University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

Enter ERGASILUS.
Because I usually attend at feasts
An invocated guest, our sparks forsooth
Nickname me Mistress.—This, I know, the jeerers
Say is absurd.—I say, 'tis right.—The lover
At a carousal, when he throws the dice,
Invokes his Mistress.—Is she invocated,
Or is she not?—Most plain, she is.—But yet,
To say the truth, we are term'd Parasites
For a much plainer reason.—For, like mice,
Ask'd or not ask'd, we always live upon
Provisions not our own.—In the vacation,
When to the country men retire, 'tis also
Vacation with my teeth.—As in hot weather
Snails hide them in their shells, and, if no dew
Should chance to fall, live on their proper moisture,
We Parasites, in times of the vacation,
Keep ourselves snug; and while into the country
Those are retired, on whom we us'd to feed,
Poor we support our natural call of appetite
From our own juices.—We in the vacation
Are thin as hounds;—but when men come to town,
We are as plump as mastiffs, full as troublesome,
And as detested. What is worst of all,
Except we patiently endure a drubbing,
And let them break their pots upon our heads,
We must submit to sit among the beggars
Without the city gate.—That this will be
My lot, there's not a little danger, since
My patron is a captive with the enemy.
Th'Ætolians and the Ælians are at war:
We now are in Ætolia. Philopolemus,
Old Hegio's son, whose house is here hard by,
Is prisoner now in Ælis.—Sad indeed
This house to me! which, often as I see it,
Brings tears into my eyes. The good old father,
Upon his son's account, not in compliance
With his own inclination, has engaged
In an illiberal traffic, and by purchasing
Of captives hopes, that in some lucky hour
He may find one to barter for his son.—
But the door opens, whence I've sallied forth
Full many a time, drunk with excess of cheer.