University of Virginia Library

LETTER XXII.
SARAH TO ANNE.

`YOU seem lost in the profundity of cogibundity,'
said Mrs. Bellamy, laughing, and laying
her hand on my arm, `and pray what may be the
subject of your meditation?' `I was thinking,'
said I, looking full in her face, `of lady Linden.'
`Humph!' said she, `and I presume lord Linden
and Mrs. O`Donnell were associated with the
idea of her ladyship?'

`They certainly were,' I replied gravely—”
But to have done with “she said,” and “I said,”
(which are ever to me the most tedious interruptions
in telling a story,) I will proceed in my
dialogue without them.

`Perhaps there was a small mixture of curiosity
mingled in the association?'

`A very considerable degree.'

`I would gratify it, but that I suppose your
primitive purity would take alarm; you would
draw up your head, and contract your little consequential
brow.'

`If you fear that,you had better leave my curiosity
ungratified.'

`I do not fear it, Mrs. Darnley, because I
know too much of the world to be incommoded
by any obsolete notions; and I really should like
to laugh you out of some of your antiquated
prudery.'

`If by my antiquated prudery, you mean my
ideas of right and wrong, you will find it a difficult
matter to laugh me out of them.'

`Perhaps an old woman may find it rather
difficult, but be not too confident of your own
strength until you have resisted the persuasions
of a young, handsome, rich lover, with unbounded
affection on one hand, and all the allurements of
affluence on the other.'

`I should be in no danger from such a one, unless
I felt a predilection for him myself; and it is
not in the power of beauty or wealth, to awaken
any thing more in my bosom, than a kind of
distant admiration.'

`O, the heart is always thought invulnerable,
until it is absolutely lost; but pray, my frigid
friend, if youth, beauty, and riches, have no
power on that impenetrable bosom, what may
the requisites be, necessary to awaken it from the
torpor of stupidity? For really. I think a woman
without passion, is a kind of automaton, can speak
and move indeed, but is absolutely dead to all the
pleasures of life.'

`I am not without passions.'

`Oh! I beg your pardon, you are in love with
your husband?—no, now I remember, that cannot
be; no woman can be so tame as to love a
man who had used her so ill.'

`Did I ever complain to you, madam, of his ill
usage?'

`No; nor to any body else that ever I heard of;
but the world talked loudly; besides, has he not

shown his perfect disregard for you, by suffering
you to come here without money, friends, or a
proper protector? None but a madman would
suffer a woman like you, in the bloom of life, with
uncommon power of mind, and highly accomplished,
to throw herself in the way of temptation;
unless indeed he courted opportunities to be fairly
rid of her; which I think must be his motive;
and I should advise you, if a fair opportunity
occurred, to gratify him and choose for yourself
another protector.'

`I shall certainly so far gratify him, as to ease
him of all care on my account; I am able and
willing to support myself; and as to my honor,
I am myself the guardian of it. As to choosing
a protector, where shall I find one? or what
right have I to connect myself with any man while
Mr. Darnley lives.'

`Has he not broken through every moral obligation
to you?'

`That does not release me from the vows I
made to him.'

`Do you love him.'

`No.'

`Do you esteem or respect him?'

`It is impossible I can in so high a degree, as
the relationship that exists between us challenges.'

`What then is to prevent your accepting the
protection of another?'

`My duty to God, and the respect I own to
myself.'

She seemed struck at so firm an answer;
looked silently and gravely at the fire for several
minutes, and then asked abruptly, `Were you
ever in love?'

`No.'

`Have you any idea of the force of that passion?'

`Yes, I believe I have.'

`Again I ask, what requisites are necessary to
awaken it in your bosom?'

`What?—why good sense, good nature, domestic
virtue, liberal education, strong sense of moral
and religious obligation; knowledge without
pedantry; wit without rancor: a heart capable
of experiencing all the fine sensibilities which
dignify human nature; and strength of mind,
self denial and moderation, sufficient to keep
them strictly under the jurisdiction of reason.'

`Oh! hold, for heaven's sake! a pretty formal,
old fashioned piece of clock-work you have put
together; do you ever expect to meet with such
a nonpariel?'

`I neither expect, nor desire it.'

`Why not desire it?'

`Because, situated as I am, to know such a
character would be to feel my own bondage more
intolerable.'

`You are a strange being, Mrs. Darnley; but
suppose this black swan should appear, what
would become of your fine resolutions then?'

`Such a man, madam, would never endanger
the breach of any of them—to merit his esteem,
I must preserve his respect; to this end it would

be my constant endeavor to persevere and strive
to excel in every thing laudable and praiseworthy—sensible,
that by so doing, I could only
hope to retain his regard.'

`Oh, you romantic creature! do you really
think that platonic love can exist?'

`No. I am not talking of what is generally
called love. I believe that the most perfect
esteem can exist between the sexes, if the minds
are properly rectified, without the smallest approximation
towards criminality.'

`Well, but we have lost sight of lord Linden—
shall I give you the history of my daughter?'

`As you please.'

`Well, I believe I must, for I perceive poor
Caroline stands very low in your esteem.'

`Will your history, do you imagine, tend to
raise her?'

`Why—y—es, I believe it may.'

`Then I should like to hear it.'

She began; so take it in her own words—no,
pardon me, not until next post.