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John Clare: Cottage Tales

Edited by Eric Robinson, David Powell and P. M. S. Dawson

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The Sorrows of Love or The Broken Heart
 
 
 


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The Sorrows of Love or The Broken Heart

A Tale

“Good shepherd tell this youth what tis to love
“It is to be all made of sighs & tears—
“—All made of faith & service
“All made of passion & all made of wishes
“All humbleness all patience & impatience
Shakspear [As You Like It 5.2.76–7, 82, 88–90]

To sober wi sad truths the laughing mirth
Of rosey daughters round the cottage hearth
Who in the innosence that youth beguiles
Haild new years eve like holidays wi smiles
& pass the winters lengthend eve away
A mother told the tale of sally Grey
“How time” she said “& pleasure passes bye”
& stopt to whipe the tear drops from her eye
“Twenty or thirty years when past away
“Seem like an hour glass turnings for one day
“Nay fifty years to come the same when gone
“Lives in our memorys scarce the length of one
“Ere half a bottom from the spool is wound
“Or falling water soaketh in the ground
“Time gains upon us distance unawares
“Stealing our joys & changing them for cares
“Tis nine & thirty years this very day
“Since I beheld the last of Sally Grey”
Then pausd & lookd above her were she sat
& reachd the bible down to prove the date
Whose blank leaves did a catalogue display
Of names & dates the year & month & day
When boys & girls were born & old friends dyd
These still existed memorys certain guide
That lay wi penny storys rustling near
& almanacks prese[r]vd for many a year
Stopping the story till she found the place

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Pulling her glasses from their leathern case
Twas right & from her lap in saddend vein
She took her knitting & went on again
“Poor thing she dyd heart broken & distrest
“Thro love tho docters who may know the best
“Said twas decline that wasted life away
“But truth is truth & be it as it may
“She neer did aught that malice can reprove
“Her only failing was the fault of love
“Tis hard enough when innoscen[c]e is hurld
“On the cold bosom of an heartless world
“When mockery & stony hearted pride
“Reveals the failings pity strives to hide
“& wi sad cruel taunt & bitter jest
“Lays thorns to pillow troubles broken rest
“But when a poor young thing like Sally dies
“For love & only love were is the eyes
“Can look in memorys face wi out a tear
“Een scorn finds nought to turn aside & sneer
“But silent stands while pity shakes her head
“& thinks tears just it self declines to shed
“Twas by anothers failings that she fell
“Whose wanton follys was her passing bell
“A clown as wild as young colts freed from plough
“Who saw a prison in a marriage vow
“Had won her heart & kept it in his power
“As the rude bindweed clasps the tender flower
“A clown as shifty as the summer wind
“To him her heart & love was all resignd
“Poor girl I felt in trouble for her end
“A next door neighbour & an only friend
“Seldom apart till strangers woud consent
“To take us sisters weresoere we went
“Her father kept a cottage next to ours
“A market gardener & he dealt in flowers
“Were swains on sabbath days would oft resort
“To buy fine poesys for a sunday coat

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“The ‘touchmenot’ that like a nettle stung
“What ere it met was often hid among
“The flowers of those who lovd rude jokes to trye
“Wi fond unthinking wenches passing bye
“Offering wi serious face as all were well
“Which bit their noses when they bent to smell
“& cloves he had the sweetest flower that grows
“& anemonys double as the rose
“Wi velvet 'raculas bepowderd flower
“That lookd as some one in an idle hour
“Had stoopt adown to dust em oer wi meal
“& scores of names besides—here oft woud steal
“Poor sallys beau who bought his flowers the while
“Wi double prices money & a smile
“& many a wisper of loves cheating powers
“That calld her fairest of her fathers flowers
“Such ways like spring hopes youngling blood did move
“& bye & bye got ripend into love
“He then the wishes of his mind exprest
“& was recievd a lovers welcome guest
“Go were we woud him we was sure to meet
“Or on the pasture or about the street
“& oft on summer eves or sabbath days
“Hed join our walks & surfiet her wi praise
“Nay she coud scarcly to the church repair
“But he held out his arm to lead her there
“& to her fathers house he often went
“Who welcome gave & deemd it kindly meant
“& crackt of goods & savings oer his ale
“Things he had addld by his spade & flail
“& showing oft wi fatherly regard
“The pigs & poultry in his little yard
“How this & that as matters closer led
“Were marriage portions when their daughter wed
“The childern they her little sisters three
“Began to know him & woud climb his knee
“& whisperd little storys in his ear

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“& calld him brother which he smild to hear
“& to reward them for each prattling way
“He promisd bride cake on the wedding day
“& wi loves keep sakes brought from fair or wake
“He near forgot the childerns nutts or cake
“I markd these things for I was often bye
“& ever thought the wedding day was nigh
“For as a neeghbour oft by night & day
“I took my work in to pass time away
“& oft wi out it on a winters eve
“Ive stole away nor askd a mothers leave
“To play at cards & talk of dress beside
“For wenches heads are ever after pride
“No holiday ere came but he was there
“For whom the father left his corner chair
“Her mother blessd 'em as she touchd the glass
“& wishd him luck & nodded to the lass
“& all beheld him when the freak begun
“In kindred prospect as a promisd son
“Thus for awhile his fawning love did burn
“& doubts arose at every touch & turn
“If she but nodded at a fair or wake
“To chaps she knew it made his bosom ache
“Or said ‘good morning’ to a passer bye
“She always had a rival in her eye
“& jealousy woud fawningly complain
“& urge to vows ere he was right again
“But when he found her heart was all his own
“He quickly made his foolish follys known
“& like a young bird childern use in play
“He teazd & plagud it till it pind away
“He lovd her on but thought it mighty fun
“To prove her fondness when the maid was won
“From every night to once a week they met
“& then excuses made it longer yet
“Somtimes he coud not stay as heretofore
“But calld her out to wisper at the door

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“& turnd away & smild self satisfied
“To see the tear drops which she strove to hide
“He dancd wi other girls his pride to please
“& seemd to glory in the chance to teaze
“Thinking it fine so many hearts to win
“& smild to see the blushes she was in
“He did such things he said her love to tell
“& crackd of morts that lovd him full as well
“At feast & fair Ive seen the fellow start
“Up from his chair to offer girls the quart
“& then look round him wi a leering eye
“& drank their healths while she was sitting bye
“Her face burnt red as any cloak the while
“& tears woud startle while she strove to smile
“& oft when nigh a soldier he has sat
“Hed laugh & put the colors on his hat
“But he too great a coward was to go
“For nought but cowards uses women so
“Twas only to perplex the heart hed won
“For no one cause but insolence & fun
“& he did hurt her tho she lovd him still
“& patiently put up wi every ill
“Nursing the venom of that speckld snake
“About her heart till it was glad to break
“Yet when I cautiond her of loves distress
“& bade her notice the wild fellow less
“Saying she showd her love too much by half
“‘Mary you jest’ she said & made a laugh
“For we on sabbath days in pleasant weather
“Went still to walk & talk of love together
“& often sought a hut beside the wood
“That from the town a gossips minute stood
“Twas calld the herdsmans hut for when her spouse
“Walkd wi out sticks he kept the village cows
“Ere vile enclosure took away the moor
“& farmers built a workhouse for the poor
“Here the old woman for wants small rewards

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“Woud tell our fortunes both by cups & cards
“Some calld her witch & wisperd all they dare
“Of nightly things that had been noticd there
“Witches of every shape that usd to meet
“To count the stars or mutterd charms repeat
“Woodmen in winter as they passd the road
“Have vowd theyve seen some crawling like a toad
“& some like owlets wewing over head
“Shrieking enough to frighten them to dead
“Nay some have witnessd as they passd that way
“Grey owlets whooping in the very day
“& in the trees that did their shadows fling
“Close to the door the noisey crows in spring
“Woud build their nests unscard when she was bye
“& tho they saw her never card to flye
“& some like kites high overhead woud watch
“Tho shed no chickens in her yard to catch
“Yet she to us appeard like other folks
“A droll old woman full of tales & jokes
“& many a summers eve weve stole away
“From bawling cows that needed us to stay
“& neathe the crooked hedge beside the lane
“Oft hid our milk pails till we turnd again
“Were briar & woodbine in the sumer hours
“Hung like a garden coverd oer wi flowers
“& soon as ere our shadows reachd the wall
“A magpie which she kept woud scold & bawl
“& peep & follow as we opd the door
“& woud unbidden run its gabble oer
“While she would twirl the tea grounds round the cup
“Or take the pack to cut or shuffle up
“Twoud mock the old dame in her deep discourse
“& sqawl so deafning till it een was hoarse
“Till the old dame to let her tale be heard
“Was forcd to take & throw her in the yard
“& some woud call & vouchd the thing as true
“The bird a witch that told her all she knew

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“I cannot say as what the thing might be
“Twas like the magpies which we always see
“But I am certain wether bad or good
“Twoud talk as plain as any christian coud
“Her very cat too bore an evil name
“Because twas fondld up & made so tame
“That like a dog twoud follow her to town
“Purring behind or rubbing by her gown
“& oft as homward wi our milk weve came
“Loitering along when chance has met the dame
“Her cat was ever partner in her walk
“& when weve sat the buckets down to talk
“Soon as our eyes was turnd twoud instant plop
“To lap the milk upon the bucket top
“& knowing what theyve said about the town
“Ive seen it oft nor card to turn it down
“But if the old dames ways was darkly meant
“I near saw nothing tho I often went
“Deal as she might wi satans evil powers
“She read her bible & was fond of flowers
“& went to church as other people may
“& knelt & prayd tho witches cannot pray
“She had her ague charms & old reciepts
“For wounds & bruises labour often meets
“& gatherd wild flowers in her summer toils
“To make her ointments that was famd for miles
“& many a one hath ownd her homly skill
“That dare not run a docters larger bill
“& as to ill got knowledge of the sky
“She was as innocent as you & I
“She might no doubt wi pointed finger show
“The shepherds lamp which even childer know
“& doubtless lovd when journeying from the town
“To see it rising soon as day was down
“The taylors yardband too hung streaming high
“& dicks night waggon driving thro the sky
“& butchers cleaver or the seven stars

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“Wi shooting north lights tokening bloody wars
“She might know these which if its sin to know
“Then every body is a witch below
“Well those are good that never do no wrong
“& blest are they that scape an evil tongue
“Thus to young hopes she woud her fortunes tell
“But sally quickly knew her own too well
“Time by degrees unriddled the mistake
“& left her dreams of fondness wide awake
“Her tears & sighs did all too vainly prove
“To keep the shepherd to his vows of love
“He came to vex her oft & woud not stay
“& shut the door agen & laughd away
“Cause she was spotless & a maiden still
“Consience near prickt him that the deed was ill
“& he made promises to give her pain
“Just for the sake of breaking them again
“On winter nights for hours Ive known her stand
“Listning wi door half open in her hand
“They say love feels no cold but she has stood
“To wait his coming when he said he woud
“Till her very teeth hath chatterd in her head
“Like the third ague ere she went to bed
“So what wi colds & an uneasy mind
“Beauty soon faded & her health declind
“The rose that lovers call so left her face
“& the pale sickly lily took its place
“Thus she went on poor mellancholy thing
“Just like a bud thats injurd in the spring
“That may live on to see the coming may
“A feeble blossom leaning on decay
“As little linnets pine in summers joys
“For absent loves a shooting clown destroys
“She sorrowd on & worse & worse she grew
“Till strength declind its labour to pursue
“Yet wishing still her sorrows to conseal
“She turnd wi feeble hand her spinning wheel

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“Till weak & weary when no one was bye
“Shed lean her back ward in her chair to cry
“At length the parents tho wi added fears
“Saw thro her heart throbs & her secret tears
“& when they found the only crime was love
“They jokd at times & woud by turns reprove
“Saying if that was all the world possest
“For causing troubles few woud be distrest
“Nor make a grief of such a foolish thing
“Were loves were plenty as the flowers in spring
“But all was vain she put her best looks on
“When they was there & grievd when they were gone
“Till toil & fretting brought her down so low
“That she was forcd her labour to forgo
“Her friends no longer wi false hopes beguild
“Feard for the danger of their troubld child
“& on the fellows folly closd their door
“& bade him teaze her wi his lies no more
“I often went & sat me by her side
“To cheer her spirits while her mother cried
“Who bade her daughter oer & oer agen
“Think more of god & less of naughty men
“But all was vain she made us no reply
“Or only answerd wi a smotherd sigh
“Her childern sisters oft hung round her chair
“On which she leant in silence & despair
“Her troubld looks they coud not understand
“& tryd to raise her head from off her hand
“& askd the reason why she sat so still
“Or if aught wrongd her that had made her ill
“She kissd their prattling lips wi struggling sighs
“While anguish rushd for freedom to her eyes
“Then woud she turn away from friends & kin
“& hide the trouble that her heart was in
“Still woud they teaze her on poor little things
“Twitch at her gown & pull her apron strings
“& eke her sorrow wi her lovers name

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“Urging the reason why he never came
“Bringing up childish memorys to her cost
“Things they had missd & pleasures she had lost
“Talking of fairings which he usd to bring
“& showing fragments of each broken thing
“Clay sergants broken armd wi faded sash
“& one eyd dolls & churns wi out a dash
“Things he oft brought his early suit to move
“Trifles for childern valud proofs for love
“Thus they woud urge & end wi scornfull brow
“‘A naughty man he brings us nothing now’
“She stopt their mouths wi kisses & wi sighs
“& turnd her face again to hide her eyes
“Her mother talkd of patience all in vain
“& read jobs troubles oer & oer again
“Then turnd to love & read the book of ruth
“Making excuses for the faults of youth
“Saying how she in lifes young joys was crost
“& both a lover & a husband lost
“Yet still hopd on & overlookd the past
“& lovd her mother & was blest at last
“& if said she you trust in god & pray
“You may be happy in the end as they
“& she herself woud often try to read
“The bibles comforts in the hour of need
“But soon she faild the cheering truths to look
“& got so weak as scarce to lift the book
“The fellow bye & bye his folly mournd
“His consience prickt him or his love returnd
“He begd & prayd & wishd again to be
“Once more admitted to her company
“The parents thought twoud save their sinking child
“For troubles hopes are easy reconsild
“& gave the villain leave agen to come
“& more then that to make their cot his home
“When he came first I sat beside her bed
“He askd her how she was & hung his head

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“She bursted into tears & coud not speak
“& as she leand her sorrow wasted cheek
“Upon her hand he did his sins recall
“She kissd him fondly & forgave him all
“Her face was thin & lost its healthy red
“White as the sheets turnd down upon her bed
“No doubt he felt an anguish in her pain
“& seemd to pause ere he coud speak again
“Vows he renewd as cures for every ill
“She turnd to me & sighd ‘they never will’
“Then smild & bowd her faded face to weep
“& wearied out sunk down like one asleep
“Then rose agen like one awoke from pain
“& gazd on him & me & wept again
“& on her bosom laid her wasted hand
“Sighing a language b[r]utes might understand
“He took her hand but the poor mother prayd
“His stay to comfort the dejected maid
“He heard it gladly & he did remain
“Set down his stick & closd the door again
“& of their humble living shard a part
“& livd an inmate of her house & heart
“& hopes was fed tho but the mask of pain
“As she recoverd & got out again
“She seemd so well they een began to name
“The wedding day—twas set & ere it came
“Hope got so strong her friends were fixd upon
“To act as bride maids & myself was one
“While gossips when they met woud still agree
“To shake their heads & say twoud never be
“Muttering oer doubts they woud not urge aloud
“Saying her bride dress woud turn out a shroud
“God knows they but too truly prophesyd
“For ere it came she sickend worse & dyd
“Upon that very morn that was to be
“The wedding sunshine & festivity
“Death did so gently his cold fingers lay

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“Upon her bosom that she sild away
“Without a groan & but for us that wept
“About her bed one might have thought she slept
“For marriage greetings parents sorrows fell
“& marriage peals changd to a passing bell
“Her young sun set neath sorrows settld cloud
“Wed to the grave her bride sheets was a shroud
“& I who thought to see her dress that day
“A brides wi love notts dizend out so gay
“Saw it preparing at the joiners shop
“Who trimd the white lace round the coffin top
“They usd to use it in my early day
“For such as went off young like sally grey
“He was a merry man & always free
“& stopt his work to throw a nail at me
“There Mary take you that he smild & said
“Twill help for yours in case you die a maid
“I passd it off for jokings mean no ill
“& I have kept it for her memory still
“Aye aye instead of joining in the throng
“Of merry faces & a wedding song
“Instead of seeing her a bride become
“I bore the pall up to her last long home
“& heard the old clerks mellancholy stave
“That sung the psalm bareheaded by her grave
“Life to a spiders web had wore & spun
“& een her hands if lifted to the sun
“Were both so wasted that to fancys view
“The light woud almost seem to glimer thro
“Thus dyd poor sally on her wedding day
“An april bud that could not see the may
“Nor did the cause from whence her cares begun
“Live long to mourn the evil he had done
“A year scarce past—god every evil sees
“Ere he was struck wi sickness & disease
“The small pox came that blight to girls & boys
“& spreading famine of a mothers joys

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“Waking its fears of danger far & wide
“But none save him throughout the village dyd
“Poor sallys parents who forgave the wrong
“Agreed to his last wishes right or wrong
“& close beside the church yards gravel way
“He lyes a schoolboys leap from sally grey
“I often stood to gaze upon the stone
“When ere I journeyd to the church alone
“Were gold wingd cherubs held a flowery wreath
“Over a prayer book open underneath
“Upon whose leaves was writ at her request
“In gilded letters ‘here the weary rest’
“Last spring one sabbath day I loiterd there
“Before the bells had chimd the hour of prayer
“Stopping as pity seemly did demand
“I wrapt my apron corner round my hand
“& pulld the nettles that had overgrown
“The verse & rambld half way up the stone
“My tale is growing fast but I must tell
“What in my mind will [n]ever cease to dwell
“Some people make a mock & laugh at dreams
“& call them shades were things so plainly seems
“& say tis silly as a maid to stand
“& let the gipsey cross her in the hand
“Well let folks laugh I think it not so well
“Wi joking ways on serious things to dwell
“I think dreams truths myself or mostly such
“& joseph in the bible thought as much
“Nay he the causes of such visions knew
“& pharoahs baker found his words too true
“All eyes may see it if they do but look
“Then who woud laugh & disbelieve the book
“The dream I have to tell which sally told
“Woud make ones flesh in dog days creep wi cold
“& as to proofs I think it needeth none
“Truth proves itself so listen till Ive done
“Once in our lives when follys did decieve

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“We made the dumb cake upon saint marks eve
“Sitting on thorns we scarcly dare to wait
“Ere twas half done we took it off the slate
“& walking backwards up the stairs to bed
“We thought one followd wi a sliving tread
“& sally startling faster wi the fright
“Burnt her loose capstring as she held the light
“She shriekd to see it & we spoild the cake
“For when folks do it nones alowd to spake
“Had we been still plain shadows of the men
“That were to court us woud have risen then
“But sally spoke & we no further knew
“Of what Ive heard old women vouch as true
“& sure I am we heard the stepping sound
“Of somthing stealing lightly oer the ground
“As one at ‘I spy’ sliveth gently on
“They seemd as wishing to approach unknown
“Just like cats stepping upon boarden floors
“But none were there wed turnd em out of doors
“We hastend into bed to fears repose
“& hid our faces underneath the cloaths
“Nor dare we stay to put the candle out
“But left it burning half the night about
“& dare not once unclose a waken eye
“Lest aught shoud come & push the curtains bye
“For we as was agreed wi parents leave
“Slept both together on that witches eve
“But I saw nothing worser then myself
“& heard what might be mice upon the shelf
“Tho sally dreamd & when she told it me
“Quakd like a winter leaf upon the tree
“& many a day it made her memory ach
“For she still fancyd she was wide awake
“She thought her lover came beside her bed
“& lookd in trouble & hung down his head
“& shook her hand & wi a heavy smile
“From out his pocket took a ring the while

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“Twoud fit no finger tho he tryd em all
“& dropt & broke to ashes in the fall
“& instantly she said she seemd to see
“Herself as plain as you appear to me
“Bend by his side as one thats weak & sick
“& aids the loss of strength upon a stick
“Wi face all pale & nought but skin & bone
“& yet she felt that it was like her own
“She vowd she saw them at the alter stand
“Plain as I see this knitting in my hand
“Both in a long dress wrapt from head to feet
“Like shadows folks in haunted places meet
“Molds seemd she said the alter steps to pave
“Mingld wi terrors like a new made grave
“Rust eaten nails & bones in pieces cleft
“By sextons spades & tarnishd letters left
“On breastplates which once buried names had spelt
“She saw all these & frighted as she felt
“She coud not wake & were the green cloth lay
“On th'alters table every sabbath day
“A black one hung & in full folds did wreath
“As if it hid a coffin underneath
“The bells seemd knolling too a heavy sound
“Like pots thats crackt or somthing under ground
“Or as the clock the hour in winter tells
“Muffld in snow they humd like passing bells
“She shriekd & woke me but she dare not name
“The cause of terror till the daylight came
“She often feard its end & were alas
“Has dismal dreams brought sadder proofs to pass
“I thought dreams truths let folks laugh as they will
“& if tis foolish I believe em still
“Last christmass eve when ye were at the door
“Whispering wi sweethearts your love secrets oer
“I took my glasses to amuse myself
“& reachd the bible down from off the shelf
“To read the text & look the psalms among

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“To find the one that at her grave was sung
“The place had long been doubld down before
“& much I wishd ye in to read it oer
“Your fathers read it to me many a time
“When ye were young & on our laps woud climb
“Nay keep your work tis not worth while to leave
“Ill sit & hear it on to morrow eve
“For even if the night woud time alow
“My hearts so sad I cannot hear it now
“Ive talkd till I have almost tird my tongue
“Folks say old womens tales are always long
“So here Ill end & like it as ye may
“I wish ye better luck then sally grey”
She ceasd her tale & snuffd the candle wick
Lifting it up from burning in the stick
That soon had faild to light her story out
Had she continued spinning it about
Then laid her knitting down & shook her head
& stoopd to stir the fire & talk of bed