The Good Young Man.
Why is he? Why defaces he the fair page of
creation, and why is he to be continued? This
has never been explained; it is one of those dispensations
of Providence the design whereof is wrapped
in profoundest obscurity. The good young man is
perhaps not without excuse for his existence, but
society is without excuse for permitting it. At his
time of life to be “good” is to insult humanity.
Goodness is proper to the aged; it is their sole
glory; why should this milky stripling bring it into
disrepute? Why should he be permitted to defile
with the fat of his sleek locks a crown intended to
adorn the grizzled pow of his elders?
A young man may be manly, gentle, honourable,
noble, tender and true, and nobody will ever think of
calling him a good young man. Your good young
man is commonly a sneak, and is very nearly allied
to that other social pest, the “nice young lady.”
As applied to the immature male of our kind, the
adjective “good” seems to have been perverted
from its original and ordinary signification, and to
have acquired a dyslogistic one. It is a term of
reproach, and means, as nearly as may be,
“characterless.” That any one should submit to
have it applied to him is proof of the essential
cowardice of Virtue.
We believe the direst ill afflicting civilization is
the good young man. The next direst is his
natural and appointed mate, the nice young lady.
If the two might be tied neck and heels together
and flung into the sea, the land would be the fatter
for it.
