flow from grand reservoir of brains;
They know in Curl of's wig the force
Lies, and the thread of his discourse,
As we from case in point below,
Shall, with prosaic license, show.
They know that Punch's ribbald note
From Carnal comes, not oaken throat
As that intelligent old woman
Suppos'd, who bought him of the show-man,
And took him home, when she was á-dry,
To tipple with her, and talk shaadry.
Off rummers of right Aganippe,
Look through the upper-crust of things,
To find th'interior, secret springs
And principles that give to th' whole
Form, hue, activity and soul.
And, though on spit the joint turn round,
By nicest scrutiny have found,
That 'tis the short-legg'd cur i' the wheel,
And not the spit, that roasts the veal.
When fingers of Hook, Cramer, Crotch,
On organ-keys play at hop-scotch,
6
And swear divinely trills the anthem,
They know that you're mistaken quite:
'Tis Bellows-blower out of sight
Who makes the melody, which no
Longer exists than bellows blow.
They know when popular Haranguer,
From pulpit, theologic clangour
Dispenses, (like report of guns,)
And suff'ring auditory stuns,
7
He preaches not but Massillon.
List'ning learn'd Sergeant in the courts,
What tropes and metaphors he sports,
“Three-pil'd hyperboles,” grimaces,
“Silk terms and taffata-wove phrases!”
You deem such all-persuasive strains
Flow from grand reservoir of brains;
They know in Curl of's wig the force
Lies, and the thread of his discourse,
8
Shall, with prosaic license, show.
They know that Punch's ribbald note
From Carnal comes, not oaken throat
9
Suppos'd, who bought him of the show-man,
And took him home, when she was á-dry,
To tipple with her, and talk shaadry.
And, as poetical Proboscis,
In small effects smells out their causes,
(Nay, with such rare organization,
Is fram'd 'twill scent of dame of fashion
The little faux-pas she will nót own,
As well as nose of Father Coton:)
Thus its rhinocerontic stature,
Commensurate alike with greater,
Enables it, (just like that queer one,
Wherewith Judge Jeff'ries presbyterian
Forty miles off could smell, or more,)
T' olfact the Centre, and explore
The lowest bin in Satan's cellar;
And, if rat burrow'd there, to smell her.
In small effects smells out their causes,
(Nay, with such rare organization,
Is fram'd 'twill scent of dame of fashion
The little faux-pas she will nót own,
As well as nose of Father Coton:)
10
Commensurate alike with greater,
Enables it, (just like that queer one,
Wherewith Judge Jeff'ries presbyterian
Forty miles off could smell, or more,)
T' olfact the Centre, and explore
The lowest bin in Satan's cellar;
And, if rat burrow'd there, to smell her.
11
This being premis'd, attend with awe,
Reader! while we the veil undraw
That parts this world of stars and sunshine
From subterraneous world where none shine:
Show how in Hell's Cimmerian shade,
The farce was plann'd that France has play'd;
And how the Devil's conj'ring-box,
Swell'd Consul Frog to Emp'ror Ox.
Reader! while we the veil undraw
That parts this world of stars and sunshine
From subterraneous world where none shine:
Show how in Hell's Cimmerian shade,
The farce was plann'd that France has play'd;
And how the Devil's conj'ring-box,
Swell'd Consul Frog to Emp'ror Ox.
| Les Champignons du diable | |