The works, in verse and prose, of William Shenstone, Esq In two volumes. With Decorations. The fourth edition |
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The Rape of the Trap.
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 | The works, in verse and prose, of William Shenstone, Esq |  |
The Rape of the Trap.
A Ballad, 1737.
'Twas in a land of learning,
The muses fav'rite city,
Such pranks of late
Were play'd by a rat,
As—tempt one to be witty,
The muses fav'rite city,
Such pranks of late
Were play'd by a rat,
As—tempt one to be witty,
201
All in a college study,
Where books were in great plenty;
This rat wou'd devour
More sense in an hour,
Then I cou'd write—in twenty.
Where books were in great plenty;
This rat wou'd devour
More sense in an hour,
Then I cou'd write—in twenty.
Corporeal food, 'tis granted,
Serves vermin less refin'd, Sir;
But this, a rat of taste,
All other rats surpass'd;
And he prey'd on the food of the mind, Sir:
Serves vermin less refin'd, Sir;
But this, a rat of taste,
All other rats surpass'd;
And he prey'd on the food of the mind, Sir:
His breakfast, half the morning,
He constantly attended;
And when the bell rung
For ev'ning song,
His dinner scarce was ended!
He constantly attended;
And when the bell rung
For ev'ning song,
His dinner scarce was ended!
He spar'd not ev'n heroics,
On which we poets pride us;
And wou'd make no more
Of king Arthur's , by the score
Than—all the world beside does
On which we poets pride us;
And wou'd make no more
Of king Arthur's , by the score
Than—all the world beside does
In books of geo-graphy,
He made the maps to flutter:
A river or a sea
Was to him a dish of tea;
And a kingdom, bread and butter.
He made the maps to flutter:
A river or a sea
Was to him a dish of tea;
And a kingdom, bread and butter.
202
But if some mawkish potion
Might chance to over-dose him,
To check its rage,
He took a page
Of logick—to compose him—
Might chance to over-dose him,
To check its rage,
He took a page
Of logick—to compose him—
A trap, in haste and anger,
Was bought you need not doubt on't;
And, such was the gin,
Were a lion once got in,
He cou'd not, I think, get out on't.
Was bought you need not doubt on't;
And, such was the gin,
Were a lion once got in,
He cou'd not, I think, get out on't.
With cheese, not books, 'twas baited,
The fact—I'll not belye it—
Since none—I tell you that—
Whether scholar or rat
Minds books, when he has other diet.
The fact—I'll not belye it—
Since none—I tell you that—
Whether scholar or rat
Minds books, when he has other diet.
But more of trap and bait, Sir,
Why shou'd I sing, or either?
Since the rat, who knew the sleight,
Came in the dead of night,
And dragg'd 'em away together:
Why shou'd I sing, or either?
Since the rat, who knew the sleight,
Came in the dead of night,
And dragg'd 'em away together:
Both trap and bait were vanish'd,
Thro' a fracture in the flooring;
Which, tho' so trim.
It now may seem,
Had then—a dozen or more in.
Thro' a fracture in the flooring;
Which, tho' so trim.
It now may seem,
Had then—a dozen or more in.
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Then answer this, ye sages!
Nor deem I mean to wrong ye,
Had the rat which thus did seize on
The trap, less claim to reason,
Than many a scull among ye?
Nor deem I mean to wrong ye,
Had the rat which thus did seize on
The trap, less claim to reason,
Than many a scull among ye?
Dan Prior's mice, I own it,
Were vermin of condition;
But this rat who merely learn'd
What rats alone concern'd,
Was the greater politician.
Were vermin of condition;
But this rat who merely learn'd
What rats alone concern'd,
Was the greater politician.
That England's topsy-turvy,
Is clear from these mishaps, Sir;
Since traps, we may determine,
Will no longer take our vermin,
But vermin take our traps, Sir.
Is clear from these mishaps, Sir;
Since traps, we may determine,
Will no longer take our vermin,
But vermin take our traps, Sir.
Let sophs, by rats infested,
Then trust in cats to catch 'em;
Lest they grow as learn'd as we,
In our studies; where, d'ye see,
No mortal sits to watch 'em.
Then trust in cats to catch 'em;
Lest they grow as learn'd as we,
In our studies; where, d'ye see,
No mortal sits to watch 'em.
Good luck betide our captains;
Good luck betide our cats, Sir:
And grant that the one
May quell the Spanish Don,
And the other destroy our rats, Sir.
Good luck betide our cats, Sir:
And grant that the one
May quell the Spanish Don,
And the other destroy our rats, Sir.
| The works, in verse and prose, of William Shenstone, Esq | |