The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley in ten volumes |
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THE RIVALS; OR THE SHOWMAN'S RUSE
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The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley | ||
1039
THE RIVALS; OR THE SHOWMAN'S RUSE
A TRAGI-COMEDY, IN ONE ACT
- Billy Miller The Rival
- Johnny Williams The Rival
- Tommy Wells Conspirator
PERSONS REPRESENTED
Tommy
[To Johnny]
Guess 'at Billy hain't got back,—
Can't see nothin' through the crack—
Can't hear nothin' neether—No!
... Thinks he's got the dandy show,
Don't he?
1040
[Scornfully]
'Course! but what I care?—
He hain't got no show in there!—
What's he got in there but that
Old hen, cooped up with a cat
An' a turkle, an' that thing
'At he calls his “circus-ring”?
What a “circus-ring”! I'd quit!
Bet mine's twic't as big as it!
Tommy
Yes, but you got no machine
W'at you bathe with, painted green,
With a string to work it, guess!
Johnny
[Contemptuously]
Folks don't bathe in circuses!—
Ladies comes to mine, you bet!
I' got seats where girls can set;
An' a dressin'-room, an' all,
Fixed up in my pony's stall—
Yes, an' I got carpet, too,
Fer the tumblers, an' a blue
Center-pole!
Tommy
Well, Billy, he's
Got a tight-rope an' trapeze,
1041
Head-first!
Johnny
Well, what's that to do—
Lightin' on a pile o' hay?
Hain't no actin' thataway!
Tommy
Don't care what you say, he draws
Bigger crowds than you do, 'cause
Sence he started up, I know
All the fellers says his show
Is the best-un!
Johnny
Yes, an' he
Better not tell things on me!
His old circus hain't no good!—
'Cause he's got the neighborhood
Down on me he thinks 'at I'm
Goin' to stand it all the time;
Thinks ist 'cause my Pa don't 'low
Me to fight, he's got me now,
An' can say I lie, an' call
Me ist anything at all!
Billy Miller thinks I am
'Feard to say 'at he says “dam”—
Yes, an' worser ones! an' I'm
1042
An' ef he don't shet his head
I'll tell worse 'an that he said
When he fighted Willie King—
An' got licked like ever'thing!—
Billy Miller better shin
Down his Daddy's lane ag'in,
Like a cowardy-calf, an' climb
In fer home another time!
Better—
[Here Billy leaps down from the loft upon his unsuspecting victim; and two minutes later, Johnny, with the half of a straw hat, a bleeding nose, and a straight rent across one trousers-knee, makes his inglorious—exit.]
The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley | ||