To the Honourable Mr. D. T. Great Pattern of Piety, Charity, Learning, Humanity, good Nature, Wisdom, good Breeding, Affability, and one most eminently distinguished for his Conjugal Affection [by Thomas Sheridan] |
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 | To the Honourable Mr. D. T. |  |
To the Honourable Mr. D. T. Great Pattern of Piety, Charity, Learning, Humanity, good Nature, Wisdom, good Breeding, Affability, and one most eminently distinguished for his Conjugal Affection.
Ex Despauterio
O Tite Tute Tati tibi tanta Tyranne tulisti.
What strange Disorder often Springs
From very light, and trivial things!
Which makes Philosophers conjecture
They are from Providence a Lecture,
To check our Vanity and Pride,
And many other Faults beside.
This gave the first Creation Rise
Of Maggots, Insects, Worms, and Flies,
Of Bugs, Wasps, Midges, Mice and Rats,
And barking Curs, and Spit-fire Cats;
That strive to shun them where you will,
There's one or other at you still;
No Man escapes insidious Vermin,
From Coat of Frize to Royal Ermin;
From the low joint-Stool to the Throne,
These Plagues of Egypt favour none.
From very light, and trivial things!
Which makes Philosophers conjecture
They are from Providence a Lecture,
To check our Vanity and Pride,
And many other Faults beside.
This gave the first Creation Rise
Of Maggots, Insects, Worms, and Flies,
Of Bugs, Wasps, Midges, Mice and Rats,
And barking Curs, and Spit-fire Cats;
That strive to shun them where you will,
There's one or other at you still;
No Man escapes insidious Vermin,
From Coat of Frize to Royal Ermin;
From the low joint-Stool to the Throne,
These Plagues of Egypt favour none.
And now to Paint the sev'ral Ways.
Such Trifles have such Power to teize.
Such Trifles have such Power to teize.
The lurking Maggot, in your Meat,
Destroys your Appetite to eat.
Destroys your Appetite to eat.
Proceed to Bed, that Place of Rest,
Lay down your Head and do your best,
One little, Skipping, sorry Flea,
Can chase the God of Sleep away.
Lay down your Head and do your best,
One little, Skipping, sorry Flea,
Can chase the God of Sleep away.
The Bug, that Spawn of rotten Wood,
Not only Sucks, but taints your Blood,
At length you Seize the Worthless Prize,
You Squeeze, he bursts, and bursting Dies;
But still a greater Curse you find,
So strong a Stink he leaves behind.
Not only Sucks, but taints your Blood,
At length you Seize the Worthless Prize,
You Squeeze, he bursts, and bursting Dies;
But still a greater Curse you find,
So strong a Stink he leaves behind.
1
The crawling Louse assails you next,
You groap, and groap, you fret, you're vext,
This little Speck of Sweat and Dirt,
Altho' it cannot greatly hurt,
Yet still it makes you Scratch and Shrug,
As much as the adherent Bug.
You groap, and groap, you fret, you're vext,
This little Speck of Sweat and Dirt,
Altho' it cannot greatly hurt,
Yet still it makes you Scratch and Shrug,
As much as the adherent Bug.
If none of these a Rat or Cat,
Or nibling Mouse, or buzzing Gnat,
May come as you're Suplinely laid,
And break the Peace which Sleep has made;
So slight an Accident destroys
The greatest of all human joys!
Or nibling Mouse, or buzzing Gnat,
May come as you're Suplinely laid,
And break the Peace which Sleep has made;
So slight an Accident destroys
The greatest of all human joys!
If to the Fields you walk for Air,
What num'rous Squadrons meet you there,
Flies of all Sorts, and Hues you see,
From ev'ry Ditch, and ev'ry Tree,
Like Dust in Clouds, or powd'ring Hail,
Your Face on all sides they assail,
Eyes, Cheeks, Brows, Lips, and Chin, and Nose,
Are all attack'd by Swarming Foes;
You tap them with your Hands in vain,
No sooner off, but on again;
Such are the Plagues of human Life,
Doom'd ever thus to live in Strife,
With things so much beneath our Care,
To wage an Everlasting War.
What num'rous Squadrons meet you there,
2
From ev'ry Ditch, and ev'ry Tree,
Like Dust in Clouds, or powd'ring Hail,
Your Face on all sides they assail,
Eyes, Cheeks, Brows, Lips, and Chin, and Nose,
Are all attack'd by Swarming Foes;
You tap them with your Hands in vain,
No sooner off, but on again;
Such are the Plagues of human Life,
Doom'd ever thus to live in Strife,
With things so much beneath our Care,
To wage an Everlasting War.
Canst thou, O Man, be Vain and Proud,
When this must be by all aloud,
One Flea, one Wasp, one Fly, one Drone,
Thy Pow'rs of thinking can dethrone;
If perch'd upon your Lip, or Brow,
Can banish what your thought just, now,
Can break the lab'ring Fancy's Chain,
And set your Brains to Work again.
When this must be by all aloud,
One Flea, one Wasp, one Fly, one Drone,
Thy Pow'rs of thinking can dethrone;
If perch'd upon your Lip, or Brow,
Can banish what your thought just, now,
Can break the lab'ring Fancy's Chain,
And set your Brains to Work again.
What Pain the riding Trav'lour feels,
When barking Curs are at his Heels!
He stops, he turns, he stands at Bay,
And frights them for a while away;
But still they teize, and still pursue,
And keep the bounding Steed in view,
Till one Cur bites him to the bone,
And almost brings the rider down.
When barking Curs are at his Heels!
He stops, he turns, he stands at Bay,
And frights them for a while away;
But still they teize, and still pursue,
And keep the bounding Steed in view,
Till one Cur bites him to the bone,
And almost brings the rider down.
That Case and his is just the same,
Who mounts upon the Horse of Fame,
Some envious Snarling Curs pursue him,
With eager Malice to undoe him;
'Till one more fierce than all, thro' Spite,
Comes up and gives his Horse a Bite,
The bouncing Prancer Kicks amain,
The rider holds a strait'ned Rein,
Clings fast, until the Horse has done,
The Cur flies off, and he rides on.
Who mounts upon the Horse of Fame,
Some envious Snarling Curs pursue him,
With eager Malice to undoe him;
'Till one more fierce than all, thro' Spite,
Comes up and gives his Horse a Bite,
The bouncing Prancer Kicks amain,
The rider holds a strait'ned Rein,
Clings fast, until the Horse has done,
The Cur flies off, and he rides on.
| To the Honourable Mr. D. T. | |