Legal & Other Lyrics By George Outram: Containing a number of new pieces & fifteen illustrations by Edward J. Sullivan |
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THE LAW OF MARRIAGE
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83
THE LAW OF MARRIAGE
THOUGHTS AT SEA
O marriage!—tell me if you truly are
A Deity, as poets represent ye!
Or are you, as the Institutes declare,
Nothing but a consensus de presenti?
No matter!—I espoused a maid of twenty
By promise, and a process subsequente.
A Deity, as poets represent ye!
Or are you, as the Institutes declare,
Nothing but a consensus de presenti?
No matter!—I espoused a maid of twenty
By promise, and a process subsequente.
We married without contract; but our rights
Were all defined within the year and day.
A youngster came, one o' the cold spring nights—
I hardly had expected him till May.
My wife did well—in fact as well as could be;
The baby squeaked, and all was as it should be.
Were all defined within the year and day.
A youngster came, one o' the cold spring nights—
I hardly had expected him till May.
My wife did well—in fact as well as could be;
The baby squeaked, and all was as it should be.
The darling's eyes were dark and deeply set—
My wife's and mine were light and round and full;
His hair was thick and coarse and black as jet,
While ours was thin and fair and soft as wool;
I knew 'twas vain to play the rude remonstrant,
For Pater est quem nuptiæ demonstrant.
My wife's and mine were light and round and full;
His hair was thick and coarse and black as jet,
While ours was thin and fair and soft as wool;
I knew 'twas vain to play the rude remonstrant,
For Pater est quem nuptiæ demonstrant.
84
The am'rous youth may fervidly maintain
That marriage is a cure for every trouble;
The feudalist may learnedly explain
When its avail is single and when double:
Its sole avail to me, I grieve to say it,
Was debt—without the where withal to pay it.
That marriage is a cure for every trouble;
The feudalist may learnedly explain
When its avail is single and when double:
Its sole avail to me, I grieve to say it,
Was debt—without the where withal to pay it.
And debt brings duns. My dun was of a sort
That never can desist from persecution.
He brought my case before the Sheriff Court—
My debt, they told him, needed constitution.
'Twas false! He knew—I knew it to my curse—
It had the constitution of a horse.
That never can desist from persecution.
He brought my case before the Sheriff Court—
My debt, they told him, needed constitution.
'Twas false! He knew—I knew it to my curse—
It had the constitution of a horse.
But the decree went out, and I went in—
And in the jail lived more debitorum;
Yet though I lost my flesh I saved my skin,
By suing for a Cessio Bonorum.
I got out, naked as an unfurred rabbit.
The Lords dispensed, they told me, with the habit.
And in the jail lived more debitorum;
Yet though I lost my flesh I saved my skin,
By suing for a Cessio Bonorum.
I got out, naked as an unfurred rabbit.
The Lords dispensed, they told me, with the habit.
I went to seek my wife, but she had fled,
And had not left a single paraphernal;
But matrimonial law, upon my head
Seemed destined still to pour its curse eternal.
I had indeed obtained a separation
From bed and board—no prospect but starvation!
And had not left a single paraphernal;
But matrimonial law, upon my head
Seemed destined still to pour its curse eternal.
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From bed and board—no prospect but starvation!
But bed and board are things worth striving for,
So I bethought me of the pea and thimble:
But people had grown wiser than of yore,
And all in vain I plied my fingers nimble.
I then attempted Vitious Intromission,
And was immediately conveyed to prison.
So I bethought me of the pea and thimble:
But people had grown wiser than of yore,
And all in vain I plied my fingers nimble.
I then attempted Vitious Intromission,
And was immediately conveyed to prison.
And here again I lay upon my oars;
A Hermit keeps his cell—my cell kept me.
No letters came to me of Open Doors;
Criminal letters, though, came postage free,
The air I breathed just added to my cares,
Reminding me of coming Justice Ayres.
A Hermit keeps his cell—my cell kept me.
No letters came to me of Open Doors;
Criminal letters, though, came postage free,
The air I breathed just added to my cares,
Reminding me of coming Justice Ayres.
And come they did! And therefore am I now
Upon thy wave, old Ocean—Sydney bound!
And here the partner of my youthful vow,
Among the fourteen-yearers have I found;
Here are we (though not just as when we courted)
Again united and again transported.
Upon thy wave, old Ocean—Sydney bound!
And here the partner of my youthful vow,
Among the fourteen-yearers have I found;
Here are we (though not just as when we courted)
Again united and again transported.
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