The Wiccamical Chaplet a selection of original poetry; comprising smaller poems, serious and comic; classical trifles; sonnets; inscriptions and epitaphs; songs and ballads; mock-heroics, epigrams, fragments, &c. &c. Edited by George Huddesford |
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WELL-A-DAY JACK! OR, THE JACK THAT JACK SPLIT.
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 | The Wiccamical Chaplet |  |
WELL-A-DAY JACK! OR, THE JACK THAT JACK SPLIT.
A NEW BALLAD.
Muse, grant my request!
I some rhimes of the best
And fine-flowing numbers intreat
For my two-edged theme,
A Jack of the stream,
And a Jack of O---d-street.
I some rhimes of the best
And fine-flowing numbers intreat
For my two-edged theme,
A Jack of the stream,
And a Jack of O---d-street.
127
This Jack of the wave he
Made Jacks cry Peccavi,
And gave to his comrades no quarter;
But, when Jack of the land
Once took him in hand,
Our fresh-water Jack caught a tartar.
Made Jacks cry Peccavi,
And gave to his comrades no quarter;
But, when Jack of the land
Once took him in hand,
Our fresh-water Jack caught a tartar.
And this Jack o' dry ground
Was a Lawyer profound,
And his head-piece, I'll lay what you dare on't,
With Indentures was lin'd,
But no brains you would find
Tho' you look'd for 'em with a search-warrant.
Was a Lawyer profound,
And his head-piece, I'll lay what you dare on't,
With Indentures was lin'd,
But no brains you would find
Tho' you look'd for 'em with a search-warrant.
Jack's Client, for lack
Of cash, sent him a Jack,
And averr'd 'twas the best he could get;
But no matter for that,
Had it been but a Sprat,
All were fish that came to Jack's net.
Of cash, sent him a Jack,
And averr'd 'twas the best he could get;
But no matter for that,
Had it been but a Sprat,
All were fish that came to Jack's net.
Then a question arose—
Of this Jack to dispose;
So Jack summon'd his council of state:
There was Jack, and Jack's wife,
And, with keen kitchen knife,
Waddled after Jack's cook-maid Kate.
Of this Jack to dispose;
So Jack summon'd his council of state:
There was Jack, and Jack's wife,
And, with keen kitchen knife,
Waddled after Jack's cook-maid Kate.
128
With majestical air
Jack himself took the chair,
To conduct in due form and decorum
The debate with his mate,
And her subaltern, Kate,
On the Jack in the platter before 'em.
Jack himself took the chair,
To conduct in due form and decorum
The debate with his mate,
And her subaltern, Kate,
On the Jack in the platter before 'em.
“Come riddle my ree!
“Tell me which of us three
“This nail on the head can hit:
“Shall the Jack we have got
“Go to spit or to pot;
“Or shall it in sunder be split?—
“Tell me which of us three
“This nail on the head can hit:
“Shall the Jack we have got
“Go to spit or to pot;
“Or shall it in sunder be split?—
“And the tail, or the jowl on't,
“Be sent to Rich Rowland,
“To curry his favour and grace:
“Half a Jack for a gift
“To rich Rowland is thrift,
“In requital he'll give me a brace.”—
“Be sent to Rich Rowland,
“To curry his favour and grace:
“Half a Jack for a gift
“To rich Rowland is thrift,
“In requital he'll give me a brace.”—
Cries Katern, “I've hit it;
“The Jack shall be spitted,
“And stuff'd with a pudding so nice;
“With eggs daintily sauc'd,
“Tho' a tester it cost,
“And, sweet Sir, let us all have a slice.”
“The Jack shall be spitted,
“And stuff'd with a pudding so nice;
“With eggs daintily sauc'd,
“Tho' a tester it cost,
“And, sweet Sir, let us all have a slice.”
129
But Well-a-day Jack
Look'd confoundedly black:
“What!—incur such unheard-of expences!
“Should I make such a treat
“I must die in the Fleet;
“Sure the baggage is out of her senses.
Look'd confoundedly black:
“What!—incur such unheard-of expences!
“Should I make such a treat
“I must die in the Fleet;
“Sure the baggage is out of her senses.
Says Jack Well-a-day's Jill,
“If a Jack the good-will
“And favour will win of Rich Rowland;
“Never cut it in half,
“You curmudgeonly calf,
“But be gen'rous and send him the whole on't!”
“If a Jack the good-will
“And favour will win of Rich Rowland;
“Never cut it in half,
“You curmudgeonly calf,
“But be gen'rous and send him the whole on't!”
“Send him all and keep none!—
“Good Bone of my bone,
“Such counsel may suit other Jacks:
“Kate, give me the knife,
“For, in spite of my wife,
“Rich Rowland and I will go snacks.”—
“Good Bone of my bone,
“Such counsel may suit other Jacks:
“Kate, give me the knife,
“For, in spite of my wife,
“Rich Rowland and I will go snacks.”—
Jack ended his sermon:
Then seiz'd cousin-german,
And, grinning with self-approbation,
'Twixt the Jack's tail and gills,
Without parchment or quills,
Drew articles of separation.
Then seiz'd cousin-german,
And, grinning with self-approbation,
'Twixt the Jack's tail and gills,
Without parchment or quills,
Drew articles of separation.
130
Of these old women three—
Jack's Mate, Kate, and he,
Each held her opinion a good one:
But Jack, best of all, knew
That a Jack split in two
Would save him the charge of a pudding.
Jack's Mate, Kate, and he,
Each held her opinion a good one:
But Jack, best of all, knew
That a Jack split in two
Would save him the charge of a pudding.
Since Jack, we must own,
Such sage conduct has shewn,
If prodigals call him a blockhead,
And a niggardly sot,
He values it not,
For Jack knows he's a pudding in pocket.
Such sage conduct has shewn,
If prodigals call him a blockhead,
And a niggardly sot,
He values it not,
For Jack knows he's a pudding in pocket.
Of Jack Straw never vaunt,
Nor of old Jack of Gaunt,
Nor Jack Robinson's merits report;
I have troll'd for a Jack
That is worth the whole pack,
And I hope he has found you some sport.
Nor of old Jack of Gaunt,
Nor Jack Robinson's merits report;
I have troll'd for a Jack
That is worth the whole pack,
And I hope he has found you some sport.
Then sing—Hey derry down!
God save the King's Crown!
(For a Ballad should always have that in't:)
And, for splitting of Jacks,
Let this first of Law-quacks,
Jack Well-a-day, have the King's Patent!
God save the King's Crown!
(For a Ballad should always have that in't:)
And, for splitting of Jacks,
Let this first of Law-quacks,
Jack Well-a-day, have the King's Patent!
| The Wiccamical Chaplet | |