CHAPTER SEVEN: THE ETIQUETTE OF GAMES AND SPORTS
Perfect Behavior | ||
INVITATIONS
THE whole spirit of Hallowe'en is, of course, one of "spooky" gayety and light-hearted ghastliness. Witches and ghosts run riot; corpses dance and black cats howl. "More work for the undertaker" should be the leitmotif of the evening's fun.
The moribund spirit can be delightfully observed, first of all, in the preparation of the invitations. I know of one hostess, for instance, who gained a great reputation for
Another amusing way of preparing invitations is to cut out colored paper in the shape of cats, witches, etc., upon which appropriate verses are inscribed. Such as:
You big stiff."
or
My grandmother's maiden name was Stephens."
or
If you don't look out, you funny fellow."
or
Harry says you owe him four dollars; please be prompt."
or
Why didn't you enlist and go to France,
You slacker?"
Another novel invitation is made by cutting a piece of yellow paper thirteen inches long and four inches wide, and writing on each inch one of the lines given below. Then begin at the bottom and fold the paper up, inch by inch. Fasten the last turn down with a "spooky" gummed sticker, and slip into a small envelope. When the recipient unfolds the invitation, he will be surprised to read the following:
do you suppose
is in this
little folder
keep turning
ha ha ha
further
ha ha ha
further
ha ha ha
further
ha ha ha
further
It would perhaps be best to telephone the next day to those guests whom you really want, and give them further details as to the date and time of the party. Additional fun can be
Few people realize the value of picture post-cards as indicators of the birth, breeding, and character of the sender, yet nothing so definitely "places" a person socially as his choice of these souvenirs. Could you have selected the senders of the above cards?
[Description: Drawing of several postcards. ]In spite of his haughty airs and fine clothes, the gentleman betrays that he is not much accustomed to good society when, having been asked by his hostess if he would care to remove his coat and waistcoat during the warm evening of bridge, he, in doing so, reveals the presence of several useful cards hidden about his person. This sort of thing, while often tolerated at less formal "stag" poker-parties, is seldom, ever, permissible when ladies are present. The young man was simply ignorant of the fact that Hoyle and not Herman the Great is the generally accepted authority on cards in the "beau monde."
[Description: Drawing of a man standing in front of a table at which two women are seated. He has several playing cards stuck in his suspenders. ]For those who may wish to send out more elaborate invitations, the following distinctly original plan is suggested: Procure a number of small alarm clocks and a quantity of nitroglycerine or other high explosive. Insert in each clock a small amount of the nitroglycerine, being careful not to put too much; a quantity sufficient to wreck a room 20 X 30 Will generally suffice. Then arrange the alarm mechanism so that the explosion will occur at 12 midnight. Attach to the clock a card, neatly decorated with witches, goblins, etc., on which is written
Of yawning graves and coffins dour.
Beneath your bed this clock please hide
And when it strikes—you'll be surprised."
These clocks should then be delivered in the afternoon to those of the guests whom you are merely inviting because they are your husband's business associates, or because they were nice to your mother when she did her own work. Later on, in order to avoid hard feelings on the part of relatives and friends of the deceased, it might be well to explain to them that you sent the clocks only in the spirit of Hallowe'en fun; it might even help to invite them to one of your next parties.
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE ETIQUETTE OF GAMES AND SPORTS
Perfect Behavior | ||