University of Virginia Library

Scena quarta.

Enter Holdfast, Stargaze, and Milliscent.
Stargaze.
Not waite upon my Lady?

Holdfast.
Nor come at her,
You finde it not in your Alminack.

Milliscent.
Nor I have licence
To bring her breakfast.

Holdfast.
My new master hath
Decreed this for a fasting day. She hath feasted long
And after a carnivale Lent ever follows.

Milliscent.
Give me the key of her ward-robe. You'l repent this:
I must know what Gown shee'l wear;

Holdfast.
You are mistaken,
Dame president of the sweet meates. shee and her daughters
Are turn'd Philosophers, and must carry all.
Their wealth about em. They have cloaths lai'd in their chamber,
If they please to put em on, and without help too,
Or they may walk naked. You look M. Stargaze
As you had seen a strange comet, and had now foretold,
The end of the world, and on what day. And you,
As the wasps had broke into the galley-pots,
And eaten up your Apricocks.

Within Lady.
Stargazer. Milliscent.

Milliscent.
My Ladyes voice.

Holdfast.
Stir not, you are confin'd here.
Your Ladiship may approach them if you please,
But they are bound in this circle.

Within Lady.
Mine own bees
Rebell against me. When my kind brother knows this
I will be so reveng'd.

Holdfast.
The world's well alterd.
Hee's your kind brother now. but yesterday
Your slave and jesting-stock.

Enter Lady, Anne, Mary, in course habit weeping.
Milliscent.
What witch hath transform'd you?

Starg.
Is this the glorious shape your cheating brother
Promis'd you should appear in?

Milliscent.
My young Ladies
In buffin gowns, and green aprons! tear'em off,
Rather shew all then be seen thus.

Holdfast.
'Tis more comly
I wis then their other whim-whams.

Millis.
A french hood too;
Now 'tis out of fashion, a fools cap would shew better

Lady.
We are fool'd indeed, by whose command are we us'd thus?

Enter Luke.
Holds.
Here he comes that can best resolve you.

Lady.
O good brother!
Do you thus preserve your protestation to me?
Can Queens envy this habit? or did Juno
E're feast in such a shape?

Anne.
You talk'd of Hebe,
Of Iris, and I know not what; but were they
Dres'd as we are; They were sure some Chandlers daughters
Bleaching linnen in Moor-fields.

Mary.
Or Exchange-wenches,
Comming from eating pudding-pies on a Sunday
At Pemlico, or Islington.

Luke.
Save you Sister.
I now dare style you so: you were before
Too glorious to be look'd on; now you appear
Like a City Matron, and my pretty Neeces
Such things as were born, and bred there. Why should you ape
The fashions of Court-Ladies? whose high titles
And pedegrees of long descent, give warrant
For their superfluous braverie? 'twas monstrous:
Till now you ne're look'd lovely.

Lady.
Is this spoken
In scorn?

Luke.
Fie, no, with judgment. I make good
My promise, and now shew you like your selvs,
In your own naturall shapes, and stand resolv'd
You shall continue so.

Lady.
It is confess'd Sir.

Luke.
Sir! Sirrah. Use your old phrase, I can bear it.

Lady.
That if you please forgotten. We acknowledge
We have deserv'd ill from you, yet despair not;
Though we are at your disposure, you'l maintain us
Like your brothers wife, and daughters.

Luke.
'Tis my purpose.

Lady.
And not make us ridiculous.

Luke.
Admir'd rather,
As fair examples for our proud City dames,
And their proud brood to imitate: do not frown
If you do, I laugh, and glory that I have
The power in you to scourge a generall vice,
And rise up a new Satyrist: but hear gently,
And in a gentle phrase I'le reprehend
Your late disguis'd deformity, and cry up
This decency, and neatnesse, with th'advantage
You shall receive by't.

Lady.
We are bound to hear you.

Luke.
With a soul inclin'd to learn. Your father was
An honest Country farmer. Good-man Humble,
By his neighbours ne're call'd master. Did your pride
Descend from him? but let that passe: your fortune,
Or rather your husbands industry, advanc'd you
To the rank of a Merchants wife. He made a Knight,
And your sweet mistris-ship, Ladyfi'd; you wore
Sattin on solemn days, a chain of gold,
A Velvet hood, rich borders, and somtimes
A dainty Miniver cap, a silver pin
Headed with a pearl worth three-pence, and thus far
You were priviledg'd, and no man envi'd it,
It being for the Cities honour, that
There should be a distinction between
The Wife of a Patritian, and Plebean.

Millis.
Pray you leave preaching, or choose some other text;
Your Rhetorick is too moving, for it makes
Your auditory weep.

Luke.
Peace, chattering Mag-pie,
I'le treat of you anon: but when the height
And dignity of Londons blessings grew
Contemptible, and the name Lady Maioress
Became a by-word, and you scorn'd the means
By which you were rais'd, my brothers fond indulgence
Giving the reigns too't; and no object pleas'd you
But the glittering pomp, and bravery of the Court.
What a strange, nay monstrous Metamorphosis follow'd!
No English workman then could please your fancy;
The French, and Tuscan dresse your whole discourse;
This Baud to prodigality entertain'd
To buz into your ears, what shape this Countesse
Appear'd in the last mask; and how it drew
The young Lords eyes upon her; and this usher
Succeeded in the eldest prentices place
To walk before you.

Lady.
Pray you end.

Holdfast.
Proceed Sir,
I could fast almost a prentiship to hear you.
You touch'em so to the quick.

Luke.
Then as I said,
The reverend hood cast off, your borrow'd hair
Powder'd, and curl'd, was by your dressers art
Form'd like a Coronet, hang'd with diamonds,
And the richest Orient pearl: Your Carkanets
That did adorn your neck of equall value:
Your Hungerland bands, and Spanish quellio russes:
Great Lords and Ladies feasted to survey
Embroider'd petticoats: and sicknesse fain'd
That your night rayls of forty pounds a piece
Might be seen with envy of the visitants;
Rich pantables in ostentation shown,
And roses worth a family; you were serv'd in plate;
Stir'd not a foot without your Coach. And going
To Church not for devotion, but to shew
Your pomp, you were tickl'd when the beggars cry'd
Heaven save your honour, this idolatrie
Paid to a painted room.

Holdfast.
Nay, you have reason
To blubber all of you

Luke.
And when you lay
In child-bed, at the Christning of this minx,
I well remember it, as you had been
An absolute princess, since they have no more,
Three severall chambers hung. The first with Arras,
And that for waiters; the second Crimson Sattin
For the meaner sort of guests; the third of Skarlet,
Of the rich Tirian dy; a Canopie
To cover the brats cradle: you in state
Like Pompie's Julia.

Lady.
No more I pray you.

Luke.
Of this be sure you shall not. I'le cut off
What ever is exorbitant in you,
Whil'st the Act Plays, the Footstep, little Table, and Arras hung up for the Musicians.
Or in your Daughters and reduce you to
Your naturall forms, and habits: not in revenge
Of your base usage of me, but to fright
Others by your example: 'Tis decree'd
You shall serve one another, for I will
Allow no waiter to you. Out of doors
With these uselest drones,

Holdfast.
Will you pack?

Milliscent.
Not till I have
My truncks along with me.

Luke.
Not a rag, you came
Hither without a box.

Stargaze.
You'l shew to me
I hope Sir more compassion.

Holdfast.
'Troth I'le be
Thus far a suitor for him. He hath printed
An Almanack for this year at his own charge,
Let him have th'impression with him to set up with.

Luke.
For once I'le be intreated: let it be
Thrown to him out of the window.

Stargaze.
O cursed Stars
That raign'd at my nativity! how have you cheated
Your poor observer.

Anne.
Must we part in tears?

Mary.
Farewell, good Milliscent.

Lady.
I am sick, and meet with
A rough Physician. O my pride! and scorn!
How justly am I punish'd!

Mary.
Now we suffer
For our stubbornnesse and disobedience
To our good father.

Anne.
And the base conditions,
We impos'd upon our Suitors.

Luke.
Get you in,
And Catterwall in a corner.

Lady.
There's no contending.

Lady, Anne. Mary, go off at one door; Stargaze and Millise. at the other.
Luke.
How lik'st thou my carriage, Holdfast?

Holdfast.
Well in some part,
But it rellishes I know not how, a little
Of too much tyranny.

Luke.
Thou art a fool:
Hee's cruel to himself, that dares not be
Severe to those that us'd him cruelly.

Exeunt.