 | The honest ghost |  |
94
A Trapanner.
Look to your Brain-pans, Boyes;—here comes a Traine
Of Roysting-Rufflers that are knaves in graine.
No corner can secure you; they'l rush in
And strippe the downy Gosling to his Skin.
Yet they'l accost you with a civile greet,
And with Shark-cringing congies brush your feet.
Nay, they'l incounter you with curt'sies too,
Before they practise what they meane to doe.
— Pray Sir excuse us that by chance are come
In this intrusive manner to your roome.
But we'll redeeme our error:—Drawer bring
Bottells of Sack drain'd from th'Hesperian Spring,
Where th'Watchfull Sisters kept their Sentinall;
—Quick, Rogue, wee cannot brook a second call.
Meane while this wilke, who neere saw any clyme,
But his Dads pale, or pantry all his time:
Nor ever view'd Luds-Tarases before,
Begins to tremble when they 'gin to rore.
A feverish qualme surprizeth ev'ry part,
His vitall heat playes rebell to his heart;
His chilled senses, cold as any stone,
Partakes no other itch but to be gone:
But he findes Remora's; He scapes not so,
Whole troups of healths come pealing on a row.
This to this Princes Hero; this to that
Enamel'd fancy Dangling on his hat;
This to his Bracelet; This to that choyce String
Impales his hayre; This to his Diamond ring;
—This to his Gippo; to his Agget watch;
This to his Tuck charg'd with a double hatch;
This to the Microcosme of this spruce youth,
With his auspicious welcome to the South.
Of Roysting-Rufflers that are knaves in graine.
No corner can secure you; they'l rush in
And strippe the downy Gosling to his Skin.
Yet they'l accost you with a civile greet,
And with Shark-cringing congies brush your feet.
Nay, they'l incounter you with curt'sies too,
Before they practise what they meane to doe.
— Pray Sir excuse us that by chance are come
In this intrusive manner to your roome.
But we'll redeeme our error:—Drawer bring
Bottells of Sack drain'd from th'Hesperian Spring,
Where th'Watchfull Sisters kept their Sentinall;
—Quick, Rogue, wee cannot brook a second call.
Meane while this wilke, who neere saw any clyme,
But his Dads pale, or pantry all his time:
95
Begins to tremble when they 'gin to rore.
A feverish qualme surprizeth ev'ry part,
His vitall heat playes rebell to his heart;
His chilled senses, cold as any stone,
Partakes no other itch but to be gone:
But he findes Remora's; He scapes not so,
Whole troups of healths come pealing on a row.
This to this Princes Hero; this to that
Enamel'd fancy Dangling on his hat;
This to his Bracelet; This to that choyce String
Impales his hayre; This to his Diamond ring;
—This to his Gippo; to his Agget watch;
This to his Tuck charg'd with a double hatch;
This to the Microcosme of this spruce youth,
With his auspicious welcome to the South.
Round run these Healths, farre rounder runs his braine,
Though surfeit sick, 'tis folly to complaine.
And now this birth growne full and perfect too,
Which yet aspir'd but to an Embrio:
A gaudy-giddy-giglet is convei'd,
A virgin pure, as any Hackney Maid,
Thick dawb'd with Cerusse, Stibium, & Vermillion,
Like Ericina's amorous Pavilion;
A rare sense-seazing Tweake, whose Speaking eyes
And Spintrian art, compleat this Enterprise.
For when they cannot presse him to offence,
They must commence a quarrell by pretence.
But these no more his edglesse fancy please
Then Lais Lures did cold Zenocrates.
Yet left he must be to this Circes charms
Like to a Lambkin in a Tigres arms.
For his seer pulse, though nought be wrought upon,
These Blades rush in, as if the Feat were don,
And in this sort accoast him:—“'Slid my Wife!
“Canst thou redeeme her honour, with thy life?
“My Sister, says another! Leave't to me,
“It is a Staine laid on my familie.
“My Cozen, sayes a third!—I'le flea his Skin,
“And pound him into mummey for his Sin.
“1. Actæon me!
“2. Distaine my antient house!
“3. Corrupt my Cozin!—Heark Boys, a carouse
“Shall quart it in his blood,
“1. I'le second it!
“And expiate what folly did commit.
“Who could have thought this downy Lapwing would
“To such extreams his reputation sold?
“But we shall prune his wings, and seere his crest,
“And leave him ne're a feather to his Nest.
The Dwindling Shallop in this grand dispute
Sits silent all the while as any Mute,
Reft both of sense and accent: and must dy
Were no compass'onat Complice standing by
To soften their resolve: Compose this strife
By begging pardon for this Wigeons life.
The Motion's made; and they incline unto 't,
So they may plunder Him from head to foot:
His substance hee's contented to forgoe,
To save his life, and hold't a curt'sy too.
“1. This Beaver, says the first, falls to my due;
“2. This Diamond shall to my lot accrue;
“3. This Scarlet Gippo and his Agget-Watch
“Fall to my share, they may advance my Match;
“4. His Belt and Tuck are mine;
“5. His Suit I claime
To hang up for an Ensigne in Long-lane.
The act's perform'd; the weakest goes to wall,
The Naked man is left, to pay for all.
No Bugle Blew, nor frisking Titire tu
Could be compared to this frontlesse Cru.
No Land-sharke of such metall, in our Ile
As this TRA-PANNER:—eye his State and Style.
Others can play the Cheats, but short of these
Who shroud their shame, by shamelesse Dabrides:
And make their Doxies Agents, to secure
Their subtill Projects with a sugred Lure.
Though surfeit sick, 'tis folly to complaine.
And now this birth growne full and perfect too,
Which yet aspir'd but to an Embrio:
A gaudy-giddy-giglet is convei'd,
A virgin pure, as any Hackney Maid,
Thick dawb'd with Cerusse, Stibium, & Vermillion,
Like Ericina's amorous Pavilion;
A rare sense-seazing Tweake, whose Speaking eyes
And Spintrian art, compleat this Enterprise.
For when they cannot presse him to offence,
They must commence a quarrell by pretence.
96
Then Lais Lures did cold Zenocrates.
Yet left he must be to this Circes charms
Like to a Lambkin in a Tigres arms.
For his seer pulse, though nought be wrought upon,
These Blades rush in, as if the Feat were don,
And in this sort accoast him:—“'Slid my Wife!
“Canst thou redeeme her honour, with thy life?
“My Sister, says another! Leave't to me,
“It is a Staine laid on my familie.
“My Cozen, sayes a third!—I'le flea his Skin,
“And pound him into mummey for his Sin.
“1. Actæon me!
“2. Distaine my antient house!
“3. Corrupt my Cozin!—Heark Boys, a carouse
“Shall quart it in his blood,
“1. I'le second it!
“And expiate what folly did commit.
“Who could have thought this downy Lapwing would
“To such extreams his reputation sold?
“But we shall prune his wings, and seere his crest,
“And leave him ne're a feather to his Nest.
The Dwindling Shallop in this grand dispute
Sits silent all the while as any Mute,
97
Were no compass'onat Complice standing by
To soften their resolve: Compose this strife
By begging pardon for this Wigeons life.
The Motion's made; and they incline unto 't,
So they may plunder Him from head to foot:
His substance hee's contented to forgoe,
To save his life, and hold't a curt'sy too.
“1. This Beaver, says the first, falls to my due;
“2. This Diamond shall to my lot accrue;
“3. This Scarlet Gippo and his Agget-Watch
“Fall to my share, they may advance my Match;
“4. His Belt and Tuck are mine;
“5. His Suit I claime
To hang up for an Ensigne in Long-lane.
The act's perform'd; the weakest goes to wall,
The Naked man is left, to pay for all.
No Bugle Blew, nor frisking Titire tu
Could be compared to this frontlesse Cru.
No Land-sharke of such metall, in our Ile
As this TRA-PANNER:—eye his State and Style.
Others can play the Cheats, but short of these
Who shroud their shame, by shamelesse Dabrides:
And make their Doxies Agents, to secure
Their subtill Projects with a sugred Lure.
The Hesperian Sisters, who kept their constant Sentinall over those golden Apples, which Alcides after took away.
| The honest ghost | |