Songs and Verses Social and Scientific: By An old contributor to Maga [i.e. Charles Neaves]: Fourth Edition, Enlarged |
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THE LEATHER BOTTÈL.
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THE LEATHER BOTTÈL.
A DARWINIAN DITTY.
“The most ancient progenitors in the kingdom of the Vertebrata, at which we are able to obtain an obscure glance, apparently consisted of a group of marine animals, resembling the larvæ of existing Ascidians.
“These animals probably gave rise to a group of fishes, . . . these to the Simiadæ. The Simiadæ then branched off into two great stems, the New World and Old World monkeys; and from the latter, at a remote period, Man, the wonder and glory of the universe, proceeded. Thus we have given to man a pedigree of prodigious length, but not, it may be said, of noble quality.”—The Descent of Man, and Selection in relation to Sex. By Charles Darwin, M.A. F.R.S., &c.; vol. i. p. 212, 213.
“Tunicata.—This class includes a class of animals not at all familiarly known, and mostly of small size. They are often called Ascidians (Gr. askos, a wine-skin), from the resemblance which many of them exhibit in shape to a two-necked jar or bottle (see fig.)—The two orifices in the outer leathery case or ‘test’ of the Tunicata lead into the interior of the animal, and are used for the admission and expulsion of sea-water; and by their means the animal both breathes and obtains food.” —Introductory Text-Book of Zoology. By H. Alleyne Nicholson, M.D., &c.
Of which we can't the reason see!
And this is one, I used to think,
That most men like a drop of drink.
But here comes Darwin with his plan,
And shows the true Descent of Man:
And that explains it all full well,
For man-was-once—a leather bottèl!
That Naturalists Ascidia call;
Who, being just a bag-like skin,
Subsist on water pouring in:
And these you'll find, if you will seek,
Derive their name from Heathen Greek;
For Scott and Scapula show full well
That As-kos-means—a leather bottèl.
That, endless ages ere the Flood,
The Coming Man's primeval form
Was simply an Ascidian worm:
And having then the habit got
Of passing liquor down his throat,
He keeps it still, and shows full well
That Man-was-once—a leather bottèl.
Athenian peasants beat the ground;
And danced and leapt to ease their toil,
'Mid leather bottles smeared with oil:
From which they slid with broad grimace,
And falling, filled with mirth the place:
And so they owned and honoured well
Their great-grand-sire—the leather bottèl.
Of wine, or grog, or beer, his fill;
And, as he doth but little eat,
It serves him both for drink and meat:
Or blame this pure Ascidian taste:
For Darwin's theory shows full well,
The to-per-is—a leather bottèl.
To give five reasons we should drink:
“Good wine, a friend, or being dry,
Or lest we should be by-and-by:”
Then adds the fifth in humorous sport,
As “any other reason” for't:
But all his reasoning shows full well,
The Dean-was-just—a leather bottèl!
Don't say, we should not drink a drop;
But water, milk, or eau sucrée,
We're free to tipple all the day:
Sam Johnson's self, as you may see,
Drank many myriad cups of tea:
That man's-at-best—a leather bottèl.
The plants, too, drink the moistened plain:
“The sea itself, which, one would think,
Should have but little need for drink,
Drinks twice ten thousand rivers up;”
While beasts and fishes share the cup:
The Sun, too, drinks, the Moon as well;
So Na-ture's-all—a leather bottèl.
When asked at times to wet his clay:
And I for one would drink his health,
And wish him sense and wit and wealth;
And if good liquor he doth brew,
I'll drink to old Erasmus too:
And gladly join to show full well
That man-is-still—a leather bottèl.
Dean Aldrich's well-known Catch,
There are five reasons we should drink,”
is a translation of the following Latin lines, which Father Sirmond, the Jesuit, “quoique fort sobre,” delighted to repeat:— “Si bene commemini causæ sunt quinque bibendi;
Hospitis adventus; præsens sitis; atque futura;
Et vini bonitas; et quælibet altera causa.”
Erasmus Darwin, mentioned in the last verse, was, we believe, the grandfather of the present distinguished Naturalist. The germ of the “Darwinian theory” is, we consider, much more certainly to be found in the Doctor's posthumous poem of the Temple of Nature, than the origin of man in the Ascidian larva, or leather bottèl.
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