University of Virginia Library

The Memory of Love

A Tale

Once in the merry toil of clipping time
When suns are hot & summers in her prime
An old man laboring with his fellow men
Neath two broad wallnuts shadowing oer the pen
To lighten labour & make short the day
They tund old songs & chatterd time away
Some bragging oer the feats of younger years
Of quickness some to use the snipping sheers
Others of strength & agilty the while
When they could leap a ditch or jump a stile
One told the history of his dog with pride
That half asleep lay panting by his side
The young ones harpd of coming holidays
& pretty maids & dances had their praise
Of those they sought & fools that had believd
& dreamd of marriage till they woke decievd
Twas thought no sin if hearts they only won
To make them ach they thought it precious fun
Old robin heard em tween a sigh & smile
& bade them listen to his tale awhile
They stopt & choakd the titter as he spoke
& heard his story as one hears a joke
Thinking him childish as his mind woud cling
Wi joy to such a silly seeming thing
The vulgar dregs of love was all they knew
But what hed felt was tender puer & true
“My boys” says he “I once was young & wild
“Urging my follys when a maiden smild
“Oft whispering marriage wi a foolish tongue
“& then excusd me as some years too young
“I courted beauty till the freak was past
“& then found others prettier then the last
“I wood & won them as a sort of pride
“& then sought others till I was denied
“Nor coud their sighs affect my roving will
“I left them off in search of prettier still
“Laugh not my boys when slighted maidens mourn
“For fear your follys may be servd in turn
“& if in beautys net ye once shoud be
“Yell find a puzzle ere your hearts are free
“I left my old place wi the finishd year
“& went to service in a village near
“Stretchd from the last but some few country miles
“In crooked pathways over dykes & styles
“Were foolish freaks my fancys did renew
“& folly sweetend as each face was new
“But there one beauty met my wandering eye
“& bound my fancys wi a troubld tye
“I tryd to break it but it woud not bend
“So freaks & lyes & follys had their end
“Her very image startles on me yet
“She seemd the lovliest I had ever met
“Her face chilld thro me tho twas only fair
“& red & rosey as a manys are
“& tho her bosom swelld & eyes shone bright
“As others shine they overpowerd me quite
“In every feature shone that witching spell
“That love adores & language cannot tell
“To my new place I went at michaelmass
“When roads were splashy but green leaves & grass
“Brought this sweet blossom wi the early may
“To win the wandering of my heart away
“Hird at a mayday statute & her name
“Was talk about the village ere she came
“Maids jealous whisperings did their doubtings raise
“While chaps was eager tho by guess to praise
“& I who meant a seasons suit to prove
“Met wi a fruitless & a lasting love
“The day she came I reccolect it still
“As wi a cart I journeyd to the mill
“She passd me by her face I cant forget
“The sweetest may flower I had ever met
“The morn was lovly & down lane & balk
“I went in joy & musd along the walk
“Gazing on prospects in a happy vein
“Oer fields fresh ploughd & springing crops of grain
“& all I met & all that pleasd my eye
“Time neer had power to push their memory bye
“I still remember how each close was lind
“Wi cowslip bunches nodding in the wind
“& in each lane oer hung wi briar & thorn
“What swarms of daiseys glitterd in the morn
“My dog was happy too & often rolld
“His curly jacket in the fresh ploughd mold
“& sheep that woud my dog a moment heed
“Rose from their lares & stoopd adown to feed
“The hare oft sturted from the clover lea
“& birds were happy as a song can be
“The red caps often from the hedge woud drop
“& whistling perch upon the thistle top
“The weeders toild & sung their hours away
“& while the old ones askd the time of day
“The young girls hallood merrily & shill
“If I woud take a partner to the mill
“Nor did I think a heart as glad as theirs
“Woud meet a cause to change my joy to cares
“The roaring mill brook whose uneven tide
“Grows now & then more then a horse can stride
“Till from the mill releasd its windings creep
“Narrow & soft a green grass hoppers leap
“She passd me there I turnd an anxious eye
“& had one askd I coud not answer why
“Twas her I thought that wore the village fame
“& ere I judg'd it provd the very same
“She askd the way & wi a timid smile
“Turnd back to thank me ere she skipt the stile
“I wishd Id offerd help when she was bye
“To cross the brook but it was nearly dry
“Nor on the bank she sighd to be alone
“Nor pausd before she stept from stone to stone
“Filld full of fancys to my journeys end
“I wishd Id spoke then judgd I might offend
“Then wishd the brook its stones had over run
“& stretchd a danger which she coud not shun
“Without my help that I by chance might prove
“A feeble shadow of my sudden love
“Within the foldings of her ankerchief
“Was pind a red pink wi its crimson leaf
“The little trifle gave my bosom pain
“I thought it given by some parting swain
“& ever since my memory keeps awake
“To love the blossom for the owners sake
“& every year as clipping time comes round
“When ere I see one in our poseys bound
“Tho I am old & love has lost its power
“I pause & sigh & een coud kiss the flower
“& think the maiden be she plain or fair
“Like her I lovd because she placd it there
“I often went on sundays to the spot
“Were she passd by a trifle neer forgot
“The very stones she stept to cross the stream
“Ive sat for hours to muse upon & dream
“The stile too over which I saw her climb
“Has made my foolish heart ach many a time
“& tho Im old my palsid memory still
“If I passd now woud turn my bosom chill
“On the next morning as I crossd the plain
“At milkings hour I saw the maid again
“The cows stood round her in a wondering way
“& being a stranger kept her fears at bay
“They tossd their heads & snufft the morning gales
“& skewd at her—I gladly took the pails
“& tho my sheep that almost seemd to scold
“Me when I went was noising in the fold
“I milkd em all & more her fears to screen
“I took her yokes & saw her oer the green
“& at the pasture gate wi fond delight
“I left a promise I woud milk at night
“& urgd her kind return that shed agree
“My may game partner at the eve to be
“She lookd consent I even thought she smild
“For love sees double when by hope beguild
“But as the cows grew reconsild & tame
“She always thankd me but refusd the claim
“To milk or bear it home from evens toil
“& een refusd assistance oer a stile
“It made me half my hopful love resign
“& feel her heart had but small room for mine
“Yet I urgd on & woud my doubts reprove
“& often thought she desbeleevd my love
“I went to church each leisure sabbath day
“For every purpose but the right to pray
“Her seat was opposite to mine—in vain
“I tryd to read & turnd to gaze again
“Till some old woman shook her serious head
“& urgd my eye to what I seldom read
“My book was open oft when prayers were done
“& Ive kept reading till the psalms begun
“When the clerks voice & basoon booming deep
“Made memory startle as Id been asleep
“I often tryd what signals love woud take
“But she seemd strange to all I had to make
“I often smild when ere she turnd her eye
“But she woud pause as if she wonderd why
“She seemd to try to shun me in the street
“& I scarce consious tryd the maid to meet
“At length some gipseys on our comon came
“& as a change to may nights even game
“Maids in the gipseys nook proposd a dance
“& I went too & dreamd upon the chance
“For summer eves to servants then supplyd
“Sweet leisure hours when toil was thrown aside
“Masters & misses too woud join the play
“& ramp as equals in the sports of may
“In my young days soon as the ruddy sun
“Was set our labour in the fields was done
“& we have playd & dancd when day was bye
“Till the moons horns crept half way up the sky
“Young miss & master servant man & maid
“& none woud scold nor question why we staid
“The maiden came her whom I wished to see
“I askd her trembling if shed dance with me
“She smild then checkt it & wi half turnd eye
“Pausd for a moment ere she made reply
“Good manners seemd to urge her to consent
“She blushd & yielded & away we went
“O the first time I touchd her gentle hand
“I felt a joy yell never understand
“Unless ye chill neath true loves extacy
“& then yell own the pleasant pain wi me
“My heart sunk in me like a lump of clay
“My feet een trembld as we dancd away
“& then the trembling left me & in turn
“Hot feverish flushes made it seem to burn
“I viewd her face were beauty near coud cloy
“& dreamd oer raptures till I smild for joy
“Some sneerd contempt & whisperingly abusd
“& others turnd away & seemd confusd
“To see me chuse a stranger from the throng
“& shun the partners I had known so long
“I prest her hand she turnd a tender eye
“But never smild & often seemd to sigh
“& when a finish to the sports had come
“I offerd hints to see her safly home
“She turnd aside & never answerd no
“But thankd me kindly & prepard to go
“& warm wi raptures dreams in hopes delay
“I led her homward on our evening way
“& venturd gradual hints & smiles & sighs
“To clear my passion of its thin disguise
“She seemd confusd at what she had to say
“Nor bade hopes live nor wishd my words away
“At length she tryd & when she choakd the sigh
“She gave me hints that made them hurry bye
“‘Nay you may love’ she said ‘& Id believe
“If I had power but why shoud I decieve’
“Then pausd as loath the finish to relate
“& woud have left me but I held the gate
“She sighd to see me toy wi hopes & fears
“& made excuses to conseal her tears
“Wiping her dark brown curls from either eye
“As shrinking from me she exclaimd ‘good bye’
“& bade me cease to say she had my heart
“& struggld from me as resolvd to part
“‘Your hearts not mine’ she said ‘& I must shun
“Your urgd returns for mines already won
“What ever proofs your vows or words make known
“I cannot give you what is not my own’
“Then loosd the gate & hurried to the door
“& I beheld her wi hopes eyes no more
“For often to the town her lover came
“& came at last the marriage day to name
“I went to church not knowing what I did
“That very sunday when the bands was bid
“Lord help ones cares Id need enough to stay
“& think while there of better things & pray
“But when the parson brought the thing about
“I shut my book & sighd & venturd out
“& went I know not how nor were nor when
“But hopes wore off & I got better then
“The marriage came it was a woful day
“& memory gave it an eternal stay
“I heard the bells ring as I crossd the moor
“& never heard so sad a peal before
“I wishd to see how she woud look a bride
“& started off & then my courage dyd
“I woud not go & then I venturd bye
“The church yard wall but nothing met my eye
“I felt as happy that the thing was oer
“& then as vexd I did not go before
“I hung my head half shamd along the street
“Nor card to talk wi those my path woud meet
“Lest they shoud jeer me or bring up the day
“So when they spoke I mumbling sneakd away
“I thought upon her lovly face for years
“Wi fondest feelings almost kin to tears
“Till the heart achd wi love—I cannot tell
“What others thought by her I lovd so well
“Or how she seemd to him that calld her wife
“Her face to me was memory for life
“Her looks her ways in winning forms woud steal
“& left a pain I never ceasd to feel
“Her very voice woud memorys partner be
“& music lingerd in the sound wi me
“Her troubling form was long about my sight
“Oer day dreams dozing or in sleep by night
“My dreams wore constantly that pleasing pain
“The face of her I lovd & coud not gain
“& oft I see that moving scene renewd
“& as she passd I seemingly pursued
“Somtimes in vain & oft as wide awake
“I saw her stop & smile at my mistake
“Changd to a face I never saw before
“& all my shadows of delight was oer
“& wishd that pleasure vainly een in sleep
“Were fancy pictures its delusions deep
“I wishd when waking I coud feel the bliss
“& venturd one imaginary kiss
“That seeming pleasure might to memory cling
“But even this my dreams woud never bring
“I sought at first the noise of feast & fair
“To see if tumult yet had joys to spare
“& hopes woud somtimes join my pleasant way
“Thro fields & meads in summer cloathing gay
“Half sad half pleasd I musd oer what might come
“& idly brushd the meadow flowers in bloom
“& when I saunterd mid the noisey fair
“Memory woud taunt me who was wanted there
“& oft I strove wi foolish search to find
“Some face like hers that I might change my mind
“I left on this & that an earnest eye
“& made some turn—no doubt to wonder why
“But all were blanks & made my wishes vain
“& search for cure still added all to pain
“The showmans shouts which wonder yearly brings
“The huge hung pictures of outlandish things
“Were grinning tigers waverd in the wind
“& raisd more wonders then was hid behind
“The merry fool that woud his speeches make
“Till wi the fun my very sides woud ach
“The turning organ & the jarring din
“Of shouts & music tempting gazers in
“Till crowds woud crush around the tempting shows
“& I crushd too nor card for trampld toes
“The jew cheats veigling voice ‘who bys who bys’
“Wi white washd watches of inspiring size
“The rolling drum & soldiers gay cockade
“& fond encroachments of some simpering maid
“Pulling my sleeve & urging whispers low
“Memory of farings promisd long ago
“These all unnoticd now I saunterd bye
“& only turnd a carless ear or eye
“Seeking for that which it was vain to find
“To loose the burden from a troubld mind
“The dance & revel brought its joys no more
“I hated pastimes which I lovd before
“The walks on sabbath days wi milking lass
“& every pastime on the summer grass
“Were hunt the slipper passd the hours away
“& blindmens buff made every bosom gay
“When tittering maidens urgd me which to seize
“These lost the relish & the power to please
“& may day revels ownd their powers no more
“I sought no may bush for a lovers door
“Nor snatchd short sleeps to watch the morn begin
“To take her cows the garlands claims to win
“I saw none now that claimd an hour from sleep
“Nor none to care for but my dog & sheep
“I kept no ‘may balls’ now of cowslips made
“To toss on maydays to a favourd maid
“I ran no ‘crookhorn’ on the pasture grasses
“Nor ‘duck neath water’ playd wi bawling lasses
“Nor dancd the ‘Maze’ which shepherds fond of play
“Cut in the grass to baffle maids at may
“The self same puzzle which the knowing boy
“Oft draws at school & calls ‘the road to troy’
“Nor ‘lost love letter’ round the whispering ring
“Coud one fe[i]nt pleasure to my musings bring
“My fancys found none in the merry game
“As worth the kisses which the finders claim
“I shund them all the sports & loves & ways
“That usd to please me in my hopfull days
“My sundays harmless pleasures were forsook
“Nor turnd my rambles to the pasture brook
“Were in my youth at ‘Eastwells’ fountain side
“Which winters never froze nor summer dryd
“Young men & maidens usd to talk & play
“In the cool shadows of its willows grey
“Drinking loves healths in totts of sugard drink
“On the soft swellings of its rushy brink
“From the spring head like winter cold & chill
“Were boils the white sand that is never still
“Now swimming up in silver threads & then
“Slow siling down to bubble up agen
“There shepherds usd to sit & tell the while
“Their tales & jokes to win each maidens smile
“& drank loud flattering healths to those they lovd
“& turnd to pause & see if they approvd
“The maids lookd down & blushd till none percievd
“Then smild a token which their hearts believd
“I shund all these which I had lovd before
“& joind the childens play games on the moor
“Nicking the ‘nine peg morris’ in the grass
“Or tying garlands for some little lass
“Reaching them roses from the hedgrow bowers
“Who fawnd around me till I got the flowers
“& turnd my labours to their changing wills
“Now willow whistles made then water mills
“Then plaited rush caps till they cloyd agen
“& fresh inventions were demanded then
“Midsummer cushions oft their taste woud court
“& mid the green corn off they chasd in sport
“& thus I tryd to loiter time away
“Till they were weary of each idle play
“I was the play king of the jocund clan
“& often wishd I coud forget the man
“That had but trifles happiness to spoil
“Play all their love & all their trouble toil
“Somtimes wi stretching hand they bent to look
“Flat stones & pebbles in the tinkling brook
“Making me jelt them oer the pond to make
“The bouncing jumps they title ‘duck & drake’
“& mong the shutting daiseys on its banks
“As they grew sick & weary of their pranks
“Ive dropt adown at ruddy eventide
“& sat to hear them wonder at my side
“To see the water imitate the sky
“& the round moon miles thro the bottom lye
“Were the cloud man true to his evening place
“Stood in its light & lookd us in the face
“As tho he heard their merry shout & laugh
“Leaning like talking shepherd oer his staff
“Or weary woodman (& as such they guest
“The shade to be) bent oer his load to rest
“My partners as they passd woud point & say
“Theres love sick robin wi the boys at play
“Maidens woud think me justly servd & smild
“To see crossd love had made me twice a child
“Folks thought me crazd & you may think the same
“Who know of love no further then the name
“Think as ye please my childish tale is done
“Tis time it were for theres the setting sun
“& if ye ere shoud meet wi my despair
“To love a girl that has no love to spare
“Then will your weakness to their beauty bow
“& feel the truth that I have told you now”