University of Virginia Library

Scen. 1.

Enter Albumazar, Harpax, Ronca.
Albumazar.
Come brave Mercurials sublim'd in cheating.
My deare companions, fellow-souldiers
I'th watchfull exercise of Theevery:
Shame not at your so large profession,
No more then? at deep Astrologie.
For in the dayes of old, Good morrow Thiefe,
As welcome was receiv'd, as now Your Worship.
The Spartans held it lawfull, and the Arabians,
So grew Arabia, Fœlix, Sparta valiant.

Ronc.
Read on this Lecture, wise Albumazar.

Alb.
Your Patron Mercury in his mysterious character,
Holds all the makes of the other wanderers,
And with his subtill influence works in all,
Filling their stories full of Robberies.
Most Trades and Callings much participate
Of yours; though smoothly gilt with th'honest title
Of Merchant, Lawyer, or such like: the learned
Onely excepted; and he's therefore poore.

Harp.
And yet he steals one Author from another.
This Poet is that Poets Plagiary,
And he a third's, till they end all in Homer.

Albu.
And Homer filtch't all from an Egyptian Priestesse.
The worlds a Theater of theft. Great Rivers
Rob smaller Brooks; and them the Ocean.
And in this world of ours, this Microcosme,
Guts from the stomack steale, and what they spare,
The meseraicks filch, and lay't i'the liver:
Where (least it should be found) turn'd to red Nectar,
Tis by a thousand theevish veins conveyde
And hid in flesh, nerves bones, muscles, and sinews,
In tendons, skin, and haire, so that the property
Thus altered, the theft can never be discovered.
Now all these pilfries couch't and compos'd in order,
Frame thee and me. Man's a quick masse of theevery.

Ronc.
Most Philosophicall Albumazar!

Harp.
I thought these parts had lent and borrowed mutuall.

Albu.
Say they do so: tis done with full intention
Nere to restore, and that's flat robbery.
Therefore go on, follow your vertues Lawes
Your cardnall vertue, great necessity,
Wait on her close, with all occasions.
Be watchfull, have as many eyes as Heaven,
And eares as Harvest: be resolv'd and impudent,
Beleeve none, trust none: for in this City
(As in a fought field Crowes and Carkasses)
No dwellers are but Cheaters and Cheateez.

Ronc.
If all the houses in the town were prisons,
The chambers cages, all the settles stocks,
The broad-gates gallowses, and the whole people
Justices, Juries, Constables, Keepers, and Hangmen,
Ide practise spite of all, and leave behinde me
A fruitfull Seminary of our profession,
And call them by the name Albumazarians.

Harp.
And I no lesse, were all the City theeves
As cunning as thy selfe.

Albu.
Why bravely spoken,
Fitting such generous spirits: Ile make way
To your great vertue with a deep resemblance
Of high Astrologie. Harpax and Ronca.
List to our profit: I have new lodg'd a prey
Hard by, that taken is so fat and rich
Twill make us leave off trading, and fall to purchase.

Harp.
Who is't? speak quickly.

Ron.
Where good Albumazar?

Alb.
Tis a rich Gentleman, as old as foolish.
The poore remnant of whose brain that age had left him
The doting love of a young Girle hath dried:
And which concerns us most, he gives firme credit
To Necromancie and Astrologie.
Enter Furbo.
Sending to me, as one that promise both.
Pandolfo is the man.

Har.
What old Pandolfo?

Alb.
The same: but stay, yon's Furbo whose smoothest brow
Shines with good news, and's visage promises
Triumphs and Trophies to's

Furbo playes.
Ron.
My life ha's learnt out all, I know't by's musick.

Then Furbo sings this Song.
Furb.
Albumazar.
Spread out thy nets at large, here's fowle abundance:
Pandolfo's ours, I understand his businesse
Which I filcht closely from him, while he reveal'd
This man, his purposes and projects.

Alb.
Excellent!
Thanks to this instrument: for in pretence
Of teaching yong Sulptia, th'old mans daughter,
I got accesse to th'house, and while I waited
Till she was ready, over-heard Pandolfo
Open his secrets to his servant: thus tis,
Antonio, Pandolfoes friend, and neighbour,
Before he went to Barbary, agreed
To give in marriage.

Alb.
Furbo, this no place
Fit to consider curious points of businesse,
Come let's away, Ile hear't at large above.
Ronca, stay you below, and entertain him
With a loud noise of my deep skill in Art,
Thou know'st my Rosie modesty cannot do it.
Harpax up you, and from my bed-chamber,
Where all things for our purposes are ready,
Second each beck, and nod, and word of ours.
You know my meaning.

Har.
Yes, yes.

Fur.
Yes, sir.
Furbo goes out singing,