The Downing legends : Stories in Rhyme :: :: University of Virginia Library

Now Downing, in his Thirteenth Book,
Relates in noble terms the matter.
“I kinder hoped,” he says, “to cook
The goose of Satan to a tatter.
We had a hundred men, about,
With twenty wagon-loads of ladies,
Besides a whappin' younker rout
An' hounds enough to pin all Hades.
I sent the bacheldors ahead,
With orders strict to keep a-wabblin',
Expectin' soon to hear their lead
A-whizzin' through a yowpin' goblin.

“But common men, as ginrals know
Are ruther peaceful kind of cattle,
An' allays travel pesky slow
Whenever they go forth to battle.
Afore we'd journeyed very fur
Or Nipton's

[_]

Old seashore form of Neptune, sometimes used for Satan.

flames begun to blind us,
I found that every skirmisher
Was forty rod or more behind us.
Thereon I formed my army front
Accordin' to the law of natur:
The women first, to ketch the brunt;

The chaps who'd want to save 'em, later.
The better-halves an' gals, you ken,
Might use the shays for battle-chariots;
An that would stir the married men,
An' cheer the bacheldor Iscariots.

“The line was purty chirk at last,
Especially the dogs an' hosses,
An' rattled forrard middlin' fast,
Considerin' the stumps an' mosses,
Till finally we nighed the grove
Where Satan's deacons cut their capers,
All lookin' monstrous hot above,
As though the twigs were burnin' tapers.
I ranked my wagons thill to thill,
An' give the word to whip tremendous;
Then, whack, we cantered up the hill
As fast as hoofs an' wheels could send us.