University of Virginia Library

Fortune fauours Fooles.

A Skippe-iacke.

Here comes a fellow of a light vocation,
(Perhaps an vsher of a dauncing schoole:)
Who was maintaind by some of occupation,
Doth now maintaine a lackie, and a foole.
Fortune affects his art, and loues him too,
For what I pray? that which a Horse can doe.

A Fidler.

Another there in forme as light as he,
Who liu'd by aires (though not Camelion like:)
Doth now contemne his primitiue degree,
And scornes his finger should a vyoll strike.
Fortune be thanked (and his chaunting tongue)
That gaue him liuing onely for a song.

In Flaccium.

A tryed Friend.

Flaccus is dry, and doth request his friend
To satisfie his thirsty appetite:
His Friend hath now great businesse to attend,
And sweares he cannot tarry by that light.
Flaccus is druncke, and meets his friend againe,
And now forsooth his friend bestowes the wine:
Flaccus receaues it and his sences bane,
Shewes apish trickes, then imitates the swine:
O you forget your selfe, true sir I doe,
I knew my self vntill disguisde by you:
Ilou'd you once, hereafter ile despise ye,
Because youle glut me, rather than suffice me.

Better late then neuer.

Briscus will turne good husband, marry fye,
What wench is't tushloose bodied Margerie:
Good husband now, that nere was good in's life,
The better husband sir, the worser wife.

In Spumosum.

A fine tongued Suter.

Spumosus courts his wench, & thus doth prate,
Adorned, pollisht, and immaculate:
Repugne me not, but let thy lenity,
Extend to me as to propinquity.
Sweet, be propitious, not inexorable,
Thy Amorosus is inviolable:
And will perseuer with iucunditie,
Till I descend my hopes profunditie.
Sir, quoth his wench, beleeue me if you can,
Ile marry none except an Englishman:
If you are, as you seeme not by your speaches,
Reserue your Fustian for to patch your breeches.

Tom tell troth.

My loue sayth Tristram is as constant sure,
As is the Moone, Diana, chast and pure:
Credit his words, assured true they be,
The Moone doth change each month, and so doth shee.

In Fatuum.

A foole for companie.

Fatuus will drincke with no such asse,
That lets his iests (vnapprehended) passe:
Or if he iest with such of shallow braine,
He laughs himselfe to make his iest more plaine.
Thus Fatuus doth iest and play the sany
To laugh at's selfe, hees foole if there be any.

[Doleus shewes his purse and tells you this]

Doleus shewes his purse and tells you this,
It is more horride than a pest-house is:
For in a pest-house many mortalls enter,
But in his purse an angell dares not venter.
So to declare th'infection for his sin,
A crosse is set without, there's none within.

In Fabulosum.

My word (sweares Fabulus) can now be tane
For all the sutes that are in Birchin lane.
Yet not withstanding he doth scorne to weare,
The quaintest sute of Sattin that is there.
Lilkewise he can without or bond or bill,
Take vp of any Scriuener what he will:
Yet doth he scorne to be oblig'd to such,
Whose imperfections any penne can tutch.
As for his dyet, Vintners doe request
He would vouchsafe to be their dayly guest:
And swears he may cōmand more wine a'the score,
Then will make drunke 3 thousand men & more.
Yet doth he scorne now by faire Phebus shine,
To be indebted for a cuppe of wine:
But Fabulus you lye, else why goest bare,
Why pennilesse, why do'st thou hardly fare
If such would trust thee? trust thee, no not these,
For clout, for crosse, for penny worth of cheese.

In Furiosum.

Pray you giue place to Furiosus there,
Whose irefull looks presage that he will sweare,
What's he that dares deny to pledge his health,
Or he that will not lend him halfe his wealth:
Let him but see that man will say his spright
Shall equall his, heele kill him by that light:
But where are these huge words & blowes so darted?
Faith in a Tauerne where he may be parted.

A second Diogenes.

Because Diogenes on rootes did feed,
Philosophaster turnes Diogenes:
Obserues his dyet, and doth still proceed
To imitate that Cynicks bitternes.
Cals each man knaue he meets, but be it knowne,
That title he doth giue them, is his owne.
Why doth he feed on rootes continually?
Faith will you know, it is the cheapest dyet:
Why doth he taxe mans vice so bitterly?
Because the world should iudge he doth defye it.
Well this Philosopher deserues reward,
Let him be iudg'd by Iohn in Paules churchyard.

A warme argument.

Loue is a fire, so some Poets rumor,
And women are the chimneys where it flameth:
If so it be, I care not for loues humor,
Nor will I harbor there where Venus gameth.
And women (meaning none but you so hot)
Your chimney corners shall be quight forgot.

In Credulum.

Ile not belieue that fellow that will sweare
He led an eager Lyon by the eare.
Nor he that will affirme and rashly prate,
He bodly pist at Pontius Pylates gate:
But him I credit that will iustly say,
He did (at midnight) by the sunshine play.

In Virosum.

How Falstafe like, doth sweld Virosus looke,
As though his paunch did foster euery sinne:
And sweares he is iniured by this booke,
His worth is taxt he hath abused byn:
Swell still Virosus, burst with emulation,
I neither taxe thy vice nor reputation.

The Conclusion.

Packe hence ye idle zanies of this age,
Illitterate fooles, fit subiects for each stage:
And do not murmur though your coats are course,
They are too good for fooles if they were worse.