University of Virginia Library

LETTER XLIV.

I am extremely depressed, my dear
Lucy! The agitating scenes, through which I
have lately passed, have broken my spirits, and
rendered me unfit for society.

Major Sanford has visited me, and taken his
leave. He is gone to the southward on a tour
of two or three months. I declined any further
conversation with him, on the subjct of love.
At present, I wish not to hear it mentioned by
any one.

I have received a very friendly and consolatory
letter from Mrs. Richman. She invites
me to spend a few months with her; which
with my mamma's consent I shall do. I hope
the change of situation and company will
dissipate the gloom which hangs over my mind.

It is a common observation, that we know
not the value of a blessing but by deprivation.

This is strictly verified in my case. I was
insensible of my regard for Mr. Boyer, till this
fatal separation took place. His merit and

worth now appear in the brightest colors. I
am convinced of that excellence which I once
slighted; and the shade of departed happiness
haunts me perpetually! I am sometimes tempted
to write him, and confess my faults; to tell
him the situation of my mind, and to offer him
my hand. But he has precluded all hopes of
success, by the severity of his letter to me. At
any rate, I shall do nothing of the kind, till my
return from New-Haven.

I am the more willing to leave home, as my
affairs are made a town talk. My mamma
persuades me to disregard it. But how can I rise
superior to “The world's dread laugh, which
scarce the firm philosopher can scorn?”

Pray remember me to Mr. Sumner. You
are happy, my friend, in the love and esteem of
a worthy man; but more happy still, in deferving
them. Adieu.