The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe :: :: University of Virginia Library

THE STAMMERING WIFE.

I.

When, deeply in love with Miss Emily Cline,
I vowed, if the maiden would only be mine,
I would always endeavor to please her.
She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass
Said never a word, except “You 're an ass—
An ass—an ass-iduous teaser!”

II.

But when we were married I found to my ruth
The stammering lady had spoken the truth,
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She'd say,—if I ventured to give her a jog
In the way of reproof,—“You 're a dog—you 're a dog—
A dog—a dog-matic curmudgeon!”

III.

And once when I said, “We can hardly afford
This extravagant style, with our moderate hoard,”
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, “You 're a ju—you 're a ju—
A very ju-dicious adviser!”

IV.

Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor;
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, “You 're a cus—cus—cus—
You were always ac-cus-tomed to labor!”

V.

Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling that Madam was greatly to blame
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimicked her speech—like a churl as I am—
And angrily said, “You 're a dam—dam—dam—
A dam-age instead of a blessing!”