A Summer Christmas and a Sonnet upon The S.S. "Ballaarat." By Douglas B. W. Sladen |
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 | A Summer Christmas and a Sonnet upon The S.S. "Ballaarat." |  |
In Melbourne the great “Champion”
Upon each New-Year's day is run,
And every little country town
Likes to have races of its own
Or sports or fairs upon that day.
Upon each New-Year's day is run,
And every little country town
Likes to have races of its own
Or sports or fairs upon that day.
Some half-a-dozen miles away
Was a small place to which the Fortes
Went every year to see the sports.
The sports were nothing much to see,
But it bred cordiality
Between them and the people round
If they were seen upon the ground.
And Will was judge, because he'd been
“A C. U. A. C. Blue.” The scene,
If not attractive to the eye,
Presented a variety:—
Merry-go-rounds, and galleries
For rifle shooting with a prize
Which no one ever won, potshots
A penny each at cocoa-nuts,
Aunt Sally, try-your-strength-machines,
And here and there, behind the scenes,
The ‘three-card trick,’ ‘hat-trick,’ ‘roulette,’
And other snares by sharpers set
The simple country folk to gull,
Though dupes were not too plentiful.
And then there were the usual shows—
Fat women, dwarfs, gigantic sows,
A six-legged calf, and mermaid stuffed,
The whole inordinately puffed.
The sports were mostly handicaps
Distinguished chiefly by the traps
Which runners from a distance set
Undue advantages to get.
In nearly every race some tried
To have some one disqualified
For false name, false performances,
Or other insincerities.
Was a small place to which the Fortes
Went every year to see the sports.
The sports were nothing much to see,
But it bred cordiality
Between them and the people round
If they were seen upon the ground.
And Will was judge, because he'd been
“A C. U. A. C. Blue.” The scene,
If not attractive to the eye,
Presented a variety:—
Merry-go-rounds, and galleries
For rifle shooting with a prize
Which no one ever won, potshots
A penny each at cocoa-nuts,
Aunt Sally, try-your-strength-machines,
And here and there, behind the scenes,
The ‘three-card trick,’ ‘hat-trick,’ ‘roulette,’
211
The simple country folk to gull,
Though dupes were not too plentiful.
And then there were the usual shows—
Fat women, dwarfs, gigantic sows,
A six-legged calf, and mermaid stuffed,
The whole inordinately puffed.
The sports were mostly handicaps
Distinguished chiefly by the traps
Which runners from a distance set
Undue advantages to get.
In nearly every race some tried
To have some one disqualified
For false name, false performances,
Or other insincerities.
The handicap draws larger fields,
But in most other ways it yields
To open contests for the best.
Handicaps are no real test.
All that they generally mean
Is that the handicapper 's been
Ill-posted on the winner's form.
You could distinguish by the storm
Of acclamations which outburst
When local runners came in first.
But in most other ways it yields
To open contests for the best.
Handicaps are no real test.
All that they generally mean
Is that the handicapper 's been
Ill-posted on the winner's form.
You could distinguish by the storm
Of acclamations which outburst
When local runners came in first.
For educated lookers-on
There would not have been any fun,
But for an aboriginal
Who started (without fees at all)
For every race—one of the wrecks
Whom white men's vices, without checks
Which white men have, were dragging down
Post-haste to his perdition,
A blear-eyed, whiskey-sodden wretch,
Often too tottering to fetch
A pail of water to a horse.
He almost reeled about the course—
A contrast to the crowd, who were
Far soberer and steadier
Than such a crowd oft is elsewhere.
The crowning merriment was when
This poor degraded specimen
Of the old rulers of the place
Had started in a hurdle race,
And, jumping too close, sat upon
The hurdle-rails as he came down.
There would not have been any fun,
But for an aboriginal
Who started (without fees at all)
For every race—one of the wrecks
Whom white men's vices, without checks
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Post-haste to his perdition,
A blear-eyed, whiskey-sodden wretch,
Often too tottering to fetch
A pail of water to a horse.
He almost reeled about the course—
A contrast to the crowd, who were
Far soberer and steadier
Than such a crowd oft is elsewhere.
The crowning merriment was when
This poor degraded specimen
Of the old rulers of the place
Had started in a hurdle race,
And, jumping too close, sat upon
The hurdle-rails as he came down.
I.e., one of the representatives of Cambridge University in the Inter-University Athletic Sports at Lillie Bridge.
But only Will of all the Fortes
Paid much attention to the sports.
Phil was too busy with his suit,
Kit with contrivances astute
To fence it off. Lil and her lover
Wished to go ere it was half over,
And the rest scarce attended more
Than did the interested four.
Paid much attention to the sports.
Phil was too busy with his suit,
Kit with contrivances astute
To fence it off. Lil and her lover
Wished to go ere it was half over,
And the rest scarce attended more
Than did the interested four.
The two old folks had stayed at home,
Thinking it better not to come,
The neighbours being quite content
If any of their party went.
Thinking it better not to come,
The neighbours being quite content
If any of their party went.
Ida had grappled Chesterfield,
Who seemed agreeable to yield.
Indeed the cheerful little dame,
Always so kind, always the same,
And always fashionably dressed
(In fashions that became her best),
Was calculated to engage
A politician of his age
And corrigible bachelor
No less, if not indeed much more,
Than a mere girl whose prettiness
Was her sole claim to his address.
And these two bandied chaff all day
In what Will called a reckless way,
When he came back to steal a munch
Of their drawn-out, luxurious lunch.
Who seemed agreeable to yield.
Indeed the cheerful little dame,
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And always fashionably dressed
(In fashions that became her best),
Was calculated to engage
A politician of his age
And corrigible bachelor
No less, if not indeed much more,
Than a mere girl whose prettiness
Was her sole claim to his address.
And these two bandied chaff all day
In what Will called a reckless way,
When he came back to steal a munch
Of their drawn-out, luxurious lunch.
The barrister was trying on
Blandishments with Maud Morrison,
But found her less amenable
Than juries whom he handled well.
For firstly, Maud (who, if 'twere known,
Knew nought of her own race) looked down
Upon his humble origin;
And secondly, she was not in
The best of tempers, seeing Phil,
Whom she thought so adorable,
Wasting attention upon Kit,
Who barely tolerated it.
Blandishments with Maud Morrison,
But found her less amenable
Than juries whom he handled well.
For firstly, Maud (who, if 'twere known,
Knew nought of her own race) looked down
Upon his humble origin;
And secondly, she was not in
The best of tempers, seeing Phil,
Whom she thought so adorable,
Wasting attention upon Kit,
Who barely tolerated it.
Hall talked to Madge, or rather both
Sat by each other and seemed loath
To talk to others. Last of all,
Miss Ridley would have gone to wall
Had it not been for Kit, who was
The innocent but active cause
Of Phil's ineffable disgust,
For he had meant to have discussed
Matters for Kit's own private ear,
Which she was anxious not to hear,
And, seeing that the governess
Was all alone, began to express
Her pity and invited her
To come and sit down where they were,
Contriving that the talk should be
On subjects to include all three.
Kit really had a gracious heart
And liked to act a friendly part:
But there was truly to confess
One unto whom her kindliness
Would have been much more grateful than
The governess—the gentleman
Who sat on her right hand and gazed
Upon her face till well nigh dazed.
Sat by each other and seemed loath
To talk to others. Last of all,
Miss Ridley would have gone to wall
Had it not been for Kit, who was
The innocent but active cause
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For he had meant to have discussed
Matters for Kit's own private ear,
Which she was anxious not to hear,
And, seeing that the governess
Was all alone, began to express
Her pity and invited her
To come and sit down where they were,
Contriving that the talk should be
On subjects to include all three.
Kit really had a gracious heart
And liked to act a friendly part:
But there was truly to confess
One unto whom her kindliness
Would have been much more grateful than
The governess—the gentleman
Who sat on her right hand and gazed
Upon her face till well nigh dazed.
Hall, the Professor, Will and Lil
Had ridden. Kit so dreaded Phil
That she had given up her horse
To Hall, and driven to the course
Lest any accident should force
The fatal tete-à-tete. Phil drove,
He was so visibly in love
That when he said he wished to drive
(Which was when he'd heard Kit arrive
At her decision), Will gave up
And rode. For neither cared to stoop
To th' other's driving which they thought
Uninteresting if not fraught
With ignominy positive,
Having for years been wont to live
Like independent potentates
Of equal, jealous, neighbouring states.
Had ridden. Kit so dreaded Phil
That she had given up her horse
To Hall, and driven to the course
Lest any accident should force
The fatal tete-à-tete. Phil drove,
He was so visibly in love
That when he said he wished to drive
(Which was when he'd heard Kit arrive
At her decision), Will gave up
And rode. For neither cared to stoop
To th' other's driving which they thought
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With ignominy positive,
Having for years been wont to live
Like independent potentates
Of equal, jealous, neighbouring states.
Kit would not ride upon the box
And play the goose beside the fox
For reasons obvious, and Maud,
For reasons just as plain and broad,
Could not, in justice to her pride,
Take a position by his side,
And Madge knew by experience
How Phil could illustrate his sense
Of being victimised, too well
To think the post desirable,
And Phil could hardly interfere
With Ida, whom the ex-minister
Made in a kind of way his own,
Although he gladly would have done,
For, failing Kit, he liked to be
With Ida, who dressed daintily,
And had the manners of the class
With whom he wished his days to pass.
He was not of a kind to press
Attentions on the governess,
And so he found himself left with
His pet aversion—Lachlan Smith.
To Phil's more educated eye
The barrister's gentility
Was shoddy and suggestive of
A “Monster Outfitting Alcove,”
With his frock-coat not fitting well,
And hat the converse of a bell,
And long shirt cuffs and large breast pin,
And collar forcing up his chin.
And play the goose beside the fox
For reasons obvious, and Maud,
For reasons just as plain and broad,
Could not, in justice to her pride,
Take a position by his side,
And Madge knew by experience
How Phil could illustrate his sense
Of being victimised, too well
To think the post desirable,
And Phil could hardly interfere
With Ida, whom the ex-minister
Made in a kind of way his own,
Although he gladly would have done,
For, failing Kit, he liked to be
With Ida, who dressed daintily,
And had the manners of the class
With whom he wished his days to pass.
He was not of a kind to press
Attentions on the governess,
And so he found himself left with
His pet aversion—Lachlan Smith.
To Phil's more educated eye
The barrister's gentility
Was shoddy and suggestive of
A “Monster Outfitting Alcove,”
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And hat the converse of a bell,
And long shirt cuffs and large breast pin,
And collar forcing up his chin.
And his pretentious arguings
On races, stock and other things,
Of which he was quite ignorant,
With people who were conversant
Were calculated to confirm
And not remove suspicion's germ.
On races, stock and other things,
Of which he was quite ignorant,
With people who were conversant
Were calculated to confirm
And not remove suspicion's germ.
But Lachlan Smith talked glibly on
These topics dangerous upon,
The whole way there and whole way back
Without suspecting any lack
Of cordial responsiveness,
Although if he had chattered less
And pondered more he must have seen
Phil's ill-disguised contempt and spleen,
And was so well pleased in his mind
With his success that he inclined
To be almost familiar,
And might have gone a step too far
Had they not fortunately come,
Just as they verged upon it, home.
That being the last night of all,
These topics dangerous upon,
The whole way there and whole way back
Without suspecting any lack
Of cordial responsiveness,
Although if he had chattered less
And pondered more he must have seen
Phil's ill-disguised contempt and spleen,
And was so well pleased in his mind
With his success that he inclined
To be almost familiar,
And might have gone a step too far
Had they not fortunately come,
Just as they verged upon it, home.
Even the unæsthetic Hall
Sat down to listen to the tale.
Madge was named Queen without avail,
Insisting that her governess
Was fitter, though when they did press
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No more originality
Than timidly to give once more
The subject of the night before—Love.
| A Summer Christmas and a Sonnet upon The S.S. "Ballaarat." | |