IN order to listen to music intelligently—or what is really much
more important—in order to give the appearance of listening to music
intelligently, it is necessary for the novice to master thoroughly two
fundamental facts.
The first, and most important of these, is that the letter "w" in
Russian is pronounced like "v"; the second, that Rachmaninoff has a
daughter at Vassar.
Not very difficult, surely—but it is remarkable
how much enjoyment one can get out of
music by the simple use of these two formulas.
With a little practise in their use, the veriest
tyro can bewilder her escort even though she
be herself so musically uninformed as to think
that the celeste is only used in connection with
Aïda, or that a minor triad is perhaps a young
wood nymph.
One other important fundamental is that enthusiasm should never
be expressed for any music written after 1870; by a careful observance
of this rule one will constantly experience that delightful satisfaction
which comes with finding one's opinions shared by the music critics in
the daily press.
