 | Life and sayings of Mrs. Partington and others
of the family |  |
FUNERAL OBSTACLES.
“How solemn these funeral obstacles is!” said Mrs.
Partington, as she looked down from an upper chamber
window, on the day of a mock funeral of one of the
presidents. She took off her specs to wipe the moisture
from their discs, tapped her box mournfully to the
measured time of the distant drum, and looked anxiously
down the street, to catch the first glimpse of the funeral
train. “Here it comes at last,” quoth she, “with the
soldiers all playing with muzzled drums, and their flags
flying at half-mast. Is that the catastrophe?” whispered
she of a gentleman near her.
“That is the catafalque, madam,” replied he.
“Well, well,” said she, “no matter; I knowed there
was a cat about it, and I did n't know but it might be a
cataplasm. Will you tell me when the artillery flies
over, that come on here to tend the funeral?”
“Good gracious, madam!” cried he testily, “they
don't fly. They are artillery men on horseback, merely.”
“Dear me!” replied she, “I thought it was one of
the wings of the army, and flew. How easy it is to get
mistaken!”
She pensively gazed upon the pageant that slowly
passed before her.
“What a pity it is,” said she, “that we don't vally
people till arter they are dead; but then what paragorics
we pour upon them!”
She here paused; a silence pervaded the chamber; the
procession had passed, the company had departed, and
two hours after the old lady was found still sitting by
the open window fast asleep. So powerful is grief!
| Life and sayings of Mrs. Partington and others
of the family | |