University of Virginia Library

The second Act.

Enter sir Thomas Bornewell.
Tis a strange humour I have undertaken
To dance, and play, and spend as fast as she does,
But I am resolv'd, it may doe good upon her,
And fright her into thrift, nay ile endeavour
To make her jealous too, if this doe not
Allay her gamboling, shee's past a woman
And onely a miracle must tame her.

Enter Steward.
St.
Tis Mr. Fredericke my Ladies nephew.

Bo.
What of him?

St.
Is come from the Vniversitie.

Bo.
By whose directions?

St.
It seemes my Ladies.

Bo.
Enter Mr. Fredericke.

Fr.
These letters from my Tutor will acquaint you.

St.
Welcome home sweet Mr. Fredericke.

Fr.
Where's my Aunt?

St.
Shee's busie about her painting, in her closet,
The Outlandish man of Art, is copying out
Her countenance.

Fr.
She is sitting for her picture.

St.
Yes siir, and when tis drawne, she will be hang'd
Next the French Cardinall in the dining roome,
But when she heares you'r come, she will dismisse
The Belgicke gentleman to entertaine
Your worship.

Fr.
Change of aire has made you witty.

Bo.
Your Tutor gives you a hansome character
Fredericke, and is sorry your Aunts pleasure
Commands you from your studies, but I hope
You have no quarrell to the liberall arts,
Learning is an addition beyond
Nobilitie of birth, honour of bloud
Without the ornament of knowledge is
A glorious ignorance.

Fr.
I never knew more sweet and happy houres
Than I emploid upon my bookes, I heard
A part of my Philosophy, and was so
Delighted with the harmony of nature,
I could have wasted my whole life upon't.

Bo.
Tis pitty a rash indulgence should corrupt
So faire a Genius, shee's here, ile observe.

Enter Aretina, Alexander, Littleworth. Steward.
Fr.
My most lov'd Aunt.

Are.
Support me, J shall faint.

Lit.
What ailes your Ladiship?

Are.
Is that Fredericke,
In blacke.

Alex.
Yes Madam, but the doublets Sattin.

Are.
The boy's undone.

Fre.
Madam you appeare troubled.

Are.
Have J not cause? Was not J trusted with
Thy education boy, and have they sent thee
Home like a very scholler.

Alex.
Twas ill done
How ere they usd him in the Vniversitie,
To send him to his friends thus.

Fre.
Why sir, blacke
(For tis the colour that offends your eyesight)
Is not within my reading any blemish,
Sables are no disgrace in Heraldry.

Alex.
Tis comming from the Colledge thus, that makes it
Dishonorable, while you ware it for
Your father, it was commendable, or were
Your Aunt dead, you might mourne and iustifie.

Are.

Fr.
Madam with your pardon, you have practisd
Another dialect then was taught me when
I was commended to your care and breeding,
I understand not this, Latine or Greeke
Are more familiar to my apprehension,
Logicke was not so hard in my first lectures
As your strange language.

Are.
Some strong waters, oh!

Lit.
Comfits will be as comfortable to your stomacke Madam.

Are.
I feare hee's spoild for ever, he did name
Logicke, and may for ought I know be gone
So farre to understand it, I did alwayes
Suspect they would corrupt him in the Colledge,
Will your Greeke sawes and sentences discharge
The Mercer, or is Latin a fit language
To court a mistresse in? Mr. Alexander
If you have any charitie, let me
Commend him to your breeding, I suspect
I must employ my Doctor first, to purge
The Vniversitie that lies in's head
It alters his complexion.

Alex.
If you dare
Trust me to serve him.

Are.
Mr. Littleworth
Be you joynd in commission.

Lit.
I will teach him
Postures and rudiments.

Are.
I have no patience
To see him in this shape, it turnes my stomacke,
When he has cast his Academicke skinne
He shall be yours, I am bound in conscience
To see him bred, his owne state shall maintaine
The charge, while hee's my Ward, come hither sir.

Fr.
What does my Aunt meane to doe with me?

St.
To make you a fine gentleman, and translate you
Out of your learned language sir, into
The present Goth and Vandall, which is French.

Bo.
Into what mischiefe will this humour ebbe?
Shee will undo the boy, I see him ruind,
My patience is not manly, but I must
Vse stratagem to reduce her, open wayes
Give me no hope.

Exit.
St.
You shall be obey'd Madam.

Exeunt.
Fr.
Mr. Steward, are you sure we doe not dreame?
Was't not my Aunt you talkt to.

St.
One that loves you
Deare as her life, these cloathes doe not become you,
You must have better sir.

Fr.
These are not old.

St.
More sutable to the towne and time, we keepe
No Lent here, nor is't my Ladies pleasure you
Should fast from any thing you have a minde to,
Vnlesse it be your learning, which she would have you
Forget with all convenient speed that may be,
For the credit of your noble family,
The case is alter'd since we liv'd i'th country,
We doe not invite the poore o'th parish
To dinner, keepe a table for the tenants,
Our kitchen does not smell of beefe, the sellar
Defies the price of malt and hops, the footmen
And coachdrivers may be drunke like gentlemen
With wine, nor will three Fidlers upon holidayes
With aid of Bagge pipes, that cald in the countrey
To dance, and plough the hall up with their hobnailes,
Now make my Lady merry, wee doe feed
Like princes, and feast nothing but princes,
And are these robes fit to be seene amongst e'm.

Fr.
My Lady keepes a court then, is Sir Thomas
Affected with this state and cost.

Ste.
He was not,
But is converted, and I hope you wo'not
Persist in heresie, but take a course
Of riot to content your friends, you shall
Want nothing, if you can be proud and spend it
For my Ladies honour, here are a hundred
Peeces, will serve you till you have new clothes,
I will present you with a nag of mine
Poore tender of my service, please you accept,
My Ladies smile more than rewards me for it,
I must provide fit servants to attend you,
Monsieures for horse and foote.

Fr.
I shall submit
If this be my Aunts pleasure and be rul'd,
My eyes are open'd with this purse already,
And Sacke will helpe to inspire me, I must spend it.

St.
What else sir?

Fr.
Ile begin with you, to incourage
You, to have still a speciall care of me,
There is five peeces, not for your nag.

St.
No sir, I hope it is not.

Fr.
Buy a Beaver
For thy owne blocke, I shall be ruld, who does
Command the wineseller?

St.
Who command but you sir?

Fr.
Ile try to drinke a health or two, my Aunts
Or any bodies, and if that foundation
Stagger me not too much, I will commence
In all the arts of London.

St.
If you finde sir
The operation of the wine, exalt
Your bloud to the desire of any femall
Delight, I know your Aunt wonot deny
Any of her chambermaides to practise on,
She loves you but too well.

Fr.
I know not how
I may be for that exercise, farewell Aristotle,
Prethee commend me to the Library
At Westminster, my bones I bequeath thither,
And to the learned wormes that meane to visit 'em,
I will compose my selfe, I beginne to thinke
I have lost time indeed, come to the wineseller.

Exit.
Enter Celestina, Mardana, Isabella.
Ma.
But shall we not Madam expose our selves
To censure for this freedome.

Cel.
Let them answer
That dare mistake us, shall we be so much
Cowards to be frighted from our pleasure,
Because men have malitious tongues, and shew
What miserable soules they have, no cozen,
We hold our life and fortunes, upon no
Mans charitie, if they dare shew so little
Discretion to traduce our fames, we will
Be guilty of so much wit to laugh at em.

Is.
Tis a becomming fortitude.

Cel.

Ma.
And yet they say your entertainments are,
Give me your pardon Madam, to proclaime
Your selfe a widow, and to get a husband.

Cel.
As if a Lady of my yeares, some beautie
Left by her husband rich, that had mourn'd for him
A twelve moneth too, could live so obscure i'th towne
That gallants would not know her, and invite
Themselves without her chargeable proclamations,
Then we are worse than Citizens, no widow
Left wealthy can be throughly warme in mourning,
But some one noble bloud or lusty kindred
Claps in, with his gilt coach, and Flandrian trotters,
And hurries her away to be a Countesse.
Courtiers have spies, and great ones with lharge titles,
Cold in their owne estates, would warme themselves
At a rich city bonefire.

Is.
Most true Madam.

Cel.
No matter for corruption of the bloud,
Some undone Courtier made her husband rich,
And this new Lord receives it backe againe.
Admit it were my policie, and that
My entertainements pointed to acquaint me
With many sutors, that I might be safe,
And make the best election, could you blame me?

Ma.
Madam tis wisdome.

Cel.
But I should be
In my thoughts miserable to be fond
Of leaving the sweet freedome I possesse,
And court my selfe into new marriage fetters,
I now observe mens severall wits, and windings,
And can laugh at their follies.

Ma.
You have given
A most ingenious satisfaction.

Cel.
One thing ile tell you more, and this I give you
Worthy your imitation from my practise,
You see me merry, full of song and dancing,
Pleasant in language, apt to all delights
That crowne a publike meeting, but you cannot
Accuse me of being prodigall of my favours
To any of my guests, I doe not summon
By any winke, a gentleman to follow me,
To my withdrawing chamber, I heare all
Their pleaes in Court, nor can they boast abroad
And doe me justice, after a salute
They have much conversation with my lippe,
I hold the kissing of my hand a courtesie,
And he that loves me, must upon the strength
Of that, expect till I renew his favour.
Some Ladies are so expensive in their graces,
To those that honour 'em, and so prodigall
That in a little time, they have nothing but
The naked sinne left to reward their servants,
Whereas a thrift in our rewards, will keepe
Men long in their devotion, and preserve
Our selves in stocke, to encourage those that honour us.

Is.
This is an art worthy a Ladies practise.

Cel.
It takes not from the freedome of our mirth,
But seemes to advance it, when we can possesse
Our pleasures with security of our honour,
And that preservd, I welcome all the joyes
My fancy can let in. In this I have given
The copie of my minde, nor doe I blush,
You understand it.

Enter Celestinaes gentlewoman.
Is.
You have honord us.

Gen.
Madam, Sir William Sentlove's come to waite on you.

Cel.
There's one would be a client, make excuse
For a few minuts.

Mar.
One that comes a woing?

Cel.
Such a thing he would seeme, but in his guiltinesse
Of little land, his expectation is not
So valiant as it might be, he weares cloathes,
And feeds with noblemen, to some I heare
No better than a wanton emissarie,
Or scout for Venus wild foule, which made tame,
He thinkes no shame to stand court centinell,
In hope of the reversion.

Mar.
I have heard
That some of them are often my Lords tasters,
The first fruits they condition for, and will
Exact as fees for the promotion.

Cel.
Let them agree, there's no account shall lie
For me among their trafficke.

Enter Gentlewo.
Gen.
Mr. Hairecut Madam
Is new come in, to tender you his service.

Cel.
Let him discourse a little with sir William.

Exit.
Ma.
What is this gentleman Mr. Hairecut Madam?
I note him very gallant, and much courted
By gentlemen of qualitie.

Cel.
I know not
More than a trim gay man, he has some great office
Sure by his confident behaviour,
He would be entertaind under the title
Of servant to me, and I must confesse,
He is the sweetest of all men that visite me.

Is.
How meane you Madam?

Cel.
He is full of powder,
He will save much in perfume for my chamber,
Were he but constant here; give e'm accesse.

Enter Sir Will. Sentlove, Mr. Hairecut.
Sent.
Madam the humblest of your servants is
Exalted to a happinesse, if you smile
Vpon my visit.

Ha.
I must begge your charitie
Vpon my rudenesse Madam, I shall give
That day up lost to any happinesse,
When I forget to tender you my service.

Cel.
You practise Courtship gentlemen.

Sent.
But cannot
Find where with more desert to exercise it,
What Ladie's this I pray?

Cel.
A kinswoman
Of mine sir William.

Sent.
I am more her servant,

Cel.
You came from Court, now I presume.

Ha.
Tis Madam
The sphere I move in, and my destinie
Was kinde to place me there, where J enjoy
All blessings that a mortall can possesse,
That lives not in your presence, and J should
Fixe my ambition, when you would vouchsafe
Me so much honour, to accept from me
An humble entertainment there.

Cel.
But by
What name shall I be knowne, in what degree
Shall J be of kinred to you.

Hair.
How meane you Madam?

Cel.
Perhaps you'le call me sister, I shall take it
A speciall preferment, or it may be
J may passe under title of your Mistresse,
If I seeme rich, and faire enough, to engage
Your confidence to owne me.

Ha.
J would hope.

Cel.
But tis not come to that yet, you will sir
Excuse my mirth.

Ha.
Sweet Madam.

Cel.
Shall J take
Boldnesse to aske what place you hold in Court?
Tis an uncivill curiositie,
But you'le have mercie to a womans question.

Ha.
My present condition Madam, carries
Honour and profit, though not to be nam'd
With that employment J expect ith state
Which shall discharge the first maturitie
Vpon your knowledge, untill then I begge
You allow a modest silence.

Cel.
I am charmd sir,
And if you scape embassador, you cannot
Reach a preferment, wherein I'me against you,
But where's sir William Sentlove?

Ha.
Give him leave
To follow his nose Madam, while he hunts
In view, hee'le soone be at a fault.

Cel.
You know him.

Ha.
Know Sentlove? not a page but can decipher him,
The waiting women know him to a scruple,
Hee's cal'd the Blistermaker of the towne.

Cel.
Whats that?

Is.
The laundry Ladies can resolve you,
And you may guesse, an arrant Epicure
As this day lives, borne to a prettie wit,
A Knight but no gentleman, J must
Be plaine to you, your Ladiship may have
Vse of this knowledge, but conceale the author.

Sen.
J kiise your fairest hand.

Mar.
You make a difference,
Pray reconcile e'm to an equall whitenesse.

Sent.
You wound my meaning Lady.

Cel.
Nay sir William
Has the art of complement.

Sent.
Madam, you honor me
'Bove my desert of language.

Cel.
Will you please
To enrich me with your knowledge of that gentleman.

Sent.
Doe you not know him Madam.

Cel.
What is he?

Sen.
A Camphire ball, you shall know more hereafter
He shall tell you himselfe, and save my character,
Till then, you see hee's proud.

Cel.
One thing gentlemen
I observe in your behaviour, which is rare
In two that court one mistresse, you preserve
A noble friendship, theres no gum within
Your hearts, you cannot fret, or shew an envy
Of one anothers hope, some would not governe
Their passions with that temper.

Sent.
The whole world
Shanot divorce our friendship. Mr Hairecut
Would I had lives to serve him, he is lost
To goodnesse does not honour him.

Ha.
My knight!

Cel.
This is right playing at Court Shuttlecocke.

Enter Gentlew.
Gen.
Madam, there is a gentleman desires
To speake w'ee, one sir Thomas Bornwell.

Cel.
Bornewell?

Gen.
He sayes he is a stranger to your Ladiship.

Sen.
I know him.

Haire.
Your neighbour Madam.

Sen.
Husband to the Lady, that so revells in the strand.

Ha.
He has good parts they say, but cannot helpe
His Ladies bias.

Cel.
They have both much fame
'Ith towne for severall merits, pray admit him.

Ha.
What comes he for?

Enter sir Thomas.
Bo.
Your pardon noble Lady, that I have
Presum'd a stranger to your knowledge.

Cel.
Sir,
Your worth was here before you, and your person
Cannot be here ingratefull.

Bor.
Tis the bounty
Of your sweet disposition Madam, make me
Your servant Lady by her faire example,
To favour me—I never knew one turne
Her cheeke to a gentleman that came to kisse her
But sha'd a stinking breath, your servant gentlemen,
Will Sent love how ist?

Cel.
I am sorry Coze
To accuse you, we in nothing more betray
Our selves to censure of ridiculous pride,
Then answering a faire salute too rudely,
Oh it shewes ill upon a gentlewoman
Not to returne the modest lip, if she
Would have the world beleeve, her breath is not
Offensive.

Bor.
Madam, I have businesse
With you.

Sent.
His lookes are pleasant.

Cel.
With me sir?

Bor.
I heare you have an ex'lent wit Madam,
I see your faire

Cel.
The first is but report,
And doe not trust your eyesight for the last,
Cause I presume y'are mortall and may erre.

Ha.
He is very gamesome.

Bor.
Y'ave an ex'lent voyce;
They say you catcht it from a dying Swan,
Which joyn'd to the sweete harmony of your lute,
You ravish all mankind.

Cel.
Ravish mankind?

Bo.
With their consent.

Cel.
It were the stranger rape,
But there's the lesse inditement lies against it,
And there is hope, your little honesties
Cannot be much the worse, for men doe rather
Beleeve they had a maiden head, then put
Themselves to'th racke of memory, how long
Tis since they left the burden of their innocence.

Bo.
Why you are bitter Madam.

Cel.
So is physicke,
I doe not know your constitution.

Bo.
You shall if please you Madam.

Cel.
Y'are too hasty,
I must examine what certificate
You have, first to preferre you.

Bo.
Fine! certificate?

Cel.
Vnder your Ladies hand, and seale.

Bor.
Go to,
I see you are a wag.

Cel.
But take heede, how
You trust too't.

Bor.
I can love you in my wedlocke,
As well as that young gallant, oth first haire,
Or the knight Bachelor, and can returne
As amorous delight to thy soft bosome.

Cel.
Your person and your language are both strangers.

Bo.
But may be more familiar, I have those
That dare make affidavit for my body.

Cel.
D'ee meane your Surgeon?

Bor.
My Surgeon Madam?
I know not how you value my abilities,
But I dare undertake, as much, to expresse
My service to your Ladiship, and with
As fierce ambition, fly to your commands,
As the most valiant of these, 'lay siege to you.

Cel.
You dare not sir.

Bor.
How Madam?

Cel.
I will iustifi't.
You dare not marry me, and I imagine
Some here should I consent, would fetch a priest
Out of the fire.

Bor.
I have a wife indeede.

Cel.
And there's a statute not repeald I take it.

Bor.
Yar'e in the right I must confesse y'ave hit,
And bled me in a master veine.

Cel.
You thinke
I tooke you on the advantage, use your best
Skill at defence, Ile come up to your valour
And shew another worke you dare not doe,
You dare not sir be vertuous.

Bor.
I dare,
By this faire hand, I dare, and aske a pardon
If my rude words offend thy innocence,
Which in a forme so beautifull, would shine
To force a blush in them suspected it,
And from the rest draw wonder.

Ha.
I like not
Their secret parly, shall I interrupt em?

Is.
By no meanes sir.

Sent.
Sir Thomas was not wont
To shew so much a Courtier.

Mar.
He cannot
Be prejudiciall to you, suspect not
Your owne deserts so much, hee's married.

Bo.
I have other businesse Madam, you keepe musicke,
I came to try how you can dance.

Cel.
You did? Ile trie his humour out of breath,
Although I boast no cunning sir in revells,
If you desire to shew your art that way,
I can waite on you.

Bor.
You much honour me,
Nay all must joyne to make a harmony.

They dance.
Bor.
I have nothing now, Madam, but to beseech
After a pardon for my boldnesse, you
Would give occasion to pay my gratitude,
I have a house will be much honourd
If you vouchsafe your presence, and a wife
Desires to present her selfe your servant,
I Came with the ambition to invite you,
Deny me not, your person you shall trust
On faire securitie.

Cel.
Sir, although I use not
This freedome with a stranger, you shall have
No cause to hold me obstinate.

Bor.
You grace me
Sir William Sentlove—

Ha.
I must take my leave,
You will excuse me Madam, Court attendances—

Cel.
By any meanes.

Bor.
Ladies you will vouchsafe
Your company.

Js. M.
We waite upon you sir.

Exeunt.