Poems or, A Miscellany of Sonnets, Satyrs, Drollery, Panegyricks, Elegies, &c. At the Instance, and Request of Several Friends, Times, and Occasions, Composed; and now at their command Collected, and Committed to the Press. By the Author, M. Stevenson |
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The Cooks Catastrophe.
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The Cooks Catastrophe.
Occasion'd by a Souldier killing Cook's Boy carrying a cover'd Mess through the street.
Unhappy Boy, thus to be sent upon
Death's Errand, with accurs'd Bellerophon
Where God found Meat (here the old Proverb took
The Devil and the Souldier found the Cook.
First Mess was serving; but ah cruel force!
The Cook himself became the second course.
For as the Corps he carry'd to the Womb,
The Bearer by the way, met his own tomb.
But with this difference, as he lost his breath,
The stone, shou'd be above, was underneath.
And yet he cou'd not without marble part,
Had there been none else, but the Souldiers heart
The Boy might prate, alass! in such a case,
Is not a Cook allow'd a little sauce?
Death's Errand, with accurs'd Bellerophon
Where God found Meat (here the old Proverb took
The Devil and the Souldier found the Cook.
First Mess was serving; but ah cruel force!
The Cook himself became the second course.
For as the Corps he carry'd to the Womb,
The Bearer by the way, met his own tomb.
But with this difference, as he lost his breath,
The stone, shou'd be above, was underneath.
And yet he cou'd not without marble part,
Had there been none else, but the Souldiers heart
The Boy might prate, alass! in such a case,
Is not a Cook allow'd a little sauce?
A milk white Napkin o're the Mess was laid
No Ladies Apron such temptations had!
Hunger, that breaks Stone-walls, at such a sight
Had pointed teeth, and made a Coward sight.
The Aire was raisor-keen, and might afford
A stomach, that was sharper than his Sword.
For Mars his Sons, and Neptune's too they say,
Do watch, and fast, far oftner than they pray:
But the Boy mov'd with't, fast as he was able,
For there his Master kept no standing table
With whom the hungry souldier pace wou'd keep,
'Twou'd vex a Dog to see a Pudding creep:
The cloth was spred, but on it nothing lay,
The Red-coat therefore needs wou'd take away.
They both tug'd for't, neither cou'd other brook
The hasty Souldier, nor the teasty Cook.
At last it happen'd the unlucky cloth
Did prove, well-nigh, a winding-sheet to both.
The poor Cooks Boy, that little dreamt of it,
E're he could take a turn, dropt from the Spit.
And yet he had a turn, ah, a shrew'd turn!
Has turn'd him now, alass! into his Urn.
And though for this, the Souldier suffer'd not,
Know it, his hands are redder than his Coat.
No Ladies Apron such temptations had!
37
Had pointed teeth, and made a Coward sight.
The Aire was raisor-keen, and might afford
A stomach, that was sharper than his Sword.
For Mars his Sons, and Neptune's too they say,
Do watch, and fast, far oftner than they pray:
But the Boy mov'd with't, fast as he was able,
For there his Master kept no standing table
With whom the hungry souldier pace wou'd keep,
'Twou'd vex a Dog to see a Pudding creep:
The cloth was spred, but on it nothing lay,
The Red-coat therefore needs wou'd take away.
They both tug'd for't, neither cou'd other brook
The hasty Souldier, nor the teasty Cook.
At last it happen'd the unlucky cloth
Did prove, well-nigh, a winding-sheet to both.
The poor Cooks Boy, that little dreamt of it,
E're he could take a turn, dropt from the Spit.
And yet he had a turn, ah, a shrew'd turn!
Has turn'd him now, alass! into his Urn.
And though for this, the Souldier suffer'd not,
Know it, his hands are redder than his Coat.
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