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LETTER LVII.
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184

Page 184

LETTER LVII.

By Julia's advice, we have neglected
the repeated invitations of Major Sanford, to
visit and commence neighborhood with them,
till yesterday; when we received a polite
billet, requesting the honor of our company
to dine. My mamma declined going; but
said she had no objection to our compliance
with the message, if we thought proper. Julia
and I accordingly went. We found a large
company assembled in a spacious hall, splendidly
furnished and decorated. They were
all very polite and attentive to me; but none
more so than Major Sanford and his lady,
who jointly strove to dissipate the pensiveness
of my mind, which I found it impossible to
conceal. When we were summoned to dinner,
the major being near me, offered his
hand, and leading me into the dining room,
seated me at a table furnished with all the variety
which could please the eye, or regale the


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Page 185
taste of the most luxurious epicure. The
conversation turned on various subjects, literary,
political, and miscellaneous. In the evening
we had a ball. Major Sanford gave the
hand of his wife to a Mr. Grey, alledging that
he was a stranger, and therefore, entitled to
particular attention; and then solicited mine
for himself. I was on the point of refusing
him, but recollecting that it might have the
appearance of continued resentment, contrary
to my declaration of forgiving what was
past, I complied. He was all kindness, and
assiduity; the more so, I imagine, with a view
to make amends for his former ingratitude
and neglect. Tenderness is now peculiarly
soothing to my wounded heart. He took an
opportunity of conversing with his wife and
me together; hoped she would be honored
with my friendship, and acquaintance; and
begged, for her sake, that I would not be a
stranger at his house. His Nancy, he said,
was far removed from her maternal friends;
but I could supply their place, if I would generously
undertake the task. She joined in expressing
the same sentiments and wishes.
Alas! Sir, said I, Eliza Wharton is not now
what she once was! I labor under a depression
of spirits, which must render my company
rather painful than pleasing to my friends.
The idea of what I had been, contrasted
with what I then was, touched my sensibility;

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Page 186
and I could not restrain the too officious tear
from stealing down my cheek. He took me
by the hand, and said, you distress me, Miss
Wharton, indeed, you distress me! Happiness
must, and shall attend you! Cursed be the
wretch, who could wound a heart like your's!

Julia Granby now joined us. An inquisitive
concern was visible in her countenance.

I related this conversation to her, after we
returned home; but she approved it not.

She thought Major Sanford too particularly
attentive to me, considering what had previously
happened. She said it would be noticed
by others, and the world would make unfavorable
remarks upon any appearance of intimacy
between us. I care not for that, said
I. It is an ill-natured, misjudging world;
and I am not obliged to sacrifice my friends
to its opinion. Were Major Sanford a single
man I should avoid his society; but since he
is married; since his wife is young, beautiful
and lovely, he can have no temptation to injure
me. I therefore see no evil, which can
arise from the cultivation of friendship with
her, at least. I relish company so little, that
I may surely be indulged in selecting that
which is most agreeable to my taste, to prevent
my becoming quite a misanthrope.

I thank you, my dear Mrs. Sumner, for your
kind letter. It was a seasonable cordial to my
mind; and I will endeavor to profit by your
advice.


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Page 187

Your remarks on the public entertainments
are amusing, and as far as I am a judge, perfectly
just.

I think it a pity they have not female managers
for the theatre. I believe it would be
under much better regulations, than at present.

With cordial respects to Mr. Sumner, I subscribe
myself, yours in sincerity,

Eliza Wharton.