Democritus, or Doctor Merry-man his Medicines against Melancholy humors. Written by S. R. [i.e. by Samuel Rowlands] |
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A Quack-saluers Humour.
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 | Democritus, or Doctor Merry-man his Medicines |  |
A Quack-saluers Humour.
Gentlemen that approch about my stall,To most rare Physicke I inuite you all:
Come neare and harken what I haue to sell,
And deale with me all those that are not well.
In this boxe here, I haue such precious stuffe,
To giue it prayse, I haue not words inough:
If any humor in your braynes be crept,
Ile fetch it out, as if your heads were swept.
Almost through Europe I haue showne my face,
In euery towne, and euery Market place;
Behold this Salue, I do not vse to lye,
Whole Hospitals, there haue bin cured thereby.
I doe not stand here like a totter'd slaue,
My Veluet and my Chayne of Gold I haue:
Which cannot be maintayned by mens lookes,
Friends, all your towne is hardly worth my bookes.
There stands my Coach and Horses, t'is mine owne,
From hence to Turky is my credit knowne:
In few I cannot boast as many will;
Let nothing speake for me but onely skill.
My tongue cannot expresse to any eare
The sundry vertues that it doth containe,
Or number halfe the Wormes that it hath slayne.
If in your bellies there be Crawlers bred,
In multitudes, like haires vpon your head:
Within some houre space, or there about,
At all the holes you haue, Ile fetch them out,
And ferret them before that I haue done,
Euen like the Hare that forth a bush doth run.
Here is a wond'rous water for the eye,
This for the stomacke: Maisters will you buy?
When I am gone, you will repent to late,
And then like fooles among your selues will prate.
Oh that we had that famous man againe,
When I shall be supply'd in France or Spaine:
Now for a Stoter, you a boxe may haue,
That will the liues of halfe a dozen saue.
My man is come, and in myne eare he sayes,
At home for me, at least a hundred stayes.
I make them tarry and attend for me:
If that you haue no Mony, let me know;
Phisicke of almes, vpon you Ile bestow.
What Doctor in the world can offer more?
Such arant Clownes I neuer knew before:
Here you do stand like Owles and gaze on me,
But not a penny from you I can see.
A man shall come to doe such Dunces good,
And cannot haue his meaning vnderstood;
To talke to sencelesse people is in vaine,
Ile see you hang'd ere I come heere againe.
Be all diseas'd, as bad as Horses be,
And dye in ditches like to Dogs for me:
An old wiues Medicine, Parsely, Timbe, and Sage,
Will serue such buzzards in this scuruy age,
Goose-grease and Fennell, with a few Dog-dates,
Is excellent for such base lowzy Mates:
Farewell, some Hempen haulter be the charme,
To stretch your necks as long as is myne arme.
| Democritus, or Doctor Merry-man his Medicines | |