![]() | King Charming ; or, The Blue Bird of Paradise | ![]() |
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ACT I.
Scene First.
—Palace of King Henpeckt—King Henpeckt discovered on his throne—Chamberlain, Lords, Officers, Guards, Lord Tinsel, Ambassador from King Charming, and Suite.King.
Now say, my lord, what you have got to say.
Tin.
May it please your Majesty—
King.
We hope it may!
Tin.
From great King Charming to your Court I come—
King.
Who may King Charming be, when he's at home?
Tin.
A monarch who has long been famed in story—
No child but must have heard tell of his glory.
King.
Well, now you mention it, I think I do
Remember hearing something of him, too;
But, zounds! if he's still living, he must be
At least two hundred. Two! More likely three!
He was two hundred when I was at nurse!
Tin.
Sire, for his age, he's not a whit the worse
The fairy who presided at his birth
Endowed him with unfading youth on earth;
Time adds but to his beauty and his power—
He is as charming now as in the hour
They crowned him full two centuries ago
King.
Gad, I wish some kind fay had served me so.
Two hundred years old, and as good as new!
Cham.
Like Count St. Germain, or the Wandering Jew!
King.
Is he rich?
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Inexhaustible his treasure,
And to help others with it all his pleasure.
King.
Immortal such a king deserves to be.
Cham.
King Charming must be quite a sight to see!
Tin.
Weary of reigning centuries alone,
He now desires a partner for his throne!
And having heard you have a daughter fair,
In his great office offers her a share.
King.
The very husband for my girl I wanted!
My compliments, and I shall be enchanted.
Tin.
I hasten with these tidings to my master.
King.
Tell him to come—fast as he can—and faster!
(Exit Tinsel with his Attendants)
Here's luck! away—make every preparation,
March down a guard of honour to the station!
Set all the tailors in the kingdom stitching,
Set all the cooks a cooking in the kitchen;
Set all the bells a-ringing in the steeple;
Fling sacks of sugar-plums amongst the people;
With gooseberry wine let all the fountains run,
Hoist every flag, and fire off every gun!
In short let every one do everything
That can do honour to this Charming King!
(Exeunt Officers)
(Exit Tinsel with his Attendants)
Here's luck! away—make every preparation,
March down a guard of honour to the station!
Set all the tailors in the kingdom stitching,
Set all the cooks a cooking in the kitchen;
Set all the bells a-ringing in the steeple;
Fling sacks of sugar-plums amongst the people;
With gooseberry wine let all the fountains run,
Hoist every flag, and fire off every gun!
In short let every one do everything
That can do honour to this Charming King!
Song—King—Air—“With a bewitching mien, ah”—Rossini.
What a bewitching queen, ah!
Will be my dear Florina!
Just turned of sweet fifteen, ah!
Enchant him well she may;
I can't refrain from dancing,
With joy this happy day.
Will be my dear Florina!
Just turned of sweet fifteen, ah!
Enchant him well she may;
I can't refrain from dancing,
With joy this happy day.
Now with this news Florina's ears to bless.
Enter Usher, announcing.
Usher.
The Queen!
King.
(starting)
My wife! Zounds, here's a pretty mess!
Away by my paternal feelings carried,
I quite forgot that I again had married,
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I may say full three quarters, if not four!
She comes!
Enter Queen, attended by Ladies.
Queen.
My love!
King.
My angel! (aside)
Oh, the devil!
There's mischief brewing when she is so civil.
Queen.
You've given an audience?
King.
Yes, my darling—no—
That is—I just—saw somebody—who—
Queen
(to Attendants)
Go.
We would be private.
(Exeunt Attendants)
King.
(aside)
Now the storm begins—
I've scarcely strength to stand upon my pins.
Queen.
You are a lucky man.
King.
I am, my life!
In having such a woman for my wife!
Queen.
Of course! but that is not what now I mean.
King.
In what else am I fortunate, sweet queen?
Queen.
In chancing from Dame Fortune's wheel to draw
So great a prize as this rich son-in-law
That is to be—if all is true I hear.
King.
Ah! you have heard, my love.
Queen.
I have, my dear!
King.
And you approve, I trust, or else—oh, never—
Queen.
Don't be alarmed, I do!
King.
(aside)
Well, if I ever!
(aloud)
You do?
Queen.
Completely.
King.
(aside)
Can I trust my ears?
(aloud)
Oh, rapture! I confess I had some fears.
Queen.
And well you might. Act of your own accord!
Decide without my sanction! 'pon my word!
King.
I only ventured—just to give permission!
Queen.
Just!
King.
It was wrong, I own—let my contrition—
Queen.
Enough! but don't let this occur again.
King.
It shan't—it can't—and if you entertain
The least objection to this match—
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Depend on't,
That if I did, there soon would be an end on't.
But you are also fortunate in this—
I should be sorry such a chance to miss.
Such kings of trumps don't turn up every day,
So win the trick with this one, whilst you may.
King.
Florina, I am sure, will quite adore him!
Queen.
Florina! no, I'll no Florinas for him.
King.
No Flo—odso! I don't quite understand—
Queen.
Charming proposes for your daughter's hand!
King.
Exactly!
Queen.
Well, he has our joint consent.
King.
Then why to wed Florina him prevent?
Queen.
Have you no other daughter, sir, I pray?
King.
Not that I recollect, love, I must say.
Queen.
Had I no daughter when you married me?
King.
You? Certainly—yes, you had—ah, I see—
You mean your daughter by your former spouse?
Queen.
What's mine is yours—or what are marriage vows?
And as our elder child, I mean Troutina
To be provided for before Florina.
King.
(aside)
Confound it! here's of work a pretty spot!
Just as you please, of course, but—
Queen.
But—but what?
King.
Suppose King Charming should not quite agree
To this arrangement!
Queen.
You'll leave that to me.
King.
Oh, with the greatest pleasure. (aside)
There's no doubt of it,
I shall be glad to see myself safe out of it.
(aloud)
But is Princess Troutina now at Court?
Queen.
I sent for her upon the first report.
The Fairy Soussio, her godmamma,
Will send her hither in her magic car;
Dressed in such style, adorned with so much splendour,
King Charming's heart must instantly surrender!
King.
Then we must keep Florina out of sight.
Queen.
I think 'twill be as well to do so—quite.
(bells ring—guns fire)
King.
Hark! by those sounds, King Charming must be near!
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Then where's my child? Troutina! Ah, she's here!
Enter Troutina.
Come to thy mother's arms!
Trout.
Oh don't, mamma—
You'll spoil my dress!
King.
(aside)
Ye gods! to be papa,
Even step-papa, to such an ugly thing!
Queen.
(admiring Troutina's dress)
Superb! magnificent! what say you, King?
It puts one's eyes out, almost, to look at her!
King.
(aside)
I almost wish it would do, for that matter,
For then one shouldn't see her any more!
(aside)
There never was seen such a (aside)
fright (aloud)
before.
Queen.
Charming, completely dazzled you will find!
King.
(aside)
There's no chance, if he's not completely blind.
(flourish)
That flourish! he is entering the gates.
Queen.
Come, my Troutina—let us take our states!
March—The Court re-enter—The King, Queen, and Troutina place themselves—Enter Charming, attended.
King.
Welcome, King Charming, to our Court and arms!
(they embrace)
My Queen! (presenting him to her)
Queen.
My daughter! (presenting her to him)
Charm.
(starting)
Heavens! (aside)
Are these the charms
I heard so vaunted?
Queen.
(aside)
Struck—just as I said!
King.
(aside)
Struck! he looks knocked completely on the head!
Charm.
Impossible!
Queen.
That maid should be so fair!
Charm.
Madam, the lady's feelings I would spare;
But have you not another daughter?
Queen.
Sir!
None that can be at all compared to her.
King.
Certainly not!
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I'm a bad hand at riddles—
But if I've not been told great tarradiddles
There is another princess called Florina—
And if I'm not mistaken, I have seen her.
Queen.
Seen her! when—where, sir?
Charm.
Here—'tis scarce a minute,
Passing yon tower, at a window in it,
I caught a glimpse of a bewitching face,
Exactly like the picture in this case.
(shews miniature)
King.
In this case! oh, in that case!
Queen.
Hold your tongue!
(to Charming)
Oh, a mere child—a simple-witted, young,
Untutored thing—she won't be out for years.
Charm.
(aside)
Not if you can prevent it, it appears.
(aloud)
Mere child or not, her eyes my heart went through.
Queen.
'Twas distance lent enchantment to the view.
Charm.
Let then a nearer sight dissolve the spell,
Or to your Majesties, at once, farewell.
King.
(to Queen)
My darling!
Queen.
Peace! (aside)
We must not lose him so.
Trout.
Oh, ma, the gentleman is going to go!
Queen.
Be not so hasty, Prince! if you desire
To see the girl you think you should admire,
See her you shall, with all my heart, I'm sure;
Of your delusion it may work the cure.
Run, one of you—bring hither the Princess
Florina—say she needn't stop to dress!
Let her come in her morning frock and pinafore.
(Exit Page)
A garb, no doubt, you've seen young ladies in afore.
Charm.
It matters not how pretty girls are drest—
“Beauty when unadorned”—you know the rest.
Re-enter Page with Florina.
Page.
Princess Florina!
Charm.
Ah, that smile so sweet,
Completes my conquest! Fairest, at thy feet,
King Charming tenders thee his tender heart,
If you have no objection to the part.
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None in the least, if it's well stuffed with love;
I should prefer it, everything above.
Charm.
Delicious candour!
Queen.
Oh, the shameless minx!
She says, I do believe, just what she thinks!
Flor.
I always do. I'm sorry, good stepmother,
But I can't think one thing and say another.
Queen.
You hear, sir, she's not fit to come to Court.
King.
(aside)
In some, at all events, she'd make rare sport!
Charm.
Oh, pardon me—to beauty and to youth,
She adds the priceless quality of truth!
Without more ceremony, I demand
In marriage this enchanting maiden's hand.
Trout.
Oh, ma!
King.
(aside to Queen)
We can't refuse.
Queen.
Silence! (to Charming)
Great sir,
This matter to our council we refer.
So grave a step demands some consultation.
Charm.
Nothing can alter my determination!
I'm fixed as fate—if you've objections state 'em,
But I'm her mate, and that's my ultimatum!
Air—Morceau d'Ensemble—“St. Petersburgh Polka.”
Queen.
We by our council must be guided,
Always by them we are decided.
Always by them we are decided.
King.
(aside)
Always, that is to say, provided,
They to her own opinion bow.
They to her own opinion bow.
Charm.
You can proceed to consultation,
I but consult my inclination;
Love, I have in, to desperation,
Tumbled I scarce know how!
I but consult my inclination;
Love, I have in, to desperation,
Tumbled I scarce know how!
Flor. and Trout.
I've in his favour quite decided,
Into my heart at once love glided.
Prince so enchanting never I did,
E'en in a picture see till now!
Into my heart at once love glided.
Prince so enchanting never I did,
E'en in a picture see till now!
Queen.
We by our council, &c.
King and Nobles.
Always, that is to say, &c.
(Exeunt King, Queen, Troutina, Florina, and Suite)
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My pretty page, look out, sharp as a needle,
And try if that soft tongue of thine can wheedle
Florina's lady's maid just to connive at,
My saying two words to my love in private.
Page.
Your Majesty shall have no cause for grief—
Sure as I am your page, I'll get her leaf.
(Exit)
Charm.
My heart's on fire—not all the Fire Brigade would
Subdue the flames, though led by Mr. Braidwood!
All opposition makes the blaze the greater,
It would put out the Fire Annihilator.
Air—“Vaga Luna” or “Katty Darling.”
Subdue the flames, though led by Mr. Braidwood!
All opposition makes the blaze the greater,
It would put out the Fire Annihilator.
O Florina, my dear, my duck, my darling,
I for love could go swing upon a tree,
And spite of your stepmother's cruel snarling,
I'm a bride-“groom in waiting” for thee.
The sun will soon be setting,
And the stars wink at our flight.
Then haste and bolt the moon, pretty darling,
Ere morning with your own true knight.
I for love could go swing upon a tree,
And spite of your stepmother's cruel snarling,
I'm a bride-“groom in waiting” for thee.
The sun will soon be setting,
And the stars wink at our flight.
Then haste and bolt the moon, pretty darling,
Ere morning with your own true knight.
Re-enter Page.
Charm.
Now, what success?
Page.
You couldn't wish for better—
I've made the lady's maid for life your debtor.
As soon as ever it is dark to-night,
She'll bring the Princess down, without a light,
To a small window on the parlour floor.
Charm.
See, at a window, her whom I adore?
Oh, I could dance like twenty Taglioni's!
Gallop apace ye fiery-footed ponies,
Towards the west end of the town, and pitch
Bright Phœbus into night's profoundest ditch!
Turn day as black as Day and Martin's jet,
Whilst I play Romeo to this Juliet!
(Exeunt)
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Scene Second.
—Garden of the Palace—Night—On one side a Tower, with a postern door, and practicable window on lower floor.Enter Queen.
Queen.
So! I am first at the appointed spot—
Florina's maid has told me all the plot.
A fortunate occurrence, which enables
Me on King Charming just to turn the tables!
He shall a lady at this window find,
But not the one to whom he has a mind.
At match making 'tis hard if I can't match him,
And in his own trap cleverly I'll catch him.
Air—“When the heart of a man.”
Florina's maid has told me all the plot.
A fortunate occurrence, which enables
Me on King Charming just to turn the tables!
He shall a lady at this window find,
But not the one to whom he has a mind.
At match making 'tis hard if I can't match him,
And in his own trap cleverly I'll catch him.
For the heart of the man
Not a fig I care,
But his crown I'm determined
My girl shall share!
By this trick we shall diddle him neatly, neatly,
Catching him in his own charming snare.
He to Florina must needs propose;
At my Troutina turns up his nose.
Like to her I'll dress her,—
He'll press her, caress her,
And off to the parson with him she goes, &c.
Not a fig I care,
But his crown I'm determined
My girl shall share!
By this trick we shall diddle him neatly, neatly,
Catching him in his own charming snare.
He to Florina must needs propose;
At my Troutina turns up his nose.
Like to her I'll dress her,—
He'll press her, caress her,
And off to the parson with him she goes, &c.
The Queen goes into tower.
Enter King Charming.
Charm.
He jests at scars who never felt a wound—
I hope there's no spring gun set in this ground!
Queen.
(aside at the window)
Only a man-trap, to catch garden rakes!
(places Troutina at window, muffled up in a veil, and then disappears)
Charm.
But soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
Where there's no light. It is the eastern quarter,
Florina is the sun, or rather, daughter!
Who takes the shine out of all suns and moons!
It is the lady upon whom I'm spoons!
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'Tis she—though muffled to the very nose!
Fairest Florina!
Trout.
Hem!
Charm.
She “hems.” 'Tis plain!
Signal of love—bright angel, “hem” again.
Trout.
Ahem!
Charm.
The family she fears alarming!
Trout.
Oh, Charming, Charming! why are you so charming?
Charm.
Shall I hear more—or shall I speak at this?
Trout.
Who's there?
Charm.
A man! Oh, think it not amiss,
That I have found you out by love's direction,
To give you this small proof of my affection.
Trout.
A ring!
Charm.
Oh, let me on your finger place it!
This opportunity, why not embrace it?
I have a magic brougham here hard by,
Will waft us anywhere you choose to fly.
It was a present from a necromancer,
A friend of mine. Oblige me with an answer;
Or let me take your silence for consent.
Trout.
Ahem! well, if to love me you are bent,
'Pon honour—and your purpose really marriage—
Suppose you do just order round the carriage.
Charm.
In half a minute I will drive it smack up,
So haste if you have anything to pack up!
Trout.
I have packed up!
(throws out a bundle)
Charm.
Oh, flattering foresight! see!
Her bundle made to bundle off with me!
What, ho! my posters of the sky and land!
Music—A car appears drawn by Flying Frogs.
Now in my lovely Princess let me hand!
(assists Troutina out of the window into the car, and gets in himself)
Home, to the Fan-sea Isles!
Trout.
Stop! I would call,
First on my godmother, at Silver Hall.
Charm.
Where'er you please, make but the least allusion,
My fairy frogs will leap to the conclusion.
(music—Exeunt in car)
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Scene Third.
—Abode of the Fairy Soussio—The Fairy is discovered reclining on an ottoman.Sous.
(rising)
I have been looking in the crystal ball
That hangs up yonder in my magic hall;
And in it I can see—nothing at all!
So I suppose nothing will come to pass,
Unless some bottle imp has spoiled the glass.
(bell rings)
Heyday! who rings so late the visitors' bell?
My god-daughter, returned with some young swell!
Enter Troutina and King Charming.
Why, child, what brings thee back to me so soon?
Art wed, and come to spend the honeymoon?
Trout.
Not married yet, but soon I hope to be!
(unveils)
Charm.
(starting)
Murder in Irish! what is this I see?
Trout.
Troutina, your affianced wife.
Charm.
My wife!
Trout.
Haven't you sworn you loved me more than life?
Charm.
Oh, horror! I'm the victim of some treason!
Trout.
Didn't you go to me your bended knees on;
And begged me not to let you hopeless linger,
And put this ring upon my wedding finger!
Charm.
I'm struck all of a heap, as if by thunder!
I've made a most abominable blunder.
A wife like this I could not live a day with!
She's one to run away from, not away with!
Hence let me fly!
Sous.
(touching him with wand)
All in good time, young master.
You seem a fast man, but I'll make you faster.
Charm.
(immovable)
My two King's feet to two Queen's heads are turned;
And but to make adhesive stamps have learned!
My boots have surely gutta-percha soles!
My stockings feel as if they had fallen in holes.
My legs, for the first time on earth, are sticks!
Sous.
So slippery a swain 'tis hard to fix—
But in a fix I think we have you now;
My gay Lothario, I'll teach you how,
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And then desert her, à la Don Giovanni!
This is my god-child; off you've dared to carry her,
And you shall keep your promise, sir, and marry her.
Charm.
I marry one who, not to mince the matter,
Gives you the uglies even to look at her!
Never!
Sous.
Refuse my pet in this rude fashion!
Take care you do not put me in a passion—
Or I may put you into such a pickle,
That you'll be cured for life of being fickle!
Charm.
Fickle! I scorn your words, imperious Fairy!
I'm so far from it—I'm quite the contrary!
Florina is my love! with her alone
Will constant Charming share his heart and throne.
Sous.
If like a man you will not keep your word,
For seven long years I'll change you to a bird.
Charm.
With all my heart!
Trout.
With jealousy I burst!
Sous.
Then tremble!
Charm.
I defy you—do your worst!
Trio—Soussio, Troutina, Charming—“Norma.”
Sous.
O fie for shame, you naughty man!
How could you so deceive her!
Have sure the face you never can,
Thus in the dumps to go and leave her.
How could you so deceive her!
Have sure the face you never can,
Thus in the dumps to go and leave her.
Trout.
Did you not vow you'd marry me?
From my mamma me stealing!
I by your double dealing
Shuffled and cut must be!
From my mamma me stealing!
I by your double dealing
Shuffled and cut must be!
Charm.
Nor ma nor pa would I distress,
By stealing such as her there,
So far I've seen her I confess,
But e'er I wed I'll see her further.
Hers is alone the fault and no
Promise to her I'm breaking,
I in the dark mistaking.
Shot at a pigeon and killed a crow.
By stealing such as her there,
So far I've seen her I confess,
But e'er I wed I'll see her further.
Hers is alone the fault and no
Promise to her I'm breaking,
I in the dark mistaking.
Shot at a pigeon and killed a crow.
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Thou shalt feel my power so mighty!
Deeply rue thy broken word!
Seven long years, since thou'rt so flighty,
Shalt thou fly, indeed, a bird!
Over mountain, over wave,
A bird of Paradise all blue,
Like a king till you behave
All dickey it shall be with you!
Deeply rue thy broken word!
Seven long years, since thou'rt so flighty,
Shalt thou fly, indeed, a bird!
Over mountain, over wave,
A bird of Paradise all blue,
Like a king till you behave
All dickey it shall be with you!
(touches Charming with her wand—he falls senseless on the ottoman, which sinks, as a golden cage rises, and in the place of Charming, is seen a Blue Bird— Tableau—Bird flies out of cage—Scene closes in)
Scene Fourth.
—Chamber in the Tower—Window in centre doors right and left—A curtain covering a recess on one side.Enter Queen with a paper.
Queen.
“Elopement in High Life.” Yes, here's the article,
Of which I have concocted every particle,
And had inserted in a late edition,
Of our “Court Journal.” This without suspicion.
Florina will be sure to read—and then
Burst out into abuse of all young men,
Particularly Charming—tear her hair—
Sing “Crazy Jane”—and rising in despair,
Send for some poison to the 'potecary,
Or fling herself headlong into the area!
She comes! I'll place the paper where she'll find it,
And listen. Ah, this curtain—I'll behind it.
(places paper on table, and hides behind the curtain)
Enter Florina.
Flor.
My bosom's lord sits lightly on its throne—
King Charming soon will claim me for his own!
And in Fan-sea we shall enjoy, no doubt,
A life of linkèd sweetness, long drawn out!
I wonder, though, I hear no news from Court.
Ah, here's the Journal, which may some report.
106
Elopement in High Life.” What meets my vision?
“Last night, between the hours of seven and eight,
Princess Troutina, near the garden gate,
Was with King Charming in a carriage seen,
Starting upon the road to Gretna Green;
The pace they drove at, all pursuit defied,—
And we've just heard the nuptial knot is tied.”
The nuptial knot! Oh, no! it cannot be!
Marry Troutina—and engaged to me!
Impossible! and yet the heading read—
“From our own Correspondent.” Then, indeed,
It must be true! To doubt it none would dare!
Time has no chloroform for my despair;
I will not live to be of Cupid thought a butt,
But fling myself at once into the water-butt!
Queen.
(aside)
I'll haste and see there's enough water in it—
I would not have thee linger half a minute.
(Exit)
Air—Florina—“The Cavalier.”
What a pitiful plight!
It serves me right,—
But a very base trick I've been play'd,
That a cavalier
Of his rank should e'er
A lady have so betrayed!
With softest sawder every chord
Of my tender heart touched he,
And o'er and o'er by Jingo swore,
“Sweet maid, I'll wed but thee,”
Sweet maid, &c.
It serves me right,—
But a very base trick I've been play'd,
That a cavalier
Of his rank should e'er
A lady have so betrayed!
With softest sawder every chord
Of my tender heart touched he,
And o'er and o'er by Jingo swore,
“Sweet maid, I'll wed but thee,”
Sweet maid, &c.
He turned his eye
On my rival sly—
When his promise had raised my hopes!
With amazement I see,
Though he vowed to wed me,
With somebody else he elopes.
Off he has cut, and the water butt,
Now my bridal bed must be!
There's an end of our loves,
Wedding cake and white gloves,
He's off and it isn't with me!
White gloves! white gloves!
Nobody will wear for me!
On my rival sly—
When his promise had raised my hopes!
With amazement I see,
Though he vowed to wed me,
With somebody else he elopes.
Off he has cut, and the water butt,
Now my bridal bed must be!
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Wedding cake and white gloves,
He's off and it isn't with me!
White gloves! white gloves!
Nobody will wear for me!
The Blue Bird appears at the window.
Bird.
Florina!
(this is spoken by Charming)
Flor.
Ah! who breathes that wretched name?
Methought the sound in at the window came!
Bird.
Florina!
Flor.
There, again my name I heard!
Who calls?
Bird.
'Tis I!
Flor.
A beautiful blue bird!
Bird.
I would I were thy bird!
Flor.
Sweet, so would I!
But it's no use, because I'm going to die.
Bird.
To die! you wouldn't think of such a thing!
Flor.
Oh, wouldn't you, if you'd lost such a king
As I have?
Bird.
Nay, take comfort, gentle maid!
Your King's not lost—he only is mislaid;
And if he hears himself thus sweetly cried,
It won't be long before he's at your side.
Flor.
Oh, comfortable bird, can this be so?
Bird.
Does not my voice, then, fair Florina know?
Flor.
Your voice!—good gracious! no, it never can!—
Bird.
Yes, I'm that poor, unhappy little man!
Condemned for seven long years, and in all weathers,
To hop about in this blue suit of feathers.
Flor.
By whom and why this metamorphose strange?
Bird.
A fairy changed me, 'cause I wouldn't change.
Flor.
But did you not elope, then, with Troutina?
Bird.
I took her, by mistake, for you, Florina!
And never from my love's own colours flew—
As man or bird, you'll find me still “true blue.”
Duet—“Over the hills and far away”—“Beggar's Opera.”
Charm.
Were I perched on Greenland's coast,
And blue with cold my talons' tips,
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If chirrup'd to by those sweet lips.
Flor.
Should some Indian juggler turn
Me into a bird as well;
Not the least 'twould me concern.
If with my Charming I might dwell.
Charm.
And I your nest would feather, too,
Flor.
Every day we'd bill and coo!
Charm.
And I would fondly fly with you,
Over the hills till all was blue!
Flor.
Sweet bird, to thee I pledge my virgin troth.
Bird.
May I be made into blue chicken broth,
If ever I on other hand alight!
Flor.
But we must keep a look out very bright!
For should the Queen find out that such the trick is,
She'll wring your neck like any common dicky's!
Bird.
In the dark cypress grove, across the green,
Lodgings to let for single birds I've seen;
I'll take apartments, furnished, in some tree,
From whence this dear old window I can see;
And when the coast is clear of the community,
I'll hop to you at every hop-portunity.
Flor.
And what shall be the signal?
Bird.
Just one verse
Of this old song—I learned it from my nurse.
Air—Charming—“Lady bird, lady bird, fly away home.”
Pretty bird, pretty bird, blue as the sky,
The sun has gone down in the west.
Then hither to solace your lady-love fly,
And sing her the song she loves best.
Pretty bird, pretty bird, blue as the sky,
Here to thy lady-love, pretty bird, fly.
Flor.
Hark! some one comes! away—away, my poppet!
Bird.
Fear nothing! long ere they can twig, I'll hop it!
109
Queen.
(aside)
I haven't heard a tumble, or a squall,
I hope her heart's not failed her, after all.
Flor.
Who's there?
Queen.
The Queen!
Flor.
My royal step-mamma.
Madam, your most obedient!
Queen.
(aside)
Smiling—ah!
What may this mean? has Fate cut some new caper
To foil my vengeance? (aloud)
I sent you the paper.
Flor.
Your Majesty's too kind!
Queen.
Important news!
Flor.
Important, ma'am, if true—the doubt excuse.
Queen.
Talk'st thou to me of “ifs?” with proof in print!
Flor.
A printer's proof, that may have errors in't!
When 'tis revised, I'll read it, ma'am, again!
Queen.
The tidings surely must have turned her brain,
Or else this impudence too far is carried.
Dare you deny my daughter's gone and married?
Flor.
Gone, she may be—but married, I think not,
Queen.
Wretch! on her honour wouldst thou cast a blot?
Flor.
No—on my honour, but I've heard—
Queen.
You've heard
What? who could tell you?
Flor.
Oh, a little bird,
As people say!
Queen.
(aside)
So cool and so contented!
She something knows beyond what I've invented.
(aloud)
What have you heard? Speak, ere my patience fails.
Flor.
I won't tell stories, and I don't tell tales;
I should regret your Majesty to grieve,
Therefore respectfully I take my leave.
(curtseys to Queen, and exit)
Queen.
'Tis well! but for this conduct she shall smart!
I'll break her spirit, or I'll break her heart!
Oh, were she not the pet of all the people,
I'd have her hanged as high as the church steeple,
Or smothered, as King Richard did the babbies—
But heir presumptive to the throne the drab is!
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Is she with some disastrous fact acquainted?
Or does she only hope? I must make certain,
So by your leave again, convenient curtain!
(conceals herself behind curtain)
Florina peeps in, and then re-enters.
Flor.
She's gone! now once again my heart rejoice,
Bluest of birds! Oh, for a falconer's voice
To lure this tassel gentle back again—
Quick let me warble forth the signal strain!
(sings)
Bluest of birds! Oh, for a falconer's voice
To lure this tassel gentle back again—
Quick let me warble forth the signal strain!
Pretty bird, pretty bird, blue as the sky,
Here to thy lady-love, pretty bird, fly.
Here to thy lady-love, pretty bird, fly.
Queen.
(aside)
What's that about some bird the creature sings?
Flor.
I hear the flutter of his pretty wings,
He comes!
Blue Bird appears at window, with a pair of diamond bracelets in his beak.
Bird.
My love!
Flor.
My life—my dicky darling!
Queen.
(aside)
A talking bird! a parrot or a starling?
No, 'tis a bird of Paradise I view,
That somebody has shot with powder blue.
Flor.
Where hast thou been?
Bird.
Home to my palace, where
I picked out for my love this matchless pair
Of bracelets—wear them for my sake!
Flor.
I will!
Bird.
They're a free gift, though brought in with a bill.
Queen.
(aside)
That bird's a thief! Who'd make so bad a pun
Would pick a pocket, and that's what he's done;
He never came by those fine bracelets fairly.
Oh, won't I have his toby tickled rarely!
Flor.
And have you settled where you mean to stop?
Bird.
Yes, I have got a snug room at the top
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A sort of first-floor parlour next the sky;
Up twenty pair of boughs—but very airy.
The last who lived there was a wild canary!
And from it I've the finest bird's-eye view
Imaginable—for it is of you.
Flor.
Oh, I'm afraid my pretty dicky flatters!
Queen.
(aside)
Faster than forty magpies the fool chatters!
From this tell-tale tom-tit she's gained her knowledge!
I'll have him plucked worse than a goose at college,
And roasted all alive for my own eating.
(Exit)
Bird.
And now to roost I find I must be fleeting.
Flor.
Wilt thou begone! It is not yet near day.
Bird.
I'm very sorry, but I cannot stay.
Such late hours do not suit my sort of fowl,
I would, for thy sake, I had been an owl!
But in five minutes, I'll lay you an egg,
I shall be fast asleep upon one leg!
Flor.
Well, then, farewell, love, since it so must be;
To-morrow, early, I will call for thee!
Good-night, good-night—a thousand times good-night
Bird.
A thousand times the worse, to want thy light.
(flies off)
Flor.
Ah, me, I have an ill, divining soul!
Methinks I see him scratch a bleeding pole!
Either my eyesight failed, or, as he flew,
He looked, alas! particularly blue.
Air—Florina—“My own Blue Bell.”
Methinks I see him scratch a bleeding pole!
Either my eyesight failed, or, as he flew,
He looked, alas! particularly blue.
My own Blue Bird, my pretty Blue Bird,
I hope you will be as good as your word;
Your plumes I view of a fine true blue,
And why should I doubt that your heart's so too.
I fear I must own, now away that you've flown,
The people about here won't let you alone;
They'll come with a gun, and shoot you for fun,
Then out of my dicky-bird I shall be done;
My own Blue Bird—my pretty Blue Bird, &c.
I hope you will be as good as your word;
Your plumes I view of a fine true blue,
And why should I doubt that your heart's so too.
I fear I must own, now away that you've flown,
The people about here won't let you alone;
They'll come with a gun, and shoot you for fun,
Then out of my dicky-bird I shall be done;
My own Blue Bird—my pretty Blue Bird, &c.
112
Scene Fifth.
—The Cypress Grove.Enter Queen, Troutina, and Page.
Queen.
Rejected, scorned! I can't believe my senses!
Trout.
And for Florina! that the worst offence is!
Queen.
But what to all this said your fairy godmother?
Trout.
Oh, she in pickle had for him a rod, mother!
And for seven years, at least, his crime he'll rue.
She changed him to a bird!
Queen.
A bird!—not blue?
Trout.
Yes—blue as Blue Beard's beard, with blue ink dyed,
Or the blue chamber his wife peeped inside!
Queen.
Troutina, thou hast harped my fears aright,
And on this Blue Bird thrown a clear blue light!
But let me take advantage of the time.
Here, you young varlet—up that cypress climb;
And in the nest you'll find quite at the top,
This hundred-bladed penknife open pop;
(gives knife)
So that upon the points the bird must fly
Who enters it! up, quickly, sirrah! hie!
(Page mounts tree with knife, and descends again quickly)
Trout.
What, is the traitor here, then, to be stuck?
Queen.
Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck,
Till thou applaud the deed—just quiet be
Till daybreak, and you'll see what you will see!
Thou marvel'st at my words, but hold thee still,
For this blue bird fate makes a blue steel pill!
(Exeunt Queen, Troutina, and Page)
Music—The Blue Bird flies in and enters the cypress tree.
Bird.
Oh, murder! (falls on the stage)
Some kind friend a surgeon run for!
I'm the new lodger taken in, and done for!
Music—Hocus-Pocus rises.
Hocus.
Where is this rash and most unfortunate man,
That was King Charming, ere he crazy ran
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Traced to a miss the cause of his mishap!
Ah, here he lies, and wounded very badly,
By cruel blades he has been cut up sadly;
His wings are clipped, his legs are amputated,
His merry thought by falling, dislocated!
His gizzard stabbed in half-a-dozen places;
This of fowl murder very near a case is;
But I'm a doctor in the sable art,
And with one black dose succour can impart.
Ho, Sal Volatile, with all thy scents,
Help me to bring him to, and take him hence.
Sal Volatile and other Spirits appear.
Soon we'll this silly bird again a man see!
Hey, presto, pass! To his own realm of Fan-sea!
Hocus Pocus waves his wand, and the scene gradually changes to the Fan-sea Islands—A fairy boat appears, into which Hocus Pocus enters, bearing Blue Bird—Dance of Spirits, and Tableau.
END OF ACT FIRST.
![]() | King Charming ; or, The Blue Bird of Paradise | ![]() |