A collection of poems on Several Occasions Publish'd in the Craftsman. By Caleb D'Anvers of Gray's Inn, Esq [i.e. Nicholas Amhurst] |
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 | A collection of poems on Several Occasions |  |
1
To His Excellency Philip Earl of Chesterfield, ON HIS Extraordinary Embassy to HOLLAND.
O Chesterfield, with early Laurels crown'd,
For poignant Wit and nervous Sense renown'd,
Whom all the Powers of Eloquence adorn,
For publick Scenes and great Employments Born,
A while indulgent to my Verse attend,
Of every Art the Judge, to every Muse a Friend.
For poignant Wit and nervous Sense renown'd,
Whom all the Powers of Eloquence adorn,
For publick Scenes and great Employments Born,
2
Of every Art the Judge, to every Muse a Friend.
Now for two Years, by wrathful Heaven ordain'd,
Discord and Strife thro' half the Globe have reign'd,
As long hath Britain mourn'd her wayward Fate,
Of Europe labouring to support the Weight,
As long her warlike Fleets have plough'd the Main,
And numerous Armies have been paid in vain,
While o'er the World her boasted Commerce fails,
His Treasures seized the Bankrupt Merchant wails,
The Looms stand still, Britannia's Golden Mines,
And starved in Ease the Artizan repines,
The various Burthens of the State increase,
Thus long prepared for War, not yet assured of Peace,
Discord and Strife thro' half the Globe have reign'd,
As long hath Britain mourn'd her wayward Fate,
Of Europe labouring to support the Weight,
As long her warlike Fleets have plough'd the Main,
And numerous Armies have been paid in vain,
While o'er the World her boasted Commerce fails,
His Treasures seized the Bankrupt Merchant wails,
The Looms stand still, Britannia's Golden Mines,
And starved in Ease the Artizan repines,
The various Burthens of the State increase,
Thus long prepared for War, not yet assured of Peace,
In this dread Crisis, this Suspence of Fate,
When every Mail alarms the doubtful State,
When Hopes and Fears our Breasts alternate move,
Well does our King his wise Discernment prove,
While to such Hands he delegates his Power,
And deigns that Merit shall repine no more.
When every Mail alarms the doubtful State,
When Hopes and Fears our Breasts alternate move,
Well does our King his wise Discernment prove,
While to such Hands he delegates his Power,
And deigns that Merit shall repine no more.
To recommend thy Name, in such a Reign,
Titles seem needless, and Distinctions vain,
On the strong Basis of Desert you stand,
Nor owe your Greatness to a second Hand,
By no mean Arts or servile Courtship rise,
But Virtue mark'd you out to Brunswick's Eyes,
In Knowledge, Sense and Honour you confide,
And your high Lineage is your meanest Pride.
Titles seem needless, and Distinctions vain,
3
Nor owe your Greatness to a second Hand,
By no mean Arts or servile Courtship rise,
But Virtue mark'd you out to Brunswick's Eyes,
In Knowledge, Sense and Honour you confide,
And your high Lineage is your meanest Pride.
Already, conscious of thy spreading Fame,
The Belgian Powers thy timely Presence claim,
In this nice Juncture of contending States,
Like Churchill once to prosper their Debates,
Methinks I see thee in their Councils join,
Of mystick Leagues unraveling the Design;
In upright Measures skill'd, thy generous Heart
Scorns the low Cunning of a Jugler's Art,
By Tricks and Fraud attempting to succeed,
Or skinning o'er the Wounds, which soon afresh will bleed.
The Belgian Powers thy timely Presence claim,
In this nice Juncture of contending States,
Like Churchill once to prosper their Debates,
Methinks I see thee in their Councils join,
Of mystick Leagues unraveling the Design;
In upright Measures skill'd, thy generous Heart
Scorns the low Cunning of a Jugler's Art,
By Tricks and Fraud attempting to succeed,
Or skinning o'er the Wounds, which soon afresh will bleed.
For, if the sanguine Muse aright presage
From thy known Talents, which forerun thy Age,
By prudent Counsels and deliberate Schemes,
(Proving all Ways, and shunning all Extremes)
The Broils of Europe thou shalt still compose,
And reconcile to Peace the Scepter'd Foes,
Avert from Britain her projected Fate,
And prove another Temple to the State.
From thy known Talents, which forerun thy Age,
By prudent Counsels and deliberate Schemes,
(Proving all Ways, and shunning all Extremes)
The Broils of Europe thou shalt still compose,
And reconcile to Peace the Scepter'd Foes,
4
And prove another Temple to the State.
On Thee, my Lord, our quickening Hopes depend,
On Thee our Wishes and our Prayers attend;
Go forth, thy Country's Hope, thy Monarch's Boast,
And reach, with prosperous Gales, the destin'd Coast!
Of potent Realms prevent the direful Strife,
And call the withering Olive back to Life,
Restore the Peace of every jarring Land,
And fix the Ballance fast in Brunswick's Hand.
On Thee our Wishes and our Prayers attend;
Go forth, thy Country's Hope, thy Monarch's Boast,
And reach, with prosperous Gales, the destin'd Coast!
Of potent Realms prevent the direful Strife,
And call the withering Olive back to Life,
Restore the Peace of every jarring Land,
And fix the Ballance fast in Brunswick's Hand.
That Work perform'd (a Work of so much Art,
That only Stanhope can sustain the Part!)
Thy native, loud-applauding Shores regain,
And in the British Senate shine again,
Again thy Sovereign's Smiles and Counsels share,
By all the Nation bless'd, recover'd from Despair.
That only Stanhope can sustain the Part!)
Thy native, loud-applauding Shores regain,
And in the British Senate shine again,
Again thy Sovereign's Smiles and Counsels share,
By all the Nation bless'd, recover'd from Despair.
5
The Pacification.
Nick
Dapper, and the great De*l**ne,
Against whom Nick so oft has drawn
His hostile Pen, one Night last Week
Met at the Mitre, Joul by Cheek.
Unsought on both Sides was the Meeting,
So there was very little greeting;
No sparring Words nor formal Farce,
Your Servant, Sir, or kiss my A*se;
But down they sate, drank to the next,
Yet in their Stomachs somewhat vext;
Nick view'd the Doctor very hard;
The Doctor scowl'd upon the Bard;
But both the Poet and the Head,
Being, you know, extremely bred,
Scorn'd to disturb the jovial Table
With their old Piques and College Squabble.
Against whom Nick so oft has drawn
His hostile Pen, one Night last Week
Met at the Mitre, Joul by Cheek.
Unsought on both Sides was the Meeting,
So there was very little greeting;
No sparring Words nor formal Farce,
Your Servant, Sir, or kiss my A*se;
But down they sate, drank to the next,
Yet in their Stomachs somewhat vext;
Nick view'd the Doctor very hard;
The Doctor scowl'd upon the Bard;
But both the Poet and the Head,
Being, you know, extremely bred,
Scorn'd to disturb the jovial Table
With their old Piques and College Squabble.
Thus for some Hours, with silent Grudge,
They sate Mum-chance, as you may judge,
Drank a great deal, and now and then
Popt in a Word with other Men.
At length, St. Dunstan's Clock struck One,
And all the sober Cuffs were gone;
The rest, who were inclined to stay,
Call'd for a Bottle and to pay;
The Doctor and the Bard made two,
Who are no Starters, you all know.
They sate Mum-chance, as you may judge,
6
Popt in a Word with other Men.
At length, St. Dunstan's Clock struck One,
And all the sober Cuffs were gone;
The rest, who were inclined to stay,
Call'd for a Bottle and to pay;
The Doctor and the Bard made two,
Who are no Starters, you all know.
Good Wine, they say, sharp Quarrels ends,
And of old Foes makes lasting Friends;
Which once, for Instance, happen'd here,
As by the Sequel will appear.
And of old Foes makes lasting Friends;
Which once, for Instance, happen'd here,
As by the Sequel will appear.
They soon grew warm, and, e'er they parted,
Were very frank and open-hearted,
Talk'd twenty different Matters o'er;
The more they talk'd, agreed the more;
They laugh'd, and intermix'd their Chat
With Puns and Quibbles very pat;
The Doctor toasted Mrs. W**d,
And Nick another, full as good.
Were very frank and open-hearted,
Talk'd twenty different Matters o'er;
The more they talk'd, agreed the more;
They laugh'd, and intermix'd their Chat
With Puns and Quibbles very pat;
The Doctor toasted Mrs. W**d,
And Nick another, full as good.
Then quoth the Poet to the Don,
“How does our Friend, the Great Sir John?
“For if I fail not in my Wine,
“He was your Patron, well as mine.”
The Doctor smiled, well pleased to railly
The Bites, and Bubbles of the Alley,
Rail'd at South-Sea and modern Jobbing,
With some broad Hints against one Robin.
“How does our Friend, the Great Sir John?
7
“He was your Patron, well as mine.”
The Doctor smiled, well pleased to railly
The Bites, and Bubbles of the Alley,
Rail'd at South-Sea and modern Jobbing,
With some broad Hints against one Robin.
On which, said Nick, “for eight long Years,
“We've been together by the Ears,
“On both Sides made a great ado;
“You turn'd me out; I libell'd you;
“For my Part, Doctor, I confess
“Myself in Fault; I can no less;
“I was a Fool and see my Folly,
“Which makes me wondrous melancholy,
“For rather than have thus been bamm'd
“I wish the Whigs had all been d****d.
“We've been together by the Ears,
“On both Sides made a great ado;
“You turn'd me out; I libell'd you;
“For my Part, Doctor, I confess
“Myself in Fault; I can no less;
“I was a Fool and see my Folly,
“Which makes me wondrous melancholy,
“For rather than have thus been bamm'd
“I wish the Whigs had all been d****d.
The Doctor answer'd very mellow,
“Faith, thou'rt an hon—hon—honest Fellow!
“How could I use thee so?—alass!
“I blush to look thee in the Face;
“But 'twas against my Will—you know
“How with your Friend, Nick, Matters go;
“You understand—and so I hope—a
“I wish the Rascals all a Rope—
“Do, prithee, Nick! forgive me, do;
“Behold these Tears; see how they flow;
“I ask your Pardon, and, in short,
“Am very—hiccup!—sorry for't;
“For rather than have caus'd this Evil,
“I would the Ch*ch were at the Devil.
“Faith, thou'rt an hon—hon—honest Fellow!
“How could I use thee so?—alass!
“I blush to look thee in the Face;
“But 'twas against my Will—you know
“How with your Friend, Nick, Matters go;
8
“I wish the Rascals all a Rope—
“Do, prithee, Nick! forgive me, do;
“Behold these Tears; see how they flow;
“I ask your Pardon, and, in short,
“Am very—hiccup!—sorry for't;
“For rather than have caus'd this Evil,
“I would the Ch*ch were at the Devil.
“Here then, quoth Nick, our Quarrel ends,
“And from henceforth We two are Friends;
“And cursed be he, whose plotting Brain
“Shall strive to make us Foes again.
“And from henceforth We two are Friends;
“And cursed be he, whose plotting Brain
“Shall strive to make us Foes again.
“Ay, cursed be he, the Don reply'd,
“Who shall henceforth our Love divide;
“Cursed be the Villain! whether Doctor,
“Or Brother-Head, or Cousin-Proctor,
“Vice-Chancellor or Senior Fellow;
“E'en let them rail, and roar and bellow;
“Of what e'er Standing or Degree,
“I'll quit them all to tope with Thee;
“For, entre nous, those hooded Gentry
“Are sad dull Rogues, Nineteen in Twenty,
“Damn'd, dreaming, empty Sculs! and rather
“Than smoke a Pipe with H*le or M****r,
“I would, dear Nick,—hold! let me think—
“I'd fast twelve Hours from Meat and Drink.
“Who shall henceforth our Love divide;
“Cursed be the Villain! whether Doctor,
“Or Brother-Head, or Cousin-Proctor,
“Vice-Chancellor or Senior Fellow;
“E'en let them rail, and roar and bellow;
“Of what e'er Standing or Degree,
“I'll quit them all to tope with Thee;
“For, entre nous, those hooded Gentry
“Are sad dull Rogues, Nineteen in Twenty,
9
“Than smoke a Pipe with H*le or M****r,
“I would, dear Nick,—hold! let me think—
“I'd fast twelve Hours from Meat and Drink.
“Dear Sir, quoth Nick, compose your Mind,
“You make me blush, you are so kind;
“My guilty Works rise up to Sight;
“How, Doctor, shall I do you Right?
“My Poems, Pamphlets, Dedications,
“Lewd Tales and tragical Relations
“From Grub-street and the Lord knows whence,
“Each Page that gives the least Offence,
“(Ev'n that unlucky Bastard Terry,
“Who with your Reverence makes so merry,)
“To morrow shall in Flames arise,
“For a Burnt-Offering to the Skies.
“You make me blush, you are so kind;
“My guilty Works rise up to Sight;
“How, Doctor, shall I do you Right?
“My Poems, Pamphlets, Dedications,
“Lewd Tales and tragical Relations
“From Grub-street and the Lord knows whence,
“Each Page that gives the least Offence,
“(Ev'n that unlucky Bastard Terry,
“Who with your Reverence makes so merry,)
“To morrow shall in Flames arise,
“For a Burnt-Offering to the Skies.
“What, burn thy Works so arch and pretty!
“No, quoth the Doctor, that's a Pity;
“Such Favours how can I acknowledge?—
“Come, here's Confusion to the College.
“But! O dear Nick, once more go down,
“and visit that ungrateful Town;
“For though by an unjust Decree,
“(and Oh! dire Thought! pronounc'd by me)
“Thou from St. John's art driv'n away,
“Of buzzing, witless Drones the Prey,
“At my own Lodgings thou shalt lye,
“And all the strutting Sots defye,
“Eat and drink well at College-Charge,
“And be as welcome—as King George.
“No, quoth the Doctor, that's a Pity;
“Such Favours how can I acknowledge?—
“Come, here's Confusion to the College.
“But! O dear Nick, once more go down,
“and visit that ungrateful Town;
10
“(and Oh! dire Thought! pronounc'd by me)
“Thou from St. John's art driv'n away,
“Of buzzing, witless Drones the Prey,
“At my own Lodgings thou shalt lye,
“And all the strutting Sots defye,
“Eat and drink well at College-Charge,
“And be as welcome—as King George.
To a LADY, Who had YELLOW HAIR.
Whilst on thy Golden Locks I gaze,
And what I like sincerely praise,
Coldly you turn your Head away,
And tax with Flattery all I say;
But tho', when present, you prevail,
And interrupt my eager Tale,
Yet shall the absent Muse supply
What to my Tongue your Frowns deny.
And what I like sincerely praise,
Coldly you turn your Head away,
And tax with Flattery all I say;
But tho', when present, you prevail,
And interrupt my eager Tale,
Yet shall the absent Muse supply
What to my Tongue your Frowns deny.
Let other Damsels, oddly vain,
With Quack-Receipts their Features stain,
And, studious of a false Renown,
For borrow'd Beauties change their own;
Boldly do thou despise the Taste
Of Leaden Combs, of Paint and Paste,
In thy own native Charms arise,
Nor think we judge with vulgar Eyes.
With Quack-Receipts their Features stain,
11
For borrow'd Beauties change their own;
Boldly do thou despise the Taste
Of Leaden Combs, of Paint and Paste,
In thy own native Charms arise,
Nor think we judge with vulgar Eyes.
The Locks, which flow'd in Waves of Gold,
Subdu'd the toughest Hearts of Old.
For Charms like these, Almighty Jove
Despised his Starry Realms above,
And, kindled with a mortal Flame,
Down to our Earth a Suitor came;
For, if old Tales we call to Mind,
Or look in Ovid, we shall find
That Leda, Danae, and the rest,
Whom Jove in Masquerade possest,
Were Damsels of a Snowy Hue,
With Locks of Amber, just like you.
Such Tresses, in the Days of Yore,
Venus, the Queen of Beauty, wore;
Which made e'en Mars forsake the Field,
And forced the God of War to yield.
Subdu'd the toughest Hearts of Old.
For Charms like these, Almighty Jove
Despised his Starry Realms above,
And, kindled with a mortal Flame,
Down to our Earth a Suitor came;
For, if old Tales we call to Mind,
Or look in Ovid, we shall find
That Leda, Danae, and the rest,
Whom Jove in Masquerade possest,
Were Damsels of a Snowy Hue,
With Locks of Amber, just like you.
Such Tresses, in the Days of Yore,
Venus, the Queen of Beauty, wore;
Which made e'en Mars forsake the Field,
And forced the God of War to yield.
12
Fair Rosamond as Poets sing,
Enamour'd thus a British King;
With blazing Hair she pierced his Heart,
And ev'ry Ringlet proved a Dart.
Enamour'd thus a British King;
With blazing Hair she pierced his Heart,
And ev'ry Ringlet proved a Dart.
On Thee may better Fortune light,
Nor may thy Charms such Rage excite!
For tho' a Monarch wore her Chain,
What did alass! that Triumph gain?
An injured Queen, with vengeful Rage,
Pursued her in the Bloom of Age,
And, in a curs'd ill-fated Hour,
Surprized her in the conscious Bower;
There, with the Dagger and the Bowl
Wreak'd all the Fury of her Soul.
Nor may thy Charms such Rage excite!
For tho' a Monarch wore her Chain,
What did alass! that Triumph gain?
An injured Queen, with vengeful Rage,
Pursued her in the Bloom of Age,
And, in a curs'd ill-fated Hour,
Surprized her in the conscious Bower;
There, with the Dagger and the Bowl
Wreak'd all the Fury of her Soul.
But no such Ills infest the Plain;
Safe in my Cottage may'st thou reign;
No jealous Queen will urge her Right,
Nor watch thy Footsteps Day and Night;
My Heart unrival'd thou may'st keep,
Whilst on the Hills I tend my Sheep,
Unenvied thro' the Vales may'st rove,
And without Fear or Danger love.
Safe in my Cottage may'st thou reign;
No jealous Queen will urge her Right,
Nor watch thy Footsteps Day and Night;
My Heart unrival'd thou may'st keep,
Whilst on the Hills I tend my Sheep,
Unenvied thro' the Vales may'st rove,
And without Fear or Danger love.
13
No more then, with unkind Disdain,
Reject the Conquests you obtain,
To Falsehood and delusive Art,
Wresting the Dictates of my Heart;
Vouchsafe, for once, in Man to trust,
Nor rashly deem us all unjust;
For me (believe me when I swear;
And thou, O Venus, witness bear)
However squeamish Fops may range,
However Tastes and Modes may change,
Whether the Black, the Brown, or Fair
Shall chance to reign the favourite Hair,
Still shall my Voice those Charms approve,
Which vanquish'd Henry, Mars and Jove.
Reject the Conquests you obtain,
To Falsehood and delusive Art,
Wresting the Dictates of my Heart;
Vouchsafe, for once, in Man to trust,
Nor rashly deem us all unjust;
For me (believe me when I swear;
And thou, O Venus, witness bear)
However squeamish Fops may range,
However Tastes and Modes may change,
Whether the Black, the Brown, or Fair
Shall chance to reign the favourite Hair,
Still shall my Voice those Charms approve,
Which vanquish'd Henry, Mars and Jove.
14
TO Miss Polly Peachum A TOWN PASTORAL. Written in Imitation of the Fourth Eclogue of Virgil.
By J. W. of Cheapside, Linnen-Draper.
Sicelides Musæ, paulo Majora canamus.
Virgil.
Virgil.
Farewell! ye Nymphs, who range the humble Plains;
Henceforth a nobler Subject swells my Strains;
Aid all ye Muses; all your Strength combine;
For in dear Polly all the Muses shine.
Henceforth a nobler Subject swells my Strains;
Aid all ye Muses; all your Strength combine;
For in dear Polly all the Muses shine.
When on the Stage you act the moving Part,
My Ears and Eyes conspire to rack my Heart;
I gaze, I listen; and in Doubt am lost
Which happy Faculty is ravish'd most;
Thy Charms transport me, while I bless thy Voice,
And in the general, loud Applause rejoice.
My Ears and Eyes conspire to rack my Heart;
I gaze, I listen; and in Doubt am lost
Which happy Faculty is ravish'd most;
Thy Charms transport me, while I bless thy Voice,
And in the general, loud Applause rejoice.
Through every Scene thy rigid Fate I moan,
And in thy soft Distress forget my own;
Domestick Charges, Courtly Bills unpaid,
Increasing Taxes and declining Trade,
Debts, Pensions, Bribes no more disturb my Mind,
And ev'n the Coal-Act leaves no sting behind.
And in thy soft Distress forget my own;
15
Increasing Taxes and declining Trade,
Debts, Pensions, Bribes no more disturb my Mind,
And ev'n the Coal-Act leaves no sting behind.
With Thee when Lucy dares dispute the Prize,
On the vain Slut I fix my scornful Eyes;
Contempt and Rage my throbbing Heart invade,
And from my Soul I curse—the Saucy Jade!
On the vain Slut I fix my scornful Eyes;
Contempt and Rage my throbbing Heart invade,
And from my Soul I curse—the Saucy Jade!
When bound in Chains the great Macheath I see,
Betray'd and sentenced to the fatal Tree,
Moved with thy Tears, my Patriot-Fires decay,
And publick Zeal to private Love gives Way,
Compassion rises for the Robbing Race,
And, for thy Sake, I beg an Act of Grace.
Betray'd and sentenced to the fatal Tree,
Moved with thy Tears, my Patriot-Fires decay,
And publick Zeal to private Love gives Way,
Compassion rises for the Robbing Race,
And, for thy Sake, I beg an Act of Grace.
But shall my Lips, against the righteous Laws,
Vouchsafe to plead a publick Robber's Cause?
Ah! no—since Justice dooms him to the Cart,
Let him be hang'd, that I may gain thy Heart—
Yet how can I expect thy Heart to gain,
When Nobles sigh and Ribons glare in vain?
Vouchsafe to plead a publick Robber's Cause?
Ah! no—since Justice dooms him to the Cart,
Let him be hang'd, that I may gain thy Heart—
Yet how can I expect thy Heart to gain,
When Nobles sigh and Ribons glare in vain?
Once more I long, with unexampled Art
To see Thee act this dear, delightful Part;
When not in vain thou shalt thy Fate bemoan,
The Rapture ours, the Benefit thy own.
Close in my Purse a Guinea, golden-bright,
I keep reserved for that expected Night;
More would I give!—but what my Stars deny,
Let Courtiers and contending Peers supply.
To see Thee act this dear, delightful Part;
16
The Rapture ours, the Benefit thy own.
Close in my Purse a Guinea, golden-bright,
I keep reserved for that expected Night;
More would I give!—but what my Stars deny,
Let Courtiers and contending Peers supply.
Nor groundless is the Hope—with Joy I see
Courtiers and Peers contend in praising Thee;
Sooth'd with thy British Notes and warbling Flights,
The Patriot and Pensioner unites.
Ev'n thy own Sex thy shining Charms extol,
And, young or old, acknowledge pretty Poll;
While Envy is itself in Wonder lost,
And Factions strive who shall applaud Thee most.
Courtiers and Peers contend in praising Thee;
Sooth'd with thy British Notes and warbling Flights,
The Patriot and Pensioner unites.
Ev'n thy own Sex thy shining Charms extol,
And, young or old, acknowledge pretty Poll;
While Envy is itself in Wonder lost,
And Factions strive who shall applaud Thee most.
17
CRAMBO-SATYRICON: Or, A Learned, Poetical PARAPHRASE ON THE Christ-Cross-Row.
Occasion'd by Col. PLATOON's late, ingenious Dissertation on the Letter P.
Address'd to the Colonel.
Since
, Sir, on the Alphabet, lately 'tis grown
The Fashion to spread our Wit about Town,
My Horn-book once more I shall take into Hand,
And explain all the Letters, as in order they stand.
The Fashion to spread our Wit about Town,
My Horn-book once more I shall take into Hand,
And explain all the Letters, as in order they stand.
Great A stands for Army, as B stands for Bubble,
And C points out Craftsman, or Caleb in Trouble.
The Dutch and the D---l begin with a D,
And England, the fam'd Ballance-holder, with E.
F serves for gay France, which I hope will not swerve,
And G for Great George, whom God long preserve!
With H we spell Horace, for his Wit so renown'd,
And I denotes Isaac, that Statesman profound!
When a K and an L stand for Lawyer and Knave,
Look on M as Memento, how you ought to behave.
N stands for a Name, which I dare not speak out,
But O is a Cypher will explain it, no Doubt.
With P we beg Pensions, to keep out the Pope;
To Quibbles with Q the Law will give Scope;
And R marks out Robin, a Ribband a Rope.
S squints at South-Sea, which has made the Land rue,
And Tyburn with T. calls aloud for its Due.
Single V serves in Verse, against Vice to complain,
And W swears that he'll humble proud Spain.
Great Xerxes the Tyrant, begins with an X,
And Y stands for Yes, in all Votes for a Tax;
Zeal flags without Z, an odd crooked Letter,
And & wishes Things may go better.
And C points out Craftsman, or Caleb in Trouble.
18
And England, the fam'd Ballance-holder, with E.
F serves for gay France, which I hope will not swerve,
And G for Great George, whom God long preserve!
With H we spell Horace, for his Wit so renown'd,
And I denotes Isaac, that Statesman profound!
When a K and an L stand for Lawyer and Knave,
Look on M as Memento, how you ought to behave.
N stands for a Name, which I dare not speak out,
But O is a Cypher will explain it, no Doubt.
With P we beg Pensions, to keep out the Pope;
To Quibbles with Q the Law will give Scope;
And R marks out Robin, a Ribband a Rope.
S squints at South-Sea, which has made the Land rue,
And Tyburn with T. calls aloud for its Due.
Single V serves in Verse, against Vice to complain,
And W swears that he'll humble proud Spain.
Great Xerxes the Tyrant, begins with an X,
And Y stands for Yes, in all Votes for a Tax;
19
And & wishes Things may go better.
THE INSCRIPTION, Which was lately found on a
Large MARBLE PILLAR Amongst some RUINS at WHITEHALL.
21
21
ATTEMPTED in ENGLISH.
This Monument, consign'd to latest Times,
Stands to perpetuate Wolsey's daring Crimes;
Who long, by wicked Arts, of Power possess'd,
(The Lust of Plunder raging in his Breast)
Rais'd this Imperial Dome, more vain than wise,
Amidst the Widow's Tears and Orphan's Cries;
With boundless Wealth and wild Ambition cloy'd,
He Fame alike and Infamy enjoy'd;
Rapacious, guileful, insolent of Heart,
He fondly boasted Ciceronian Art;
His poor fallacious, tinsel Eloquence
Tickled the Ear, but ne'er inform'd the Sense;
Whilst every plausible Harangue affords
A specious, empty, puzzling Rote of Words.
Stands to perpetuate Wolsey's daring Crimes;
Who long, by wicked Arts, of Power possess'd,
(The Lust of Plunder raging in his Breast)
Rais'd this Imperial Dome, more vain than wise,
Amidst the Widow's Tears and Orphan's Cries;
With boundless Wealth and wild Ambition cloy'd,
He Fame alike and Infamy enjoy'd;
Rapacious, guileful, insolent of Heart,
He fondly boasted Ciceronian Art;
His poor fallacious, tinsel Eloquence
Tickled the Ear, but ne'er inform'd the Sense;
22
A specious, empty, puzzling Rote of Words.
Vers'd in the Art of Lying, from his Youth,
His Genius scorn'd the mean Restraints of Truth.
Good Nature, Reason, Argument and Sense
Were all supply'd with shameless Impudence;
A Purple Robber; who, for impious Gain,
Saw his poor Country bleed through every Vein;
And though in Peace, as He himself confess'd,
With all the Miseries of a War oppress'd;
Whilst his voracious Tribe grew fat with Spoil,
And flourished on the Shipwreck of our Isle;
Rash to provoke, and yet afraid of War;
He sued for Peace with Bribes and Sordidness of Prayer.
His Genius scorn'd the mean Restraints of Truth.
Good Nature, Reason, Argument and Sense
Were all supply'd with shameless Impudence;
A Purple Robber; who, for impious Gain,
Saw his poor Country bleed through every Vein;
And though in Peace, as He himself confess'd,
With all the Miseries of a War oppress'd;
Whilst his voracious Tribe grew fat with Spoil,
And flourished on the Shipwreck of our Isle;
Rash to provoke, and yet afraid of War;
He sued for Peace with Bribes and Sordidness of Prayer.
Thus to a People, long in Camps renown'd,
With never-fading Wreaths and Trophies crown'd,
The just Revenge of Arms, which Heaven supply'd,
By base, inglorious Treaties He deny'd,
Saw their old Honour and their Trade decay,
To Friends and Foes, by Turns, a despicable Prey.
At length grown full of
Titles, full of Crimes,
The Scandal, Curse and Grievance of the Times,
Abhorr'd by all, suspected by the Crown,
By his own Weight He rush'd impetuous down;
Soon as He fell, with abject Fears dismay'd,
He all the Coward, all the Wretch betray'd,
More Meanness shew'd, a more dejected Mind,
Than Insolence before, when unconfin'd,
And, his own Will the Law, he triumph'd o'er Mankind.
With never-fading Wreaths and Trophies crown'd,
The just Revenge of Arms, which Heaven supply'd,
By base, inglorious Treaties He deny'd,
Saw their old Honour and their Trade decay,
To Friends and Foes, by Turns, a despicable Prey.
23
The Scandal, Curse and Grievance of the Times,
Abhorr'd by all, suspected by the Crown,
By his own Weight He rush'd impetuous down;
Soon as He fell, with abject Fears dismay'd,
He all the Coward, all the Wretch betray'd,
More Meanness shew'd, a more dejected Mind,
Than Insolence before, when unconfin'd,
And, his own Will the Law, he triumph'd o'er Mankind.
Attend, ye Courtiers, though with Power elate;
Be warn'd by his Example, shun his Fate.
Be warn'd by his Example, shun his Fate.
Eachard says, that his annual Incomes equall'd, if not exceeded the Revenues of the Crown. See his History, Vol. I. Pag. 633.
See the same Author concerning his Methods of amassing Riches by racking the People , Vol. I. Pag. 636.
It is well known that he took Pensions from several foreign Princes, particularly from the Emperour and the French King, and alternately involved this Nation in expensive Wars with those Princes, as his own Interest or Passion guided him.
He was one of the greatest Engrossers of those Times; being, Bishop of Tournay, Bishop of Lincoln, and Archbishop of York; with which he held the Bishopricks of Winchester and Durham and the Abby of St. Albans in commendum, and the Bishopricks of Bath, Worcester and Hereford in Farm. Besides all these, He was a Cardinal, and Legate a Latere from the Pope, Lord High Chancellor of England, and had monopolized the Disposal of all the Ecclesiastical Benefices and most of the civil Offices, Honours and Preferments. See the same Author, Vol. I. Pag. 363.
24
POLLY PEACHUM:
A New BALLAD.
I
Of all the Belles that tread the Stage,There's none like pretty Polly,
And all the Musick of the Age,
Except her Voice, is Folly;
The waining Nymphs of Drury-Lane
I now can bear no longer;
And when she's present, I disdain
My quondam Favourite Younger.
II
Compar'd with her, how flat appearsCuzzoni or Faustina?
And when she sings, I shut my Ears
To warbling Senesino.
25
Her Mother though a Whore is?
Those Vices now are high in Vogue,
And Virtue out of Door is.
III
Great Dames there are, who break their VowsAs oft as Madam Peachum,
And greater Robbers than her Spouse,
Though Tyburn cannot reach 'em.
What though Mackheath too is as bad
As Father or as Mother,
And, blest with Polly, is so mad
To ramble to another?
IV
Polly, I ween, is not the first,Nor will she be the last, Sir,
Who in an Husband hath been curs'd,
And met the same Disaster.
How many Courtiers have we known,
Quite rotten ripe with Poxes,
Who, though they seldom wed but One,
Keep half a Dozen Doxies.
26
V
But Polly's not the worse a Pin,Her Charms not less cœlestial;
But though to Rogues and Whores a-kin,
An Angel is terrestrial.
Some Prudes indeed, with envious Spight,
Would blast her Reputation,
And tell us that to Ribands bright
She yields, upon Occasion.
VI
But these are all invented Lies,And vile outlandish Scandal,
Which from Italian Clubs arise,
And Partizans of Handel.
Then let us toast the blooming Lass,
Whose Charms have thus ensnared me,
I'd drink it in a brimming Glass,
Though Parson Herring heard me.
27
A PROJECT For MANNING His Majesy's ROYAL NAVY.
I
Whilst dull Projectors toil in vainTo Man the Royal Fleet,
And all their Schemes contriv'd with Pain,
Such Opposition meet.
II
Methinks how easy were the Thing,By Methods worthy Freemen,
Both for the Honour of the King,
And Service of the Seamen.
28
III
Nor is my Scheme at all confus'd,For no Bye Purpose made,
Let them like English Men be us'd,
And regularly paid.
EPIGRAM.
[What strange Resemblance can your Fancy see]
What strange Resemblance can your Fancy see'Twixt W---'s Fame and Wolsey's Infamy?
In vain through Greece and Italy you roam,
In vain explore our Annals here at Home,
In vain you conjure up old Shades from Hell,
For, as Friend Theobald hath express'd it well;
None but Himself can be his Parallel.
29
EPIGRAM.
[No Stone was dug from under Ground]
No Stone was dug from under Ground,That Wolsey's Infamy display'd;
Nor the least Likeness can be found
Between the Living and the Dead.
If this be true, pray tell me why
(Since all the hideous Piece abhor)
You always question whom 'tis by,
But never question whom 'tis for.
30
AN EPIGRAM ON A Late DEBATE in the H--- of C--- Concerning the NATIONAL DEBT.
Last Week in this Town was a furious Debate,
Between two great Masters and Champions of State;
Dread Havock ensued and most terrible Work,
While one fought for Norfolk, the other for York;
Their Hearts full of Ire and their Tongues sharp as Swords;
Sure never was seen such a Battle of Words!
Stout as Sutton and Figg to their Weapons they stood,
Their Eyes darted Fire and their Speeches drew Blood;
What one Man asserted, the other denyed;
They argued, objected, remark'd and replyed;
At length, quoth Sir William, let Numbers decide.
Between two great Masters and Champions of State;
Dread Havock ensued and most terrible Work,
While one fought for Norfolk, the other for York;
Their Hearts full of Ire and their Tongues sharp as Swords;
Sure never was seen such a Battle of Words!
Stout as Sutton and Figg to their Weapons they stood,
Their Eyes darted Fire and their Speeches drew Blood;
31
They argued, objected, remark'd and replyed;
At length, quoth Sir William, let Numbers decide.
Then nothing but Numbers, ay Numbers was heard,
Which, on telling of Noses, for Norfolk appear'd;
Though the Champion of York did his Sides so belabour,
He seemed but to want a clear Stage and no Favour.
Which, on telling of Noses, for Norfolk appear'd;
Though the Champion of York did his Sides so belabour,
He seemed but to want a clear Stage and no Favour.
Yet as it stands now, if the World judge aright,
Another such Triumph would demolish Him quite;
'Twas but a drawn Battle at best, without Doubt;
One triumph'd within Doors, the other without.
Another such Triumph would demolish Him quite;
'Twas but a drawn Battle at best, without Doubt;
One triumph'd within Doors, the other without.
32
TO Her ROYAL HIGHNESS THE Princess AMELIA, AT BATH.
O Princess, form'd with every Grace,
Fair Offspring of our Brunswick Race,
In whom such various Charms are join'd,
Beauty, Good-nature, Strength of Mind,
Griev'd with thy long-continued Ills,
(Which every loyal Briton feels)
To Heav'n my suppliant Voice I raise,
And consecrate these votive Lays.
Fair Offspring of our Brunswick Race,
In whom such various Charms are join'd,
Beauty, Good-nature, Strength of Mind,
Griev'd with thy long-continued Ills,
(Which every loyal Briton feels)
To Heav'n my suppliant Voice I raise,
And consecrate these votive Lays.
When late you left your Father's Court,
How mournful was the Day's Resort?
Each sympathetick Face and Heart
In your severe Distress took part,
Crouds sighing stood as you past by,
And Tears gush'd forth from every Eye,
Whilst, as with eager Looks they gaz'd,
Your Fate they mourn'd, your Sweetness prais'd,
And beg'd that Heav'n would ease your Pain,
And send you back in Health again.
How mournful was the Day's Resort?
Each sympathetick Face and Heart
In your severe Distress took part,
33
And Tears gush'd forth from every Eye,
Whilst, as with eager Looks they gaz'd,
Your Fate they mourn'd, your Sweetness prais'd,
And beg'd that Heav'n would ease your Pain,
And send you back in Health again.
Now let thy Springs and mineral Stores
Exert, O Bath, their utmost Powers,
Thy Climate more serenely shine,
Thy Leeches all their Aid combine,
The stubborn Illness to withstand,
And in one Cure rejoice the Land!
Exert, O Bath, their utmost Powers,
Thy Climate more serenely shine,
Thy Leeches all their Aid combine,
The stubborn Illness to withstand,
And in one Cure rejoice the Land!
To these may Heav'n a Blessing give,
And grant Amelia long to live!
Long may her lovely Virtues shine,
The Boast of her illustrious Line,
To bless some youthful Monarch's Arms,
Well worthy such exalted Charms!
And grant Amelia long to live!
Long may her lovely Virtues shine,
The Boast of her illustrious Line,
To bless some youthful Monarch's Arms,
Well worthy such exalted Charms!
Nor will the Power of Earth and Air
Disdain to hear a Nation's Prayer;
Lo! from on high He nods his Head;
Our Sorrows cease, our Fears are fled;
Amelia lives; the Royal Maid
Already feels cælestial Aid;
Returning Spirits warm her Breast,
No Midnight Pangs disturb her Rest,
Her Eyes their wonted Fires resume,
Fresh on her Cheeks the Roses bloom,
Charm after Charm renews her Face,
And every Morning adds a Grace.
Disdain to hear a Nation's Prayer;
Lo! from on high He nods his Head;
Our Sorrows cease, our Fears are fled;
34
Already feels cælestial Aid;
Returning Spirits warm her Breast,
No Midnight Pangs disturb her Rest,
Her Eyes their wonted Fires resume,
Fresh on her Cheeks the Roses bloom,
Charm after Charm renews her Face,
And every Morning adds a Grace.
O speed! ye Powers, that happy Day,
When in full Health and Vigour gay,
Returning she shall bless our Sight,
Of hailing Crouds the dear Delight,
While George and Caroline rejoice,
And Biitain lifts to Heav'n her grateful Voice.
When in full Health and Vigour gay,
Returning she shall bless our Sight,
Of hailing Crouds the dear Delight,
While George and Caroline rejoice,
And Biitain lifts to Heav'n her grateful Voice.
35
[_]
ADVERTISEMENT:
The two following little Pieces of Poetry were occasioned by a Conversation, in which a Gentleman happened to say, by way of Gallantry, to a young Lady present, who had a fine Complexion, that she was perfect Waxwork; from whence she took the Name of Waxy. The Reader will perceive that They were written in Imitation of Pygmalion and the Statue in Ovid.
WAXY: OR, VERSES upon a Young Lady's BIRTH-DAY.
Hail to the Light of this revolving Morn,
On which such Beauty to the World was born,
Or rather made—for thus Traditions say,
That on this happy, this auspicious Day,
Salmon, the female Artist, whose Renown,
Draws to her Shop the Country and the Town,
A curious Piece, compleat in every Part,
The utmost Trial of her Plastick Art,
Resolv'd to make; the mighty Work design'd,
And thrice, with Art, the costly Wax refin'd;
Then kneaded into Form the pliant Mold,
Which glitter'd in her Hands, like burnish'd Gold;
Graceful and tall she plans the rising Dame,
And with exact Proportion builds the Frame;
Upon her Lips the lively Coral glows,
And her Teeth shine between in Ivory Rows;
The mimick Lustre brightens in her Eyes,
And on her Breast the Snowy Circles rise;
She turns her Shape, with Tresses decks her Head,
And mixes on her Cheeks the White and Red;
O'er her fair Limbs she draws the azure Veins,
Which seem like Rills that wind thro' flow'ry Plains;
Branches her Fingers out in beauteous Length,
And adds to every Feature, Grace and Strength;
The finish'd Piece, with utmost Skill compos'd,
The various Charms of all the Sex disclos'd.
On which such Beauty to the World was born,
Or rather made—for thus Traditions say,
That on this happy, this auspicious Day,
Salmon, the female Artist, whose Renown,
Draws to her Shop the Country and the Town,
A curious Piece, compleat in every Part,
The utmost Trial of her Plastick Art,
Resolv'd to make; the mighty Work design'd,
And thrice, with Art, the costly Wax refin'd;
36
Which glitter'd in her Hands, like burnish'd Gold;
Graceful and tall she plans the rising Dame,
And with exact Proportion builds the Frame;
Upon her Lips the lively Coral glows,
And her Teeth shine between in Ivory Rows;
The mimick Lustre brightens in her Eyes,
And on her Breast the Snowy Circles rise;
She turns her Shape, with Tresses decks her Head,
And mixes on her Cheeks the White and Red;
O'er her fair Limbs she draws the azure Veins,
Which seem like Rills that wind thro' flow'ry Plains;
Branches her Fingers out in beauteous Length,
And adds to every Feature, Grace and Strength;
The finish'd Piece, with utmost Skill compos'd,
The various Charms of all the Sex disclos'd.
To view this unexampled Work of Art,
Crouds flock'd of old and young from every Part;
All saw, and all the matchless Form admir'd,
But chiefly One, with stronger Raptures fir'd,
Who with a Lover's Eye each Charm survey'd,
And thus to Heaven, in bitter Anguish, pray'd.
Crouds flock'd of old and young from every Part;
All saw, and all the matchless Form admir'd,
But chiefly One, with stronger Raptures fir'd,
Who with a Lover's Eye each Charm survey'd,
And thus to Heaven, in bitter Anguish, pray'd.
37
Thou Power Supreme, at whose commanding Name,
From one poor Rib the first fair Woman came,
If Miracles for ever do not cease,
O! work one now; inform this lifeless Piece;
Let not those sparkling Eyes, which charm my Sight,
Shine to charm only, void of real Light;
Nor let those Limbs, so lovely to behold,
Feel to the Touch all languid, stiff and cold;
Give her a Soul, and as her Lips I kiss,
Let them pout forth and soften with the Bliss;
And those fair, Virgin Globes, at thy Command,
Let them heave gently up and tempt the Hand;
With Life and Warmth invigorate her Charms,
And let me feel her struggling in my Arms;
Be now thy Power, great Heav'n, be now display'd,
And give her to my Wish a living Maid.
From one poor Rib the first fair Woman came,
If Miracles for ever do not cease,
O! work one now; inform this lifeless Piece;
Let not those sparkling Eyes, which charm my Sight,
Shine to charm only, void of real Light;
Nor let those Limbs, so lovely to behold,
Feel to the Touch all languid, stiff and cold;
Give her a Soul, and as her Lips I kiss,
Let them pout forth and soften with the Bliss;
And those fair, Virgin Globes, at thy Command,
Let them heave gently up and tempt the Hand;
With Life and Warmth invigorate her Charms,
And let me feel her struggling in my Arms;
Be now thy Power, great Heav'n, be now display'd,
And give her to my Wish a living Maid.
Heav'n saw the artless Tumult in his Breast,
Heard his ascending Prayer and made him blest;
Just as he wish'd, behold! it comes to pass,
The lifeless, Mute, is made a living Lass;
Her Limbs grow warm, her nimble Eye-balls roll,
And in her Bosom beats the human Soul;
Her soften'd Lips blush like the Morning Rose,
And her loos'd Tongue its proper Office knows;
On either Side her heaving Bosom charms,
And, streak'd with blue, she waves her Milk-white Arms;
She quickens all, and quicken'd she appears,
Just as she did in Wax; a Maid of fifteen Years.
Heard his ascending Prayer and made him blest;
Just as he wish'd, behold! it comes to pass,
The lifeless, Mute, is made a living Lass;
Her Limbs grow warm, her nimble Eye-balls roll,
And in her Bosom beats the human Soul;
38
And her loos'd Tongue its proper Office knows;
On either Side her heaving Bosom charms,
And, streak'd with blue, she waves her Milk-white Arms;
She quickens all, and quicken'd she appears,
Just as she did in Wax; a Maid of fifteen Years.
Thrice glorious Morn! distinguish'd may'st thou rise,
With double Lustre gild our Wintry Skies;
And Thou, for this great Work, amongst the Blest,
May'st thou, O! Salmon, may'st thou ever rest;
In Heav'n the happiest Mansion may'st thou find,
For leaving such an Angel-form behind.
With double Lustre gild our Wintry Skies;
And Thou, for this great Work, amongst the Blest,
May'st thou, O! Salmon, may'st thou ever rest;
In Heav'n the happiest Mansion may'st thou find,
For leaving such an Angel-form behind.
TO WAXY.
From humble Dust and common Earth
Whilst other Women take their Birth,
You, Waxy, boast a nobler Frame,
From more refin'd Beginnings came;
Hear, O! Thou Joy of every Heart,
What Thou hast been, and what Thou art.
Whilst other Women take their Birth,
You, Waxy, boast a nobler Frame,
From more refin'd Beginnings came;
39
What Thou hast been, and what Thou art.
First in gay Groves and blissful Bowers
Thy Charms were seen in opening Flowers,
Did in the Rose and Woodbine bloom,
And with their Sweets the Spring perfume;
Each fragrant Shrub, and every Tree
Once, Waxy, was a Part of Thee;
From whence the painful Insect drew
(As daily round the Fields he flew)
Of golden Wax the precious Store,
And to his Hive the Burthen bore.
Salmon did on the Bee refine,
And Heav'n compleated the Design,
Wak'd Thee to Life, divinely good,
In all the Charms of Flesh and Blood.
Thy Charms were seen in opening Flowers,
Did in the Rose and Woodbine bloom,
And with their Sweets the Spring perfume;
Each fragrant Shrub, and every Tree
Once, Waxy, was a Part of Thee;
From whence the painful Insect drew
(As daily round the Fields he flew)
Of golden Wax the precious Store,
And to his Hive the Burthen bore.
Salmon did on the Bee refine,
And Heav'n compleated the Design,
Wak'd Thee to Life, divinely good,
In all the Charms of Flesh and Blood.
In every Change, through which you past,
I trace you down from first to last;
Sweet as the Flowers, in which you bloom'd;
Gay as the Groves, which you perfum'd;
Brisk as the Bee, which robs the Spring,
And thy Wit pointed like its Sting;
Soft as the Wax in Salmon's Hand;
And just as Heav'n, by whose Command
Dwells in thy Breast a living Soul,
The Hearts of Millions you controul,
And wrought with more than female Grace,
Triumph ev'n o'er your own fair Race.
I trace you down from first to last;
Sweet as the Flowers, in which you bloom'd;
Gay as the Groves, which you perfum'd;
Brisk as the Bee, which robs the Spring,
And thy Wit pointed like its Sting;
40
And just as Heav'n, by whose Command
Dwells in thy Breast a living Soul,
The Hearts of Millions you controul,
And wrought with more than female Grace,
Triumph ev'n o'er your own fair Race.
But, oh! thus lovely as Thou art,
Thus form'd to melt the youthful Heart,
Scornful and cruel should'st Thou prove,
Deaf to the Vows and Prayers of Love,
Better that Wax Thou still had'st been,
At Salmon's for a Tester seen,
A shining, but a lifeless Mass,
By School-Boys gaz'd on through a Glass,
Than living make Mankind endure
Those Wounds you give, but will not cure.
Thus form'd to melt the youthful Heart,
Scornful and cruel should'st Thou prove,
Deaf to the Vows and Prayers of Love,
Better that Wax Thou still had'st been,
At Salmon's for a Tester seen,
A shining, but a lifeless Mass,
By School-Boys gaz'd on through a Glass,
Than living make Mankind endure
Those Wounds you give, but will not cure.
41
THE Norfolk LANTHORN. A New BALLAD.
I
In the County of Norfolk, that Paradise Land,Whose Riches and Power doth all Europe command,
There stands a great House (and long may it stand)
Which nobody can deny.
II
And in this great House there is a great Hall;So spacious it is and so sumptuous withal,
It excells Master Wolsey's Hampton-Court and Whitehall.
Which nobody can, &c.
42
III
To adorn this great Room, both by Day and by Night,And convince all the World that the Deeds of Sir Knight
Stand in need of no Darkness, there hangs a great Light.
Which nobody can, &c.
IV
A Lanthorn it is, for its Splendour renown'd,'Tis Eleven Feet high and full Twenty Feet round,
And cost, as they say, many a fair hundred Pound.
Which nobody can, &c.
V
The King, Sir, (God bless him) who lives in the Verge,Could hardly afford the exorbitant Charge
Of a Palace so fine, or a Lanthorn so large.
Which nobody can, &c.
VI
Now let us all pray (tho' its not much in Fashion)That this Lanthorn may spread such an Illumination,
As may glare in the Eyes of the whole British Nation.
Which nobody should deny.
43
THE PROGRESS OF PATRIOTISM. A TALE.
Vendidit Hic Auro Patriam.
Sir
Ralph, a simple, rural Knight,
Could just distinguish Wrong from Right;
When he receiv'd a Quarter's Rent,
And almost half in Taxes went,
He rail'd at Places, Bribes, and Pensions,
And secret Service, new Inventions;
Preach'd up the true, old English Spirit,
And mourn'd the great neglect of Merit;
Lamented our forlorn Condition,
And wish'd the Country would Petition;
Said, he would first subscribe his Name,
And added 'twas a burning Shame
That some Men large Estates should get,
And fatten on the Publick Debt;
Of his poor Country urg'd his Love,
And shook his Head at Those above.
Could just distinguish Wrong from Right;
When he receiv'd a Quarter's Rent,
And almost half in Taxes went,
He rail'd at Places, Bribes, and Pensions,
And secret Service, new Inventions;
Preach'd up the true, old English Spirit,
And mourn'd the great neglect of Merit;
Lamented our forlorn Condition,
And wish'd the Country would Petition;
44
And added 'twas a burning Shame
That some Men large Estates should get,
And fatten on the Publick Debt;
Of his poor Country urg'd his Love,
And shook his Head at Those above.
This Conduct in a private Station,
Procur'd the Knight great Reputation;
The Neighbours all approv'd his Zeal,
(Though few Men judge, yet all Men feel)
And with a general Voice declar'd
Money was scarce, the Times were hard,
That what Sir Ralph observ'd was true,
And wish'd the Gallows had its Due.
Procur'd the Knight great Reputation;
The Neighbours all approv'd his Zeal,
(Though few Men judge, yet all Men feel)
And with a general Voice declar'd
Money was scarce, the Times were hard,
That what Sir Ralph observ'd was true,
And wish'd the Gallows had its Due.
Thus bless'd in popular Affection,
Behold! there came on an Election,
And who more proper than Sir Ralph
To guard their Privileges safe?
So, in Return for Zeal and Beer,
They chose him for a Knight o'th' Shire.
Behold! there came on an Election,
And who more proper than Sir Ralph
To guard their Privileges safe?
So, in Return for Zeal and Beer,
They chose him for a Knight o'th' Shire.
But mark how Climates change the Mind,
And Virtue chops about like Wind!
Duely the Knight came up to Town,
Resolv'd to pull Corruption down,
Frequented Clubs of the same Party,
And in the Cause continued hearty,
Broach'd his Opinions, wet and dry,
And gave some honest Votes awry.
And Virtue chops about like Wind!
45
Resolv'd to pull Corruption down,
Frequented Clubs of the same Party,
And in the Cause continued hearty,
Broach'd his Opinions, wet and dry,
And gave some honest Votes awry.
At length, in that old, spacious Court,
Where Members just at Noon resort,
Up to our Knight Sir Bluestring came,
And call'd him frankly by his Name,
Smil'd on Him, shook him by the Hand,
And gave Him soon to understand,
That though his Person was a Stranger,
Yet that, in Times of greatest Danger,
His faithful Services were known,
And all his Family's here in Town,
For whom he had a great Affection;
And wish'd him Joy of his Election,
Assur'd him that his Country's Voice
Could not have made a better Choice.
Where Members just at Noon resort,
Up to our Knight Sir Bluestring came,
And call'd him frankly by his Name,
Smil'd on Him, shook him by the Hand,
And gave Him soon to understand,
That though his Person was a Stranger,
Yet that, in Times of greatest Danger,
His faithful Services were known,
And all his Family's here in Town,
For whom he had a great Affection;
And wish'd him Joy of his Election,
Assur'd him that his Country's Voice
Could not have made a better Choice.
Sir Ralph, who, if not much bely'd,
Had always some Degrees of Pride,
Perceiv'd his Heart begin to swell,
And lik'd this Doctrine mighty well,
Took Notice of his Air and Look,
And how familiarly he spoke;
Such Condescentions, such Professions
Remov'd all former ill Impressions.
Had always some Degrees of Pride,
46
And lik'd this Doctrine mighty well,
Took Notice of his Air and Look,
And how familiarly he spoke;
Such Condescentions, such Professions
Remov'd all former ill Impressions.
The Statesman (who, we must agree,
Can far into our Foibles see,
And knows exactly how to flatter
The weak, blind Sides of human Nature)
Saw the vain Wretch begin to yield,
And farther thus his Oil instill'd.
Can far into our Foibles see,
And knows exactly how to flatter
The weak, blind Sides of human Nature)
Saw the vain Wretch begin to yield,
And farther thus his Oil instill'd.
Sir Ralph, said he, all Forms apart,
So dear I hold you at my Heart,
Have such a Value for your Worth,
Your Sense and Honour and so forth,
That in some Points, extremely nice,
I should be proud of your Advice;
Let me, good Sir, the Favour pray
To eat a Bit with me to Day;
Nay, dear Sir Ralph, you must agree—
Your Honour's Hour?—exactly Three.
So dear I hold you at my Heart,
Have such a Value for your Worth,
Your Sense and Honour and so forth,
That in some Points, extremely nice,
I should be proud of your Advice;
Let me, good Sir, the Favour pray
To eat a Bit with me to Day;
Nay, dear Sir Ralph, you must agree—
Your Honour's Hour?—exactly Three.
47
These Points premis'd, they bow and part,
With Hands press'd hard to either Heart;
For now the publick Business calls
Each Patriot to St. Stephen's Walls;
Whether the present Debts to State;
Or on some new Supplies debate,
Would here be needless to relate.
With Hands press'd hard to either Heart;
For now the publick Business calls
Each Patriot to St. Stephen's Walls;
Whether the present Debts to State;
Or on some new Supplies debate,
Would here be needless to relate.
From thence, at the appointed Hour,
Sir Ralph attends the Man of Power,
Who, better to secure his Ends,
Had likewise bid some courtly Friends,
His Brother Townly and his Grace,
Great Statesmen both and both in Place;
Our British Horace, fam'd for Wit,
Alike for Courts and Senates fit;
Sir William, from his early Youth,
Renown'd for Honour, Virtue, Truth;
And Bubble, just restor'd to Favour,
On pardon ask'd for late Behaviour.
Sir Ralph attends the Man of Power,
Who, better to secure his Ends,
Had likewise bid some courtly Friends,
His Brother Townly and his Grace,
Great Statesmen both and both in Place;
Our British Horace, fam'd for Wit,
Alike for Courts and Senates fit;
Sir William, from his early Youth,
Renown'd for Honour, Virtue, Truth;
And Bubble, just restor'd to Favour,
On pardon ask'd for late Behaviour.
The Statesman met his Convert-Guest,
Saluted, clasp'd Him to his Breast,
Then introduc'd Him to the rest.
Saluted, clasp'd Him to his Breast,
Then introduc'd Him to the rest.
48
Whilst He, with Wonder and Amaze,
The Splendour of the House surveys,
Huge China Jars and Piles of Plate,
And modish Screens and Beds of State,
Gilt Sconces of stupendous Size,
And costly Paintings strike his Eyes,
From Italy and Flanders brought,
At the Expence of Nations bought;
Yet doth not one of these relate
The tragick End of Rogues of State;
Although such Pictures might supply
Fit Lessons to the Great Man's Eye;
But o'er-grown Favourites dread to think,
From whence they rose, and how may sink.
The Splendour of the House surveys,
Huge China Jars and Piles of Plate,
And modish Screens and Beds of State,
Gilt Sconces of stupendous Size,
And costly Paintings strike his Eyes,
From Italy and Flanders brought,
At the Expence of Nations bought;
Yet doth not one of these relate
The tragick End of Rogues of State;
Although such Pictures might supply
Fit Lessons to the Great Man's Eye;
But o'er-grown Favourites dread to think,
From whence they rose, and how may sink.
Dinner now waited on the Board,
Rich as this City would afford;
For every Element supplies
His Table with its Rarities.
The Guests promiscous take their Place,
Pro More, without Form or Grace;
There might the little Knight be seen,
With Ribons blue and Ribons green,
All complaisant and debonair,
As if the King Himself were there;
Obsequious each consults his Taste,
And, begging to be serv'd the last,
Points round by turns to every Dish;
Will you have Soop, Sir Ralph, or Fish?
This Fricasee or that Ragoust?
Pray, Sir, be free and let me know.
Rich as this City would afford;
For every Element supplies
His Table with its Rarities.
The Guests promiscous take their Place,
Pro More, without Form or Grace;
There might the little Knight be seen,
With Ribons blue and Ribons green,
49
As if the King Himself were there;
Obsequious each consults his Taste,
And, begging to be serv'd the last,
Points round by turns to every Dish;
Will you have Soop, Sir Ralph, or Fish?
This Fricasee or that Ragoust?
Pray, Sir, be free and let me know.
The Cloth remov'd, the Glass goes round,
With loyal Healths and Wishes crown'd;
May King and Senate long agree!
Success attend the Ministry!
Let publick Faith and Stocks increase!
Add grant us Heav'n! a speedy Peace!
With loyal Healths and Wishes crown'd;
May King and Senate long agree!
Success attend the Ministry!
Let publick Faith and Stocks increase!
Add grant us Heav'n! a speedy Peace!
Discourse ensues on homebred Rage,
That rank Distemper of the Age,
And instantly they all agree,
They never were so blest, or free;
That all Complaints were nought but Faction,
And Patriotism meer Distraction,
Though full of Reason, void of Grace,
And only meant to get in Place.
That rank Distemper of the Age,
And instantly they all agree,
They never were so blest, or free;
That all Complaints were nought but Faction,
And Patriotism meer Distraction,
Though full of Reason, void of Grace,
And only meant to get in Place.
50
Sir Ralph in Approbation bow'd;
Yet own'd that, with the giddy Croud,
He formerly had gone astray,
And talk'd in quite another Way,
Possess'd with Jealousies and Fears,
Dispers'd by restless Pamphleteers,
In Libels weekly and diurnal,
Especially the Country Journal;
But as he felt sincere Contrition,
He hop'd his Faults would find Remission
Yet own'd that, with the giddy Croud,
He formerly had gone astray,
And talk'd in quite another Way,
Possess'd with Jealousies and Fears,
Dispers'd by restless Pamphleteers,
In Libels weekly and diurnal,
Especially the Country Journal;
But as he felt sincere Contrition,
He hop'd his Faults would find Remission
Dear Sir, reply'd the Blue-string Knight,
I'm glad you think Affairs go right;
All Errors past must be excus'd,
(Since the best Men may be abus'd)
What's in my Power you may command,
Then once more shook Him by the Hand,
Gave him great Hopes (at least his Word)
That He should be a Treasury-Lord,
And to confirm his good Intention,
At present order'd him a Pension.
I'm glad you think Affairs go right;
All Errors past must be excus'd,
(Since the best Men may be abus'd)
What's in my Power you may command,
Then once more shook Him by the Hand,
Gave him great Hopes (at least his Word)
That He should be a Treasury-Lord,
And to confirm his good Intention,
At present order'd him a Pension.
By these Degrees, Sir Ralph is grown
The stanchest Tool in all the Town,
At Points and Job-work never fails;
At all his old Acquaintance rails;
Holds every Doctrine now in Fashion;
That Debts are Blessings to a Nation;
That Bribery, under Whig-Direction,
Is needful to discourage Faction;
That standing Armies are most fitting
To guard the Liberties of Britain;
That France is her sincerest Friend,
On whom, she always should depend;
That Ministers by Kings appointed,
Are, under them, the Lord's anointed;
Ergo, it is the self-same Thing,
T' oppose the Minister or King;
Ergo, by Consequence of Reason,
To censure Statesmen is High Treason.
The stanchest Tool in all the Town,
51
At all his old Acquaintance rails;
Holds every Doctrine now in Fashion;
That Debts are Blessings to a Nation;
That Bribery, under Whig-Direction,
Is needful to discourage Faction;
That standing Armies are most fitting
To guard the Liberties of Britain;
That France is her sincerest Friend,
On whom, she always should depend;
That Ministers by Kings appointed,
Are, under them, the Lord's anointed;
Ergo, it is the self-same Thing,
T' oppose the Minister or King;
Ergo, by Consequence of Reason,
To censure Statesmen is High Treason.
In fine, his standing Creed is this;
That right or wrong, or hit or miss,
No Evils can befal a Nation,
Under so wise a Ministration;
That Britain is Sir Blue-string's Debtor,
And Things did surely ne'er go better!
That right or wrong, or hit or miss,
No Evils can befal a Nation,
Under so wise a Ministration;
That Britain is Sir Blue-string's Debtor,
And Things did surely ne'er go better!
52
So the plain Country Girl, untainted,
Nor yet with wicked Man acquainted,
Starts at the first leud Application,
Though warm perhaps by Inclination,
And swears she would not, with the King,
For all the World do such a Thing;
But when with long, assiduous Art,
Damon hath once seduc'd her Heart,
She learns her Lesson in a trice,
And justifies the pleasing Vice,
Calls it a natural, harmless Passion,
Implanted from our first Creation,
Holds there's no Sin between clean Sheets,
And lies with every Man she meets.
Nor yet with wicked Man acquainted,
Starts at the first leud Application,
Though warm perhaps by Inclination,
And swears she would not, with the King,
For all the World do such a Thing;
But when with long, assiduous Art,
Damon hath once seduc'd her Heart,
She learns her Lesson in a trice,
And justifies the pleasing Vice,
Calls it a natural, harmless Passion,
Implanted from our first Creation,
Holds there's no Sin between clean Sheets,
And lies with every Man she meets.
53
A SEQUEL TO THE FABLE OF THE Oak and the Dunghill.
In IMITATION of Sternhold and Hopkins.
I
At length this Oak, all canker'd round,And rotten to the Heart,
Became the Nuisance of the Ground,
And play'd the Tyrant's Part.
II
His monstrous Bulk the Moisture drain'dFrom every Plant below;
The Vegetables all complain'd
Except the Misletoe.
54
III
A Field of Hemp, in this Distress,For Vengeance loudly cry'd;
(Blest Plant! whose Virtues could redress
Our Woes, if well apply'd.)
IV
Hemp ope'd his awful Mouth and spokeTo the oppressive Tree;
“Thou arrogant, aspiring Oak,
“No bigger once than me,
V
“Though pamper'd, by thy Master's Care,“To feed his numerous Swine,
“Dar'st Thou with that fam'd Oak compare,
“Which sav'd the Royal Line?
VI
“'Tis true, indeed, you both inclose“A King for different Ends;
“He screen'd a Monarch from his Foes
“You guard him from his Friends.
55
VII
“Acorns, I grant, Thou once did'st bear,“But now grown fruitless quite,
“Chaplets become thy only Care,
“And Ribons thy Delight.
VIII
“Thy clumsy Trunk and awkard Air,“With Garlands thus attir'd,
“Looks like a May-Pole in a Fair,
“By Sots and Fools admir'd.
IX
“With the Dodonian Oak you vie,“From him derive your Line.
“His Oracles prov'd all a Lye,
“And so I fear will Thine.
X
“But whether to those antient Plains“Thou truely art a-kin,
“Or, as the Neighbourhood maintains,
“To modern Oaks of Lynn.
56
XI
“Give Ear, and I thy Doom will shew;“E'er many Months are past,
“Stript of thy Gew-gaws, Red and Blue,
“A Rope shall bind thee fast.
XII
“For know, our most indulgent Lord“The general Wish shall crown,
“And every Plant, with one Accord,
“Will join to pull thee down.
XIII
“Oft I've been told, on this fair Ground,“That many a Traytor-Tree
“Hath been in Hempen Durance bound,
“Though stout and proud as Thee.
XIV
“Let Pagan Gods and Priests, a Score,“To ward thy Fate combine;
“Though rescued from the Light'ning's Powe'r,
“Thou shalt submit to mine.
57
An Excellent NEW BALLAD, CALLED, A Bob for the C***t.
I
Ye Poets, take Heed how you trust to the Muse, fa, la.What Words to make Choice of, and what to refuse, fa, la.
If she hint at a Vice of political Sort, fa, la.
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t, fa, la
II
Corruption, Ambition, Pomp, Vanity, Pride fa, la.Are Terms, that by Guess-work are often apply'd; fa, la.
58
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t. fa, la.
III
If Congress is nam'd, you must mean it a Slap; fa, la.The City of Soissons blot out of your Map; fa, la.
Ostend is a Word of such doubtful Import, fa, la.
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t, fa, la.
IV
If Truce or Galleon in your Writing appears, fa, la.The Word Cardinal mars our foreign Affairs; fa, la.
Gibraltar avoid; if you mention that Port, fa, la.
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t, fa, la.
V
Secret Service you never should venture to write, fa, la.Twill be said you would bring some dark Matters to light, fa, la.
If you speak of our Trade, or ask what we Export, fa, la.
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t, fa, la.
59
VI
If Macheath you should name, in the Midst of his Gang, fa, la.They'll say 'tis an Hint you would Somebody hang; fa, la.
For Macheath is a Word of such evil Report, fa, la.
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t. fa, la.
VII
The Word Pension you never should dare to repeat; fa, la.Shall bold, paltry Scribblers reflect on the Great? fa, la.
As Pensions and Bribes swell the Levee's Resort, fa, la.
Application cries out, That's a Bob for the C---t. fa, la.
VIII
If Armies or Debts should escape from your Pen, fa, la.You may chance to offend several thousands of Men; fa, la.
For as Taxes are needful standing Troops to support, fa, la.
Application will cry, That's a Bob for the C---t. fa, la.
60
IX
Now God bless King George; all his Enemies rout, fa, la.All Those that are in, and all Those that are out. fa, la.
May true, honest Hearts be his Bulwark and Fort, fa, la.
And so there's an End of a Bob for the C---t. fa, la.
Truth and Falshood. A FABLE.
Once on a Time, in Sunshine Weather,
Falshood and Truth walk'd out together,
The neighbouring Woods and Lawns to view,
As Opposites will sometimes do.
Through many a blooming Mead They pass'd,
And at a Brook arriv'd at last.
The purling Stream, the Margin green,
With Flowers bedeck'd (a vernal Scene)
Invited each itinerant Maid
To rest a while beneath the Shade;
Under a spreading Beach they sate,
And pass'd the Time with Female Chat;
Whilst each her Character maintain'd;
One spoke her Thoughts; the other feign'd.
Falshood and Truth walk'd out together,
The neighbouring Woods and Lawns to view,
As Opposites will sometimes do.
Through many a blooming Mead They pass'd,
And at a Brook arriv'd at last.
The purling Stream, the Margin green,
With Flowers bedeck'd (a vernal Scene)
61
To rest a while beneath the Shade;
Under a spreading Beach they sate,
And pass'd the Time with Female Chat;
Whilst each her Character maintain'd;
One spoke her Thoughts; the other feign'd.
At length quoth Falshood, Sister Truth,
(For so she call'd her from her Youth)
What, if to shun yon sultry Beam,
We bathe in this delightful Stream;
The Bottom smooth, the Water clear,
And there's no prying Shepherd near?—
With all my Heart the Nymph reply'd,
And threw her snowy Robes aside,
Stript herself naked to the Skin,
And with a Spring leapt headlong in.
Falshood more leisurely undress'd,
And laying by her tawdry Vest,
Trick'd herself out in Truth's Array,
And cross the Meadows tript away.
(For so she call'd her from her Youth)
What, if to shun yon sultry Beam,
We bathe in this delightful Stream;
The Bottom smooth, the Water clear,
And there's no prying Shepherd near?—
With all my Heart the Nymph reply'd,
And threw her snowy Robes aside,
Stript herself naked to the Skin,
And with a Spring leapt headlong in.
Falshood more leisurely undress'd,
And laying by her tawdry Vest,
Trick'd herself out in Truth's Array,
And cross the Meadows tript away.
From this curst Hour, the fraudful Dame
Of sacred Truth usurps the Name,
And with a vile, perfidious Mind,
Roams far and near to cheat Mankind;
False Sighs suborns, and artful Tears,
And starts with vain, pretended Fears;
At Court, appears extreamly wise,
And rolls, at Church, her Saint-like Eyes.
Talks, in the City, much of Trade,
And Seizures on the Spaniards made;
Sometimes in pompous, Fustian Rhimes,
Extolls our blest Saturnian Times,
Our Wealth and Power o'er Europe's Fate,
And Wisdom in Affairs of State;
Or when the Nation quite on Fire is,
Writes Observations and Enquiries:
But most affects, in P---
To state Accounts and represent;
To prove that Two and Two make Seven,
That White is Black, and Odds are Even;
Pleads, as Time serves, for Peace or War,
And makes a Jest of Gibraltar,
Speaks pro and con, like honest Y---
And always sticks to what is wrong.
Of sacred Truth usurps the Name,
62
Roams far and near to cheat Mankind;
False Sighs suborns, and artful Tears,
And starts with vain, pretended Fears;
At Court, appears extreamly wise,
And rolls, at Church, her Saint-like Eyes.
Talks, in the City, much of Trade,
And Seizures on the Spaniards made;
Sometimes in pompous, Fustian Rhimes,
Extolls our blest Saturnian Times,
Our Wealth and Power o'er Europe's Fate,
And Wisdom in Affairs of State;
Or when the Nation quite on Fire is,
Writes Observations and Enquiries:
But most affects, in P---
To state Accounts and represent;
To prove that Two and Two make Seven,
That White is Black, and Odds are Even;
Pleads, as Time serves, for Peace or War,
And makes a Jest of Gibraltar,
Speaks pro and con, like honest Y---
And always sticks to what is wrong.
63
Mean while poor Truth, in this Distress,
Robb'd of her old, engaging Dress,
Became, unhappy Maid! the Sport
Of Country, City, Camp and Court;
And, scorning from her Cause to wince,
Hath gone stark naked ever since.
Robb'd of her old, engaging Dress,
Became, unhappy Maid! the Sport
Of Country, City, Camp and Court;
And, scorning from her Cause to wince,
Hath gone stark naked ever since.
A PANEGYRICK ON Cardinal W---
Hail! Minister, by Paradoxes great!
Proceeds it from thy Genius or thy Fate?
Courtier compleat, with Manners unpolite;
Without thy Prince's Love, a Favourite;
Not eloquent, though voluble of Tongue,
And thy first Honours from Corruption sprung;
From Ruin and Distress advanc'd to Power;
From Goal to Court, the Creature of an Hour;
Hated by Each, and yet upheld by All;
Hooted in Streets, applauded in the Hall;
By giving, Rich; still able to supply
Fresh Credit to each Want and every Lye;
French Treaties, padlock'd Swords and tame Campaigns,
(Thy Measures now) were Crimes in former Reigns;
What then was constrn'd Treason by our Laws,
Is now thy Glory, and demands Applause;
If Thou art easy, who dares feel his Pain?
'Tis bold to sigh; Rebellion to complain—
Ev'n Publick Debts transform themselves to Gain.
Proceeds it from thy Genius or thy Fate?
Courtier compleat, with Manners unpolite;
Without thy Prince's Love, a Favourite;
Not eloquent, though voluble of Tongue,
And thy first Honours from Corruption sprung;
64
From Goal to Court, the Creature of an Hour;
Hated by Each, and yet upheld by All;
Hooted in Streets, applauded in the Hall;
By giving, Rich; still able to supply
Fresh Credit to each Want and every Lye;
French Treaties, padlock'd Swords and tame Campaigns,
(Thy Measures now) were Crimes in former Reigns;
What then was constrn'd Treason by our Laws,
Is now thy Glory, and demands Applause;
If Thou art easy, who dares feel his Pain?
'Tis bold to sigh; Rebellion to complain—
Ev'n Publick Debts transform themselves to Gain.
The Change that seem'd to force Thee from the Stage,
To sue for Shelter from the People's Rage,
Pye-ball'd with Dirt and Glory, brought Thee on,
And turn'd thy Sanctuary to a Throne.
To sue for Shelter from the People's Rage,
Pye-ball'd with Dirt and Glory, brought Thee on,
And turn'd thy Sanctuary to a Throne.
Say mighty W---, are we to adore
Thy Stars or Genius, never match'd before?
Thy Stars or Genius, never match'd before?
65
TO A Certain GENTLEMAN Who always takes the Name of Cardinal WOLSEY To HIMSELF.
AN EPIGRAM.
How vain, Sir Knight, is thy affected Rage,That Thou and Wolsey in the self-same Page
Stand charg'd alike?—The Cardinal, 'tis true,
Had many publick Vices; so hast Thou.
66
Which, thy Friends own, are wanting all in Thee;
Tho' proud, corrupt, ambitious, and severe,
Still to the Muse He lent a gracious Ear;
Learned Himself to Learning was a Friend;
Himself, adorn'd with Arts, did Arts extend;
Whilst all thy Knowledge is confin'd to Gain,
To Funds, and Stocks, and Bribes, thy Country's Bane;
His publick Spirit lives in Christ-Church Dome;
Thy Charity Begins, and Ends at Home.
AN EPIGRAM.
[Of the Remoræ lately much hath been said]
Of the Remoræ lately much hath been said,And how they retard our Fleet at Spithead;
But, if I mistake not, it is not confin'd
By the Strength of those Fish, but a Cardinal Wind.
67
THE HONEST JURY, OR, CALEB Triumphant.
I
Rejoice, ye good Writers; your Pens are set free;Your Thoughts and the Press are at full Liberty;
For your King and your Country you safely may write;
You may say Black is Black, and prove White is White.
68
Be concern'd for their Ears;
For every Man now shall be try'd by his Peers.
Twelve good honest Men shall decide in each Cause,
And be Judges of Fact, tho' not Judges of Laws.
II
'Tis said Master Caleb a Paper did print,Which sometimes at some Folks look'd slily asquint;
He weekly held forth of no Peace and no War,
So was forced from his Trade, to appear at the Bar.
Thus for talking too free,
Master Attor—ney
Strain'd his Lungs for to set him in the Pillory.
But Pillories now shall be raised for the Shame
Of some Rogues, whom yet 'tis not proper to name.
III
You may call the Man Fool, who in Treaties does blunder,And stile Him a Knave, who his Country doth plunder;
If the Peace be not good, it can ne'er be a Crime
To wish it were better, in Prose or in Rhyme;
69
That Innuen—does
Will serve him no longer in Verse or in Prose;
Since Twelve honest Men have decided the Cause,
And were Judges of Fact, tho' not Judges of Laws.
IV
Twelve Judges there are, and twice twelve Aldermen,Many Lords, many Members, and Bishops—What then?
Although you should travel all England around,
Amongst them twelve honester cannot be found,
Than this same Ju—ry
Which set Caleb free,
And brought in their Verdict, He was not Guil—ty.
Then let these honest Men, who do pay Scot and Lot,
While Ballads are Ballads, be never forgot.
V
This Jury, so trusty and Proof against Rhino,I am apt to believe to be Jury Divino;
70
Men the honester are, as the lower you go.
So a Fish, when 'tis dead,
I have often heard said,
May be sweet at the Tail, though it stinks at the Head.
Oh! may Honesty rise and confound the base Tribe,
Who will be corrupted by Pension or Bribe!
VI
A Jury there was, when the Pope was in Power,That brought out seven Bishops alive from the Tower;
They saved our Religion from Jacobite Fury;
Both That and King George then we owe to a Jury;
So Those that brought out
The Bishops—no doubt,
Brought in our King George, who's so gallant and stout;
Then sure 'tis the Interest of Country and King,
That Juries should never be led in a String.
71
VII
Thus far honest Duncan hath prophesied right,And prov'd himself bless'd with the true Second-Sight,
Who though deaf and dumb, in Astrology famous
As Partridge, poor Robin, or old Nostradamus,
Did lately divine
That Caleb should shine
And prevail o'er his Foes in the Year Twenty-nine;
For twelve honest Men have determin'd his Cause,
And rescu'd from Quibbles our old English Laws.
VIII
But one Thing remains, his Predictions to crown,And that is to see the Leviathan down;
Nor let us despair; for the Year is not out,
And a Month or two more may bring it about;
Then in Chorus let's sing,
And say God bless the King,
And grant that all Those, who deserve it, may swing.
If twelve honest Men were to judge in this Cause,
One good Verdict more might secure all our Laws.
72
To Caleb D'Anvers, Esq;
ON THE TREATY Lately Concluded at SEVILLE.
Thou perverse, adverse, Caleb D' Anvers,Were I a Poet, to command Verse,
With Satire, would I so ha-rass you,
That you should hang your self, you Ass you;
Pen ne'er should stop, nor Tongue e'er faulter,
'Till I had brought thee to a Halter,
And got thy Head fix'd on a tall Pole,
For what you've wrote, 'gainst Mr. W---;
W--- so famous in all Nations,
For steady, wise Negotiations;
73
Call'd de la grand Bretagne Viceroy, Sir;
By Hollanders, and many more Folk,
Call'd Hogan Mogan Heer van Norfolk;
Swedes raise him up to God knows what, Sir;
Danes term him Groota Potentate, Sir,
And to be plain, all Europe over
He's known as well, as in H*v*r;
Yet t'other Day, you had the Face, Sir,
Plainly to call him Robin Brass, Sir.
Will you ne'er leave your usual Tricks, Sir,
Of kicking 'gainst sharp-pointed Pricks, Sir?
As you stood up for Gibraltar, Sir,
And rail'd against our peaceful War, Sir,
Will you go on and never cease, Sir,
But dare to blame our warlike Peace, Sir,
Must I at length be forc'd to go, Sir,
To see you as I did Defoe, Sir,
Or Mist, that Brother of Perdition,
In Pillory for base Sedition?
No, Pillory's too good for Fellows
Who 'stead of Pensions chuse the Gallows.
74
Than all thy Tribe I like Thee better;
And if you'll but take my Advice, Sir,
I'll do your Business in a Trice, Sir,
In any Thing you may command me,
With W--- I'm as great as can be.
As t'other Day we play'd at Drafts, Man,
He bid Horatio read your Craftsman;
And smiling said, it was a Pity
The Man was blind and yet so witty;
Therefore, I'll tell you, what I want, Sir,
Is straightway that you wou'd recant, Sir,
And that you'd turn your Wit and Satire
To other Subjects, other Matter;
Cry W--- up in Verse and Prose, Sir,
Flatter his Friends, revile his Foes, Sir,
Extol his Peace, and Observations
On his own great Administrations,
Turn Coat, Pen, Tongue; in short be wise, Sir,
Praise Gothick Schemes and French Allies, Sir,
And write (what yet was ne'er done) Answers
To your own Works, sign'd Caleb D' Anvers.
75
LATIN VERSES inscribed to the Glory of a certain great Man, at the Bottom of an emblematical Device.
Attempted in English.
Let Bards with Honour old Alcides dub,
Who slew the Hydra with his Sword or—Club.
Our English Hercules is greater far;
Whose Toils for Peace exceed his Toils in War.
He slew one Hydra; ours hath many slain;
Preferring publick Good to private Gain.
Let Envy gnash her Teeth; let Craftsmen rail;
Whilst Pallas is his Guide, He cannot fail.
Who slew the Hydra with his Sword or—Club.
Our English Hercules is greater far;
Whose Toils for Peace exceed his Toils in War.
He slew one Hydra; ours hath many slain;
Preferring publick Good to private Gain.
Let Envy gnash her Teeth; let Craftsmen rail;
Whilst Pallas is his Guide, He cannot fail.
76
How great, O England, may thy Greatness be,
Whilst He's thy Wall by Land, thy Pole by Sea?
Whilst He's thy Wall by Land, thy Pole by Sea?
FINIS.
| A collection of poems on Several Occasions | |