LETTER XVIII.
TO MR. CHARLES DEIGHTON.
New-Haven.
Do you know, Charles, that I have
commenced lover? I was always a general one;
but now I am somewhat particular. I shall be
the more interested, as I am likely to meet with
difficulties; and it is the glory of a rake, as
well as a christian to combat obstacles. This
same Eliza, of whom I have told you, has really
made more impression on my heart, than I was
aware of; or than the sex, take them as they rise,
are wont to do. But she is besieged by a priest
(a likely lad though.) I know not how it is,
but they are commonly successful with the
girls, even the gayest of them. This one, too,
has the interest of all her friends, as I am told.
I called yesterday, at General Richman's, and
found this pair together, apparently too happy in
each other's society for my wishes. I must own,
that I felt a glow of jealousy, which I never experienced
before; and vowed revenge for the
pain it gave me, though but momentary. Yet
Eliza's reception of me was visibly cordial; nay,
I fancied my company as pleasing to her as that
which she had before. I tarried not long, but left
him to the enjoyment of that pleasure which I flatter
myself will be short-lived. O, I have another
plan in my head; a plan of necessity, which,
you know, is the mother of invention. It is
this: I am very much courted and caressed by
the family of Mr. Lawrence, a man of large
property in this neighborhood. He has only
one child; a daughter, with whom I imagine
the old folks intend to shackle me in the bonds
of matrimony. The girl looks very well. She
has no soul though, that I can discover. She
is heiress, nevertheless, to a great fortune; and
that is all the soul I with for in a wife. In truth,
Charles, I know of no other way to mend my
circumstances. But lisp not a word of my embarrassments
for your life. Show and equipage
are my hobby-horse; and if any female wish to
share them with me, and will furnish me with the
means of supporting them, I have no objection.
Could I conform to the sober rules of wedded
life, and renounce those dear enjoyments of dissipation,
in which I have so long indulged, I
know not the lady in the world with whom I
would sooner form a connection of this sort
than with Eliza Wharton. But it will never do.
If my fortune, or hers were better, I would risk
a union; but as they are, no idea of the kind
can be admitted. I shall endeavor, notwithstanding,
to enjoy her company as long as possible.
Though I cannot possess her wholly myself,
I will not tamely see her the property of
another.
I am now going to call at General Richman's,
in hopes of an opportunity to profess my devotion
to her. I know I am not a welcome
visitor to the family; but I am independent of
their censure or esteem, and mean to act accordingly.
