The Downing legends : Stories in Rhyme :: :: University of Virginia Library

“Jest here I suddintly remember
That certain neighbors grumbled roundly
Because I didn't scoot up chember
An' switch my gipsy lassie soundly;
Believin' (very like with reason)
That she was queen of certain devils
Who sartinly would hold it treason
To bring her trouble by their revels;
An' holdin forth (perhaps correckly)

That sech an arnest kind of dealin'
U'd scart the 'tarnal coots direckly
An' hazed 'em out'n Shiloh squealin'.

“An here I'm druv to make confession,
Although it hurts like pullin' grinders;
But times there be of dark possession,
An' wiser men have worn the blinders.
The jade was sech a tearin' beauty,
An' looked so leetle like a sinner,
I couldn't squarely face my duty
An' say that Uncle Hob was in her.
I hate to larrup gals like cattle;
My heart preferred to resk a sally;
An' thus I soon declared for battle,
Though waged with all the Shadder Valley.

“So, after takin' drink an' vittle,
I trotted out to poke an' whittle.
An' now that flyin' generation
Of vipers throwed a transformation.

[_]

From “Threw a fit.”

They quit cahootin' round my gables
An' settled down like forty Babels,
A truly awful, howlin', squirmin',
Rambunkshus flock of pizen vermin,
Goats, tomcats, panters, anacunders,
Imps, dragons, spooks an' other wonders,
Who charged me on a tearin' gallop,
An' seemed resolved to have my scallop.

“The leader was a boar-constrictor,
Who opened six-feet-wide his picter,
Proposin', if I'm not mistaken,
To try the whole of Downing's bacon,

But never got a single swaller,
Because I sabred through his collar
An' left his serpentship in sections
That skipped in opposite directions.

“The next who offered me a banter
Was twenty foot or so of panter,
Who carmly ast himself to supper,
But got a slash from snoot to crupper,
That ruther cut the combat shorter,
Both halves a-bawlin' out for quarter.