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A lecture to the ladies

By a disobliged Admirer of the Fair Sex [i.e. Alexander Pennecuik]

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A LECTURE to the LADIES,

By a disobliged Admirer of the Fair Sex.

Satan, to ruin Mankind in the Root,
The universal Queen, betray'd with Fruit;
A single Apple forfeits Adam's Crown;
The Curse of GOD went with the Apple down.
E'er since, that Sex, tho' fair, with charming Shapes,
Are Sodom's Apples, and Gommorrah's Grapes;
They have the Apple's ruddy Cheek and Skin:
But ah! the Serpent hides himself within.
Was't not enough to taste the damning Tree,
But you must guzzle down that cursed Tea;
A Plant which in the Devil's Garden grew,
By which a second Time he poisons you.
It's numerous Trains of Mischief who can tell;
Tea hath dispatch'd a thousand Souls to Hell.
From whence doth starting of the Nerves proceed?
Whence comes the paraletick Hand and Head?
Whence does our Sloth and Idleness arise?
What hatches all our Calumnies and Lies?
What makes backbiting to be Alamode?
What spreads our lewd lascivious Songs abroad?
What makes our Pride and Poverty increase?
What busks the Ladies in the Harlot's Dress?
What makes the Tol{l}et overspread with Cards?
What makes our Daughters Whores, and ruins Lairds?
What keeps the Whig and Tory in a Battle?
What dwindles down good Sense to tittle tattle?
What makes young Miss lisp Oaths with English Air?
What makes the Matron loll in Elbow-Chair;
Forget her BIBLE for her China Ware?
What blows the Coal, and kindles all our Strife?
What gives a Husband Horns, and damns the Wife?
If whence these Mallieures flow, you do not see,
Believe my Word, The Fountain-head is TEA.