The Probationary Odes of Jonathan Pindar, Esq :: :: University of Virginia Library

The Probationary Odes of Jonathan Pindar, Esq

A cousin of Peter's, and candidate for the post of Poet Laureat to the C. U. S. In two parts

Tucker, St. George (1752-1827)

ODE III.

THE DRUNKEN INDIAN.—A TALE.

Collapse All | Expand All expand section

ODE III.

TO THE SAME.

Jonathan correcteth a general Error.—Propagateth a new Gospel-Salvation.—Warneth of false prophets; and concludeth with a modern Athanasian Creed, for the Benefit of good Believers.

Utilium tardus provisor, prodigus æris,
Sublimis, cupidæsque, et amata relinquere pernix.
Hor.

Fame is a Lyar, and Reports of old,
Were held to be of her vile fabrication:
A dif'rent Story in our days is told:
Reports the Gospel are of our Salvation.

“Believe ME and be sav'd, saith the Reporter,
“Nor seek my sacred myst'ries to unravel.”
The Presbyterian Catechism Shorter
Contains not more young Cloddy-poles to gravel.

Ask ye why Laws, and Constitution too,
In vain prescribe modes of appropriation?
Have Laws or Constitution ought to do,
To change the course of HIS Predestination !

Say, were not these first pre-ordain'd by HIM
'Tis sitting then his will should both control,
And if perchance thro' blunder, or thro' whim,
They err, his will must rectify the whole.

Stick then, I pray you, Sirs, to the Report;
Regard its Dictates more than sacred writ;
To Law, or Constitution why resort!
Stretch it, or tear it, if it will not fit.

But when Reports from other quarters come,
Such may be deem'd Apocryphal no doubt!
Fail not at once to beat th' Allarum Drum;
And 'gainst false Prophets make a goodly rout.

To pious folks who borrow others' Creeds,
These articles of faith I recommend,
Just tell them—as good Catholics their Beads;
Nor in Debate your precious time mispend:

“To Britain vain is all your opposition;
“Sooner shall herds of Mice a Lion fright:
“Your only claim to favor, is submission,
“She'l grant to that, what she denies to right.

“Though like a Russian bridegroom she hath tried
“Her utmost strength upon your corporation
“Those stripes which decorate your tender hide,
“Are but love-tokens, for your consolation.

“Nay, though like any Hottentotish Priest
“She hath bep'st you, till you smoke again,
“Doubt not 'tis holy water, at the least,
“That purifies you from each former stain.

“Une foi, une loi, un Roi! be that your text:
“Let mighty Quimbus be all three in one;
“With thinking you no more need be perplext,
“Suffice it that you say—Thy will be done!”

It will be remembered that the late Secretary of the Treasury, in his Letter to his agent in Holland, written the very day that he received those instructions which he thought proper to disregard, speaks of his own destination of the money, which he was instructed to borrow for a different purpose.

Jonathan is mistaken in supposing the present Constitution the fabric of his hands. A constitution of King, Lords, and Commons was contemplated by our modern Machievel, and it will not be his fault if he does not yet succeed in such an establishment, with himself at the head of it. C. C.