University of Virginia Library

The third Act.

Enter Lord unready. Hairecut preparing his Periwigge, Table, and Looking glasse.
Lor.
What houre ist?

Ha.
Bout three'a clocke my Lord.

Bor.
Tis time to rise.

Ha.
Your Lordship went but late
To bed last night.

Lor.
Twas early in the morning.

Enter Secre.
Sec.
Expect a while, my Lord is busie?

Lor.
Whats the matter?

Sec.
Here is a Lady
Desires accesse to you upon some affaires
She saies may specially concerne your Lordship.

Lor.
A Lady? What her name?

Sec.
Madam Decoy.

Lor.
Decoy? prethee admit her.
Enter Decoy.
Have you businesse Madam
With me?

Decoy.
And such I hope as will not be
Offensive to your Lordship.

Lor.
I pray speake it.

De.
I would desire your Lordships eare more private.

Lor.
Waite i'th next chāber till I call, now Madam.

Exeunt.
De.
Although I am a stranger to your Lordship
I wo'd not lose a faire occasion offer'd,
To shew how much I honour, and would serve you.

Lor.
Please you to give me the particular


That I may know the extent of my engagement,
I am ignorant by what desert you should
Be encouragd to have care of me.

De.
My Lord,
I will take boldnesse to be plaine, beside
Your other excellent parts, you have much fame
For your sweet inclination to our sexe.

Lor.
How dee meane Madam?

Dec.
I'that way your Lordship
Hath honorably practisd upon some
Not to be nam'd, your noble constancie
To a mistresse hath deserv'd our generall vote,
And I a part of woman kind have thought
How to expresse my duty.

Lor.
In what Madam?

Dec.
Be not so strange my Lord, I know the beauty
And pleasures of your eyes, that hansome creature
With whose faire life all your delight tooke leave,
And to whose memory you have paid too much
Sad tribute.

Lor.
Whats all this?

Dec.
This, if your Lordship
Accept my service, in pure zeale to cure
Your melancholy, I could point where you might
Repaire your losse.

Lor.
Your Ladiship I conceive
Doth trafficke in flesh marchandize.

De.
To men
Of honour like your selfe, I am well knowne
To some in court, and come not with ambition
Now to supplant your officer.

Lor.
What is
The Lady of pleasure you preferre.

De.
A Lady
Of birth and fortune one upon whose vertue
I may presume, the Lady Aretina.

Lor.
Wife to sir Thomas Bornwell?

Dec.
The same sir.

Lor.
Have you prepard her?

De.
Not for your Lordship, till I have found your pulse,
I am acquainted with her disposition
She has a very appliable nature.

Lor.
And Madam when expect you to be whipt
For doing these fine favors.

De.
How my Lord?
Your Lordship does but jeast I hope, you make
A difference betweene a Lady that
Does honorable offices, and one
They call a bawd, your Lordship was not wont


To have such course opinion of our practise.

Lor.
The Lady Aretina is my kinswoman.

De.
What if she be my Lord? the nearer bloud
The dearer sympathie.

Lor.
Ile have thee carted.

De.
Your Lordship wonot so much staine your honour
And education, to use a woman
Of my qualitie.—

Lord.
—Tis possible you may
Be sent off with an honorable convoy
Of Halberdeers.

De.
Oh my good Lord!

Lor.
Your Ladiship shall be no protection
If thou but stai'st three minutes.

De.
I am gone,
When next you finde rebellion in your bloud,
May all within ten mile o'th court turne honest.

Exit.
Lor.
I doe not finde that pronenesse since the faire
Bella Maria died, my bloud is cold,
Nor is there beautie enough surviving
To highten me to wantonnesse, who waites?
And what said my Lady?

Enter Hairecut.
Ha.
The silent language of her face my Lord
Was not so pleasant, as it shewd upon
Her entrance.

Lor.
Would any man that meetes
This Lady take her for a bawde.

Ha.
She does
The trade an honor, credit to the profession,
We may in time see baldnesse, quarter noses,
And rotten legges to take the wall of footclothes.

Lor.
I ha thought better, call the Lady backe,
I wonot lose this opportunitie,
Bid her not feare, the favour is not common,
And ile reward it. I doe wonder much
Will Sentlove was not here to day.

Ha.
I heard him say this morning, he would waite
Vpon your Lordship.
She is returnd sir.

Enter Secre. and Decoy.
Sec.
Madam be confident my Lords not angry.

Bor.
You returne welcome Madam, you are better
Read in your art I hope then to be frighted
With any shape of anger, when you bring
Such newes to gentlemen, Madam you shall


Soone understand how I accept the office.

De.
You are the first Lord, since J studied carriage,
That shew'd such infidelity and fury
Vpon so kind a message, every gentleman
Will shew some breeding, but if one right honourable
Should not have noble bloud.

Lor.
You shall returne
My complement in a letter to my Lady
Aretina, favour me with a little patience,
Shew her that chamber.

De.
Ile attend your Lordship.

Ex.
Lor.
Write. Madam where your honour is in danger,
My love must not be silent.
Enter Sentlove and Kickshaw.
Sentlove and Kickshaw!

Kic.
Your Lordship's busie.

Lor.
Writing a letter, nay it shanot barre
Any discourse.

Sec.
—Silent.

Lo.
Though I be no Physitian, I may prevent a feaver in your bloud.
And where have you spent the mornings conversation?

Sent.
Where you would have given the best Barbary
In your stable to have met on honorable termes.

Lor.
What new beautie? You acquaint your selves
With none but wonders.

Sent.
Tis too low a miracle.

Lor.
Twill require a strong faith.

Secr.
Your bloud.

Lor.
If you be innocent preserve your fame least this Decoy
Madam betray it to your repentance.
By what name is she knowne?

Sent.
Aske Alexander, he knowes her?

Alex.
Whom?

Sent.
The Lady Celestina.

Lor.
He has a vast knowledge of Ladies, las poore Alexander!
When dost thou meane thy body shall lie fallow?

Al
When there is mercy in a petticote,
I must turne pilgrime for some breath.

Lor.
I thinke
Twere cooler travell if you examine it
Vpon the hoofe through Spaine.

Sent.
Through Ethiopia.

Lor.
Nay lesse laborious to serve a prentiship
In Peru, and dig gold out of the mine,
Though all the yeare were dogdayes.

Sec.
To repentance,

Lor.
In briefe, this Lady, could you fall from vertue,
Within my knowledge will not blush to be a Bawde.



Sent.
But hang't tis honorable journey worke,
Thou art famous by't, and thy name's up.

Alex.
So sir,
Let me aske you a question my deare knight,
Which is lesse servile to bring up the Pheasant,
And waite, or sit at table uncontrould
And carve to my owne appetite?

Sent.
No more,
Th'art witty, as I am—

Sec.
A bawd.

Sent.
How's that?

Al.
Oh you are famous by't, and your names up sir.

Lor.
Be wise, and reward my caution, with
Timely care of your selfe, so I shall not repent
To be knowne your lovings kinsman and servant.
Gentlemen, the Lady Celestina.
Is she so rare a thing?

Alex.
If you'le have my
Opinion my Lord, I never saw
So sweete, so faire, so rich a peece of nature.

Lor.
Ile shew thee a fairer presently, to shame
Thy eyes and judgement, looke o'that.—So Ile subscribe
Seale it, ile excuse your pen for the direction.

Al.
Bella Marias picture; she was hansome.

Sent.
But not to be compar'd.

Lor.
Your patience gentlemen ile returne instantly.

Exit.
Al.
Whither is my Lord gone?

Sec.
To a Lady i'th next Chamber.

Sen.
What is she?

Sec.
You shall pardon me, I am his Secretary.

Sen.
I was wont to be of his counsell, a new officer
And I not know't? I am resolv'd to 'batter
All other with the praise of Celestina
I must retaine him.

Enter Lord.
Lor.
Has not that object
Convinc't your erring judgements.

Al.
What this picture?

Lor.
Were but your thoughts as capable as mine
Of her Idea, you would wish no thought
That were not active in her praise, above
All worth and memory of her sexe.

Sent.
She was faire
I must confesse, but had your Lordship look'd
With eyes more narrow and some lesse affection
Vpon her face.

Alex.
I doe not love the copies


Of any dead, they make me dreame of goblins,
Give me a living mistresse, with but halfe
The beauty of Celestina, come my Lord,
Tis pitty that a Lord of so much flesh
Should waste upon a ghost, when they are living
Can give you a more honourable consumption.

Sen.
Why doe you meane my Lord to live an Infidell?
Doe, and see what will come ont, observe still
And dote upon your vigills, build a chamber
Within a rocke, a tombe, among the wormes,
Not farre off, where you may in proofe apocryphall
Court em not devoure the pretty pile.
Of flesh your mistresse carried to the grave,
There are no women in the world, all eyes
And tongue and lippes are buried in her coffin.

Lor.
Why doe you thinke your selves competent Judges.
Of beauty gentlemen?

Both.
What should hinder us?

Al.
I have seene and tried as many as another
With a mortall backe.

Lord.
Your eyes are bribd,
And your hearts chain'd to some desires, you cannot
Enjoy the freedome of a sence.

Alex.
Your Lordship
Has a cleare eyesight, and can judge and penetrate.

Lor.
I can, and give a perfect censure of
Each line and point, distinguish beautie from
A thousand formes, which your corrupted optiks
Would passe for naturall.

Sent.
I desire no other
Judge should determine us, and if your Lordship
Dare venture but your eyes upon this Lady,
Ile stand their justice, and be confident
You shall give Celestine victorie,
And triumph ors all beauties past and living.

Al.
J dare my Lord ventures a sute of clothes,
You will be orecome.

Lor.
You doe not know my fortitude

Sent.
Nor frailtie, you dare not trust you selfe to see her.

Lor.
Thinke you so gentlemen, I dare see this creature
To make you know your errors, and the difference
Of her, whose memory is my Saint, not trust
My sences? J dare, see and speake with her,


Which holds the best acquaintance to prepare
My visit to her.

Sent.
I will doo't my Lord.

Al.
Shee is a Lady free in entertainements.

Lor.
I would give this advantage to your cause,
Bid him appeare in all the ornaments
Did ever waite on beautie, all the riches
Pride can put on, and teach her face more charme
Then ever Poet drest up Venus in,
Bid her be all the graces, and the queene
Of love in one, Ile see her Sentlove, and
Bring off my heart arm'd, but single thought
Of one that is dead, without a wound, and when
I have made your follie prisoner, ile laugh at you.

Sent.
She shall expect you, trust to me for knowledge.

Lor.
I'me for the present somewhere else engagd,
Let me heare from you.

Sent.
So I am glad hee's yet
So neere conversion.

Alex.
I am for Aretina.

Sent.
No mention of my Lord.

Alex.
Prepare his Lady,
Tis time he were reduc'd to the old sport,
One Lord like him more would undoe the court.

Exit.
Enter Aretina with a letter. Decoy.
De.
He is the ornament of your bloud Madam,
I am much bound to his Lordship.

Are.
He gives you
A noble character.

De.
Tis his goodnesse Madam.

Are.
I wanted such an engine, my Lord has
Done me a curtesie to disclose her nature,
I now know one to trust, and will employ her.
Touching my Lord, for reasons, which I shall
Offer to your Ladiship hereafter, I
Desire you would be silent, but to shew
How much I dare be confident in your secrecie,
I powre my bosome forth, I love a gentleman
On whom there woo'not meet much conjuration
To meet—your eare.—

De.
I apprehend you, and I shall
Be happy to be serviceable, I am sorry
Your Ladiship did not know me before now,


I have done offices, and not a few
Of the nobilitie, but have done feates
Within my house, which is so convenient
For situation, and artfull chambers,
Such pretty pictures to provoke the fancie.

Enter Littleworth.
Lit.
Madam all pleasures languish in your absence.

Are.
Your pardon a few minutes sir—you must
Contrive it thus.

Lit.
I attend, and shall account it
Honour to waite on your returne.

Are.
He may not
Have the least knowledge of my name, or person.

De.
I have practisd that already for some great ones,
And dare agen to satisfie you Madam;
I have a thousand wayes to doe sweet offices.

Lit.
If this Lady Aretina should be honest,
I ha lost time, shee's free as aire, J must
Have closer conference, and if I have art,
Make her affect me in revenge.

De.
This evening
Leave me to manage things.

Are.
You will oblige me.

De.
You shall commend my art, and thanke me after.

Ex.
Are.
I hope the revells are maintained within.

Lit.
By sir Thomas and his Mistris.

Are.
How? his Mistris.

Lit.
The Lady Celestina, I nere saw
Eyes shoote more amorous enterchange.

Are.
Ist so?

Lit.
He weares her favor with meere pride.

Ar.
Her favor.

Lit.
A feather that he ravish'd from her fan.

Lit.
And is so full of courtship, which she smiles on.

Are.
Tis well.

Lit.
And praises her beyond all poetry.

Are.
I'me glad he has so much wit.

Lit.
Not jealous!

Are.
This secures me, what would make other Ladies pale
With jealousie, gives but a licence to my wandrings,
Let him now taxe me if he dare—and yet
Her beauti's worth my envie, and I wish
Revenge upon it, not because he loves,
But that it shines above my owne.

Enter Alex.
Al.
Deare Madam.

Are.
I have it, you two gentlemen professe
Much service to me, if I have a way


To employ your wit and secrecie.

Both.
You'le honour us.

Are.
You gave a high and worthy character
Of Celestina.

Alex.
I remember Madam.

Are.
Doe either of you love her.

Alex.
Not I Madam.

Lit.
I wod, not if I might.

Are.
Shee's now my guest,
And by a tricke invited by my husband
To disgrace me, you gentlemen are held
Wits of the towne, the Consulls that doe governe
The Senate here, whose jeeres are all authenticke,
The Tavernes and the Ordinaries are
Made academies where you come, and all
Your sinnes and surfets made times example,
Your very nods can quell a Theater,
No speech or Poem good without your seale,
You can protect scurrility, and publish
By your authority beleev'd, no rapture
Ought to have honest meaning.

Alex.
Leave our characters.

Lit.
And name the emploiment.

Are.
You must exercise
The strength of both your wits upon this Lady,
And talke her into humblenesse or anger,
Both which are equall to my thought, if you
Dare undertake this slight thing for my sake,
My favour shall reward it, but be faithfull,
And seeme to let all spring from your owne freedome.

Ale.
This all? We can defame her, if you please
My friend shall call her whore or any thing,
And never be endangerd to a duell.

Are.
How's that?

Al.
He can endure a cudgelling, and no man
Will fight after so faire a satisfaction,
But leave us to our Art, and doe not limit us.

Are.
They are here, begin not till I whisper you.

Enter sir Thomas, Celestina, Marcana, Isabella.
Ar.
Ie vous prie Madam d'excuser l'importunitè de mes affaires
Qui m'ont fait offenser, par mon absence, une dame de laquelle
I' ay receu tant d'obligation.

Cel.
Pardonnez moy Madame; vous me faictez trop d'honneur.

Are.
C'est bien de la douceur, de vostra naturel que vous tenez
Ceste language; mais j'espere que mon mary n'a pas


Manquè de vous entretenir en mon absence.

Ce.
En veritè Monsieur nous a fort obligè

Are.
Il eut trop failly, s'il n'eust tasche de tout son pouvoir
à vous rendre toutes sortes de services.

Cel.
Ces't de sa bontè qu'il nous a tant favorisè.

Ar.
De la vostre plustost Madame que vous fait donner
D'interpretation si benigne à ses efforts.

Cel.
Ie voy bien que la victoire sera toutsjours à Madame, &c de
language, & de la courtesie.

Are.
Vrayement Madame, que jamais personne a plus desirè,
L'honneur de vostre compagnie, que moy.

Cel.
Laissons en je vous supplis, des compliments & permiettoz
à vostre servante de vous baiser les mains.

Are.
Vous m'obligez trop.

Bo.
I have no more patience, lets be merry agen
In our owne language, Madam our mirth cooles,
Our Nephew!

Enter Fredericke.
Are.
Passion of my braine.

Fre.
Save you gentlemen, save you Ladies.

Are.
I am undone.

Fre.
I must salute, no matter at which end I begin.

Are.
There's a complement.

Cel.
Is this your nephew Madam?

Are.
Ie vous prie Madame d'excuser les habitz, & le rude
Comportement de mon cousin. Il est tout fraischement
Venu de l universitè, ou on l'a tout gastè.

Cel.
Excusez moy Madam, il est bien accomply.

Fre.
This language should be French, by the motions
Of your heads, and the mirth of your faces.

Are.
I am dishonor'd.

Fre.
Tis one of the finest tongues for Ladies to shew their
Teeth in, If you'le Latine I am for you, or Greeke it,
My tailor has not put me into French yet,
Mille basia, basia mille.

Cel.
Ie ne vous entende pas monsieur,
I understand you not sir.

Fre.
Why so?
You and I then shall be in charity,
For though we should be abusive, we ha the benefit
Not to understand one another: where's my Aunt?
I did heare musicke somewhere, and my braines


Tun'd with a bottle of your capering claret
Made haste to shew their dancing.

Lit.
Please you Madam,
They are very comfortable.

St.
Alas Madam
How would you have me helpe it, I did use
All meanes I could, after he heard the musicke,
To make him drunke in hope so to containe him,
But the wine made him lighter, and his head
Flew hi'ther, ere I mist his heeles.

Ale.
Nay he spoke Latine to the Lady.

Are.
Oh most unpardonable! get him off
Quickly, and discreetely, or if I live—

St.
Tis not in my power he sweares I am
An absurd sober fellow, and if you keepe
A servant in his house to crosse his humour,
When the rich sword and belt comes home, hee'le kill him.

Are.
What shall I doe? Try your skill, Master Littleworth.

Lit.
He has ne're a sword, sweet Mr. Fredericke.

Bo.
Tis pitty Madam such a syen should
Be lost, but you are clouded.

Cel.
Not I sir,
I never found my selfe more cleare at heart.

Bo.
I could play with a feather, your fan Lady,
Gentlemen, Aretina, ta ra ra ra, come Madam.

Fre.
Why my good tutor in election?
You might have beene a scholler.

Lit.
But I thanke
My friends they brought me up a little better,
Give me the towne wits, that deliver jeasts
Cleane from the bow, that whistle in the aire,
And cleave the pin at twelvescore, Ladies doe
But laugh at a gentleman that has any learning.
Tis sinne enough to have your clothes suspected,
Leave us, and I will find a time to instruct you;
Come here are sugar plumbes, tis a good Fredericke.

Fre.
Why is not this my Aunts house in the strand?
The noble Rendevous? Who laughes at me?
Go, I will root here, if I list, and talke
Of Retoricke, Logicke, Latine, Greeke, or any thing,
And understand 'em too, who sayes the contrary?
Yet in a faire way I contemne all learning,


And will be ignorant as he, or he,
Or any taffata, satten, scarlet, plush,
Tissue, or cloath, a bodkin gentleman,
Whose manners are most gloriously infected;
Did you laugh at me Lady?

Cel.
Not I sir?
But if I did shew mirth upon your question,
I hope you wod not beate me little gentleman.

Fr.
How little gentleman? you dare not say
These words to my new cloathes, and fighting sword.

Are.
Nephew Fredericke!

Fr.
Little gentleman,
This an affront both to my bloud and person,
I am a gentleman of as tall a birth
As any least nobility, though my clothes
Smell o'the lampe, my coate is honourable,
Right honourable, full, of or, and argent,
A little gentleman!

Bor.
Coze you must be patient,
My Lady meant you no dishonour, and
You must remember shee's a woman.

Fre.
Is she a woman, thats another matter,
Dee heare, my uncle tells me what you are.

Cel.
So sir.

Fr.
You cald me little gentleman.

Cel.
I did sir.

Fre.
A little pinke has made a lusty ship
Strike her topsaile, the Crow may beard the Elephant,
A whelpe may tame the Tiger, spight of all
False decks and murderers, and a little gentleman
Be hard enough to grapple with your Ladiship
Top and top gallant; will you goe drinke uncle?
Tother inchanted bottle, you and I
Will tiple, and talke phylosophy.

Bo.
Come Nephew,
You will excuse a minutes absence Madam.
Waite you on us.

St.
My duty sir.

Are.
Now gentlemen.

Ex. all but Cel. & Alex. & Little.
Alex.
Madam I had rather you accuse my language
For speaking truth, then vertue suffer in
My further silence, and it is my wonder
That you, whose noble carriage hath deserv'd
All honour, and opinion should now


Be guilty of ill manners.

Cel.
What was that
You told me sir?

Lit.
Doe you not blush Madam?
To aske that question.

Cel.
You amaze rather
My cheeke to palenesse, what you meane by this?
I am not troubled with the hickup gentlemen,
You should bestow this fright upon me.

Lit.
Then
Pride and ill memory goe together.

Cel.
How sir?

Al.
The gentleman on whom you exercise
Your thin wit, was a nephew to the Lady
Whose guest you are, and though her modesty
Looke calme on the abuse of one so neare
Her bloud, the affront was impious.

Lit.
I am asham'd on't,
You an ingenious Lady, and well mannerd?
Ile teach a Beare as much civility.

Cel.
You may be master of the Colledge sir
For ought I know.

Lit.
What Colledge? Of the Beares.

Cel.
Have you a plot upon me? Dee possesse
Your wits, or know me gentlemen.

Enter Bornewell.
Bor.
How's this?

Al.
Know you? yes we doe know you to an atome.

Li.
Madam we know, what stuffe your soule is made on.

Cel.
But doe not barke so like a mastive, pray,
Sure they are mad, let your braines stand awhile
And settle gentlemen, you know not me,
What am I?

Lit.
Tha'rt a puppet, a thing made
Of clothes and painting, and not halfe so hansome
As that which plaid Susanna in the faire.

Cel.
I heard you visited those canvas tragedies,
One of their constant audience, and so taken
With Susan, that you wishd your selfe a rivall
With the two wicked elders.

Al.
You thinke this
Is wit now, come you are—

Cel.
What I beseech you?
Your character will be full of salt and satyre,
No doubt, what am I?

Al.
Why you are a woman.

Cel.
And that's at least a bow wide of you knowledge.

Al.
Wo'd be thought hansome, and might passe i'th country
Vpon a market day, but miserably
Forfeit to pride and fashions, that if heaven


Were a new gowne, you'd not stay in't a fortnight.

Cel.
It must be miserably out of fashion then,
Have I no sinne but pride?

Al.
Hast any vertue?
Or but a good face to excuse that want?

Cel.
You prais'd it yesterday.

Al.
That made you proud.

Cel.
More pride?

Al.
You neede not to close up the praise,
I have seene a better countenance in a Sibill.

Cel.
When you wore spectacles of sacke, mistooke
The painted cloath, and kist it for your mistresse.

Al.
Let me aske you a question, how much
Have you consum'd in expectation
That I would love you.

Cel.
Why? I thinke as much
As you have paid a way in honest debts
This seven yeare, tis a pretty impudence,
But cannot make me angry.

Lit.
Is there any
Man that will cast away his limbes upon her?

Al.
You doe not sing so well as I imagind,
Nor dance, you reele in your coranto, and pinch
Your petticoate too hard, y'ave no good eare
Toth' musicke, and incline too much one shoulder,
As you were dancing on the rope, and falling,
You speake abominable French, and make
A courtsey like a Dairie maide, not mad?

Lit.
Doe we not sting her hansomely

Bor.
A conspiracie.

Al.
Your state is not so much as tis reported
When you conferre notes, all your husbands debts
And your owne reconcild—but thats not it
Will so much spoile your marriage.

Cel.
As what sir?
Let me know all my faults.

Al.
Some men doe whisper
You are not over honest.

Cel.
All this shall not
Move me to more than laughter, and some pittie,
Because you have the shapes of gentlemen,
And though you have beene insolent upon me,
I will engage no friend to kicke or cudgell you
To spoile your living, and your limbes together,
I leave that to diseases that offend you,
And spare my curse, poore silken Vermine, and
Hereafter shall distinguish Men from Monkies.



Bo.
Brave soule, you brace of horseleaches, I have heard
Their barbarous language Madam, ya're too mercifull,
They shall be silent to your tongue, pray punish e'm.

Cel.
They are things not worth my character, nor mention
Of any cleane breath, so lost in honesty
They cannot satisfie for wrongs enough,
Though they should steale out of the world at Tiburne.

Lit.
We are hang'd already.

Cel.
Yet I will talke a little to the pilchards,
You two that have not twixt you both the hundred
Part of a soule, course woollen witted fellowes,
Without a nap, with bodies made for burdens,
You that are onely stuffings for apparrell
As you were made but engines for your Taylors
To frame their clothes upon, and get them custome;
Vntill men see you moove, yet, then you dare not
Out of your guilt of being the ignobler beast
But give a horse the wall, whom you excell
Onely in dancing of the brawles, because
The horse was not taught the French way, your two faces,
One fat like Christmas, tother leane like Candlemas,
And Prologue to a Lent, both bound together
Would figure Ianus, and doe many cures
On Agues and the greene disease by frighting,
But neither can with all the characters
And conjuring circles charme a woman, though
Sha'd fourescore yeares upon her, and but one
Tooth in her head, to love, or thinke well of you;
And I were miserable, to be at cost
To court such a complexion, as your malice
Did impudently insinuate, but I waste time
And staine my breath in talking to such tadpoles.
Goe home and wash your tongues in Barly water
Drinke cleane Tobacco, be not hot i'th mouth,
And you may scape the Beadle; so I leave you
To shame and your owne garters. Sir I must
Entreate you for my honour doe not pennance em,
They are not worth your anger, how I shall
Acquit your Ladies silence.



Bo.
Madam, I
Am sorry to suspect, and dare revenge.

Cel.
No cause of mine.

Bor.
It must become me to attend you home.

Cel.
You are noble&farewell Mushroomes.

Are.
Is she gone.

Li.
I thinke we peperd her.

Al.
I am glad tis over.
But I repent no service for you Madam.
Enter servant with a letter.
To me? from whence — a lewell a good preface,
Be happy the conclusion.

Are.
Some love letter

—He smiles upont.
Lit.
He has a hundred Mistresses, you may
Be charitable Madam I ha none,
He surfets, and I fall away i'th kidnyes.

Al.
Ile meete,
Tis some great Lady questionlesse, that has
Taken notice, and would satisfie her appetite.

Are.
Now Mr. Alexander, you looke bright o'the suddaine,
Another spirit's in your eye.

Al.
Not mine Madam,
Onely a summons to meete a friend.

Ar.
What friend?

Lit.
By this Jewell, I know her not!

Ar.
Tis a she friend, Ile follow gentlemen,
We may have a game at Sant before you goe.

Al.
I shall attend you madam

Li.
Tis our duty.

Are.
I blush while I converse so with my owne thoughts,
Some strange fate governes me, but I must on,
The wayes are cast already, and we thrive
When our sinne feares no eye nor perspective.

Exit.