University of Virginia Library

AN IDYL OF THE ROAD

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

• First Tourist
• Second Tourist
• “Yuba Bill, Driver
• A Stranger

FIRST TOURIST
Look how the upland plunges into cover,
Green where the pines fade sullenly away.
Wonderful those olive depths! and wonderful, moreover—

SECOND TOURIST
The red dust that rises in a suffocating way.

FIRST TOURIST
Small is the soul that cannot soar above it,
Cannot but cling to its ever-kindred clay:
Better be yon bird, that seems to breathe and love it—

SECOND TOURIST
Doubtless a hawk or some other bird of prey.
Were we, like him, as sure of a dinner
That on our stomachs would comfortably stay;
Or were the fried ham a shade or two just thinner,
That must confront us at closing of the day:
Then might you sing like Theocritus or Virgil,
Then might we each make a metrical essay;
But verse just now—I must protest and urge—ill
Fits a digestion by travel led astray.

CHORUS OF PASSENGERS
Speed, Yuba Bill! oh, speed us to our dinner!
Speed to the sunset that beckons far away.

SECOND TOURIST
William of Yuba, O Son of Nimshi, hearken!
Check thy profanity, but not thy chariot's play.
Tell us, O William, before the shadows darken,
Where, and, oh! how we shall dine? O William, say!

YUBA BILL
It ain't my fault, nor the Kumpeney's, I reckon,
Ye can't get ez square meal ez any on the Bay,
Up at yon place, whar the senset 'pears to beckon—
Ez thet sharp allows in his airy sort o' way.
Thar woz a place wor yer hash ye might hev wrestled.
Kept by a woman ez chipper ez a jay—
Warm in her breast all the morning sunshine nestled;
Red on her cheeks all the evening's sunshine lay.

SECOND TOURIST
Praise is but breath, O chariot compeller!
Yet of that hash we would bid you farther say.

YUBA BILL
Thar woz a snipe—like you, a fancy tourist—
Kem to that ranch ez if to make a stay,
Ran off the gal, and ruined jist the purist
Critter that lived—

STRANGER
(quietly)
You're a liar, driver!

YUBA BILL
(reaching for his revolver).
Eh!
Here take my lines, somebody—

CHORUS OF PASSENGERS
Hush, boys! listen!
Inside there's a lady! Remember! No affray!

YUBA BILL
Ef that man lives, the fault ain't mine or his'n.

STRANGER
Wait for the sunset that beckons far away,
Then—as you will! But, meantime, friends, believe me,
Nowhere on earth lives a purer woman; nay,
If my perceptions do surely not deceive me,
She is the lady we have inside to-day.
As for the man—you see that blackened pine tree,
Up which the green vine creeps heavenward away!
He was that scarred trunk, and she the vine that sweetly
Clothed him with life again, and lifted—

SECOND TOURIST
Yes; but pray
How know you this?

STRANGER
She's my wife.

YUBA BILL
The h---ll you say!