Legal & Other Lyrics By George Outram: Containing a number of new pieces & fifteen illustrations by Edward J. Sullivan |
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THE COLLECTOR |
 | Legal & Other Lyrics |  |
152
THE COLLECTOR
There is wailing and woe 'mong the high and the low,
From the peer to the ten-pound elector,
And the Board of Excise wipe the tears from their eyes
As they sympathise with the collector.
Oh! oh! the Collector!
He's fallen away past conjecture!
He's fast growing green, and the change may be seen
By the most superficial inspector.
From the peer to the ten-pound elector,
And the Board of Excise wipe the tears from their eyes
As they sympathise with the collector.
Oh! oh! the Collector!
He's fallen away past conjecture!
He's fast growing green, and the change may be seen
By the most superficial inspector.
He hates all mankind—to his own wants he's blind—
He's become a complete self-neglector:
But speak of a kettle—that rouses his mettle!
I red you beware the Collector!
Oh! oh! the Collector!
He swears he will be my dissector!
Or if the Fates' will is that I were Achilles,
He only would ask to be Hector!
He's become a complete self-neglector:
But speak of a kettle—that rouses his mettle!
I red you beware the Collector!
Oh! oh! the Collector!
He swears he will be my dissector!
Or if the Fates' will is that I were Achilles,
He only would ask to be Hector!
He believed it his own till his last card was thrown,
And then he grew pale as a spectre:
He abandon'd all hope, and gave up Johnnie Cope—
A wretched man was the Collector.
Oh! oh! the Collector!
He had been so long an expector,
His dreams every night were of kettles so bright,
Overflowing with oceans of nectar!
And then he grew pale as a spectre:
153
A wretched man was the Collector.
Oh! oh! the Collector!
He had been so long an expector,
His dreams every night were of kettles so bright,
Overflowing with oceans of nectar!
The blow was too great—he sank 'neath the weight—
I fear he'll soon need a protector:
For he's sadly declined both in body and mind—
You scarcely would know the Collector!
Oh! oh! the Collector!
When he sees his face in a reflector,
He is ready to swear 'tis the lion so rare
Of the Customhouse architecture!
I fear he'll soon need a protector:
For he's sadly declined both in body and mind—
You scarcely would know the Collector!
Oh! oh! the Collector!
When he sees his face in a reflector,
He is ready to swear 'tis the lion so rare
Of the Customhouse architecture!
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