University of Virginia Library

12. CHAP. XII.

THE Captain and the two on foot,
journeyed from bence together,
without any material incident falling out,
or any thing to attract the attention; save
what arose from the sparring of the aroſe">arose from the sparring of the bog-troppers.
This took place on the ground
of irreligion in Teague, and disregard for
the covenants; but more especially on a
difference of opinion with regard to the
desert of their respective services, in the
late rencounter with the highway-men,
as they were disposed to call them; Teague
alledging that he had intimidated them
by grinning, and wry mouths; Duncan
claiming the credit by the display of his
cudgel. The Captain had a good deal of
trouble, in parrying a decision of their respective
pretensions; or adjusting them in
such a manner as to satisfy both. They
were likely sometimes to come to blows.
He was relieved, however, by the approach
of

of the revenue officer to his district, into
which they now began to enter.

After some days peregrination through
it, having made choice of a central situation,
it was thought proper to open an inspection
office, which was done by hiring
a house, and writing over the door, Inspection
office of Survey, No. &c.

Suspicion had existed on the part of
the government, that opposition would be
made in this district to the opening an
office; or at least to the collection of the
revenue. These were founded not only in
reports of threats of that nature; but in
some instances of actual violence, clandestinely
committed on deputies. It was
for this reason, amongst others, that
the President had made choice of O'Regan,
a stout and resolute man, as he
thought him, with a shelalah in his hand,
who could repel occasional insults. So far
these suspicions appeared to be without
foundation; the officer having conspicuously
traversed the district, and opened an
office without molestation.

The Captain was now about to return
home, having seen the establishment of his
ward in an office under government. But
before he parted with him, he thought it
not

not amiss to give him lessons with regard
to the discharge of his duty in his present
appointment. With this view, drawing
him into a walk the second day, a small
distance from the village, he began his lecture
in the following words:

Teague, said he, for I am still in the
habit of giving you that appellation, not
having yet ascertained whether you are to
be stiled, your worship, your honour, or
your reverence; or at least not having yet
been accustomed to add these epithets;
Teague, I say, you are now advanced
to great dignity; a limb of the executive
of the union. It is true, your department
is ministerial. Nevertheless it requires
the wisdom of the head to conduct it. But
the integrity of the heart is the great
object to be regarded. Keep your
hands from bribes; and by a delicate impartiality
towards all, even from the suspicion
of taking them. I should regret
indeed after all the pains I have taken in
sitting you for an office, and contributing
to your appointment, to hear of an impeachment
against you, for a misdemeanor
in that office. By conducting yourself
with a scrupulous honour and pure
morality in your present trust, the way is
open

open to a higher grade of advancement;
and there is no kind of doubt, but that in
due time it will be attainable. The President
of the United States, from whom
you have received your commission, is said
to have the virtue, or rather the excess of
one, never to abandon the person whom
he has once taken up; or at least to carry
his attachment to an extreme of reluctance
in that particular; whether owing to great
slowness in conceiving unfavourably of
any one; or to pride of mind, in an unwillingness
to have it thought that his
judgment could be fallible. You will
have an advantage here; but at the same
time there is an ultimate point in this, as
in all things, beyond which it is impossible
to preserve a man. Bear this in mind,
and be honest, attentive, and faithful in
your duty, and let it be said of you, that
you have shewn yourself a good citizen.

Just at this instant a noise was heard,
and, looking up, a crowd of people were
discovered at a considerable distance, advancing
towards them, but with acclamations
that began to be heard. They were
dragging a piece of timber of considerable
length, which appeared to be just hewn
from the woods; and was the natural stem
of

of a small tree, cut down from the stump,
and the bark stripped off. At the same
time a couple of pack-horses were driven
along, which appeared to be loaded with
beds, and pillow cases.

The Captain was led to believe that
these were a number of the country people,
who having heard of the revenue officer
coming to his district, had come forward
to pay their respects to him, and
to receive him with that gratulation which
is common to honest but illiterate people,
in the first paroxysms of their transport.
Having understood that country to be
chiefly peopled with the descendants of the
Irish, or with Irish emigrants themselves,
he had supposed that hearing the new officer
was a countryman, they had been carried
forward, with such zeal to receive
him, with huzzaing and tumult. On this
occasion, he thought it not amiss to turn
the conversation; and to prepare the mind
and the manners of the deputy for this
scene, which being unusual, might disconcert
and embarrass him.

Teague, said he, it is not less difficult
to preserve equanimity in a prosperous situation,
than to sustain with fortitude a depression
of fortune. These people, I perceive,
ceive,

ceive, in a flow of mind are coming forward,
to express, with warmth, the honest,
but irregular sallies of their joy, on
your arrival amongst them. It was usual
in the provinces under the Roman republic,
when a Questor, of whom a favourable
impression had preceded, was about to
come amongst them. It is a pleasing, but
a transient felicity, and a wise man will
not count too much upon it. For popular
favour is unstable to a proverb. These
very people in the course of a twelve-month,
if you displease them, may shout
as loud at your degradation, and removal
from dignity. At the same time, this
ought not to lead you to be indifferent, or
at least to seem so, to their well-meant expressions
of favour at present; much less to
affect a contempt, or even a neglect of
them. A medium of ease and gracefulness
in receiving their advance, and answering
their address, whether it be a rustic orator
in an extempore harrangue, or some
scholar of the academy, or school-master,
they may have have prevailed upon to draw
up a speech, and read it to you. There is
no manner of doubt, but the President of
the United States, may have been a thousand
times embarrassed with the multitude
of
of addresses delivered, or presented, to
him; and it required no small patience
and fortitude to sustain them. Yet it has
been remarked, that he has received them
all with complacency; shewing himself
neither elevated with the praise, nor irritated
with the intrusion. And it is but
reasonable, and what a benevolent man
would indulge; for it is a happiness to
these creatures, to give themselves the opportunity
of being distinguished in this
manner.

Duncan who had heard a rumour in the
village of what was going forward, had in
the mean time come up, and understanding
from the last words of the Captain
what had been the drift of his conversation
with Teague, and discovering his mistake,
interrupted him at this place. Captain,
said he, ye need na be cowshuning him against
applause, and popularity, and the
turning o' the head, wi' praise, and guid
usage: for I doubt muckle if it comes to
that wi' him yet. I wad rather suspect that
these folks have na guid will towards him.
I dinna ken what they mean to do wi'
him, but if a body might guess frae the
bed ye see there on the poney's back, they
mean to toss him in a blanker. But if it
were

were to be judged frae the tree they hae
trailing after them, I wad suppose they
mean to make a hanging matter o' it, and
take his life a' the gether. There is na
doubt but they are coming in a mob, to
make a seizure o' the gauger, and the
talk o' the town is o' a punishment I dinna
understand, o' tarring and feathering. I
have heard o' the stocks, and the gallows,
and drowning like a witch, but I never
heard o' the like o' that in Scotland. I have
heard o' tarring the sheep, to keep them
frae the rot, but I never heard o' tarring
a human creature. May be they mean to
put it on his nose, to hinder him frae smelling
their whiskey. I see they got a keg o't
there in their rear, drawn upon a sled; at
least, I suppose it to be whisky they hae in
that keg, to take a dram, as they gae on
wi the frolic; unless it be the tar that they
talk of to put upon the officer.

This last conjecture was the true one.
For it was tar; and the stem of a tree
which they drew, was what is called a liberty
pole, which they were about to erect,
in order to dance round it, with hallooing,
and the whoop of exultation.

The calvacade now approaching, they
began

began to cast their eyes towards the groupe
of the three as they stood together.

By de holy faders, said Teague, I see
de have deir looks upon me. De look as
wild as de White Boys, or de Hearts of
Oak in Ireland. By de holy apostles, dere
is no fighting wid pitch forks; we shall be
kilt, and murdered into de bargain.

Teague, said the Captain, recollect that
you are an officer of government, and it
becomes you to support its dignity, not
betraying unmanly fear, but sustaining
the violence even of a mob itself with fortitude.

Fait, and I had rader be no officer at
all, said Teague, if dis is de way de paple
get out o' dair senses in dis country.
Take de office yourshelf; the devil burn
me, but I shall be after laying it down, as
fast as I ever took it up, if dis is to come
of it; to be hooted at like a wild baste,
and shot, and hanged upon a tree, like a
squirrel, or a Pady from Cork, when de
foolish boys hang him upon the 17th of
March, with potatoes about his neck, to
make sun o' de Irish. I scorn to be choaked
before I am dead; de devil burn de
office for me, I'l have none of it. I can take
my Bible oath, and swear upon de holy
cross

cross, dat I am no officer. By shaint Patrick,
and ifdere are any Irish boys, amongst
dem I would rather join wid dem. What is
de government with offices to a son o'd a
whore dat is choaked, and cannot spake to
his acquaintance in dis world. By de holy,
apostles, I am no officer; I just took it for,
a frolic as I was coming up de road, and;
you may be officer yourself, and good
luck wid de commission, Captain; I shall
have noting to do wid it.

At this instant the advancing croud;
raised a loud shout, crying, Liberty and
no excise, liberty and no excise; down with
all excise officers.

Teague began to tremble, and to sculk
behind the Captain. By de holy vater o'
de confession, said he, dey are like de favages,
dey have deir eyes upon me, I shall
be scalped; I shall be kilt and have de hair
off my head, like a wolf or a shape. God
love you, Captain, spake a good word to
dem, and tell dem a good story; or by de
Christian church, I shall be eat up like a
toad, or a wild baste in de forests.

The bog-trotter was right; for this moment,
they had got their eyes upon the
groupe; and began to distinguish him as
the officer of the revenue. An exact description
scrip-

had been given them, of his person
and appearance; for these people
had their correspondents, even at the feat
of government; and travellers, moreover,
had recognised him, and given an account
of his physiognomy, and apparel.

There he is, there he is, was the language;
the rescally excise officer; we
shall soon take care of him. He is of the
name of O'Regan, is he? We shall O'Regan
him in a short time.

The devil burn me, if I am de excise
officer, said Teague. It is all a mistake
gentlemen. It is true I was offered the
commission; but the Captain here knows
dat I would not take it. It is dis Scotchman
that is the officer. By my shoul, you
may tar and feather him, and welcome.

No, said the Captain stepping forward,
no, gentlemen: for so I yet call you;
though the menaces which you express,
and the appearance of force which your
preparations exhibit, depart from the desert
of that appelation. Nevertheless, as
there is still a probability of arresting violence,
and reclaiming you from the error
of your meditated acts, I address you with
the epithet of gentlemen. You are not
mistaken in your designation of the officer
of

of the revenue, though he has not the
cundour, to avow himself; but would
meanly subject a fellow bog-trotter to the
odium and the risk; an act of which, after
all the pains that have been taken of
his education, to impress him with sentiments
of truth and honour, I am greatly
ashamed. No, Gentlemen, I am unwilling
to deceive you, or that the meditated injury
should fall on him, who if he has
not the honour of the office, ought not to
bear the occasional disadvantage: I am
ready to acknowledge and avow, nor shall
these wry faces, and contorsions of body,
which you observe in the red-headed man,
prevent me; that he is the bona fide, actual
excise officer. Nevertheless, gentlemen,
let me expostulate with you on his behalf.
Let me endeavour to save him from your
odium, not by falsehood, but by reason.
Is it not a principle of that republican government
which you have established, that
the will of the majority shall govern; and
has not the will of the majority of the United
States enacted this law? will—

By this time, they had sunk the but end
of the sapling in the hole dug for it, and
it stood erect with a flag displayed in the
air, and was called a Liberty Pole. The
beds

beds, and pillow cases had been cut open,
and were brought forward. A committee
had been appointed to conduct the operation.
It was while they were occupied in
doing this, that the Captain had without
interruption gone on in making his harangue.
But these things being now adjusted,
a principal person of the committee
came forward, just at the last words of the
Captain.

The will of the majority, said he; yes,
faith; the will of the majority shall govern.
It is right that it should be the
case. We know the excise officer very
well. Come lay hands upon him.

Guid folk, said Duncan, I am no the
gauger, it is true; nor am I a friend to
the excise law, though I came in company
wi' the officer; nevertheless I dinna
approve o' this, o' your dinging down the
government. For what is it but dinging
down the government to act against the
laws. Did ye never read i' the Bible, that
rebellion is warse than witchcraft? Did ye
never read o' how many lairds, and dukes,
were hanged in Scotland lang ago, for
rebellion? when the government comes to
take this up, ye sal all be made out rebels,
and hanged. Ye had better think what
ye

ye are about. Ye dinna gie fair play. If ye
want to fight, and ony o' ye will turn out
wi' me, I shall take a turn wi' him; and
no just jump upon a man a' in ae lump,
like a parcel o' tinklers at a fair.

The committee had paid no attention to
this harangue; but had in the mean time
seized Teague, and conveyed him to a
cart, in which the keg of tar had been
placed. The operation had commenced
amidst the vociferation of the bog-trotter,
crossing himself, and preparing for
purgatory. They had stripped him of his
vestments, and pouring the tar upon his
naked body, emptied at the same time a
bed of feathers on his head, which adhering
to the viscous fluid, gave him the appearance
of a wild fowl of the forest. The cart being
driven off with the prisoner in this
state, a great part of the mob accompanied,
with the usual exclamation of “Liberty,
and no excise law. Down with all
excise officers.”CHAP