University of Virginia Library

EPIGRAMMATVM Centuria prima.

EPIGRAM. I. De subiecto operis.

If that the subiect do the worke commend,
Thē what more worthy work, then I intend?
For Lords, nay more (let me not be mistook)
Kings thēselues are the subiects of my book.

Epigram. II. In librum suum.

My booke it must please all, or some, or none;
And one of these three must it needs embrace.
It cannot possibly please eueryone,
And for to please none, thats a maine disgrace.
Yet for my will, what ere of it become,
I rather would, it should please none, then some.

Epigram. III. Homo, Arbor.

Looke how a tree doth spring out of the earth,
So we discend from thence by lineall birth.
Looke how a tree shootes vp, and blossomes faire:
So we, till age or greefe our strength impaire.
Looke how a dried tree does fade away;
So we when moysture failes, gin to decay.
Looke how it fals at length without redresse:
So shall we die at last remedilesse.
Looke where it fals, the same way doth it lie:
So shall we iudged be, as we doe die.

Epigram. IIII. In solem occidentem.

Oft did I wonder why the setting Sunne
Should looke vpon vs with a blushing face:
Ist not for shame of what he hath seene done,
Whilest in our hemisphære he ran his race?

Epigram. V. Oculi emissitij.

It is much question'd in Philosophy.
Whether the sight that's resiant in the eye,
Be first by sending out those radiant streames,
Or els by taking in reflexed beames.
Might I with my poore skill resolue this doubt.
I should determine 'twere by sending out.
So nimbly doe we others faults discrie,
So blinde we are when we looke inwardly.

Epigram. VI. Functi, defuncti.

I waile not those,
Who take their sweete repose;
Within the bowels of our common mother:
Those grieue me most,
Who liuing still are tost
From bad to worse, from one Fate to another.

Epigram. VII. Ad Sereniss. Regem Iacobum, de ementitâ ipsius morte.

Great King, when of thy death we vnderstood,
Although the newes were bad, the lie was good.

Epigram. VIII. In proditores puluerarios.

Saint Ambrose in the Churches purer age,
When that, more Tyrant-like then like a King,
His Sou'raigne did against the Christians rage,
Yet did not therefore seeke his ruining.
But prai'd, whilst watry teares bedeaw'd his eyes:
These were his weapons, his conspiracies.
But now a daies, do the King but desire,
And seeke the best he can to liue secure,
What are your weapons? curses mixt with fire,
Seeking by all the meanes ye could procure,
Thousands of life at once to haue bereauen,
And sent them with a powder vp to heauen.

Epigram. IX. In horrendum parricidium Henrici quarti nuper Galliæ & Nauarrȩ regis.

God saith of Kings thus by a Kingly pen,
That they are gods, but yet shall die like men.
Shall die, but not be forc'd for to be dead:
Like men, but not like beasts, be butchered.

Epigram. X. Ad illustrissimum. Walliæ Principem Henricum.

Eight Worthies of your name haue gone before:
The ninth place keepes it selfe for you in store.

Epigram. XI.

Two Louers true at once did part this life,
A faithfull husband with his louely wife:
Of which though death were cruell to take either,
Yet dealt it kindly to take both together.

Epigram. XII. In Stentorem.

Something there is that Stentor hath to say,
Though all he has to say is nought at all:
If you neglect his speech, then will he bray,
Iading your eares with an outragious brall,
Neuer till now was such a monster bred,
Whose sides were brasse, his pate being all of Lead.

Epigram. XIII. In Scyllam.

Tell Scylla of his going to the stewes,
This is the short reply that he doth vse:
I'le make it good, if you but dare gaine-say:
He throwes his pledge downe, and appoints a day,
In which he fearelesse meanes couragiously
With's Rapiers point his words to iustifie.
And thinks he then (poore foole) the bloud we bleed
Can expiate and cleanse so foule a deed?
To make a sinne committed to be good,
Ask's rinsing in another kinde of blood.

Epigram. XIIII. In Capitonem.

See'st thou you masse of flesh, you lumpish Nody,
Whose soule's not able to informe his body!
So it might be contriu'd without his paine,
Halfe of that scull would better fit his braine.

Epigram. XV. In Paulum quintum Pontificem Rom. quod ad piscaturam attinet, Petriverè Successorem.

Peter by fishing got what he could get:
And all is fish with Paul, that comes to net.

Epigram. XVI. Stultorum plena sunt omnia.

Some men compare, and that not much amisse
This lower world, whereon our beeing is,
Vnto a Theater: the Gods stand by,
Behold: we act our parts, depart, and die.
Yet to my seeming in this said compare
As some things iumpe, so some things diff'ring are.
There each man is assign'd a seuerall part,
For to bestirre his stumps, and shew his Art.
One he acts Menedemus raging mad:
Another acts his friend: a third is glad
To entertaine the Cockscombes part, thereby
To make the simpler sort laugh out of crie.
Of this last kinde in some playes there are none;
And where there is the most, there is but one.
But here farre otherwise in our societie,
We act the same part all: there's no varietie.
On this vast stage the world, dame Natures schoole,
There's not a man of vs, but playes the foole.
They for a time, in iest, display their madnesse
We still, in serious sooth, in sober sadnesse.

Epigram. XVII.

[I tooke the wall, one thrust me rudely by]

I tooke the wall, one thrust me rudely by;
And told me the high-way did open lie:
I thankt him that he did me so much grace,
To take the worse, leaue me the better place.
For if by th'owners we esteeme of things,
The wall's a subiect's; but the way's the Kings.

Epigram. XVIII.

[The child that for a sight about was led]

The child that for a sight about was led,
With a huge, monstrous, vast, & vncouth head;
If death, gain-say not, if the fates permit,
Doubtlesse will proue a Giant for his wit.

Epigram. XIX. In Nigellam.

They say Nigella's browne: who wrongs her so?
Shee's white, as white as is a carrion Crow.

Epigram. XX. In Cinnam, & Chlorin.

Cinna woo'd Chloris, but it would not be:
Not, for he wanted of ability,
Or that he was deform'd, or else was old,
Or any other fault that can be told
Shee lou'd him well: yet would not be his Bride:
And why? because shee lou'd not to be tied.

Epigram. XXI. In Misonem.

One time, as was my ordinary wont,
I went abroade into the fields to hunt,
Started a Hare, pursud him with full cry,
And had neare wearied him, when by and by,
Miso, because I hunted in his grounds,
Let loose his running dogs, and baulkt my hounds.
From thence that sport I vtterly forswore,
Being so vnkindly crost by such a Bore:
So shunning th' open fields, and forrests wide,
My common haunt was by the waters side.
For what? thought I, though lands inclosed bee,
Yet Seas, and riuers questionlesse are free.
There will I sport me with the scaly frie,
Fearelesse, though all the world were standing by.
This seely I thought lawfull to be done:
This did I oftentimes; when loe, anone
Miso the chuffe, that did my hunting marre,
Askt me, Sir, know you whose these waters are?
Or get you packing quicke, or know for sure,
That such grosse trespasses I'le not endure.
Dumbe like a Fish I durst not to reply,
But like a flying Fish away did flie.
Scarce knowing now what sport for to retaine,
Being banisht both the earth, and watry plaine,
I tooke a peece next time, and forth-with meant,
To sport me in th' aerean element.
When loe, there mounted in a gibbets chaire,
Miso had tane possession of the aire.
Of all his faire possessions, me thought
This purchase was the best that e're he bought.

Epigram. XXII. In Tempus.

How should I view Times-face as in a glasse,
Which as I looke on it, it still doth passe?

Epigram. XXIII. Ad Illustriss. Dominum Robertum Cecilium, Comitem Sarisburiens. summum Angliæ Thesaurarium.

So passing art thou all, in points of state,
That thou hast but thy selfe to imitate.
Nor need'st thou adde to what thou wer't before:
Be as thou art still, and we aske no more.

Epigram. XXIIII. In Fisherum Episcopum Roffensem.

Fisher, by being the Popes humble thrall,
Missed not much of being Cardinall:
A cap there was prepar'd, a Legate sent,
T'inuest his brow with that graue ornament.
But see how thinges fell out, see how he sped,
Before his cap came, he had lost his head.

Epigram. XXV. In Titum.

What e're I speake, Titus streight ouerhears;
No meruaile; Asses, you know, haue lōg ears.

Epigram. XXVI.

[A parson hauing a tithe Pigge, or two]

A parson hauing a tithe Pigge, or two,
To supper did his neighb'ring friends inuite:
Telling them briefly without more a dooe,
A sp'rituall pigge was all their cheere that night.
And well he styl'd his pigge spirituall,
For spirit-like it had no flesh at all.

Epigram. XXVII. In Papistas, & Brownistas.

The Papists holding that which they do hold,
Cannot be rang'd with vs in the same fold:
The Brownists holding their old tenents still,
May be of the same folde, if that they will:
So that, if one doe well consider all,
The Papists sinne is farre more veniall.
These on a false presum'd supposall stray:
Those know it, and yet leaue the beaten way.

Epigram. XXVIII. In Abstinentiam.

If fasting set the spirit on motion,
And breed a stomacke to deuotion
Then do they not amisse, which now a day
First fast, to get an appetite to pray.

Epigram. XXIX. ------ In ingratum.

I did Sertorius a small curtesie,
Which he did swallow most vngratefully.
Had he beene thankefull, as occasion grew,
His thankes for th'old might haue procur'd a new.

Epigram. XXX. ------ igne expellitur ignis.

Fire driues out fire: yet was the Martyrs loue
A fire too strong for earthly fire to moue.

Epigram. XXXI. In Priscum.

Whilst others thoght my sick friend gan to mēd
Priscus, whose wit was quicke to apprehend,
Foretold me that he lay on his deaths bed;
Foretold me, but t'was after he was dead.

Epigram. XXXII. In Maximum.

Why Maximus weares Roses in his shoo,
Which other men doe vse to smell vnto,
Into my braines as yet it cannot sinke,
Except it be, because his feete doe stinke:
Thinking that so the flowre will interpose,
And keepe that filthy sauor from his nose.

Epigram. XXXIII. In Olum, translat. ex Martiali.

Oro's a thieft: Olus whats that to thee,
If such or such be giu'n to theeuerie?
Milo spends thousands on his beauteous whore.
That's nought to thee, t'is Milo shall be poore.
Sertorius reuels it, till morne appeare:
That hurts not you Olus, what neede you feare?
Lupus owes Titus more then he can pay:
Well see' a gull not you another day.
In other mens affaires you still are prying,
Their faults condemning and their good enuying.
But as for your owne faults, which farre, alas,
Surmount the faults of these, you let them passe.
You owe a tradseman Olus, for a gowne:
Yea, this concernes you Olus, note this downe.
There's none will trust you on your word for ought,
Marke this well Olus, that is worth the note.
Your wife's no honester then she should be,
Record this Olus, in your memorie.
Your eldest daughter now at womans state,
Requires a dower to gratulate her mate:
I marry Syr, I count it not amisse,
Friend Olus, for to ruminate on this.
Many more things if't pleas'd me beat my braine,
Could I reueale; but that's a fruitlesse paine.
Thinke Olus, speake, do what you will, y'are free:
Your deeds, your words, your thoughts are nought to me

Epigram. XXXIIII. Nosce teipsum; ad D. Iohannem Dauisium equitem.

Though others know themselues, might I aduise,
You should not know your selfe in any wise:
For few or none, with such rare gifts endow'd,
If they once know themselues, can but be proud.

Epigram. XXXV. Quibenè latuit, benè vixit.

If they liue best that lead a priuate life,
Mew'd vp in secret from the sight of men,
Where nought accurs but contemplation rife,
So farre forth as our prying thoughts may ken:
Then none with thee can for their liues compare,
Thy life's so good, thy vertues are so rare.
For why, close pent vp in a dungeons cell,
There liu'st thou in a place enuy'de of none,
And hating th' house where thou art forc't to dwell,
Still dost contemplate how thou mayst be gone.
O rare endow'd man (what though in the Fleete?)
In whom these queint occurrents deigne to meete.

Epigram. XXXVI. Ad Petrum Martyrem.

Would'st thou be Martyr, thou hast thy desire.
What need'st thou be baptiz'd againe in fire.

Epigram. XXXVII. Nulla malitia ad malitiam mulieris.

When God had giuen Sathan liberty,
By afflicting Iob, his patience to try.
All those his plagues but as inducements were,
To make Iob serue him, and shake off Gods feare.
This was the vtmost straine of Satans rod:
But's wife did tempt him for to tempt his God.

Epigram. XXXVIII. In Astronomum quendam.

A wise Astronomer of Counsell graue,
Being ask'd what weather we were like to haue.
Answer'd (seeing it pour'd downe right amaine)
That if that weather held, t'was like to raine.

Epigram. XXXIX. Αμνησικακια Christiana.

Though others chafe at wrongs, and fume, & fret,
Yet Christians should remember to forget.

Epigram. XL. Ad D. D. King Aedis Christi Decanum, et Academiæ Oxon. Vicecancellarium.

How oft haue I beene rauish'd with delight,
Whil'st that my greedy care drank in thy words!
How haue thy threatnings put me in a fright,
Piercing my soule worse then a thousand swords!
He that shall heare thee cannot choose but wonder,
To heare one speake so sweet, and yet to thunder.

Epigram. XLI.

[When thou hast cōquer'd all that thou canst win]

When thou hast cōquer'd all that thou canst win,
And stretcht thine Empire to the vtmost shore
There is another conquest to begin
Vpon a little world reseru'd in store.
Which no proud Victor euer ouer-ran:
Conquer this, and I'le say thou art a man.
A man's a name too meane, I scorne the ods:
Doe it, thou shalt be equall to the Gods.

Epigram. XLII. Ad modernos Epigrammatistas.

Heywood, th'old English Epigrammatist
Had wit at will, and art was all he mist:
But now a daies we of the moderne frie
Haue art, and labour with wits penurie.
Wit is the substance, art the polishment:
Art does adorne, and wit it does inuent.
Since then they are so ioyntly link't, that neither
Can well subsist without the helpe of either:
I gladly could haue wisht with all my hart,
That we had had his wit, or he our art.

Epigram. XLIII. In Henr. Garnettum Sanctum Stramineum.

Romans (as stories doe report of old)
Were wont t'haue shrines of straw, but Saints of gold
Yet now of late, I know not by what law,
They haue got them shrines of gold, & Saints of straw.

Epigram. XLIIII. In Biberium.

Biberius, when he has dronke his fill,
And that his guts are on the tenters set.
Each little hillocke then streight seemes a hill;
A cocks-combes crest stands for a coronet.
The candles, which as earst but singly shone,
Whil'st this old mad-cap was in's sober vaine,
Now each to's sight is multiplide by one
Now foure seeme eight, two foure, & one seemes twaine.
He tels Astronomers their rules are fond,
That neuer could as yet two Moones descry:
Hee'le shew you two: th'one in his neighbours pond
T'other right opposite in th'azure skie.
It's strange to see, if that he straine to speake,
(And straine he must if that he speake at all)
How's faltring tongue does silence doubly breake,
And how for one two wordes from's mouth doe fall.
If that he dare aduenture for to goe
Whil'st that his crazie braines with moisture swim,
Tost like a ship he reeles me too and fro,
Or fals, his legs redoubling vnder him.
Yet let me you, his bodies organs, tell
(Which as at all times, so most in his neede
Ought him to serue) beleeu't yee doe not well
Thus for to leaue him with vntimely speede.
Ist reason, thinke you, when he nought conceales,
When he deales plainly both with great and small,
When he his thoughts, his inward thoughts reueales,
That he should be thus doubly dealt withall?

Epigram. XLV. Ad vtramque Academiam.

Sisters, why striue yee for antiquity?
Which if yee had, tell me what had you got?
The older still the likelier to die
Would yee wish your owne ruine? I thinke not.
Let rotten age on meaner thinges lay hold,
But may you flourish still and n'ere grow old.

Epigram. XLVI. In quendam.

There 's one not long since tearm'd his booke a wood
And, that you all know wherefore it is good.

Epigram. XLVII. In Cinnam.

Cinna hath fasted this twice twenty yeare,
And yet not starued for ought that can appeare:
How was it possible so long to last?
Why thus: by fasting (as he did) from fast.

Epigram. XLVIII. In Octauium.

The little store Octauius had of wit
Is the same still, t'is not increast a whit:
His filthy face, with pustles ouer-spred
Is the same still, not a iot altered:
His gesture is the same; his wordes the same,
His deedes doe the like correspondence frame.
Whence is it then they doe him changeling call,
Since, as you see, he is not chang'd at all?

Epigram. XLIX. In Maurum.

Last day when solemne sad I wal'kt the streete,
It was my lucke with Maurus for to meete
Rushing out at a doore; his buttons broke,
His breath wax't short, his fingers ends they shoke,
His haire like a Boares bristles stood vpright,
His eyes did stare, his cheekes look't deadly white.
What was it, thinke you, brought him to this passe?
He came but euen then from his looking glasse:
Viewing his face therein, at the first sight
He blest himselfe, thinking he saw a spright.

Epigram. L. Ad Collegium Wintoniense.

If in this booke dulnesse doe chance to lurke,
I'le Father it, t'is mine owne handy-worke.
If in this booke there be one witty line,
I vtterly disclaim't, t'is wholly thine.

EPIGRAM. LI.

[Awry-nos'd fellow meeting with a clowne]

Awry-nos'd fellow meeting with a clowne
Askt him which was the way to such a towne:
Who told him, as their common fashion is
Follow your nose fore-right, you cannot misse.
A good rule: which had he gone to obey
Must needes haue led him cleane another way,

EPIGRAM. LII. Hydrops.

No sicknesses so moist as dropsies bee
Yet those which haue them wōdrous drie we see.
If moisture kill thirst; then I wonder, I,
How what is moist should make a man so dry.

EPIGRAM. LIII. In quosdam, qui contra rythmum Anglicanum scripserunt.

Writers against rime vs'd so long a season
Ought not for to haue written without reason.

EPIGRAM. LIIII. Ad Papistas.

If any of you Papists now a dayes
Be not so well intreated as you would;
If that a mulct be set you for to pay
Or that you haue some time in prison stood:
Then ô th'exactions! ô the cruelty!
And neuer till now heard-of hard restraint!
But if you look't with an impartiall eye
On what is past, you might surcease your plaint,
When, what you striue to shun with such a doo
We gladly would haue borne, and thank't you too.

EPIGRAM. LV. In Iuellum Episc. Sarisb. religionis causâ profugum.

When persecutions heate began to rage,
Not sparing youth nor yet regarding age;
What was it, Iuël, made thee to retire?
A iuell needs not dread the force of fire.

EPIGRAM. LVI. In Petrum Martyrem.

Peter's a rocke: a rocke, you know stands fast,
And cannot moue away it selfe in hast.
How strongly did those Marian bone-fires frie,
That made euen hils to skip, and rocks to flie?

Epigram. LVII. In eundem & Brentium.

Had the Pope both you in his clouches hent,
T'one had bin Martyr'd, t'other had bin brent.

Epigram. LVIII. In Castorem.

When Castor died, t'was thoght by more then one
That the disease that kild him was the stone,
Say they that list so; I am not so mad
To thinke he died of what he neuer had.

Epigram. LIX. Venus orta mari.

How is't that in the Sea such Monsters breed,
VVhence Venus Queene of beauty did proceed?

Epigram. LX. In auarum quendam patris hospitalis filium.

Your Fathers honest hospitalitie
Is growne to ryot, and to luxurie.
They say you lay the Country round about,
And not a stranger can goe in or out,
But that you closely lying there in waite,
After a few salutes attach him straight:
And downe with you, whether he will or no
Vnto your faire house forth-with must he go.
There you euen glut his eyes with dainty fare
With many a pray fall to, and doe not spare.
If hauing well fed he refuse his meate,
You'le cram him, and perforce will make him eate.
Enough's enough, for modestie with-hold
It was not wont for to be so of old.

Epigram. LXI. In Mendozam Iesuitam.

A lying Iesuit's a Tautologie:
For Iesuite sounds as much without supplie.

EPIGRAM. LXII. Ad D. Georgium Ryues S. Theol. Doct. noui collegij Custodem.

Your name it iumps with your profession right
A husband-man sent from the God of might,
To ransacke, digge, and furrow vp a-part
Each corner of mans brawnie stubborne hart.
Then hauing made our wounded soules to bleed,
You sowe Gods promises, the Gospels seed.
And for to make this well sowne field to grow,
Riuers from that mellifluous tongue doe flow.

EPIGRAM. LXIII. In Syllam è bello reducem.

I question'd Sylla, being all alone,
What store he slew in warre; he answer'd nine:
Had he said none, as the trueth was that time,
So had the tale beene true, and eke the rime.

Epigram. LXIIII. De die nouissimo, ad D. D. Lake, Decanum Wigorn.

God cleansed the old worlds contagious sinne,
By sending out a floud to drowne it in.
With greater crimes his patience still we vrge,
What water cannot cleanse, t'is fire must purge.

Epigram. LXV. De Christo.

God-man without a man sprang from a mother
That neither sex might brag more thē the other.

Epigram. LXVI. De profanatione Sabbati.

God allowes vs six dayes to worke vpon,
Reseruing for his seruice onely one:
And yet to see, vngratefull mankinde stickes,
And murmures to allow him one for sixe.
Had he ask'd all, durst we haue said him nay?
Crauing but one, how can we but obay?

Epigram. LXVII. De Iudæis, ad D. Richardum Meredith Decanum Wellensem.

What we of Christ, but by tradition heare,
That to the Iewes did visibly appeare:
And therefore did they not beleeue, I weene,
For faith it is of things which are not seene.

Epigram. LXVIII. Ad D. Antonium Aile-worth Med. Doct.

Wo-worth the sicke if when their health did faile
Such as you were not to looke what they aile.

Epigram. LXIX. Epitaphium Epicuri.

Here lie heap'd vp within these stones,
Olde Epicurus rotten bones:
VVhose wel-fare was in's dainty fare:
VVhose onely care, was to want care.

Epigram. LXX. In Tyrum.

When Tyrus was surprised by his foe,
And that he saw there was no way but one.
How he did seeme compassionate with woe,
As sorry for the wrongs that he had done?
Life he abandon'd as a loathed guest;
And death he craued, as due for what he did:
Desirous, as it were, of his long rest,
And glad if so his shame might so be hid.
A pretty tricke, (I must commend his wit)
So to beg life in the refusing it.

Epigram. LXXI. De gelu diutino, Anno Dom. 1607.

When the frost did so long a time perseuer,
Nought was there scap't the rigour of the wether,
Except our hearts frozen so hard before,
That they could hardly then be frozen more.

Epigram. LXXII. Ad D.D. Sherwood Medicum Bathon.

Many that want not Physickes theorie,
For want of practise, doe slay many men.
And some that haue the practise, yet thereby
For want of art, saue one, and murther ten.
Thy art (graue Doctor) and thy practicke skill,
Saue more then others want of eyther kill.

Epigram. LXXIII. A Peccadill.

This word (a Peccadill) as I was taught,
Sounds in it selfe nought but a little fault.
If it encrease so as it does beginne,
This little fault will grow to a great sinne.

Epigram. LXXIIII. In Caluum.

Caluus his pate is balde, and wot you why?
Moisture breeds haire, but Caluus pate is drie.

Epigram. LXXV.

They which haue traueld o're the earths round ball,
Tell vs of men that haue no heads at all,
Who so beleeue what euer they haue writ,
Heads they may haue but sure they haue no wit.

Epigram. LXXVI. In Senecam.

Who so thy wittie writings throughly knowes.
Will iudge them to be Epigrams in prose.

Epigram. LXXVII. In Lanionem Medicum.

When Lanio heard the plague increast so sore,
Alas good man how he tooke on therefore:
Fearing belike, if it continued still,
T'would rid vs all, and leaue him none to kill.

Epigram. LXXVIII. Ad Tho. Bastardum Epigrammatistam.

Thy Epigrams are of no bastard race,
For they dare gaze the worlds eye in the face.

Epigram. LXXIX. Volucre ferrum.

Iron long time hid in our mother earth,
And now brought forth by an vnhappy birth,
VVhat hauocke hath it made since of our liues,
By rapyers poyniards, daggers, swords, and kniues
Yet more to hasten on our destinie,
VVe make it wings, and teach it how to flie.

Epigram. LXXX. Ad M. Thomam Leyson Medicum.

Svch is your charity, that I suppose,
You wish well vnto all, euen to your foes.
For your owne sake this wish betimes repeale:
You hurt your selfe by wishing others weale.

Epigram. LXXXI. In Cræsum & Crassum.

Heauen hath no starres, the Sea it hath no sand,
No more hath Cræsus wealth, or Crassus land.

Epigram. LXXXII.

[Signior Immerito doth all surpasse]

Signior Immerito doth all surpasse,
For a most absolute illiterate Asse:
And yet I heard one dare for to auerre,
That this man was an able Minister.
Able? how able trow? O now I wist;
Able to grease his Patron in the fist.

Epigram. LXXXIII. In Pauli quinti Legatos.

Pope Paulus Legats sent from place to place
Leuie in money faster then a pace.
Vnder I know not what kinde of pretence,
Ne may ought for the pay thereof dispence.
All must be merc'd, S. Peters Church and all
Is not this to rob Peter, and pay Paul?

Epigram. LXXXIIII. In quendam.

Ned will not keepe the Iewish Sabaoth hee,
Because the Church hath otherwise ordain'd:
Nor yet the Christian, for he does not see
How altring of the day can be maintain'd.
Thus seeming for to doubt of keeping either,
He halts betwixt them both, and so keepes neither.

Epigram. LXXXV. De intempestiuâ æstate vltimò præteritâ.

I dream't of a drie summer; being awake,
My sight I found it gaue my dreame the lie.
If it be so, that I must needes mistake,
Would I had dream't it wet, and found it drie.

Epigram. LXXXVI. Ad Guliel. Camdenum de suâ Britannià.

Thy Britanie, countreys remote shall see,
And shall not be confin'd in Britanie.

Epigram. LXXXVII. De libero arbitrio ad M.Ioh. Pelling. Theolog.

Not ill, but power to ill from God proceeds,
And does as 'twere euen polish our good deeds.
Which would not be so pleasing in his eyes,
Could we not possibly doe otherwise.

Epigram. LXXXVIII. In Virginem deformem.

Chast are you, as the childe in's infancie:
Thanke not your selfe, but your deformity.
For I nere knew one yet so vildely meane,
That would embrace such a Sow for his Queane.

Epigram. LXXXIX. Ad I.D. Scribam, eundemq; scriptorem.

There 's none were fitter then thou to endite,
If thou couldst pen as well as thou canst write.

Epigram. XC. To make a face.

Wreathing the visage from his proper place,
We commonly style making of a face;
Which by a duers speech me thinkes more fit,
Ought rather to be tearm'd the marring it.

Epigram. XCI. In Gelliam.

If any corner of your apish face
Be not well featur'd, haue not the same grace,
That you could wish it had; you die, and die:
And paint, and paint, and paint incessantly.
Proude princocke, leaue off th'idle paines you take,
Thinke you, that you can mend what God did make.

Epigram. XCII. De mortali peccato.

If that the punishment be leueld out,
And squar'd vnto the sinne, then out of doubt
There are no mortall sinnes, the case is plaine:
For sinnes so cald, incurre immortall paine.

Epigram. XCIII. In ebriosum ieiunantem.

Praise-worthy were your fasting from to eate,
Could you abstaine from drinke as well as meate.

EPIGRAM. XCIIII. In Auarum.

Who giue not of their goods vnto the poore,
Shall hardly enter in at Heauens doore.
What say we then to a purloyning knaue
Which robs them of the little that they haue?
The Diu'ls they cannot torture him too much:
Hell is too light a punishment for such.

EPIGRAM. XCV.

[Will, ask't how's sicke wife did, said: who my Ione?]

Will, ask't how's sicke wife did, said: who my Ione?
Shee'le come abroad ere long I do not feare.
And so she did before two daies were gone:
VVith her heeles forward mounted on a beare.

EPIGRM XCVI. Δεομαι.

The same word with the Greekes doth signifie
To want, and begge: aske you the reason why?
They meete in one still: he whose meanes are scant
VVill be a begging to supplie his want.

Epigram. XCVII. In Titum.

Titus, they say, affects not many makes,
But yet he is a sure friend where he takes,
Must he be hyr'd to loue then for a fee?
Take where and whom he list, he takes not mee.

Epigram. XCVIII. Ad amicum inuidum.

If that I liue and flourish as I would,
You loath me then, repining at my good.
If to lift vp my head I be not able,
You like me then for being miserable.
Are these the tearmes you stand on with your mate?
Loue you me? then pray shew it by your hate.

Epigram. XCIX.

[Of God, but by God none can thinke aright.]

Of God, but by God none can thinke aright.
As none can see the light, but by the light.