Modern chivalry containing the adventures of Captain John Farrago, and Teague Oregan, his servant |
 | 1. | BOOK I. |
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 | Modern chivalry |  |
BOOK I.
1. CHAP. I.
TEAGUE having thus departed, it became
the Captain to look out for another
servant; and deliberating on this subject,
Mr. M`Donald the Scotch gentleman,
of whom we have before spoken, happening
to enter, the Captain explained to
him the circumstance, and made enquiries
with regard to his knowledge of any one
that chose to be employed in this way, and
might be fit for the service. Said Mr.
M`Donald, I ken a lad right weel of the
name o' Duncan Ferguson, frae about
Perth in Scotland, that is trusty and vera
fit to wait upon a gentleman, except it be
that he may gie ye o'er muckle trouble about
religion, having had a vera strict education
i' the presbytery; gin ye can put
up wie that, I fal warrant him honest, and
vera
take guid care of your horse. He is about
thirty years of age, and has been a guid
deal in service, and knows what it is to
wait on guid houses, in his ain kintra; I
dina ken how he may suit all places in these
parts; but wie a man of your judgment,
I think he may do vera weel.
The Captain thanked him for the information;
and having conceived a good opinion
of Mr. M`Donald's integrity and
sense, he was willing to take the young
man upon the recommendation he had given.
Accordingly he being sent for by Mr.
M`Donald, the North Briton came, and
presented himself to the Captain. The
wages of his service being agreed upon, he
entered on his functions the same day; and
in a short time the Captain having paid his
bills in the city, set out with Duncan on
the same rout with Teague.CHAP
2. CHAP. II.
DUNCAN in like manner with Teague
had to walk on foot, for the
Captain could not afford to purchase another
horse, more especially as he had considerably
exhausted his finances, by the late
equipment of Teague. But even could he
have made it convenient to have increased
his cavalry, the expences of travelling
would have been increased, which he could
not also well afford; or which it would
not have been within the limits of a discreet
economy to have incurred. For travelling
slowly, the servant could without
weariness equal the pace of his master on
horse-back. Besides, it gave diversity, and
had more the air of ancient custom, than
being both mounted. It was in this manner,
the Gauls who fought with Cæsar equipped
their dragoons, as we learn from
the Commentaries; and also the Numidian
horse under Jugurtha, as we learn from
salust
who sometimes assisted himself by the mane
of the quardruped in running; but was at
all times considered as attached to the
rider, and ready to subserve him in battle.
The Scotchman, moreover, had but a light
luggage to carry; being nothing more
than a couple of shirts, a pair of stockings,
a Kilmarnock cap, a Confession of Faith,
Satan's invisible kingdom discovered, and
Crookshank's history of the Covenanters.
It was upon the topic of religion that the
conversation first turned, Duncan asking
the Captain of what denomination he was.
I am denominated Captain, said he; but
my name is John Farrago, though I have
had other epithets occasionally given me by
the people amongst whom I have happened
to sojourn, especially since my last setting
out on my travels, after the manner of the
antient chevaliers. I have been called the
modern Don Quixotte, on account of the
eccentricity of my rambles, or the singularity
which they conceive themselves to
discover in my conversation and manner.
I have been called the Knight of the single
Horse, having but one myself, and none for
my attendant; in this particular unlike
my predecessors, whose squires were
mounted
places I have taken my designation from
the Irish valet that I had, and of whom you
have heard me speak, of the name of Teague,
and have been called the Owner of the
red-headed Bog-trotter; as it is probable I
may now be designed occasionally by the
appellation of the Master of the raw Scotchman,
by those who may be able by your
dialect to dislinguish your origin. But all
these things I look upon as inconsiderable.
It is of little, or perhaps of no consequence
to me, what my stile is amongst men; provided
it contains nothing in it that may impeach
my moral character, and may seem
to have been drawn from some bad quality
or vicious habit of the intellect. They may
call me Don Quixotte, or Hudibras, or
the Knight of the Blue Beard, or the Long
Nose, or what they please. It is all the
fame to me; and gives no affront, unless
containing a reflection on my understanding
or integrity.
Captain, said Duncan, it canna be, but
ye ken right weel what I mean. It is na
the denomination o' your temporal capacity,
that I wad be at; but of your religion,
and to what perswasion ye belong; whether
er
the high kirk o' Scotland.
Duncan, said the Captain, I am not such
an adept in faith, as to be acquainted with
these nice distinctions. I have some knowledge
of the Christian religion in general,
but not of those more minute subdivisions of
which it is probable you speak. For I have
understood that Christianity is the national
religion in Scotland, and I presume what
you call Covenanters, and Seceders, are
sections from the general establishment, and
subordinate to the worship of the kingdom.
It has not come in my way, nor have I
much ambition to be more particularly acquainted.
There is a degree of information
on most subjects which it becomes a
gentleman to have; but the going beyond
this may favour of pednatry, and argue the
having spent more time in trifles, than
bespeaks strength of mind and elevated talents.
Just as we respect the naturalist who
amuses us with the philosophy of great objects;
but smile at him whose life is occupied
in catching butterflies, or gathering
petrified shell-fish. Or to give a simile that
conveys my meaning better; skill in language,
either to write or speak, is a noble
attainment; but this consists more in
a
in the criticisms of a mere grammarian,
which shew the mind to have been wholly
or chiefly taken up with these: To use the
words of the poet,
Commas and points they set exactly right,
And 'twere a fin, to rob them of their might.
The most liberal studies may be pursued
to an illiberal excess; as for instance in
music, where it must be considered as an
elegant accomplishment to have some talents;
yet not to have made such proficiency
in the execution, as to induce a suspicion
of attention to this art, to the neglect of
others. I have taken care to acquire a general
knowledge of the surface of this earth,
from the maps; yet have not made myself
master of the situation of every slough, or
bog that may be found in your country, or
exact bearing of hill or mountain there.
In the same manner, I may know that you
are Christians in that island, but nothing
more.
What, man! said Duncan, ha' ye never
heard o' the Solemn League and Covenanr.
I have heard, said the Captain, of
many Leagues and Covenants. In the time
of
was called the League. The family of
Guise was at the head of this, and opposed
to the Protestants. It is probably a branch
of this that has come over into Scotland,
and kept up the name, after having been
broken by that heroic Prince, and afterwards
taken away altogether, by his conversion
to the mother church, and peaceable
possession of the kingdom.
By that, ye wad make out the Covenanters
to be a relict of Popery, said Duncan.
I ken ye right weel, Captain; ye canna
be sae ignorant as not to know that the
Covenanters are the very reverse o' Popery.
Did ye never read Crookshanks? Did ye
never hear o' the persecution.
I have heard of the ten persecution under
the Roman Emperors, said the Captain.
Under ten Deevils, faid Duncan. I
am speaking o' the persecutions in Scotland;
when the ministers were hanged at
Ayr.
The Captain saw that his valet was beginning
to be warm on the score of religion;
and that it would be difficult to continue
the conversation in any shape without
giving him offence. He was therefore disposed
to address his pride, and please him
by
the same time proposing a readiness to be
instructed in the peculiar tenets of the
faith of the Covenanters.
Duncan, said he, you are under a mistake
as to the opportunities of education
in this country. It is not as in Scotland,
where the Christian religion has been planted
above a thousand years, and the reformed
church established a century or two;
where clergymen are numerous, and religious
books plenty. Ay, said Duncan,
where ye have preaching amaist every day
of the week, and twice on the Sabbath. Ye
canna set your face any way, but ye hae a
kirk before you. Catechizing o' the children
begins amaist as soon as they are
born; and examining the grown people,
in visits at the house; wie a strict discipline,
that calls to the session for things that scandalize
the morals. Ye sal find many guid
bukes there published by the Erskines,
and the Gillises. Did ye e'er read Peden's
Prophesies? I have read nothing of this
kind, said the Captain; for I was observing
to you, that in America we have not
these opportunities. For my own part, I
have lived a good deal in the rout of clerical
functionaries, where they have passed
and
and conversed with them; and
though they may have been distinguished
amongst themselves as orthodox or heterodox;
or under several names, or by various
particulars of doctrine; yet the differences
appeared to me so minute, that I never
thought it worth while to trace them;
and they made themselves acceptable to
me, less or more, by the greater harmony
of voice, or elegance of language, or
gesture; or by the justnses of their observations
on the obligations of morality amongst
men, and the good consequences
to society and to the individual.—Have ye
read Willison on the Catechism, or Halyburton,
or Boston's Fourfo d State, or
Durham on the Revelation? said Duncan.
Nothing of all these, said the Captain. Said
Duncan, I ha' got the Confession of Faith
in my wallet here; I wad lend it to you to
get a piece of it by heart, if ye wad promise
to take guid care o' the buke. My
memory is not good, said the Captain, especially
in that artificial exercise of it, which
consists in committing abstract ideas. What
touches my affections, I remember without
trouble, and sentiments which are obvious
and natural; and I should think the early
mind
some instructive fables, than in committing
these dogmas of divinity, that are untelligible
to any but theologists themselves; nay
not even by them incontrovertibly; for
otherwise how should they differ so much
in their illustrations of them. However, I
have no inclination to be led into a debate
with you, Duncan, on a subject where
you are so much my superior. But you
will excuse me in committing the Confession
of Faith to memory; at my age it
is painful to apply to a thing as to a task.
Duncan acknowledged the truth of this,
and was disposed to excuse him; but recommended
him to read the sermons of
the reverend John Dick, and Saunders
M`Alpin.CHAP
3. CHAP. III.
Having travelled this day without
any remarkable occurence, and puting
up at an inn in the evening, Duncan
had taken care of the horse, in having him
well rubbed down, and having seen his oats
given him, and the rack well filled with hay.
A gentlemen had also that evening put up
at the inn, and whose servant had been engaged
at the same time with Duncan, in
taking care of his respective master's horse.
This valet, whether from reading Thomas
Paine's Age of Reason, which had been
published about this time, or to the sceptical
conversation of some one in his way,
was far from being orthodox in his notions
of religion; or rather was sceptical with
regard to religion altogether; and had not
been accustomed to the strictest propriety
in the choice of his expressions; which became
apparent, in a short time, from his
use of suppletives that are common with
pro-
what they have asserted; or when prompted
by passion, they are carried beyond the
bounds of decorum, in imprecations on
themselves or the incidental cause of their
injury. Whether the horse had not maintained
a proper position in currying him,
or that the valet thought he did not, is uncertain;
but so it was, that in the course
of his labour he broke out into occasional
sallies of ill humour; or perhaps, from mere
habit, and without any cause at all, he began
to damn the soul of the beast. Duncan
could not avoid taking notice of it, and
reprimanding him for his profanity. The
other gave him no other thanks than to
damn his soul also; which language began
to raise the blood of Duncan; but he repressed
his resentment for the present, and
was silent until they both came to sit down
to supper in the kitchen of the public
house, the gentlemen above having already
supped; when Roderick, for that was the
name of the valet, began to eat, not having
first said grace. At this Duncan losing
all patience, broke out upon him. Sirrah,
said he, I could make an excuse for your
damning the soul o' your beast; because I
dinna believe he has a soul, and in that
cafe
making use o' a bad expression; but ha' ye
na mare decency, than to fall to your meat
without asking a blessing on what is set before
you; more than your horse i' the stable,
when he falls to his oats? what could
ye expect frae a dumb beast? but with ane
o' the shape o' a Christian creature, it favours
o' infidelity. Ha' ye na sense o' religion?
Did ye never see the Confession o'
Faith; or the Larger or Shorter Catechism?
Are ye na afraid, the devil will get
power o'er you, and make ye hang yoursel.
Hang the devil, said Roderick. I am
not afraid of the devil; I could kick him,
and cuff him, and play hell with him.
Guid deliver us! what blasphemy, said
Duncan; I am afraid young man, ye may
get a trial o't, you'l see then wha o' ye
will be uppermost. I'll lay my lug for it,
ye dinna stand him twa shakes, for a sae
stout as ye are. Ye had better seek the Lord,
and be out o' the reach o' Satan.
I never saw any greater devil than myself,
said Roderick; nor do I believe there
is any, I wish I saw this Satan of yours; I
would take a knock with him; I would
bite, and gouge him, and,—
This he said jumping to his feet, ſtretching
grinning at the same time.
Duncan could sustain it no longer, but
making his escape from the kitchen, ran
to the chamber where the Captain was with
the gentlemen, taking a glass after supper:
Exclaiming with great vehemence, he gave
them to understand that the muckle deel
himsel was in the house below stairs. I did
na just see his horns, and his cloven foot,
said he; but I ken him right weel by his
way o' talking, when he was i' the stable
wie the gentleman's horse, rubbing him
down, he cursed, and swear'd like a devil;
and when he came to sipper, he could
na bide the blessing, but when I spake o'
grace, he brake out into profane language;
and at last fairly acknowledged that he was
the deel himsel. Guid guide us, that we
should hae the devil among us! I wad na
be astonished if he has the kitchen aff in a
flame o' fire, before we gae to bed yet. I
hae Satan's invisible kingdom discovered
wi' me, in my bags. It gies great account
o' thesethings. The like happened at Drumalawrig
ance before; and the guid folk
had a great deal o' wark to get the muckle
thief out o' their sight again.
The Captain and gentleman were at a loss
to
only in general collect from it, that he
conceived himself to have seen the devil.
Where is this devil? said the Captain. Can
ye shew him to us, Duncan? I can soon
do that, said Duncan. I left him i' the
kitchen at his meat; but I trow he does na
eat muckle. It is a' a pretence, to pass for
one o' us. But gin ye sing a psalm, or
pronounce a verse o' the Bible, or gae about
prayer, I sall warrant ye sall soon see
him in his proper figure, wi' his horns and
his cloven foot girnning at ye, just as he
had come out o' hell about an hour ago.
Let us see him, Duncan, said the Captain,
and examine into these circumstances.
The Captain and the gentleman had
supposed that some wag, amongst the servants
of the public house, had been attempting
to amuse himself with the credulity
of Duncan, having discovered him to
be of a superstitious cast of mind; and that
with some kind of vizor to the face, and
uncouth dress to the person, he had assumed
a frightful form, and imposed upon him
the idea of a demon. Under this impression
they went forward, Duncan with fear
and trembling, lurking behind, and eyeing
ing
Entering the kitchen, Duncan started,
and exclaimed, The Lord deliver
us! there he is, eating at his meat, as if
he was a creature above ground, though
ye may all see that he has the physiognomy
of Belzebub. Of whom do you speak, said
the Captain? of that muckle chiel there,
said Duncan, i' the blue jacket, and the
lang breeks;—(it was a pair of overalls);—
that Satan-luking fallow, continued he,
wha puts the bread in his mouth, and sits
wi' his backside on a stool, as if he were
ane o' oursels; and had na been i' the
bottomless pit these twelve months. But
gin ye speak till him, I sall warrant ye
sal soon hear him talk the dialect of hell,
and curse and swear like a fiend, and girn
like the deel himsel; and shew his cloven
foot very soon, tak my word for't.
Why that is my servant, said the gentleman.
Ay, ay, said Duncan, I dinna doubt
that; he may hae passed himsel for your
servant. But that does na hinder him to
be the de'el. Dinna ye hear what the apostle
says, “he can transform himself into
an angel o' light.” It canna be a great
trouble then to take the shape o' a waiting
man,
If ye read Satan's invisible kingdom discovered,
which I hae in my portmantles,
ye sal find that the devil can make himself
a minister, and gae into the pulpit, and
conduct himself very weel, aye'till it comes
to the prayer, and then off he gaes thro'
the window, or takes the gavel o' the house
wie him. It happened once at Linlithgo,
that he tuke the shape o' a guid auld
man, the reverend doctor Bunnetin, and
undertook to preach the action sermon at
a sacrament; but gaed awa in a flight o'
fire, just as he came to gie out the text.
Ah, sirrah, said he, addressing himself to
Roderick, are ye there yet? ye think because
the folk here in America dinna ken
ye, no ha'ing Satan's invisible world discovered
among their printed bukes, that
for that reason, I wad na ken ye. I ken
ye weel enough, auld Reeky. Gae back,
to Scotland, and take the shape o' muckle
dogs there, whare there are guid foks
that dinna sear ye; and no come o'er the
burn till America, where the gospel is na
yet planted, and there is na need for ye.
What have you been doing to this man,
said the gentleman to Roderick, that he
has conceived you to be the devil.No.
Nothing more said the valet, than that
when we sat down to eat he insisted on
saying prayers first, and talked like a fool
about religion. I was hungry, and did
not like to wait for prayers. He talked
about the deel. I told him I was the devil
myself. He took me to be in earnest,
I suppose; that is all.
Aye, and ye are the deel, said Duncan.
Put out your foot here, and let us see if it
hae a cloven place i' the middle o't, or be
like a christian's foot; or try if ye can stand
till I say the Lord's prayer; though I wad
na wish to say it, as I dinna ken but ye wad
take the man's house wi' ye, and leave the
Captain, and this gentleman without a
chamber to gae to bed in. PshaDuncan, said
the Captain; how can such ideas come into
your brain? I see nothing, but the gentleman's
servant. It is the prejudice of your
education, to suppose that the devil can
take the shape of men, or tangible substance;
at least that he can eat food, and
converse with a human voice, You will
come by and bye to have a better sense of
things. In the mean time we must excuse
your revereis, as you are but a late emigrant.
This valet may be indiscreet, or
as you would say, profane, in his expreſſsions;
say this gentleman, whose waiting man
he is, does by no means approve. Nevertheless,
I cannot think he is Apolyon,
or Belzebub, or Satan, or the great
arch devil of the infernal regions I do
not even believe that he is one of your
inferior devils, that has assumed the shape
and function of a valet, and has sat down
here to eat his supper in the kitchen.
I am not one one of those, said the gentleman,
that approve of profane language,
or the undervaluing the religious ceremonies
of a conscientious, though weak
man; but it would appear to me that this
is but an affair of humour on the part of
my valet, who by the by is but hired with
me as a waiting man, and I have no controul
over him, farther than to dismiss him
for improper conduct. He is a merry fellow;
but I have always found him faithful,
and of good temper; so that I will venture
to say, that if Duncan, for that I understand
is the name of this North Briton, will take
supper, and go to bed with him, he will receive
no injury whatever.
I wad na take the whole town o' Perth,
to sit down wie him, said Duncan; nor a'
the kingdom of Scotland to sleep wie him
ae
to be i' the lake o' brimstane before the
morning.
I will be damn'd said Roderick, if I do
you any damage. I am no devil more than
yourself. It was to get quit of your long
prayers before victuals, that led me to talk
as I have done.
Do you hear him, said Duncan? would
any body but the deel, acknowledge himself
willing to be dam'd, or talk about it
in sae light a manner. He confirms by ae
breath, what he denies by the other. He
is the deel, as sure as ever Mitchel Scot
was in Scotland, or if he is na the deel;
he is as bad as the deel, and it gaes against the grain wi' me to hae ony communication
wi' him. Let him gae to hell for me
by himself. He sal not hae my company.
I wad na trust but that he wad hae an
hundred witches here about the house, before
the morning, and put every one o' us
on a broomstick to ride along wi' him, taking
the taps aff the trees, and dinging
floon houses, as he gaes along; the auld
woman turning themselves into cats, as
they like, or taking the shapes o' hares, or
swimming o'er rivers in their egg-shells.
The Captain finding that it was in vain
to
force of prejudice, changed his language,
and affected to suppose that the valet might
be the devil, and proposed to examine the
extremity of both limbs, to see whether he
had a cloven foot. The valet, summitting to
the jest, agreed to be examined. His
boots and stockings therefore being stripped
off, his feet were examined, and no sissure
appeared more than in a common
foot. Now, said the Captain, if he can
stand the recital of a prayer, will you not
acknowledge that he may be a human person.
Ay, if 'twere a minister, said Duncan;
but I dinna ken, if the prayer o' a layman,
can affect him much. But it does
na matter muckle, whether he is the devil
or not; he is amaist as bad as the devil,
as you may distinguish by his conversation,
and I dinna care to ha muckle more to do
wie him.
That is, devil or no devil, said the
Captain, you will neither eat nor sleep with
him.
Just the short and the lang o' it, said
Duncan. I will take a bit o' bread and
beef in my hand, and creep into some
nuke by mysel, if it should be i' the stable
with the horses, rather than wie this wicked
crea
resemblance o' him.
With this the Captain and the gentlemen,
left them to themselves, and returned
to the chamber.
4. CHAP. IV.
IN the morning it appeared that Duncan
had sat up the greater part of the
night, with a candle burning by him in
the kitchen, until near day-light; when
overcome with sleep he had reclined upon
a bench, until the gentleman and his valet
had departed, and the Captain had got
up, which was about an hour after sunrise.
Having breakfasted, which was about
9 o'clock, they set out upon their travels,
conversing as they went along upon
subjects that occurred. The first topic was
a comparison of Scotland with this country;
in what particulars each had the advantage
of the other. Duncan gave a decided
preference in all things to the trans-Atlantic
region; and found nothing on this
con
competition. I should presume, said
the Captain, we have more timber in this
country than in yours. You may have
more, but not half sae guid, said Duncan.
Our fir, is far better than the oak
that ye find here. I will allow you the
advantage in one particular, said the Captain;
you are more closely settled, and the
soil of course must be under a more general
cultivation. Aye, but that is nathing,
said Duncan; it is settled wi' a better
stock o' people; and we hae dukes and
lairds amang us; no as it is here, where
ye may gae a day's journey, and no hear
of a piper at a great house, or see a castle;
but a' the folks, and their habitations,
luking just for a' the warld like our
cotters in Scotland. But, said the Captain,
what do you think of the works of
nature here, the sun and moon for instance?
The sun is a very guid sun, said
Duncan; but he has o'er muckle heat in
the middle of the day. I wad like him
better if he wad draw in a little of it at
this season, and let it out i' the winter,
when we sal hae more need o' it. But as
to the moon, Duncan, said the Captain,
you have seen it since you came in; do
you
Scotland? I dinna ken, quoth Duncan,
but it is amaist as large; but it changes
far aftener, and it is no sae lang at the
full as it is in our kintry. But what think
you of the stars, Duncan; you have taken
notice of them, I presume, in this hemisphere.
The stars dinna differ muckle
frae the stars at hame, quoth Duncan;
save that there are not sae many o' them.
Wi' us, the firmament is a' clad wi' them,
like brass buttons; they light it up just
like candles. But here they luke blaite,
and hae a watery appearance in the night,
as if they had got the fever and ague o'
the climate, and were sickly, and had na
strength to put forth their fire. I tell
you, captain, there is nothing here equal
to what it is in Scotland. How could
you expect it; this is but a young kintra.
It will be a lang time before it comes
to sik perfection as wi' us; and I dinna
ken if it ever does.
How comes it to pass, Duncan, said the
Captain that the devil chuses the women
of your country, in preference to any other,
to make witches of? For it would
seem to be the case; as I have heard more
of
I can gie ye a good reason for that, said
Duncan. The deel kens weel enough
where to find out the best materials. The
English women are no worth making
witches of; they could do him little guid
when he had them. Ane Scotch witch is
worth a dozen English, or American.
They can loup farther, and sink a ship in
half the time.
The Captain having made this experiment
of the national partiality of Duncan,
was satisfied; and turned the conversation
to another subject.CHAP
5. CHAP. V.
I Shall not stop to record the minute incidents
that took place in the course of
this day's travel; or that of the two following
days; or relate the particulars of the
conversation of the Captain with Duncan,
or of Duncan with any other person. What
I have related, was chiefly with a view to
give some idea of the new valet's character
and manners.
I think it was the fourth day after leaving
the city, that the Captain casting up
his eyes at a place where there was a considerable
length of straightroad before him,
saw a person trudging on foot, who by his
make and gait, appeared to him to resemthe
new revenue officer, the quondam bog-trotter.
Duncan, said the Captain, if that
man was not on foot, that is before us, I
should take him for Teague O'Regan, the
waiting man that was in my service, and
who gave place to you; having obtained
a
an excise officer. But as I had equipped him
with a horse, it is not probable that he
could be without one already, and have
taken to his trotters, after being advanced
to be a limb of the government. It would
be a degradation to the dignity of office.
I dinna think, quoth Duncan, there is
muckle dignity in the office. What is he
but a gauger? that is of na more estimation
in our kintra than a hangman. There is na
ane that can live in an honest way without
it, will take the commission. Duncan, said
the Captain, it is not so in this country,
where the government is a republic; and
all taxes being laid by people, the collection
of every species is a sacred duty, and equally
honourable.
Honour! quoth Duncan. Do you talk
of honour in a gauger? If that be the way
of thinking in this kintra, I wish it were
back in Scotland. Every thing seems to
be orsa versa here; the wrang side uppermost.
I am but a simple waiting man to a
gentlemen like yoursel, and I wad na
take the office o' gauger upon me, for a'
Philadelphia, which is amaist as big as
Perth.
By this time they were within a small
dif
reconnoitering more perfectly, discovered
absolutely to be Teague. The revenue
officer, turning round, he recognized
the Captain, and accosted him: “By
my shoul, and there he is, his honour himself;
the Captain, and a new sharvant that
he has trotting on foot, as I myself used to
do.” And as you seem to do yet, Teague, said
the Captain. What is become of the horse
I furnished you? Has he been stolen, or
has he strayed away from some pasture in
the course of your progress? By my shoul,
said the officer, neither the one nor the
oder of dese happened; but I met wid a
good affer on de road, and I took it. I
swaped him for a watch dat I have in my
pocket here. Bless de sweet little shoul of
it: It tells de hour of de day, and what
time of de clock it is, slapeing or waking;
and in de night time you have but just to
look at the face of it, and de sweet pretty
figures dat are dare, and you will know how
long it is before the morning come. Not
like de dumb beast, that could not answer
you a word in the night nor in the day;
but hold his tongue like a shape, and say
nothing; while dis little watch, as de call
it, can speak like a Christian creature, and
keep
person. It was for dat reason dat I took
it from a country man dat I met wid last
night at the tavern; and am now going on
by myself, and have no horse to take care
of, and plague me on de road, and give
me falls over his tail, and over his mane,
up hill and down hill, so dat I almost broke
my neck, and thought it safest to ride upon
my foot. Dat is truth, master Captain.
But who is dis son of a whore dat you have
wid you trotting in my place? Does he take
good care of your creature at night, and
clean your boots. I would be after bidding
him smell dis cudgel here dat I walk wid,
if he neglect a good master, as your honour
is.
The blood of Duncan was up at the idea
of being cudgelled by an excise officer;
and stepping up to Teague he lifted a cudgel
on his part. “Ye cudgel me, sirrah!
said the Caledonian. If it was na for his
honour's presence, I wad lay this rung on
your hurdies; or gie ye a rap upon the
crown; to talk sik language to your betters.
I should make ye ken what it is to
raise the blood of a Scotchman. You ca'
yourself a revenue officer. But what is
that but a guager? which is the next to a
hang
stand by and see fair play, till I gie him his
paikes for his impertinence. My lug for
it, I sal make this rung rattle about the
bones o' his head to some tune.
With that Duncan was making his advance,
having raised his cudgel, and puting
himself in the attitude of a person accustomed
to the back sword; which Teague
on the other hand observing, accosted
him with softer words; not disposed to
risk an engagement with an unknown adversary.
Love your shoul, said he, if I was
after affronting you more than his honour
my master; burn me, if I don't love you,
just because you are my master's sharvant,
and takes care of his baste. I was only
jokeing. It is just the way I would spake
to my own dear cousin Dermot, if he were
here; for in Ireland we always spake backwards.
Put up your stick, dear honey, I
am sure the Captain knows that I was always
good-natured, and not given to quarrels;
though I could fight a good stick too
upon a pinch; but it never came into my
head to wrangle with my master's sharvant,
especially such a tight good looking fellow
as yourshelf, dat has a good shelalah in your
hand
by shaint Patrick.
Duncan, said the Captain, you have
heard the explanation of the hasty words
the revenue officer at first used; and it
would seem to me, that, consistently with
the reputation of courage, and good
breeding both, you ought to be satisfied.
I dinna ken, quoth Duncan; it was a
vera great provocation to talk o' cudgeling;
and it may be the custom o' a friendly
salutation in Ireland, but no in our kintra.
While I ha a drop o' the blood o' St.
Andrew in me, I wad na gae up to sik civilities.
Said the Captain, as far as I can have
understood, St. Patrick and St. Andrew
were cousins, and you his descendants or
disciples ought to be on terms of amity.
St. Andrew a cousin to St. Patrick!
said Duncan. I canna acknowledge that,
Captain. St. Andrew was a guid Protestant,
and a Covenanter, but St. Patrick
was a Papist, o' the kirk o' Rome; and
did na keep the second commandment, but
worshipped graven images, and pictures o'
saints; and tuke the sacrament wie a wafer.
I shall never gie up that, Captain,
that St. Patrick was o' kin to St. Andrew.
They
time; but there is a great difference in their
doctrine. Did ye e'er ready any o' the works
o' John Knox, Captain? Dinna ye ken,
that the church of Rome is the whore o'
Babylon? If ye had lived in the time o' the
persecution, ye wad na hae compared a
Scotch saint wie a Irish priest.
Said the Captain, I have no particular
acquaintance with the distinguishing renets
of the two Evangelists; nor do I know any
thing of them, save just to have understood
that the one had planted Christianity
in Scotland and the other in Ireland. But
this is not a point so material to us individually,
as that we cultivate peace, and
have no difference. I must therefore enjoin
it on you, Duncan, that you drop
your stick, and keep the peace towards the
revenue officer on the high way, that he
may not be delayed in going forward to enter
on the functions of his office. Said
Duncan, Since your honour says the word,
I shall lay down my stick; for I ken the
law better than to stand out against the civil
authority.
But Teague, said the Captain, how can
you distinguish the figures of your watch,
so as to tell the hours of the day; you that
do
said Teague, and I never tought of dat.
Will not the figures spake for demselves,
when I look at dem. I am sure, I saw the
son of a whore dat I got her from, look
at her, and tell the hour o' de day, like a
pracher at his books; and I am sure and
certain, dat such an ill-luking teef as he
was, could neither read nor write. But by
my shoul, if dat is de way, dat I have to
read de marks myself, I will swap her back
for a horse or a cow, on de road; or for
something else, dat will plase your honour
better; so dere is no harm done, plase
your honour, while we are in a christian
country, and can meet wad good paple to
spake to, and take a watch or a colt off
our hands, when we mane to part wid it,
plase your honour.
Such was the conversation at the first
interview of the Captain's family, to use
a military stile; and may be considered as
a sample of that which took place in the
sequel of this day's travel, as they proceeded
together until noon; when they
came to dine at a public house, and umbrage
was taken by Duncan, because the
Captain had permitted Teague to sit at table
with himself; which he did in respect
to
to support its dignity. Captain, said Duncan,
coming to the hall door, and looking
in, d'ye permit an excise officer to sit
at the table wie your honour. For sik
profanation I never heard o' in a' my
born days; if it were in Scotland, it
wad cause a sight to the whole neighbourhood.
Does your honour ken that he is
an excise officer? Duncan, said the Captain,
it is a principle of good citizenship,
especially in a republican government, to
pay respect to the laws, and maintain the
honour of its officers. It is for this reason,
that I make it a point to honour one who
was lately my bog-trotter; not that I discern
in him any remarkable improvement
in talents or manners; but simply because
the government has discovered something;
and has seen fit to give him a commission
in the revenue. Who knows but
it may be your own fortune, at no distant
day to obtain an office, and will you not
think it reasonable then, that it should be
forgotten that you were once in the capacity
of a waiting man; and that you should
receive the respect and the precedence due
to your new dignity? it is not with us as
in monarchies, where the advance is gradual
dual
individual through the favour of the
prince, or of the queen, or of a lady or
gentleman of the court, may have a sudden
promotion: but in a free state, what
hinders that the lowest of the people should
be taken up, and made magistrates, or put
into commissions in the revenue? I must
insist, Duncan, that you retire to the kitchen,
and take your dinner, and make
no disturbance in the house at this time;
you will come to understand better the
nature of offices in these commonwealths
in due time. Duncan retired; but in soliloquy
expressing his chagrin, at the strange
reversion of affairs in America, from what
they were in Scotland; and his mortification
at finding himself in the service of a
master, that could degrade himself by dining
with an excise officer.
Teague, on the other hand, though he
was silent in the hearing of Duncan, broke
out as soon as he had shut the door; Captain,
said he, plase your honour, where did
you pick up dat teef-luking son o'd a
whore, dat has no more manners, dan a
shape-stealer in Ireland; or a merchant
dat sells yarn at a fair. By saint Patrick,
if your honour had given me leave in de
road
his troat; and if your honour will excuse
de table, I will go out and take him by
de troat, and make him talk to himself
like a frog in de wet swamps; de son of
a whore, to spake to your honour wid a
brogue upon his tongue, in such words
as defe.
By the brogue, Teague meant the Scottish
dialect, which Duncan used.
Teague, said the Captain, the prejudices
of education must be tolerated, until
time and experience of the world, has
lessened or removed them. He is an honest
fellow, and I have more confidence in
him, than I ever had in you, though his
talents have not appeared equal; at least
if I am to judge from the estimate made
of you, by these who have a better right
to judge than I have. However, I am unwilling
to have any disturbance between
you, and therefore, must insist that you
leave him to the reprimands which I myself
have occasionally given him, and shall
continue to give him, until he attains a
better knowledge of the nature of things
in this new hemisphere, so different from
those to which he has been accustomed.
This put an end to any altercation between
tween
waiting man, for the remaining part of
that day, as they trudged together, until
they came to the inn at night, and having
supped, were about to go to bed. It was
what in some places is called an Ordinary;
that is, an indifferent tavern, of but
mean accommodations. The house was
small, and there was but two beds for the
reception of strangers; one of these so indifferent,
as to appear fit only for the servant
of a gentleman, who might happen to
travel the road, though large enough to
contain two, or three persons. What it
wanted in quality of neatness, and perhaps
cleanliness, was made up in dimensions.
This bed therefore seemed naturally to invite
the reception of two of the company.
Teague, said the Captain, when about
to go to bed, I think Duncan and you, being
the younger men, may pig in together
in that large bed, and leave the other to
me who am an older man, and am apt to
tumble and toss a little, from weariness in
my ride; and may perhaps disturb you in
your sleep.
Guid deliver me, said Duncan, frae
sik a profanation o' the name o' Ferguson,
as to sleep wi' an excise officer. I
am
guid family; and it shall never be said that
I came to America to disgrace my lineage,
by sik contact as that. Gae to bed wi' an
excise officer! I wad sooner gae to bed out
o' doors; or i' the stable amang the horses.
The revenue officer was affronted at
this; and gave way to his indignation.
The devil burn me, said he, if I will be
after slapeing wid you, you son of a whore,
you teef luking vagabon; wid de itch upon
your back; I am sure all your country
has de itch; and keep scratching and
scratching, as if de ware in hell, and could
get brimstone for noting; you son o'd a
whore.
The youke! said Duncan. Do you impeach
me wi' the youke?
You impatche yourself, said the revenue
officer. Did not I see you scratching
as you came along de road; and do you
tink, you teef, dat I with to get de leprosy,
or de scurvy, and have to sleep in a
bag o' brimstone two or tree weeks, before
I be fit to travel wid his honour the
Captain again?
The deel damn me, said Duncan, if I
can bear that.
What, swear, Duncan? said the Captain,
and have religious books in your
wallet, the Confession of Faith and the
Catechisms!
How can I help it, man, said Duncan.
The deel rive his saul, but I man be at
him.
Duncan had by this time seized his
walking staff, and put himself in an attitude
to attack his adversary, who on the
other hand had, instinctively, ensconced
himself behind the Captain, and opposed
him as a rampart to the fury of the Scot.
Duncan, said the Captain, you are in the
wrong on this occasion, you gave the asfront,
and ought to excuse the revenue officer
for what he has said, which, by the
bye, was not justifiable, on any other
ground but that of provocation. For national
reflections are at all times reprehensible.
But in order to compose this matter,
and that we may have no further disturbance,
I will take the large, though more
humble bed my self, and sleep with the
excise officer, for the reputation of the
government who has thought proper to
appoint him to this trust.
The deel take me if ye shall do that,
Captain, said Duncan; I wad rather take
the
disgraced; for it wad come a' to the same
thing in the end, that I had been the waiting
man o' ane that had been the bed fellow
o'a gauger. O! guid keep us, how that
would found in Scotland. What wad my
relation Willy Ferguson, that is professor
i' the high college o' E'nburgh, say to
that? But rather than your honour shou'd
take the stain upon you, I sal put up wie
it for a night; though if the landlady
has a pickle strae, and a blanket, I wad
rather lie by the fire side, than contaminate
mysel, beding wi' sik a bog-trotting
loon as he is, that wad gae into sik an
office for the sake o' filthy lucre, and to
make a living; when there are many honest
means to get a support other ways.
The landlady gave it to be understood
that she could furnish him with a bag of
straw and a blanket.
This adjusted the difficulty, and saved
the delicacy of the Scotchman, and embarrassment
of the Captain, in keeping peace
between the bog-trotters; as in reality they
both were, though the one had obtained
a commission, and the other remained a
private person.CHAP
6. CHAP. VI.
IN the course of the three following days,
during which the Captain and the two
bog trotters, journeyed together, a great
deal of ill will shewed itself between the
underſtrappers. By the bye, I ask pardon,
before I go farther, of the government,
for thus confounding the revenue
officer with the present waiting man; but
I aver, that it is not owing to any disrespect
of the government, though it may have
that appearance; but is to be resolved simply
into the force of habit which I acquired
in designating O'Regan in the early part
of this narrative, before he was advanced to
office; and since that, to the impression
made upon my mind, occasionally by his
conduct, which has not intirely corresponded
with the dignity of the commission.
When instances occur of this nature, I fall
involuntarily into the use of the former
epithet, which reflection, doubtless, would
teach
and if it should be attributed to any secret
grudge, or dislike of public measures, or
persons at the head of our affairs, it will
be a great injustice. But, as I was saying,
in the course of the following days,
much bickering took place between the
Hibernian and the Scotchman; or as I
might otherwise express myself, between
the son of St. Andrew, and St. Patrick.
The Scot thought the Hibernian defective
in grace and manners; both because
he did not ask a blessing to his food, and
because he took the liberty to eat with the
Captain, and to converse with him as on
equal terms. Indeed it was the only fault
he found with the Captain himself, that
he did not say grace to meat, and that he
admitted the gauger to this enjoyment of
equality. He did not enter fully into the
necessary policy of observing the forms of
respect to officers of government, merely
for the sake of the authority, and as a
compliment to the laws themselves. Nor
was his knowledge of the human mind,
and the modes of acting, sufficient to inform
him, that the saying grace at victuals
is a matter of form, more than of faith;
and that for this reason, some christian
fects
omit it altogether.
The Hibernian would sometimes beat
off, to use a nautical phrase, and disarm his
adversary by expressions of benevolence,
as “Love your shoul,” &c.; sometimes he
would prepare for battle, and be disposed
to defend himself; on which occasions it
behoved the Captain to interfere, and
break off the contest.
The Captain, at length, weary of this
trouble, thought of the expedient of dismissing
the revenue officer a day or two a
head, in order that he might be apart from
the other bog trotter. This being done,
with exhortation that he would go lorward
speedily, and open an office in the district,
the Captain propofed to remain a day at
the public house where he then was, in
order to give the revenue officer the advantage
of the start I have mentioned. In
the mean time, hearing of a cave in the
neighbourhood, which was thought to be
a great curiosity, he took the opportunity
of visiting it. The guide led them to it,
I mean the Captain and his waiting man,
in about an hour's walk from the public
house. It was on the bank of a small river;
the mouth of the cave opening to the
bank
cave, and fell into the river, with a fall
of a few feet over a rock, rendered smooth
by the current of the water. Above this,
was a shade of spreading beech, with thick
foliage, and beneath, towards the strand
of the river, was a gradual descent with
washed pebbles, and a clear filtrating sand.
Hard by the fall of this water, and on the
strand of the river, the attention of the
Captain was attached by certain rude
sculptures, observable on a flat rock; and
also by others on a perpendicular one,
that composed a part of the bank. There
was the figure of the tarapin, the bear, the
turkey, &c. It was a subject of reflection
with the Captain, whether these impressions
had been made by the animals themselves,
while the rock had been in a plastic state,
and before it had hardened from clay into
stone; or whether it was the work of the
savages, before the Europeans had possession
of the country. He lamented that he
had not a philosopher at hand, to determine
this. On the bank above, and toward
the mouth of the cave, were a number
of petrefactions to be found; the water
that ran here, appearing hence to have
a petrifying quality. The Captain considering
deri
how good a school this would have been
for Teague, had he been admitted a member
of the Philosophical Society, as had
been proposed at an early period.
The mouth of the cave, was of a height
and width to receive a man walking upright,
and without constraint on his entrance;
after a passage of a few yards, lined
with the solid rocks, it opened into an apartment
of about eighteen feet cube. The
oozing from above formed the stalactites,
and would probably in the course of a century
or two, fill up this chamber altogether,
unless by digging above, the course of
the water could be diverted from the roof,
and carried off by a conduit on a solid
part of the mountain. The floor of the
chamber had been raised by the pretrifaction
of the water; as appeared from the
inequality of surface, formed by the stalactites,
and from the testimony of the
guide, who remembered the time, not
more than fifteen years ago, when the descent
to this apartment, was a step of at
least a foot from the level of the entrance.
Passing on a few yards more, they descended
a step, and came to a second apratment,
of a greater extent, and of not less
Here was a vast bed of human skeletons
petrified, but distinguishable by their
forms. No doubt it had been a repository
of savage chiefs, whose bodies, converted
into stone by the virtue of this water,
were preserved more durably than the
mummies of Egypt. The dimensions of
some of the skeletons bespoke them giants;
that of one measured eight feet, wanting
an inch. Duncan, said the Captain, I
doubt much whether there have been larger
giants in Scotland. Aye have there, half
as large again, said Duncan; from the
stones that are put up in some castles, there
must have been men at least eighteen or
twenty feet in height. What can have become
of this breed? said the Captain. They
have fought wi' ane another, 'til they are
a' dead, said Duncan. This was the easiest
way of accounting for the loss.
There was an ascent of a step or two to
the next apartment, which was of an oval
form, the conjugate diameter of which
was about thirty feet, and the transverse
twenty five. There were the bows and arrows,
all petrified, that these warriors had
used in life. The water descended not in
drops, but through the fine pores of the
rock
of extreme cold, so as to endanger
life, and probably convert the human body
into stone in a very short space of time.
The guide thought it not advisable to remain
long, and Duncan was anxious to
return; the forms of the dead in the chamber
behind him leading him to apprehend,
that some of their shades might come after
them, to enquire the occasion of their visit.
Regaining the entrance of the cave, and
emerging into light, I mean the light of
day, for they had entered with torches,
they left the place, and returned to the
tavern.
The day following, they paid another visit
to the cave, and observed in the chamber
of bows and arrows, a pool of limpid
water, into which looking, they discovered
arrow heads, and hatchets of stone
innumerable. They took out, and brought
away some of them. These had no doubt
been first formed in wood, and then put
in this water to petrify, and become fit
for use. Thus we easily account for the
formation of such implements; whereas
the idea of being formed out of a stone,
in the first instance, by the dint of human
labour, and with no other instruments
than
This discovery, the Captain, I presume,
lost no time in communicating to the Philosophical
Society, as will in due time appear,
from a publication of their transactions.
Near the entrance, and on the right,
was the passage to what is called the petrified
grove. This, on their return they
entered, and in about thirty steps, found
themselves in a spacious square, which appeared
to have been once the surface of
the earth: For here was trees in their
natural position, with wasps nests on
them, all petrified; and buffaloes standing
under, in their proper form, but as
hard as adament. A bleak wind, with a
petrifying dew, had arrested them in life,
and fixed them to the spot; while the
mountain in a series of ages, had grown
over them. That which struck the Captain
most, was an Indian man reduced to
stone, with a bundle of peltry on his back.
If the virtuosi of Italy, could have access
to this vault, there would be danger of
them robbing it of some of these figures,
in order to compare with the statues that
have been made by hands. When this
cave shall have gained due celebrity, there
is
nature will be made. I submit therefore,
whether it would not be adviseable for the
connoisseurs of America, to apply to the
legislature of the state, where the cave is,
to prevent such exportation.
The Captain leaving this place, took nothing
with him but the skin of a wild cat,
which hung upon a stone peg in the side of
the grotto, and which he broke off, by
giving it a sudden jerk as he turned
round. Duncan took a petrified turtle,
which he thought resembled a highland
bonnet, and said he would scrape it out,
and send it for a curiosity to Perth.CHAP
7. CHAP. VII.
Containing Observations.
It may be observed, that as I advance in
my book, I make fewer chapters, by
way of commentary, and occupy myself
chiefly with the narrative. It is the characteristic
of old age, and may be decorous
towards the conclusion of the work. Nevertheless,
I shall arrest myself here a little,
to reflect on one particular of the discoveries
of the Captain; the sculpture on the
rocks, which appeared to be the labour of
the aborigness of this country. I have
not seen these sculptures, for I have not
had an opportunity of visting this cave;
but I have seen similiar sculptures, in abundance,
on the west of the Allegany
mountains. I recollect at an early period
to have heard it said, that Ferdinando Soto,
had been on the Ohio waters, and as high
as the mouth of the great Kenaway; and to
have
in a particular place near the mouth of
that river, the imperial eagle was to be
seen engraven on a rock; the eagle which
was the ensign of the Spanish monarchy,
under Charles V, also emperor of Germany,
and the successor of the Cæsars. It
was added, on the same ground, that the
vestiges of fortifications discoverable in
this country, were the remains of Spanish
works, and encamping grounds, under
Soto. I had understood, that the great
Franklin had adopted this hypothesis with
regard to these forts, from the sculpture
of the eagle. In the winter of the year
1787, I had the happiness to converse
with that sage, and amongst a number of
questions, which I had the curiosity, and
perhaps impertinence, to ask, I put this,
with regard to the Kenaway sculpture, and
the theory of the vestiges of forts in the
western country. I found his ideas to be
as I had been informed, and have stated.
I was then in Philadelphia.
In the fall of this year, having returned
to the western country, a surveyor who
had been engaged in surveying lands on
the Kenaway, being in my office on some
business, it occurred to me to interrogate
him
had seen the engraving, of what was
thought to be the eagle, but called it a
Turkey; which word no sooner strnck my
ear, than all the hypothesis of the holy
Roman eagle, and Ferdinando Soto, fell
to the ground. It is a turkey, thought I,
which the fancy of the virtuoso and antiquarian,
has converted into the king of
birds.
Conversing, with the surveyor, he gave
me an account more minutely of this, and
other figures cut upon the rock, viz. the
turkey with its wings spread, as if just alighting;
the deer with his branching
horns; and the savage himself, with a
large head and long limbs, rudely cut.
He added, that he had heard from a hunter
whom he well knew, that there was a
rock with similar engravings on Cheat river,
a small distance above where it falls
into the Monongahela; and promised to
bring this hunter to give me a description.
About a month afterwards, the surveyor
brought the hunter to me, who appeared
to have been observant, and to be intelligent.
He had seen the rocks near the
mouth of Cheat river. The following is
the memorandum that I took from him:
The
“The turkey appears to have alighted
at the lower part of the rock, and ran up
to the top. You see the track, which it
leaves; the stretched back, and the body
thrown forward, as between flying and
running. There is the figure of a man,
with a large head, and horns, and a thin
skeleton-like body. There are deer tracks
well cut. This rock stands on a bend of
the river; and the figures on the lower
end, which projects most, are defaced by
the water, which rises to this height in the
time of floods. There is a horse track.
This is the only thing that I think remarkable,
if it is a horse track; for, as I do not
know that there were any horses here, before
the European settlements, it would
argue that this engraving had been done
since, and by the natives who have come
from the Chesapeek, and had seen horses.
The settlement made by Captain Smith at
the mouth of James river, Virginia, was
I believe the earliest made, contiguous to
this country.”
This hunter gave me to understand, that
he had seen a rock, sculptured in like
manner on the Kenaway, about eighty
miles from its mouth; that is nearly in a
line
river.
Having been led into the way of enquiring
on this subject, I have found that these
engravings are very common throughout
the whole western country; that they are
discernible all along the Ohio, at low water
especially, when the horizontal rocks
are left bare; that they are found on the
margins of the smaller streams also.
I had heard of one of these on the Monongehela,
about forty miles above Pittsburgh,
and in the summer of 1793, crossing
the country near that place, I spent a
part of a day, in going out of my course
to observe it. The sculptures were of the
same kind, and answer the description before
given of those elsewhere. The figures
on this are, a bear rudely or rather
clumsily cut; a hawk flying with a snake
in its beak; the moon and the seven stars;
a racoon; a human arm, and human feet,
well done; a buck with branching horns;
the turkey; and a number others. I want
no other proof that these sculptures were
by the natives, than the form of the feet,
which are unquestionably Indian. The
narrowness, and smallness of the heel evinces
it. It might also be induced as a
pre
a sortification, such as has been mentioned,
just above on the hill. For it is reasonable
to suppose, that these works of
leisure and taste, were most likely to be
pursued in the neighbourhood of such
a work. But what has been at all times
conclusive to me, that these engravings
are the works of the natives, is, the circumstance
that no alphabetic mark of any
language, or Roman or Arabic numeral,
is found amongst any of these. For it is
well known, that it is a thing which would
occur to any European, who should amuse
himself in this manner, to impress the initials
at least of his name, and the digits of
the year. I had put this question to the
surveyor and hunter, of whom I have
made mention, with regard to letters and
numeral marks, and found that none had
been observed by them, on the rocks which
they had seen. On that ground, independent
of all others, I made the deduction
I have stated.
I consider these sculptures, as the sirst
rude esseys of the fine art of engraving;
and to have been the work of savages of
taste, distinguished from the common mass,
by a talent to imitate in wood or stone,
the
of receiving pleasure from such an
application of the mental powers. Whilst
a chief of genius, was waiting for the assembling
of other chiefs, to hold a council;
or while the warrior was waiting at
a certain point for others, that were to meet
him, he may have amused himself in this
manner; or it may have been the means
to cheat weariness, and solace the intellectual
faculty, when there was no counselling
in the nation, or wars to carry
on.
Happy savage, that could thus amuse
himself, and exercise his first preeminence
over animals we call Beasts. They can
hunt, and devour living things for food;
but where do you find a wolf, or a fishing
hawk, that has any idea of these abstract
pleasures, that feed the imagination? Why
is it that I am proud, and value myself amongst
my own species? It is because I
think I possess, in some degree, the distinguishing
characteristic of a man, a taste
for the fine arts: a taste and characteristic
too little valued in America, where a system
of finance, has introduced the love
of unequal wealth; destroyed the spirit
of common industry; and planted that of
lot
mass of the people gamblers; and under
the idea of speculation, sthrouded engrossing
and monopoly every where.
It would seem, that the sculptures of
which I speak, are the works of more ancient
savages, than these which have lately
occupied this country; these tribes not
being in the habit of making any such
themselves, and the figures evincing an
old date, being in most places, in some
degree essaced, by the water of the river,
or the rain washing the rocks, on which
they are engraven. They would seem to
have been a more improved race, who had
given way to barbarians of the north, who
had over run the country. It is generally
understood, by the tradition of the
present Indians, and the early French
writers, Charlevoix and others, that about
the beginning of the present century,
the Six Nations conquered this country,
and expelled the former owners; and the
word Ohio, is said to mean Bloody, and
was the name given it from the blood shed
upon its waters at that time.
The sortifications of which we speak,
must have also been works of defence, of
that or an earlier period. From the trees
grow
these, they must be some of them many
hundred years old.
It will strike the reflection, how was it
possible for the human mind to remain so
long in so low a stage of improvement, as
was the casfe with these, the aborigines of
this country. Perhaps the more puzzling
question would be, whence the spring that
could have sussicient energy to rouse from
it. I shall leave this to philosophy, thought,
and historical deduction. Enough has
been said at present.CHAP
8. CHAP. VIII.
ON the third day renewing their journey,
the conversation between the
Captain and his servant turned on the
character, and history of the present revenue
officer, the late Teague O'Regan.
The Captain gave Duncan a relation of
what had happened; in the case of the attempt
to draw him off to the Philosophical
Society, to induce him to preach, and even
to take a seat in the legislature of the United
States; that had it not been for a certain
Traddle, a weaver, whom they had been
fortunate enough to substitute for him,
the people would most undoubtedly have
elected Teague, and sent him to Congress.
Guid deliver us! said Duncan; do they
make Parliament men o' weavers i' this
kintra? In Scotland, it maun be a duke,
or a laird, that can hae a seat there.
This is a republic, Duncan, said the
cap
and exercised by the people.
And if he could be i' the Congress, why
did ye let him be a gauger? said Duncan.
This is all the prejudice of education,
Duncan, said the Captain. An appointment
in the revenue, under the executive
of the United States, ought not to have
disgrace attached to it in the popular opinion;
for it is a necessary, and ought to
be held a sacred, duty.
I dinna ken how it is, said Duncan;
but I see they hae every thing tail foremost
in this kintry, to what they hae in Scotland:
a gauger a gentleman; and weavers
in the legislature.
Just at this instant, was heard by the
way side, the jingling of a loom, in a
small cabbin with a window towards the
road. It struck Duncan to expostulate with
this weaver, and to know why it was that
he also did not attain a seat in some public
body. Advancing to the orifice,
as it might be called, he applied his
mouth, and bespoke him, as he sat upon
his loom, thus: Traddle, said he, giving
him the same name that the Captain had
given the other; why is it that ye sit here,
treading these twa stecks, and playing wi'
your
there is one o' your occupation, not far
off, that is now a member of the house o'
lords, or commons, in America; and is
gane to the Congress o' the United States?
canna ye get yoursel elected; or it is because
ye dinna offer, that ye are left behind
in this manner. Ye shud be striving
man, while guid posts are gaeing,
and no be sitting there wi' your backside
on a beam. Dinna your neibours gie ya
a vote. Ye shud get a chapin o' whiskey,
man, and drink 'till them, and gar
them vote, or, ye shoud gae out and talk
politics, and mak speeches.
Such was the address of Duncan, meaning
nothing more than to amuse himself,
with the idea of a manufacturer obtaining
a seat in the legislature, and making
laws instead of warping webs. But in
the mean time, the wife of the mechanic,
who had overheard the conversation, and
was incensed at an attempt to take her
husband from his business, seizing a pot
stick and running out, and turning the
corner of the house, laid a blow upon the
posteriors of the orator; accompanying
her force with reproachful words to this
effect:will
Will you never let the man alone, said
she, to mind his business, but be putting
these notions in his head. He has been
once constable, and twice member of assembly;
and what has he got by it, but to
leave his customers at home, complaining
of their work not done? It is but little
good that has been got of him these three
years, but going to elections, and meetings,
and talking politics; and after all, what does
he know of these matters? just about as
much as my brown cow. A set of lounging
louts, coming here and taking up his time
with idle nonsense of what laws should be
made, and urging him to be elected; and
William Rabb's wife waiting for her coverlet
this three months, and Andrew Nangle
for his shirt cloth. It is enough to put a
woman in a passion that has the temper
of a saint, to have her man's head turned
so from his own affairs, by idle vagabonds
that come the way in this manner.
At this, she made another effort, and
springing forward, was about to impress a
second blow; when Duncan retreating, and
listing up his stick in his turn accosted her
in these words: “Gin ye were a man, as
ye are a muckle witch, I shoud be for
taking ye wi' this rung across your hurdies.
it
man Traddle, to gae to the senate, and to
get a post i' the government, and no be
knotting threads here, wi' his shuttle, like
a tradesman o' Paisly? Ye vile carlin, ye
maun be a witch, or a warse body, to take
a stick in your hand, like a driver o' stots,
and come pelmel, upon a man ahint his
back, when he is na speaking till ye.
Foul fa' me, but if it were na a shame to
battle wi' ane o' your sex, I wad break
your back with a lunder, before ye knew
what ye were about. To keep this honest
man here, shut up like a prisoner under
ground, in a dungeon, drawing a reed
till him, instead o' throwing out his arms
like a Latin scholar, or a collegian, making
his oration to his hearers? Are ye chained
there, (turning his speech to Traddle,)
that ye stay sae contentedly yoursel, man,
and dinna break out, and escape srae the
fangs o' this witch.”
This witch! said she, (apprehending danger
from a second address to the weaver,)
this witch! I shall witch you to some
purpose, you vagabond. With this she
made a hasty step, and was nearly on the
back of the Caledonian, with her pot-stick,
having made a stroke at him, which be
eva
speedily. The Captain in the
mean time had rode on, and left them to
compleat their dialogue.
9. CHAP. IX.
Duncan had affected the wag on
the late occasion with the manufacturer
and his wife, and had like to have
suffered some alloy of pain from the blows
which were inflictted, or were meditated.
But at the public house, in a village, a
little way ahead this day, where they halted
about noon, a circumstance happened
which changed his view a little, and disposed
him to sadness, rather than to play
the wag with his neighbours on the road.
While the Captain had reclined, and was
asleep on a sofa, a constable had apprehended
Duncan with a warrant; commanding
this officer to take the prisoner
before a justice of the peace, by whom it
had been issued. Duncan had taken for
granted, that it was the weaver's wife who
had made complaint, and sent after him,
on account of the threats he had made to
chas-
him, had made a noise in the porch, and
awakened the Captain. Duncan, said he,
what is the matter? Lord deliver me, said
he, if I ken. They say I am a prisoner.
The baisiff here has ta'en me wi' a warrant.
It maun be that witch the weaver's wife,
that has made a complaint, just because I
was jesting a wee, about her husband gaeing
to the legislature; and she did na take it
weel, but amaist brake my back wi' her'
spurtle; and now she has ga'en awa and
sworn belike that I strak her; for this
is the way o' these witches, that they turn
states evidence, and swear for themselves against
honest people.
Duncan, said the Captain, this is what
comes of your meddling with politics. You
must undertake to say forsooth, who is
qualified to be a representative of the United
States; you must insist upon an industrious
mechanic to relinquish his occupation;
and this not from any opinion of
his fitness for such appointment, or any
principle of love for the public good; but
merely for your pastime, and in ridicule
of a republican government in this country.
For though there have been instances
of chusing weavers for the legislature,
and
burlesque of this? Have not the people a
right to make such a choice? yet because
these things are not common in Scotland,
it must be the subject of a laugh here.
Had you been serious, there could have
been no fault found; but the insult lies in
your making a jest of it, which was evident
from your manner, in turning aside from
the highway to address a weaver through
the windos of a cellar; and in an abrupt
manner, to introduce an expostulation
with him on the subject of election. No
wonder that the termagant his wife, who
did not relish the proposition, even in a
serious point of view, was offended, and
disposed to inflict blows; and, on the resistance
made on your part, and threats
probably thrown out, has applied to a justice
of the peace, and obtained a warrant
to commit you to the custody of the law.
What can they make o' it? said Duncan.
I do not know, said the Captain, what
offence it may be in law, but certainly it
was a great indecorum to amuse yourself,
not at the expence of a mechanic, but indirectly
at the whole body politic of the
union; not that I think it unbecoming to
send such as Traddle to deliberative aſſemblies;
blies;
because it is a thing not known in North-Britain,
where aristocratic principles prevail.
You might have meant this as pleasantry;
but it may be construed a reflection
upon a republican government,
and to destroy the rights of man, in the
first germ and principles of their existence.
They canna make high treason o't said
Duncan.
I do not know, said the Captain, what
a strict judge might make it, I should think
it could not be made a hanging matter.
However let us see the warrant, and enquire
what the justice of the peace has
made of it.
I shall not shew the warrant to any man,
said the constable, but to his worship, justice
Underchin, to whom I must carry the
prisoner immediately. So come along;
come along; the justice will shew you the
warrant.
There being no help for it, Duncan
was obliged to go along, the Captain accompanying
him. Being brought before
the justice, Ah, have ye nabbed him? said
his worship: I am glad ye have got him;
a great rascal.
There is no question, said the Captain,
step
stepping forward, and addressing the justice,
but the young man has acted with
considerable imprudence; but ignorance of
the world, and especially of the laws and
customs of America, has been the principal
cause of his intrusion. Though he has not been long in my service, yet I am disposed
to speak with some confidence of
his civility in general. But, may it please
your worship, in what shape have you
brought the charge. Is it an assault and
battery, or what?
I make it bastardy, said the justice; what
else would I make it?
Bastardy! said the Captain. It might
be fornication, or adultery; but how can
it be bastardy in so short a time? It cannot
be a rape, that your worship means. There
was no rape, or fornication, or adultery in
the case, I will engage that. And how
can there be bastardy? some very hot
words passed between him and the woman,
and strokes might have been given; but
there was certainly no disposition, as far
as I could see, to beget bastards; nor was
there time for it. They were not in such
a very loving humour, when I left them;
nor did he stay behind me above twenty
minutes on the road.The
The justice was a little swarthy man, of
a corpulent habit, seated in an elbow
chair, with pen, ink, and paper on a stand
by him. He threw himself back, as he
spoke; leaned his head alternately on the
right and left shoulder, and bridled his
lips, as the phrase is, discovering in the affectation
of his manner, great pride of office,
and apparent satisfaction in having
caught a criminal. Endeavouring to be
witty at the embarraslsment of the present
culprit, and the expressions of the Captain,
why Mr. said he, addressing himself, to
this last, though I do not know who you
are, that are so willing to assist me in the
examination of this vagrant, yet I will observe
to you, that I make no doubt that
some hot, or at least warm words, have
passed between them; and strokes as you
call it, might have been given; but as to
the time of twenty minutes, or a larger period,
it is of no consideration in the law;
provided the woman swears, as this one
has done, that she is with child by him.
Nor will his ignorance of the customs of America,
excuse him; we must commit
him, or bind him over, if he can find security,
to appear at the sessions, to take his
trial for the fornication.Wi'
Wi' bairn! said Duncan. She might
just as well have ta'en an oath, that I was
wi' bairn to her. Was na her man I raddle,
sitting on his loom looking at us a'
the time. O the false jade! I get her wi'
bairn! I wad get a witch wi' bairn as
soon.
It is extraordinary, said the Captain,
that she could be certain of her pregnancy
in so short a time?
So short a time! said the justice, do
you call six months a short time?
It is not six hours, said the Captain,
nor the half of it, since the fracas happened.
Guid guide us! said Duncan, who was
standing on the back ground, making his
soliloquy; Guid guide us, that I should come
to America, to be tri'd for getting a woman
wi' bairn. What will Mr. Dougal,
our minister think o' this? after ha'ing the
Confession of Faith wi' me, and sae mony
guid bukes. Standing on the stool, is
bad enough; but nathing to the way they
hae i' this kintra, o' taking a man wi' a
bum, and bringing him before a magistrate;
just the same thing as he ware a
sheep-stealer. O' the base jade, to swear
a bairn upon me; what will my ain folks
say
will be a stain upon a' my kin to the third
generation. It was the deel himself put it
in my head, to stand taking wi' a fool
weaver about his election. I wish I ware
in Perth again, and out o' a' this trouble.
Six hours! said the justice, answering
to the Captain. Is it not six months, Sampson,
referring to the constable, since this
pedlar left this settlement? Pedlar! said the
Captain; he never was a pedlar; nor is it
six months, since he left Scotland. He was
recommended to me by a gentleman whom
I knew very well, Mr. M`Donald, as a
lad just come over. So that it is impossible
he could have been here six months ago.
I am no sax months frae Perth, said
Duncan.
Is not your name, Ryburn, said the
justice, and are you not that Scotch pedlar,
that was in this settlement two or three
months? Can there be any mistake? referring
to the constable; is not this Niel Ryburn,
for whom the warrant calls? It is
the very man, said the constable. I knew
him by his dialect the moment I saw him
in the porch at the public house, talking
with the hostler. He has the same brogue
upon his tongue, and says Guid guide us,
just
he used to say also, By my fa'th, and by
my sa'l, more than he does at present. He
has become religious since, or pretends
to be so, in order to deceive your worsship.
But at that time, he had not much religion
about him, and had no guid bukes as he
calls them in his pocket; but could damn
his sa'l, and swear like a devil.
Niel Ryburn! said the Captain, that is
not the name of my valet. It is that of
Duncan Ferguson. But pray who is the
woman that he is said to have got with child?
The weaver's wife is the only one that he
has had a conversation with to my knowledge;
and as I said before, they were not
much in the way of making love when I
left them.
A weaver's wife! said the justice; no,
Mr. M`Radin, or whatever else they may
call you; it is no weaver's wife; it is Kate
Maybone, that has made oath against him.
He had carnal knowledge of her about six
months ago, when he was in this settlement
pedling, and got her with child.
I perceive said the Captain, we are all
at cross purposes, and under a mistake in
this business. This North Briton—
Stop, said the justice, if you are to give
your
your testimony, Mr. with the cocked hat,
speaking to the Captain; we shall take
it by yourself; and not let the pedlar hear
it, to enable him to frame his story to the
fame purpose.
Accordingly Duncan being withdrawn,
in the custody of the constable, the Captain
was examined, and related the particulars
on oath of all that he knew respecting
the prisoner; and now being ordered
to withdraw, the prisoner was called in and
interrogated.
His story was to the same effect with
that of the Captain, and would seem to
distinguish him from his countrymen named
in the warrant; but his Scottish dialect
founded the presumption of identity so
strongly, that it was difficult, if not impossible,
to get over it.
I see, said the justice, that they have
framed their stories by collusion. They are
a couple of ingenious rascals; though the
one of them, the pedlar, affects great simplicity;
and the other vouches for him
that he is ignorant. I believe I must commit
them both; the one for bastardy, and
the other for horse-stealing. For the circumstance
of having but one horse between
them, is extremely suspicious, and renders
it
one. The story which they tell, of having
come in company with a revenue officer,
whom they have sent a head on foot, is
absurd, especially when you add what the
one who is called Captain tells, of this officer
having been once his servant, or passed for
such, under the name of Teague O'Regan,
and bog-trotting as he calls it, in the
manner that this Duncan, which he pretends
is the name, does now; and yet even
then being likely to be taken from
him to preach, to go to Congress, and the
Lord knows what: It is impossible; it must
be a falsehood; and the probability is, that
this fellow, this Captain, is the head of a
gang of horse-thieves; and this Scotch pedlar,
and the Irish revenue officer, are Iriſh">Irish revenue officer, are under-strappers,
with him, in the trade.
Ths being signified to the Captain who
was now called in, he addressed the justice
to the following effect: Mr. Justice,
said he, what I have related to you upon
oath, however improbable it may appear,
is the fact; and as to your surmises of horse
stealing, they are groundless; and you
may commit, if you think proper; but you
shall answer for the consequences. It is
no small matter to deprive a citizen of his
li-
to the government, as not to obtain redress
against an ignoramus like you, who
disgrace the commission by your stupidity,
as many of the same office do. The utmost
of your power is to commit; but it
may come in my turn to impeach, for
your abuse of power. What proof, or
presumption have you, that I have stolen
horses? Is it that of having a servant on
foot, rather than having one mounted? If
I had stolen one horse, could I not as well
have stolen two? The presumption is the
reverse of what your worship states. As
to the North Briton, who is charged with
bastardy, by the name of Niel Ryburn,
with a certain Kate Maybone, where is
the woman? cannot she be brought face to
face with the man, and confronted? Let
her then say if this is Niel Ryburn; and
that this simple lad is the person who begot
a child with her, six or eight months
ago. I am persuaded he was on the east
of the Atlantic at that time, and if she could
become pregnant by him, she must have
been on that side also. Let this matter be
examined.
From the sedate and firm manner with
which the Captain had expressed himself,
the
having been mistaken, and was intimidated.
He was willing therefore to send for
the woman who had made the oath. Being
in the village, she was in a short time
brought before his worship, by the constable
who had been dispatched for that purpose.
Kate, said the magistrate, is not this
the Scotch pedler, the father of your child,
and against whom you have made oath?
The father of my child! said Kate; does
your worship think, I would let such a
servant looking son of a bitch as that, get
me with child? does your worship mean
to affront me, by having him taken up in
the place of the moving merchant, Mr.
Ryburn? no, no; he is not the father of
my child. I never saw the clumsy looking
dunce in my life before.
Duncan was well pleased to be relieved
from the charge of bastardy; but at the
same time a little hurt, at the undervaluing
of the witness. Young lady, said he, I wish
you muckle joy o' your big belly, but I
dinna envy the pedlar o' his guid luck o'
ha'eing you wi' bairn. If I was to stand
i' the stool, it should be for anither sort of
luking lassie; and no sik a brazen fac'd
ane as ye are.Kate
Kate was about to make reply; but the
justice not thinking it comported with the
dignity of office, to suffer an altercation in
his presence, and being chagrined at not
finding this to be the real culprit, released
the arrest, with ill humour, desiring Captain,
prisoner, Kate, and constable, to
be gone about their business.CHAP.
10. CHAP. X.
THE second day after this, in the afternoon
of the day, as the Captain
and his man Duncan were advancing on
their journey, they perceived a person a
head, coming towards them, with a long
slouching walk, as if in considerable haste,
and a stick in his hand. If that man had
not his face the wrong way, said the Captain,
I should take him for the revenue officer,
Teague O'Regan; he has a good
deal of his appearance, both in his person
and his gait. But he cannot have mistaken
his direction so much as to be coming
this way, instead of going to his district.
I dinna ken, said Duncan; these Irish
ay put the wrang end o' their speech foremost;
and why not put the wrang end o'
their course now and then.
As they were debating, the person approached,
and it was discovered to be Teague.
He
He had advanced to a pass of the mountain,
where he was met and opposed by
two men, of an athletic personal appearance,
who forbade him, at his peril, to
proceed farther. They were armed with
clubs, and presented a very choleric
countenance. The revenue officer had
thought it not advisable to encounter them,
being two to one, and proposed rather to
fall back, and join himself to the Captain
and the Scotchman, who might support
him in his march.
These two men were of the name of Valentine
and Orson; so called either from
the fierceness of their nature, or from
their superior strength, resembling the two
champions of that name, of whom we read
in books of romance. They had been
born and bred in these mountains.
Valentine had the advantage of some education
with a Welsh school-master, who
passed his native language upon the young
man for Latin; so that conceiving himself
to have acquired the rudiments of this tongue,
and therefore qualified to enter on
the study of some one of the learned professions,
he had deliberated whether he
should plead law, preach, or be a physician;
but happening one day to see a member
ber
behind him, carrying a portmanteau, he
had taken it into his head to be a member
himself, and had canvassed frequently for
that delegation; but had been disappointed;
one person and another coming forward,
and taking off the votes. He had
made up his mind for some time past to
make an experiment of personal force, to
intimidate competitors. For this purpose,
he had taken to his assistance another
young man of the name of Orson, whom
he found in the neighbourhood, and with
whom sallying out as a kind of squire, or
armour-bearer, he could knock down any
fellow that had the impudence to set up against
him in the district. Orson had not
actually been suckled by a bear, like his
name sake in romance; but he was a rough,
stout man, and well qualified to bear a part
in this mode of canvassing.
The rumour had prevailed by some
means, that Teague was coming forward
to stand a trial in that district; whether
propagated by some wag, who passed him
on the road, and was disposed to amuse
himself with the apprehensions of the two
rustics; or to some mistake on the parr of
tra-
in the neighbourhood.
The Captain, however, and the revenue
officer himself, had resolved their menace
into a dislike of the excise law, and a wish
to intimidate, or prevent by force, the opening
an inspection office in that district.
Under these impressions, advancing to
the pass, they were met by the young
men, who made a shew of battle; though
on their part, not a little disconcerted at
seeing Teague return with a reinforcement,
and with the advantage of cavalry.
The Captain placed himself in the center,
on horse-back, and a little in advance
of the two wings on foot, Duncan
and Teague. The North Briton, preserved
a composed manner, and shewed a
steady countenance. The Hibernian, on
the other hand, willing by an appearance
of great rage, and much valour, to supercede
the necessity of battle, or blood-shed,
stood with his right foot before the left,
flourishing his cudgel, and grinning like
an angry person, who was impatient for
the onset.
As is the manner of heroic men, the
Captain thought proper, before the commencement
of hostilities, to accost the adverſe
verse
not be in his power to remove, or at least
allay their prejudices against the obnoxious
law, and induce them to suffer the officer
to pass. Accordingly he addressed them
in the following words:
Gentlemen, said he, the law may be
exceptionable on general principles, or
locally unequal in its operation to you in
this district. Nevertheless, it is the law,
and has received the sanction of the public
voice, made known through the constitutional
organ, the representatives of the
people. It is the great principle of a republican
government, that the will of the
majority shall govern. The general will
has made this a law, and it behoves individual
minds to submit.
I wad na fleech and prig wi' them, said
Duncan, stepping forward, and flourishing
his cudgel. I wad na hae many words about
it. But just see at ance whether they
will dare to stap the high road. Gin they
persist, I can tak ane o' them, and ye and
Teague, can tak the ither, and my lug for
it, I sal gie the ane that fa's to my lot, a
weel payed skin, I warrant him. Sae dinna
ye tak up time fairlying about the matter;
but gae on, and try our rungs o'er
the
crack o'er the riggin o' the loons, in a
wie while.
Teague, in the mean time, was on the
back ground, endeavouring to look sour,
making wry mouths, and grinning occasionally:
all this with a view to support
the threats of the North Briton.
Duncan, said the Captain, for he had
not attended to Teague, put up your
cudgel. Policy oftentimes avails more
than force. The law in question may beodious,
and great allowance ought to be
made for the prejudices of the people. By
sost measures, and mild words, prejudices
may be overcome. These appear to
be but young men; and rashness is a concomitant
of early life. By expostulation
we may probably have the good fortune
to be able to pass on, without being
under the necessity to attempt battery, or
shed blood.
The two young men were not to be intimidated
by a shew of cudgels, or grinning,
and wry mouths; but still conceiving
that the object of the Captain was to
force an election in favour of his precusor,
the Hibernian, and not understanding
the scope of his harrangue, but ſupposing
sing
where the votes of the majority, that is,
the greater number of votes, constitutes
the representative, they were as much disposed
to use force as at first; and, advancing,
appeared ready to sustain the shock.
An affray must have ensued; for the
Captain having taken every possible measure
to avoid blows, was now resolute to
force the pass, even at the risk of battle.
But just at this instant, a grave man coming
from the village, who had known the
character, and had been frequently a witness
of the conduct of the young men, addressed
them: “Young men, said he,
will you be eternally running into errors
of this kind. Have you interrogated these
gentlemen, and understood from themselves
whether any of them are candidates,
and mean to disturb you by setting up for
Congress in this district? It is possibly the
humour of some wag coming up the road,
and knowing your disposition, that has
created the surmise.”
The fact was, that some wag who had
passed Teague on the road, and who had
known the apprehensions of Valentine, had
given rise to the report. For he thought to
amuse himself by it, knowing the extravagancies
gancies
the two young men. For the whole country,
not long before that time, had heard
in what manner they had mistaken individuals
for public candidates. On one occasion
they had fought with a mason and
his barrow-man, and abused them considerably.
On another occasion, they had
knocked down a potter with a bag of
earthen-ware, and broke several of his
vessels. For this reason, the grave man, of
whom I spoke, who had got a hint by
some means of what they were about,
had traced the young men, and coming
up at the critical moment, addressed them
as I have before said, exhorting them to
make enquiry first, whether their apprehensions
were well or ill founded; and not
to take it for granted that either of these
personages, were competitors for Congress,
before the fact had been ascertained,
and their pretensions considered by an
amicable expostulation.
Candidates for Congress! said the Captain;
what could have put that into the
young mens heads? is it true, this bog-trotter,
who is now an excise officer, was
on the point once of being a candidate,
or at least of being elected, a repreſentative
tive
that, though with some difficulty, he is
now in the executive department; and
has received an appointment to the collection
of the revenue of a district beyond
this, to which he is now on his way; and
is far from having any thoughts of an election
of any kind whatever.
The two young men, at this, were relieved
from their fears, and their minds
seemed dilated with unusual joy. Stepping
forward, they shook hands with Teague,
and invited him to drink with them; but
the Captain apologized, alledging the necessity
on the part of O'Regan, to press
forward as speedily as possible, and to be
on the spot where the functions of his duty
called him. This apology seeming to suffice,
they all three made obeisance to
the young men, and to the grave looking
man; and passed on.CHAP
11. CHAP. XI.
Containing Reflections.
It may be thought preposterous in these
young men to attempt force in the
matter of an election. That depends on
their possessing any other faculty by which
they could succeed. Have not all animals
recourse to these means of providing for
themselves, which nature has given them?
The squirrel climbs a tree, while the wolf
runs through the brake. The cat lies in
wait, and watches for her prey; while the
greyhound pursues with open mouth, and
seizes the hare or the fox.
Valentine would not seem to have possessed
the advantage of mental recommendations;
he could not have it in his power
to allure and persuade. Why not therefore
act by compulsion, and use force?
But why not make application of this force
upon the voters themselves, and knock
down either before or after an election,
all
their suffrages? It is probable that
experiment had been made of this, and
that it had been found ineffectual. What
then remained, but to repel the intrusion
of competitors. It was more convenient,
as there were fewer of these; at least it
rarely happens, that there are as many candidates
as voters. It seems more natural,
as beginning at the source, and repressing
the pretensions of the canvassing individuals,
who are usually the first movers
in the business. It is of the nature of a
summary proceeding, and avoids delay,
to break the head of a competitor, and
induce him by fear, if not by modesty, to
desist.
It may be queried, what respectability
in the capacity of legislators can such persons
have, after having been elected, without
the requisite information on state affairs,
or talent of eloquence, to make a figure
in a public body? That is no business
of mine. It belongs to these that set up for
such appointment, to consider this. It may
be said, however, that it is not necessary that
all should make a figure in the same way.
In the exhibition of a circus, you will be
as much diverted with the clown who
mounts
to tumble, falls on his backside, as with
the greatest activity shewn by the master.
In music, bass is useful; nay, may be
thought to be necessary, to mix with the
treble. An illetirate and ignorant member
of a deliberative assembly, forms an agreeable
contrast with the intelligent; just as in
gardening, we are pleased with a wild
copse after a parterre.
It may be thought a vesania, or species
of madness, to entertain such an inordinate
passion for the legislature. Not at
all; it was not a madness properly so
called, by which I mean, a physical derangement
of the intellect. The cause
was merely moral; and the derangement
only such as exists in all cases, where the
mind is not well regulated by education,
and where the passions are strong and intemperate.
This young man Valentine had
conceived, at an early period, the idea of
becoming a legislator; and as has been
said, from seeing some member of Congress
pass the road, with a servant and
portmanteau also; not at all comprehending
the necessity, or at least usefulness, of
a knowledge of the geography of the world
in commercial questions; or of history in
pol-
to run a foot race with a wood-ranger; to
lift a piece of timber at a house building,
or log-rolling; or to wrestle at Cornish-hug
with the young men of the village; and had
imagined that the same degree of strength
and dexterity, which had given him a superiority,
or at least made him respectable
in these, would raise him to reputation in
the efforts of the human mind.
Why need we wonder at an uneducated
young man judging so preposterously on
great subjects. It is not to be presumed that
he ever had an opportunity of reading Cudworth's
Intellectual System, or any other
writer on “the eternal fitness of things.” This
belongs to the schools; I mean the higher
academies, where metaphysics, and the
co-relate science of logic, is taught.
I am aware that malevolent persons, judging
from their feelings, will alledge that
in the caricature I have given of the mountain
candidate, I have had some prototype
in view, and hence intended a satire upon
individuals It will not be a fair deduction;
unless it is restrained simply to
this, that something like it has occurred in
the course of my observation, which has
given rise to my idea of the picture.Now
Now that I am upon the subject of elections
for deliberative assemblies, I will
make a few general observations, without
meaning to give offence to any one.
There are but two characters that can
be respectable as representatives of the
people. A plain man of good sense, whether
farmer, mechanic, or merchant; or
a man of education and literary talents.
The intermediate characters, who have
neither just natural reflection, nor the advantage
of reading, are unnatural, and can
derive no happiness to themselves from the
appointment; nor can they be of use to
the commonwealth.
But men err, not only judging falsely of
their capacity for a public trust, but in the
means of obtaining it. I have in view,
not only all indelicacy in the solicitation of
votes, but in the management that is too
often used on election days, in changing
tickets, obstructing windows, voting more
than once; a thing tolerable perhaps, or
at least excusable, in the election of a
sheriff, an office of profit; but which ought
to be considered indelicate in a competition
for honour. It is impossible for any law
to reach the cure of this evil; it can be remedied
only by attaching disgrace in public
opinion,
mean to represent as indelicate the candidates
offering to serve. For I would rather
be accused of forwardness to offer myself,
that of affectation to decline, when I was
willing to be elected. The one favours of
cowardice and falsehood; the other, at the
worst, can be called but vanity.
The wife and virtuous exercise of the
right of suffrage, is the first spring of happiness
in a republic. If this is touched
corruptly, or unskilfully, the movements of
the machine are throughout affected. Not
only judicious regulations by positive law
are necessary to secure this, but the system
of family and scholastick education ought
to contemplate it. An advice which no father
ought to fail to give to his son should
be to this effect. “Young man, you have
the good fortune to be born in a republic;
a felicity that has been enjoyed but by a
small portion of the race of man, in any
age of the world. In some ages it has been
enjoyed by none at all. It is a principle
of this government, that every man, has
a right to elect, and a right to be elected.
In the exercise of the first, the right to
elect, be taught my son, to preserve a
scrupulous and delicate honour: And as
at
equals, would restrain you from all fraud,
in obtaining a game at fives; so much more
now that your are a man, let it restrain you
from all unfairness in this the great game
of man. With regard to being elected,
your first consideration will be your talent.
Quid valeant humeri, quid ferre recusent.
At school, you would despise the boy
who would set himself forward, as an expert
swimmer or wrestler, who was deficient
in skill at these exercises. In order
to be respectable, put not yourself above
your strength. If you covet the honour
of a public trust, think of qualifying yourself
for it; and let the people think of chusing
you to discharge it; that is their business.
Lay in a stock of knowledge by
reading in early life. Your old age, by
these means will acquire dignity; and appointments
will readily follow. You will
be under no necessity of solliciting inordinately
the suffrage of men.”CHAP
12. CHAP. XII.
THE Captain and the two on foot,
journeyed from bence together,
without any material incident falling out,
or any thing to attract the attention; save
what arose from the sparring of the aroſe">arose from the sparring of the bog-troppers.
This took place on the ground
of irreligion in Teague, and disregard for
the covenants; but more especially on a
difference of opinion with regard to the
desert of their respective services, in the
late rencounter with the highway-men,
as they were disposed to call them; Teague
alledging that he had intimidated them
by grinning, and wry mouths; Duncan
claiming the credit by the display of his
cudgel. The Captain had a good deal of
trouble, in parrying a decision of their respective
pretensions; or adjusting them in
such a manner as to satisfy both. They
were likely sometimes to come to blows.
He was relieved, however, by the approach
of
which they now began to enter.
After some days peregrination through
it, having made choice of a central situation,
it was thought proper to open an inspection
office, which was done by hiring
a house, and writing over the door, Inspection
office of Survey, No. &c.
Suspicion had existed on the part of
the government, that opposition would be
made in this district to the opening an
office; or at least to the collection of the
revenue. These were founded not only in
reports of threats of that nature; but in
some instances of actual violence, clandestinely
committed on deputies. It was
for this reason, amongst others, that
the President had made choice of O'Regan,
a stout and resolute man, as he
thought him, with a shelalah in his hand,
who could repel occasional insults. So far
these suspicions appeared to be without
foundation; the officer having conspicuously
traversed the district, and opened an
office without molestation.
The Captain was now about to return
home, having seen the establishment of his
ward in an office under government. But
before he parted with him, he thought it
not
to the discharge of his duty in his present
appointment. With this view, drawing
him into a walk the second day, a small
distance from the village, he began his lecture
in the following words:
Teague, said he, for I am still in the
habit of giving you that appellation, not
having yet ascertained whether you are to
be stiled, your worship, your honour, or
your reverence; or at least not having yet
been accustomed to add these epithets;
Teague, I say, you are now advanced
to great dignity; a limb of the executive
of the union. It is true, your department
is ministerial. Nevertheless it requires
the wisdom of the head to conduct it. But
the integrity of the heart is the great
object to be regarded. Keep your
hands from bribes; and by a delicate impartiality
towards all, even from the suspicion
of taking them. I should regret
indeed after all the pains I have taken in
sitting you for an office, and contributing
to your appointment, to hear of an impeachment
against you, for a misdemeanor
in that office. By conducting yourself
with a scrupulous honour and pure
morality in your present trust, the way is
open
and there is no kind of doubt, but that in
due time it will be attainable. The President
of the United States, from whom
you have received your commission, is said
to have the virtue, or rather the excess of
one, never to abandon the person whom
he has once taken up; or at least to carry
his attachment to an extreme of reluctance
in that particular; whether owing to great
slowness in conceiving unfavourably of
any one; or to pride of mind, in an unwillingness
to have it thought that his
judgment could be fallible. You will
have an advantage here; but at the same
time there is an ultimate point in this, as
in all things, beyond which it is impossible
to preserve a man. Bear this in mind,
and be honest, attentive, and faithful in
your duty, and let it be said of you, that
you have shewn yourself a good citizen.
Just at this instant a noise was heard,
and, looking up, a crowd of people were
discovered at a considerable distance, advancing
towards them, but with acclamations
that began to be heard. They were
dragging a piece of timber of considerable
length, which appeared to be just hewn
from the woods; and was the natural stem
of
and the bark stripped off. At the same
time a couple of pack-horses were driven
along, which appeared to be loaded with
beds, and pillow cases.
The Captain was led to believe that
these were a number of the country people,
who having heard of the revenue officer
coming to his district, had come forward
to pay their respects to him, and
to receive him with that gratulation which
is common to honest but illiterate people,
in the first paroxysms of their transport.
Having understood that country to be
chiefly peopled with the descendants of the
Irish, or with Irish emigrants themselves,
he had supposed that hearing the new officer
was a countryman, they had been carried
forward, with such zeal to receive
him, with huzzaing and tumult. On this
occasion, he thought it not amiss to turn
the conversation; and to prepare the mind
and the manners of the deputy for this
scene, which being unusual, might disconcert
and embarrass him.
Teague, said he, it is not less difficult
to preserve equanimity in a prosperous situation,
than to sustain with fortitude a depression
of fortune. These people, I perceive,
ceive,
to express, with warmth, the honest,
but irregular sallies of their joy, on
your arrival amongst them. It was usual
in the provinces under the Roman republic,
when a Questor, of whom a favourable
impression had preceded, was about to
come amongst them. It is a pleasing, but
a transient felicity, and a wise man will
not count too much upon it. For popular
favour is unstable to a proverb. These
very people in the course of a twelve-month,
if you displease them, may shout
as loud at your degradation, and removal
from dignity. At the same time, this
ought not to lead you to be indifferent, or
at least to seem so, to their well-meant expressions
of favour at present; much less to
affect a contempt, or even a neglect of
them. A medium of ease and gracefulness
in receiving their advance, and answering
their address, whether it be a rustic orator
in an extempore harrangue, or some
scholar of the academy, or school-master,
they may have have prevailed upon to draw
up a speech, and read it to you. There is
no manner of doubt, but the President of
the United States, may have been a thousand
times embarrassed with the multitude
of
him; and it required no small patience
and fortitude to sustain them. Yet it has
been remarked, that he has received them
all with complacency; shewing himself
neither elevated with the praise, nor irritated
with the intrusion. And it is but
reasonable, and what a benevolent man
would indulge; for it is a happiness to
these creatures, to give themselves the opportunity
of being distinguished in this
manner.
Duncan who had heard a rumour in the
village of what was going forward, had in
the mean time come up, and understanding
from the last words of the Captain
what had been the drift of his conversation
with Teague, and discovering his mistake,
interrupted him at this place. Captain,
said he, ye need na be cowshuning him against
applause, and popularity, and the
turning o' the head, wi' praise, and guid
usage: for I doubt muckle if it comes to
that wi' him yet. I wad rather suspect that
these folks have na guid will towards him.
I dinna ken what they mean to do wi'
him, but if a body might guess frae the
bed ye see there on the poney's back, they
mean to toss him in a blanker. But if it
were
trailing after them, I wad suppose they
mean to make a hanging matter o' it, and
take his life a' the gether. There is na
doubt but they are coming in a mob, to
make a seizure o' the gauger, and the
talk o' the town is o' a punishment I dinna
understand, o' tarring and feathering. I
have heard o' the stocks, and the gallows,
and drowning like a witch, but I never
heard o' the like o' that in Scotland. I have
heard o' tarring the sheep, to keep them
frae the rot, but I never heard o' tarring
a human creature. May be they mean to
put it on his nose, to hinder him frae smelling
their whiskey. I see they got a keg o't
there in their rear, drawn upon a sled; at
least, I suppose it to be whisky they hae in
that keg, to take a dram, as they gae on
wi the frolic; unless it be the tar that they
talk of to put upon the officer.
This last conjecture was the true one.
For it was tar; and the stem of a tree
which they drew, was what is called a liberty
pole, which they were about to erect,
in order to dance round it, with hallooing,
and the whoop of exultation.
The calvacade now approaching, they
began
of the three as they stood together.
By de holy faders, said Teague, I see
de have deir looks upon me. De look as
wild as de White Boys, or de Hearts of
Oak in Ireland. By de holy apostles, dere
is no fighting wid pitch forks; we shall be
kilt, and murdered into de bargain.
Teague, said the Captain, recollect that
you are an officer of government, and it
becomes you to support its dignity, not
betraying unmanly fear, but sustaining
the violence even of a mob itself with fortitude.
Fait, and I had rader be no officer at
all, said Teague, if dis is de way de paple
get out o' dair senses in dis country.
Take de office yourshelf; the devil burn
me, but I shall be after laying it down, as
fast as I ever took it up, if dis is to come
of it; to be hooted at like a wild baste,
and shot, and hanged upon a tree, like a
squirrel, or a Pady from Cork, when de
foolish boys hang him upon the 17th of
March, with potatoes about his neck, to
make sun o' de Irish. I scorn to be choaked
before I am dead; de devil burn de
office for me, I'l have none of it. I can take
my Bible oath, and swear upon de holy
cross
and ifdere are any Irish boys, amongst
dem I would rather join wid dem. What is
de government with offices to a son o'd a
whore dat is choaked, and cannot spake to
his acquaintance in dis world. By de holy,
apostles, I am no officer; I just took it for,
a frolic as I was coming up de road, and;
you may be officer yourself, and good
luck wid de commission, Captain; I shall
have noting to do wid it.
At this instant the advancing croud;
raised a loud shout, crying, Liberty and
no excise, liberty and no excise; down with
all excise officers.
Teague began to tremble, and to sculk
behind the Captain. By de holy vater o'
de confession, said he, dey are like de favages,
dey have deir eyes upon me, I shall
be scalped; I shall be kilt and have de hair
off my head, like a wolf or a shape. God
love you, Captain, spake a good word to
dem, and tell dem a good story; or by de
Christian church, I shall be eat up like a
toad, or a wild baste in de forests.
The bog-trotter was right; for this moment,
they had got their eyes upon the
groupe; and began to distinguish him as
the officer of the revenue. An exact description
scrip-
and appearance; for these people
had their correspondents, even at the feat
of government; and travellers, moreover,
had recognised him, and given an account
of his physiognomy, and apparel.
There he is, there he is, was the language;
the rescally excise officer; we
shall soon take care of him. He is of the
name of O'Regan, is he? We shall O'Regan
him in a short time.
The devil burn me, if I am de excise
officer, said Teague. It is all a mistake
gentlemen. It is true I was offered the
commission; but the Captain here knows
dat I would not take it. It is dis Scotchman
that is the officer. By my shoul, you
may tar and feather him, and welcome.
No, said the Captain stepping forward,
no, gentlemen: for so I yet call you;
though the menaces which you express,
and the appearance of force which your
preparations exhibit, depart from the desert
of that appelation. Nevertheless, as
there is still a probability of arresting violence,
and reclaiming you from the error
of your meditated acts, I address you with
the epithet of gentlemen. You are not
mistaken in your designation of the officer
of
cundour, to avow himself; but would
meanly subject a fellow bog-trotter to the
odium and the risk; an act of which, after
all the pains that have been taken of
his education, to impress him with sentiments
of truth and honour, I am greatly
ashamed. No, Gentlemen, I am unwilling
to deceive you, or that the meditated injury
should fall on him, who if he has
not the honour of the office, ought not to
bear the occasional disadvantage: I am
ready to acknowledge and avow, nor shall
these wry faces, and contorsions of body,
which you observe in the red-headed man,
prevent me; that he is the bona fide, actual
excise officer. Nevertheless, gentlemen,
let me expostulate with you on his behalf.
Let me endeavour to save him from your
odium, not by falsehood, but by reason.
Is it not a principle of that republican government
which you have established, that
the will of the majority shall govern; and
has not the will of the majority of the United
States enacted this law? will—
By this time, they had sunk the but end
of the sapling in the hole dug for it, and
it stood erect with a flag displayed in the
air, and was called a Liberty Pole. The
beds
and were brought forward. A committee
had been appointed to conduct the operation.
It was while they were occupied in
doing this, that the Captain had without
interruption gone on in making his harangue.
But these things being now adjusted,
a principal person of the committee
came forward, just at the last words of the
Captain.
The will of the majority, said he; yes,
faith; the will of the majority shall govern.
It is right that it should be the
case. We know the excise officer very
well. Come lay hands upon him.
Guid folk, said Duncan, I am no the
gauger, it is true; nor am I a friend to
the excise law, though I came in company
wi' the officer; nevertheless I dinna
approve o' this, o' your dinging down the
government. For what is it but dinging
down the government to act against the
laws. Did ye never read i' the Bible, that
rebellion is warse than witchcraft? Did ye
never read o' how many lairds, and dukes,
were hanged in Scotland lang ago, for
rebellion? when the government comes to
take this up, ye sal all be made out rebels,
and hanged. Ye had better think what
ye
want to fight, and ony o' ye will turn out
wi' me, I shall take a turn wi' him; and
no just jump upon a man a' in ae lump,
like a parcel o' tinklers at a fair.
The committee had paid no attention to
this harangue; but had in the mean time
seized Teague, and conveyed him to a
cart, in which the keg of tar had been
placed. The operation had commenced
amidst the vociferation of the bog-trotter,
crossing himself, and preparing for
purgatory. They had stripped him of his
vestments, and pouring the tar upon his
naked body, emptied at the same time a
bed of feathers on his head, which adhering
to the viscous fluid, gave him the appearance
of a wild fowl of the forest. The cart being
driven off with the prisoner in this
state, a great part of the mob accompanied,
with the usual exclamation of “Liberty,
and no excise law. Down with all
excise officers.”CHAP
13. CHAP. XIII.
Containing Reflections.
It is time now to make some reflections,
were it not only for the sake of form;
just as the clergyman who divides his text
into several heads, and then adds, “we
shall conclude with an improvement of the
whole; or with a few practical observations,
or reflections.” In early life, when
long sermons tired me, the young mind
not capable of a long attention, I used
to look out for this peroratory part of
the discourse, with much anxiety; not
that I valued it more than any other, for
the intrinsic worth of it; but merely because
it was the last. It appeared to me
an unconscionable thing in a man to speak
too long, when it was left to himself
how long he should speak. Ah! if it
was known how many curses I have given
tedious speakers even in the pulpit itself,
in my time, I should be thought a very
wick-
that I am a tedious writer. Well; but
have not readers it in their power to lay
down the book when they think proper,
and begin again?
But as I was saying, it has become time
to make some reflections, of which it must
be acknowledged, I have been sparing
in this the latter part of my performance.
But upon what shall I reflect? The
vanity of things, doubtless. But in what
mode shall I present this vanity? In moralizing
on the disappointment of the Captain
and the revenue officer, with the waiting
man Duncan Ferguson, coming forward
to establish offices, and all at once
made prisoners, and treated as the meanest
culprits? or shall it be on the mistaken
patriotism of even good, though uninformed
men, opposing an obnoxious, and unequal
law, not by remonstrance, but by actual
force, and thereby sapping all principle,
or rather overthrowing all structure of a
republican government. No: these are
exhausted topics. I shall rather content
myself at present, with a differtation, on
that mode of disgrace, or punishment,
which was chosen in the case of the revenue
officer; tarring and feathering.I
I find no trace of this mode of punishment
amongst the ancients, I mean the
Greeks, Hebrews, and Romans. Having
had occasion lately to look over the
whole book of Deuteronomy, I have paid
attention to this particular, and have discovered
no vestige of it. Amongst the
Greeks, so far as my memory serves me,
there is nothing like it. I recollect well
the sanctions of criminal law amongst the
Romans. And what appears to me to come
nearst to this of tarring and feathering, is
the punishment of the sewing up the culprit
in a sack, with an ape, a serpent, and
a fox; and throwing him into a river, or
a balon of the sea, to drown, if he had escaped
death by his companions in the
mean time.
As to the origin of tarring and feathering,
I am at a loss to say. It would seem
to me, that it took its rise in the town
of Bofton, just before the commencement
of the American revolution. Unless,
indeed, it should be contended that
Nebuchadnezzar was tarred and feathered;
of which I am not persuaded; because tho'
it is said that “his nails had grown to eagles
claws,” and in that case presenting
the talons of a bird, which a tarred and
fea-
time it is added, he eat grass like an ox.
Now a turkey buzzard, or a bald eagle,
does not eat grass like an ox; nor do I
know that these sowls eat grass at all, at least
so obviously as to make the eating grass a
distinguishing characteristic of their nature.
I shall therefore give up the hypothesis of
Nebuchadnezzar being tarred and feathered.
It would appear to me to be what may
be called a revolutionary punishment, beyound
what in a settled state of the government
may be inflicted by the opprobrium of
opinion; and yet short of the coercion of
the laws. It was in this middle stare, that
it took it's rise with us; answering the
same end, but with a more mild operation,
than that of the lantern, at the commencement
of the revolution in France.
It took rise in the sea coast towns in America;
and I would suppose it to be owing
to some accidental conjunction of the seamen
and the citizens, devising a mode of
punishment for a person obnoxious. The
sailors naturally thought of tar, and the
women, who used to be assisting on these
occasions, thought of bolsters and pillowcases.
Let
Let it suffice that I have suggested the
question, and leave it to be settled by
some other person, at some future period.
14. CHAP. XIV.
WITH regard to Teague whom we
left in the hands of the unob, having
been carted about the village, until
the eyes of all were satiated with the spectacle,
he was dismissed, but ordered to depart
from what was called the survey, under
the penalty of being seized again, and
hanged on the liberty pole, to which they
pointed at the same time, and on which
there was a cross bar, which appeared to
render it convenient for that purpose.
The unfortunate officer was not slow to
take the hint, but as soon as he was out
of their hands, made his way to the wilderness.
There we shall leave him for the
present, and return to the Captain, whom
we left in the village, and who had been
employed during the occasion, reasoning
with
to divert them from the outrage, and afterwards
to convince them of the error
of it, and the danger of the consequences.
Instead of allaying their fervour,
and convincing their judgments, it
had begun to provoke, and irritate exceedingly;
and gave birth to surmises that
he was an accomplice of the excise officer,
which in a short time grew into a rumour,
that he meant to continue the inspection office,
and substitute the North Briton as a
deputy in the room of O'Regan, until his
return. Under this impression, assembling
next day, they proceeded to pull down
the inspection office altogether, and to enquire
for the Captain and his valet, that
they might tar and feather them also.
The Captain having had a hint of this,
and judging from the experiment he had
made, that it was in vain to oppose the violence
of the people, outrather to yield to it
for the present, thought proper to withdraw
from the village for a time, and take his
rout to wards the mountains, where he might
remain at some farm house, until a more
peaceable state of things should take place.
He had travelled the greater part of the
day, and towards evening when he began
to
he came to a narrow valley at the foot of
the mountain, with a small, but a clear
and rapid stream running through the valley,
which had the appearance in some
parts of a natural meadow, there being intervals
of grass plats of considerable extent,
with hazel copses, and groupes of
young trees. The tall timber on the
height above, formed an agreeable shade,
and ledges of stone, worn smooth by the
water in some places, making small but
perpendicular falls in the current of the
water. Dismounting, and delaying a little
in this spot, to let the horse take a mouthful
of the grass, and deliberating whether
if no habitation appeared, it might not be
agreeable enough to take a bed there on
the natural sward for the night; having a
small quantity of provisions in Duncan's
wallet, and a flask of whiskey, which they
haltily put up at setting out.
At this instant, an aged and venerable
looking man descended from the mountain,
with a slender and delicately formed
young lad accompanying him, having on his
shoulder the carcase of a racoon, which he
held by the hinder feet, and which probably
ably
taken in a trap, that afternoon.
The Captain thought with himself, that
he would have no great objection to have
an invitation from the old man and his son,
as he supposed him to be, to go home with
them, and lodge for the night; taking it
for granted from the appearance of understanding
in the countenance, that they
were of a grade of education above the
bulk of the people of that country. It so
happened, after explanation had taken
place, that he did receive an invitation,
and went home with them.
The residence was romantic, situate on
a small eminence on the north side of the
valley which running east and west, the
sun struck it with his first beams, and the
zephyrs, playing in the direct line of their
course, fanned it in the summer heats. A
small cascade at a little distance, with a sandy
bottom, afforded a delightful bathing
place; and the murmur of the falling water,
in the silence of the night, was favourable
to sleep.
It was a cabbin of an oblong figure,
perhaps twenty by twelve feet, consisting
of two apartments, the one small, and serving
as a kitchen, the other answering the
pur-
—The family consisted of the old man, the
young lad his son, and an attendant who
acted as cook, butler, and valet de chambre.
Duncan having rubbed and combed
the Captain's horse, and turned him loose
to eat, was stowed away in the kitchen,
while the racoon was barbecued for supper,
and the Captain with the host, and
his son, were pursuing the explanation of
what they respectively were; being yet in
a great degree unknown to each other.
It appeared that the old man was the
Marquis de Marnessie, who had been an
emigrant from France, a short time after
the commencement of the present revolution,
and had served some time in a corps
of 10,000 men, which had been formed of
the nobility, under the combined princes,
against the republic. Having been under
the necessity of abandoning his seats with
precipitation, he had been able to carry
with him, but a few thousand livres. These
had been reduced in supporting himself
and friends in the service, and he had
brought but a few hundred to America This
country he had been led to seek, disgusted
with the combined powers, when the stipulations
of the convention of Pilnitz, began
to
be, not so much to support the monarchy,
as to divide the country: chagrined also
with that neglect, and even contumely, experienced
from the German princes who
appeared to think with contempt of their
services, and to repose their confidence alone,
in their own forces, and discipline.
Coming to America, he had retired
from the sea coast, both to be out of the
way of the French democrats in the towns,
and in order to occupy a less expensive
residence. He had found this valley unappropriated
by the state, a warrant for an
hundred acres of which he obtained from
the land office, at the low rate of fifty
shillings; and having cleared a small spot,
had made a garden, and cultivated what
is called a patch of Indian corn, subsisting
and amusing himself and his family, chiefly
by trapping and hunting in the neighbouring
mountain; wishing to forget his
former feelings, and to live upon the earth
as regardless of its troubles as if buried under
it. His cabbin was neat and clean,
with flooring of split timber, and stools
made out of hewn logs. A few books,
and half a dozen small paintings, a fuzee,
and
of its walls.
Having supped on the barbecuedracoon,
they took bed upon the planks, each furnished
with a blanket, being the only matress,
or covering with which they were
provided.
A great deal of conversation had passed
in the course of the evening; and considerable
sympathy of mind had taken place
on the part of the Marquis towards the
Captain, considering him in the light of
an emigrant with himself, having been obliged
to abscond, from sans cullotte rage,
and popular servor, which though not of
the same height with that in France, yet
was of the same nature, and different only
in degree.
The invitation was given by the Marquis,
and accepted on the part of the Captain,
and to remain in that retirement for some
weeks, until matters were composed, and
it might be safe for him to take his way again
through the country, and return to
his dwelling. Duncan took care of the
horse, chopped wood, carried water, and
assised the French valet to barbecue racoons,
young bears, squirrels, pheasants,
partridges, and other game, that the
traps
and his son, accompanied by the Captain,
could procure. Much conversation passed
in the mean time, on the affairs of
France; sometimes sitting on a rock on
the side of the mountain, or under the
shade of an elm tree in the grassy valley; or
walking out to set a trap; at other times,
in an evening in the cabbin, when they had
returned from the labour or amusements
of the day. These conversations were
chiefly in the French language, which the
Captain spoke very well; but in relating
any particulars of that conversation, we
shall give it in English, to save the printer
the trouble of having it translated. And
we shall confine ourselves to a very few
particulars, meaning rather to hasten to
the action of the work, than to delay the
reader in an episode, longer than is absolutely
necessary to let some things be matured,
that are next to take place.CHAP
15. CHAP. XV.
IT was one of those temperate and pleasant
evenings which in this climate succeed
the autumnal equinox, that the Marquis
and the Captain walking out together,
the subject of the conversation happened
to be the right of the people of France
to overthrow the monarchy, and establish a
republic. The Captain had read the pamphlets
of Thomas Paine, entitled, “Rights
of Man,” and was a good deal disposed to
sabscribe to the elementary principles of
that work; a leading doctrine of which is,
that at no time can the pact or customs of
ancestors forestall or take away the right
of descendants to frame whatever kind of
government they think proper.
This must be understood, said the Marquis,
like most other general propositions,
with some limitation, or exceptions; or at
least some explanation, before the mind of
all, at least of mine, can acquiesce in the
de-
I am not a proper person to canvass this
subject, having been of that class of men,
who had all to lose, and nothing to gain, by
a revolution in the government of the country
where I lived. Nevertheless, if my
feelings do not deceive me, I ought not to
be considered as a person under great prejudices.
For it seems to me, that I am detached
from the world, and never more expecting
to be restored to my country, so as to
live in it with reputation, or even with safety,
I am like a person with all his senses awake,
and within a few seconds of death;
his vanity is asleep, his pride is gone; he
looks back upon his pursuits, and his hopes
with true philosophy, and makes a proper
estimate of all the acquisitions, and all the
enjoyments of life. Or rather, I may be
thought to resemble a disembodied spirit,
who no longer capable of enjoying the false
glories of life, is not liable to be seduced
by the appearance of them. The shades
of departed men in the elysian fields as imagined
by the ancients, and painted by the
poets, cannot be more abstracted from
former impressions, than I feel myself to
be, in this kind of elysian, and posthumous
valley. When I converse with you
who
return to it, I am in the situation of the
Grecian worthies defunct of life, when visited
by Ulysses. Achilles candidly acknowledged
to him, that he had rather
live as a hired labourer with a poor man,
who had little food, than to rule over all
the ghosts. I will in like manner declare,
that such is my predilection for my country,
and that ravishing delight which I
would take, in breathing my native air,
and feeing my native soil, looking at the
buildings which were accustomed to strike
my eyes in better days, that I would prefer
fishing along the streams for my precarious
and daily food, or digging the soil, and
procuring my subsistence with a peasant,
than to be the President of the United
States, deprived of the countenance of my
countrymen, and the view of that other
heavens, and that other earth. The contempt
that I may have entertained, or at
least the undervaluing insperable from my
situation, which I may have felt, for the
undignifyed with nobility amongst us, is
totally gone: I could lay myself down,
with the meanest plebian, and call him my
brother. Descent, title, and fortune,
have disappeared from the eyes, and I
fee
excellence, as a conversing and sociable
animal. Nevertheless, even in this
state of mind, I cannot wholly subscribe
to the analysis of Paine. Let us examine
his position.
The new born infant has a right to a
support from its ancestor, until it shall be
of years to provide for itself; but has it a
right to his estate after it shall have been
of a mature age? surely not a natural
right; nor a right sanctioned in all cases even
by the municipal law; for the ancestor
may alien, or devise away from the
heir. But if he claims as heir, or takes by
devise, is it not under the artificial establishment
of society, that he makes this
claim, or takes this gift? shall he not then
take this estate subject to that government
in the principle and form of it, under which
this estate was acquired, and by which it is
preserved to him? The civil relations that
exist from the aggregate to him, are a law,
as well as the relations that exist from individuals.
Suppose all minors of age at
one hour, and all ancestors just departed
at the same moment, there might be
some reason then in supposing that the
descendants were not bound by the former
er
introduce others; or the descendants
emigrating, and occupying a new soil,
are certainly at liberty to frame new structures:
But not while a single ancestor exists,
who has an interest in the old mansion
house, and is attached to the building,
however Gothic; because the ancestor had
this right before the minor was born, and
his birth could not take it away. I say,
then, contrary to the principle of Paine,
that our ancestors having established an hereditary
monarchy, it is not in the power
of the descendants to change it. They
may remove from under it, if they will,
but not pull the house down about our
heads.
The early feudalist, whose acquisitions,
and possession of them, depended on that
military subordination and tenure which
gave rise to the system, when he took his
place in it either as a chestain, or a vassal,
submitted to it; he had his voice in this
social compact; and shall his descendant be
allowed to unhinge the tenure, and change
the fabric which was not of his building?
shall he claim the advantages of that species
of government to which he has been introduced,
and not submit to the inequalities
qual-
by universal consent? shall even a majority
change it? No: because each individual
is, in the language of the law, a joint
tenant, and has a right, per my & per tant,
in the part, and in the whole. It can no
more take away the right an individual
has in the system of government, than the
right he has in his estate, held by a prior
law. Upon investigation, it will be found
a question more of power than of right;
just as in these woods, I take the racoons
and rabbits, not that I conceive mysself to
have any right to have come from the
banks of the Loire to make these depredations,
but that having come, I have the
skill to do it.
The Captain was led to smile at these last
words of the Marquis, as favouring of misanthropy,
equalizing the case of brute
animals with men. I can easily excuse,
said the Captain, this sally of your mind,
and must resolve it into the wounds your
feelings have received from the reverse of
your fortune, and the dreadful outrages
which have taken place, in the course of
the revolution, from the fury of the human
mind. Nor would I call in question wholly
the justness of your position, with regard
to
Nevertheless, it may admit of some
discussion in the generality, and be so
bounded as to leave some great cases out
of the rule. I grant you that the descendant,
on the principle of natural right, can
claim nothing more of the personal labour
of the ancestor, or of his estate, than support,
until he shall be of an age which gives
strength of mind and body to enable him
to provide for himself. But does he not
possess by his birth, a right to so much of
the soil as is necessary for his subsistence?
you will say he may emigrate. But suppose
all adjoining known lands already
peopled; he cannot emigrate without
committing injustice upon others. He
must therefore remain. How to preclude
him from all right to think, or act in affairs
of government, with a view to improve,
and to improve is to change, is restraining
the mind of man, in a particular
capable of the greatest extent, and upon
which depends, more than on all things
else, the perfection of our species. I
would put it upon this point; is it conducive
to an amelioration of the state of life,
and likely to produce a greater sum of happiness,
to innovate upon established forms,
or
that when we consider the throws and
convulsions with which a change in government
is usually attended, it ought not
to be lightly attempted; and nothing
but an extreme necessity for a reform can
justify it. It is almost as impossible, comparing
a physical with a moral difficulty,
to change a government from despotism to
liberty, without violence, as to dislodge a
promontory from its base, by any other
means, than mining and gunpowder.
Of that I am convinced, said the Marquis;
for there never was a people more
generally disposed to a degree of reform,
than the people of France, at the commencement
of the revolution. The writings
of philosophers had prevaded the
minds of the highest orders, and it had become
the passion of the times to lean towards
a certain extent of liberty. It had
become the wish of the good, and the humour
of the weak, to advance the condition
of the peasantry. As an instance of
this, I myself had written a book, entitled,
“Sur le bonheur de Campagne,” with the
express view of depicting the depressed situation
of the common people in the country,
that condition.
But a reform once begun, it was found
impossible to arrest it at a middle point.
It may be resolved into a thousand causes,
but the great cause was, the insatiable nature
of the human mind, that will not be
contented with what is moderate. For
though there were doubtless a considerable
portion of the nobility who were opposed
to any diminution of their power and pageantry;
yet, on the other hand, as great
an evil existed in the wish of extreme equality
in others; or rather, a wish to bring all
things to a perfect level, that from thence
they might begin to ascend themselves.
There began to be insincerity on the part
of the court, and licentiousness on the part
of the people; and finally a contest, lurid
and dreadful, like the column of dark clouds
edged with blue, and fraught with lightning.
A contest so terrible, that I have
thought myself happy in escaping from it,
even though I have been obliged to call
upon the rocks and the mountains to cover
me in this valley.
The above is a sample of those conversations
which took place, between the
Marquis and the Captain, during the space
of
this rural and obscure recess. In the
mean time, the Count, the son of the Marquis,
had been dispatched occasionally
through the settlement, and to the village
where the late outrage had been perpetrated,
in order to learn what had become of
the revenue officer, as also to ascertain
the slate of the public mind, and when it
might be safe for the Captain to shew himself
in public, and return by the main
road to his habitation.
Nothing had been heard of O'Regan,
but accounts the most unfavourable were
obtained of the disposition of the people.
The flame of opposition had spread generally,
and the whole country appeared to
be involved in a common burning. They
had demolished all inspection houses, far
and near; assembled in committees, and
framed resolves of the utmost violence.
The obnoxious were banished; and even
the lukewarm in the cause were threatened
with the destruction of their goods,
and injury to their persons. They had
begun to frame guillotines, and to talk
of taking off the heads of traitors to the
cause.
The Captain was not a little alarmed at
these
had seen the machine of the guillotine in
actual operation, was seized with a horrid
fear; and he almost imagined to himself
that he saw it moving of its own accord
towards him; and his reason told him, that
it was not all improbable but that it might
be brought to approach him very speedily,
as the same sans cullotte anarchy and violence
began to shew itself in these regions,
as had broke out in France.
16. CHAP.XVI.
IT may now be time to make some enquiry
after the unfortunate excise officer,
who had been treated in the manner
we have mentioned.
The evening the outrage had been committed
on him, he had run several miles,
naked as he was; if a man may be said to
be naked, that is invested with a layer of
viscous fluid, and the adhesion of birds
feathers to cover him; through much danger
ger
affected to his office: He had at length
gained the recesses of a forest, where he
thought himself safe for the night; until
near morning, when the barking of wolves
at no great distance, as he thought, led
him to apprehend the being devoured by
these animals, who might take him for an
object of their prey. To escape this, he
had thought it adviseable to climb a
spreading beech tree, and there remained
until after sun rise, when two hunters
coming along at that early hour, descried
him amongst the branches; and not without
much surprize and astonishment. At
first they took him for a bear; but seeing
the feathers, it was decided that he must
be of the fowl kind. Nevertheless his face
and form, which appeared to be human,
made him a monster in creation, or at
least a new species of animal, never before
known in these woods.
They at first hesitated whether to take
him down by a shot, or to pass on and
leave him unmolested. But at length it
was determined to pass on for the present,
as if they had not seen him, and to rouse
the settlement, to take him with dogs, and
the help of men. It would be a valuable
ti-
to the great towns for a show. It might
be a fortune to a man. This being resolved
on, one of the hunters was dispatched
to rouse the settlement, while his comrade
in the mean time, had taken his station on
an eminence at no great distance, to watch
the motions of the wild creature, and give
information of his change of situation.
The officer in much melancholy of mind
had descended from the beech, and was sitting
on the point of a rock, looking about
him like a bald eagle, when a couple of
stout fellows came suddenly behind him,
with the folds of ropes, and entrapped his
body, so that he could not move his arms,
which they took to be wings, but was as
tightly laced as a ship's yard arm, when
the sails are furled to prepare for a tempest.
A cage having been made and put into
the bed of a waggon, he was conveyed
to the capital, when the proprietors, after
having published an advertisement,
began to exhibit him as a curiosity, for the
sum of a quarter dollar to each grown person,
and an eighth of a dollar to the children
of families whose parents brought
them with them.In
In a short time, this uncommon creature,
as it was thought to be, became the
subject of general conversation; and the
Philosophical Society had heard of it.
Having called a special meeting, they dispatched
two members to ascertain and report
the nature of the animal, in a memoir
to be inserted in their transactions.
The two members accordingly requested
of the proprietors an opportunity of a leisurely
examination of the animal, and paid
them a quarter dollar each extraordinary,
for this indulgence. The proprietors were
disposed, as was natural, to assist with some
particulars of fiction, the singular qualities
of the animal they had in charge. They
related, that when they first saw it, in its
flying from the mountain, it was just alighting
on the tree top; that having taken
it, they had at first offered it boiled
and roasted flesh, but this it refused; but
that at length it had come to eat flesh both
roasted and sodden with considerable gout,
and sometimes even with rapacity. This
was false, by the bye, for they had tried
the officer with raw flesh at first, which he
had refused, and would eat only roasted
or boiled.
The proprietors informed, that when
first
mixed sound, between that of a wild cat
and heron; but that it had come to have
some imitation of the human voice, and
even articulation, and might from that
circumstance be probably a species of the
parrot.
The philosophers noted all this, and
doubtless made a proper use of the particulars,
in determining the genus of the
animal. For the last thing that a virtuoso
ought to question, is the truth of facts. It
is by taking facts as granted, that an hypothesis
is most easily established.
The transactions of the Society have not
been yet published. Nevertheless we have
been favoured with the report of the members
on this occasion, with leave to publish
it, having so immediate a relation to this
work. It is as follows:
“The animal of which an account is
now to be given, was asleep when we
made our visit; and the keepers were unwilling
to disturb him, having been kept
awake, they said, too much for some time
past, by the frequency of people coming
to see him. However, this circumstance
gave us an opportunity which we would
not otherwise have had, of observing him
while
his right shoulder, and his hinder legs,
drawn up to his belly, in the manner of
the dog, or bear. The drawing his breath,
and his snoring, is that of a man. He has
hair upon his head, with a mixture of feathers;
but upon his body there is nothing
but feathers, not in the manner of other
fowls, if fowl this may be called, smooth
and clean, but growing through a viscous
substance resembling tar, and intermixed
with it; in this particular differing from
the bird kind in general, who by means
of a spinal gland secrete an oily substance,
with which they besmear and dress their
feathers; for here the oily or viscous substance
is itself mixed with the feathers, and
oozing from the skin. Nor are the feathers
here, as in fowls in general, lying
all one way, but in various directions, as
if nature had given them to sprout out at
random. But what is most extraordinary,
the stems are frequently protruded, and
the downy part inserted in the skin.
Such were our observations while he lay
asleep.
After half an hour the keepers having
awaked him, he got up from his straw by
turning on his back, stretching out his
fore
raising himself on his rump, and then
by resting on one paw, rising with a slow
and easy motion, to his feet. It may seem
a catachresis in language to talk of the
face of a beast; nevertheless we shall use
this phrase, for though in great part covered
with feathers, and the same viscous
matter with the body, yet in shape it has
the appearance of a human face, full as
much or more, than the baboon, or others
of the ape species. It cannot be said
to laugh, but rather grin, though once or
twice in our presence, you would have
thought that it exhibited a dilatation of the
oscular muscles, as if attempting to laugh.
The eye is of a grey colour, and the
look wild, but steady, like that of a person
under an impression of amazement
and wonder. The neck, and whole form
of the body, and even the hinder legs,
have a strong resemblance of the human.
Were it not for the feathers, a person on a
superficial view might mistake the wings
for arms, being attached to the body by
a shoulder blade, and the claws resembling
the fingers of a Negro.
If this animal is to be referred to the
quadruped, or beast kind, it would most
natur-
or Wild Man of Africa: If with the
bird kind, we shall be totally at a loss to
assign the genus. For though it has a
head and face not unlike the ouzel, or
the grey owl, yet in the body it has no
resemblance. Nevertheless we should certainly
give it a place amongst fowls, were
it not that it has ribs instead of the lamina,
or side plates, which are peculiar to the
winged race alone: as also, because we
have reason to think it has an epiglottis,
from the articulation of its sounds, by
which it has come to imitate our speech,
with a pronunciation not unlike that
kind of brogue, which we remark in some
of the west country Irish. It appears to
want the ingluvies or craw; but has a gizzard,
and digests its food by the dissolving
power of the gastric juices.
All things considered, we incline to
think that it is an animal of a species wholly
new, and of a middle nature between
a bird and a beast; yet so widely differing
from a bat, as not to be classed with it.
This discovery leads to new and important
considerations. We do not undertake
to decide for the Society; but shall
venture to suggest some particulars.this
This animal would seem to form the link
between the brutal and the human species;
being nearer to it in some particulars
than the Ouran Outang itself; and
especially in the evident articulation of
certain sounds. Articulation was with
the ancients, the distinguishing characteristic
of the human kind. The poet Homer
has the epither frequently, Meropon,
Antbropon: articulate, speaking men. Yet
we find from this discovery, that articulation,
at least to some extent, is not peculiar
to man alone. This is an incidental
characteristic, given by the poet; but
the distinguishing marks has been given
with more subtilty of observation, by his
scholar Aristotle, whose definition is that
of Animal bipes implumis. A two legged,
unfeathered animal: For though it might
be contended with some plausibility, that
this animal has two legs; yet it is evidently
feathered; not indeed with the long
and strong plumage of the ostrich, but with
the down of a goose, or duck. This animal,
like man, has not a tail. Nevertheless
it has the os coccygis, or termination
of the spinal bone, longer than in man; as
was ascertained by one of us, who in the
interval of his sleeping, felt his rump. Not
that
in favour of the hypothesis of Monboddo,
that men had once tails; but that
in the scate of animals, there is a gradual
nearing of distance, from having long tails,
to the having no tail at all.
The most important enquiry comes
now to be investigated, namely, whether
this be an animal new to discovery, or
actually new to the world, and just lately
come into existence in the natural kingdom.
No account of it having been heretofore
given by any traveller in America,
either from the information of the natives,
or personal observation of their own,
founds a strong presumption that it is of
a novel breed of creatures; but that it is
prepared to preserve its species, with a female,
may be inferred, from the circumstance
of nature having furnished it with
testicles.
The idea of original production, involves
in it the late hypothesis of Macilhattan,
in his treatise, De Seminibus, that
nature has within herse f an aboriginal productive
power; so that as some animals
disappear from the earth, the Mammoth
for instance, others spring up, that were
never known before. Which hypothesis,
by
of animals, receives considerable countenance
from the ancient relations of the gorgon,
the hydra, &c. and the less remote allusions
to winged gryphins, orchs, &c. If this
should be found to be the fact, it may be
suggested whether it would be going too
far to say, that it might be in the compass
of human research, to discover the subtil
combination of causes and effects, necessary
to the production of life, and the formation
of a living creature; and that the
time might not be far distant, when ingenious
chymists might undertake and accomplish
the analysis of matter, and synthesis
of composition, so as to be able to
make animals, to those who should bespeak
them; as a workman would make
articles of furniture for a hall or assembly
room. This would save much expence,
in feeding, and providing them for food,
or for the purposes of labour, and burdens.
We have thought it sufficient to suggest this,
and propose it to the industry and ingenuity
of the learned in philosophic science.”
So far the memoir.
The society expressed their approbation
of it; and it was proposed to make a purchase
of this animal, for the purpose of
ex-
hall, and possibly of sending it to the societies
abroad, for their examination also.
This proposition was adopted, and the same
members appointed to drive a bargain with
the proprietors, for the subject of their
shew.
When the deputation came forward,
and began to traffic with the keepers, proposing
a purchase of the curiosity in their
possession, the revenue officer, in the
cage just by, raised what is called the Irish
howl, in a most pitiable manner; recollecting
what the Captain had told him,
on a former occasion, with regard to the
use to which they would apply him, when
they should have him in their power.
God love your shouls, my dear masters,
said he, that have taken me in the wild
woods. I care not sat you make o'd me,
a wild baste, or a turky buzzard; or a
fish o'd de varer, while I gat good mate
to ate, and clean straw to ly down upon;
but for the sake o'd de holy fathers, do
not sell me to defe filosophers, that will
cut me up as you would a dead cat, and
put my skin upon a pitchfork, just to plase
deir own fancies; rader let me stay where
I am, and shew me to de good paple, dat
gape
mouths, and luke foolish, but dont affer
to bite.
The philosophers assured him, that his
apprehensions were without foundation;
having not the least intention of diffecting,
at least until he died a natural death.
Doubtless, it might be an object, to ascertain
from the internal structure of his body,
to what genus or class of animals he
might belong: nevertheless, they were
persuaded, the society would content themselves,
with the observations drawn from
external structure, at least for some time.
On this turning round to the proprietors,
they resumed the conversation relative to
a purchase; the supposed animal continuing
to vociferate and roar horribly.
In the mean time, the affair of this
wild man, beast, bird, fish, or whatever
it was, began to make a noise in the town;
the people who had come to see it, being
divided in opinion; some believing it to
be a monster, or new animal in the creation;
others disposed to be of opinion,
and others confidently asserting, that it
was a real man.
Coming to the ear of the chief justice of
the slate, it occured to him, that if a man,
the
restraint upon the liberty of the subject;
and ought not to be permitted in a country
where the laws govern. Accordingly,
he had issued his writ of Habeas Corpus
to the keepers, commanding them forthwith
to bring before him, the animal in
their possession, and to assign the cause of
this detainer. The officer came forward
at the moment the keepers were about to
close the bargain with the philosophers,
and shewed his writ. They were obliged to
obey; and came forward with their charge
before the chief justice and associate judges,
in open court then sitting, alledging property
in themselves by caption, and employing
counsel to support this allegation.
The court having assigned counsel to
support the Habeas Corpus, the argument
began: Counsellor Patch first.
May it please your honours,
I take this to be an animal in which
there can be no property absolute or qualified,
being fera natara, or of an untamed
nature, such as a panther, or a
buffalo; of which it is laid down no larceny
can be committed, as not being the
the subject of property. 4 Black. 235;
referring for authorities to 1 Hal. P. C. 511.
Fost
Patch read the authorities.
Councellor Catch in reply: But by the
same authorities, it is laid down, that animals
fera natura, or wild, when reclaimed,
or confined, and may serve for
food, may be the subject of property, as
deer inclosed in a park, fish in a trunk,
or pheasants or partridges in a mew.
But is it conceded, that this animal can
serve for food? rejoined counsellor Patch.
The question to be considered in the
first place, interrupted the chief justice, is
whether this creature is of the brutal or
the human kind. Speak to that point.
Counsellor Scratch, as amicus curia observed,
that this being a question of fact,
was most properly determinable by a jury.
Counsellor Patch thought not, as the trial
by inspection in the case of infancy, which
was within the province of the court, was
analogous to this. The court were of opinion
with counsellor Scratch, and proposed
to the counsel for the thing in custody,
to bring a writ de Homine Replegiando,
or Replevin, for the body of a man,
as the proper writ to bring the case before
a jury; or that an issue might be made
upon the return to the Habeas Corpus, by
con-
It was agreed; property pleaded, the issue
made up, and the jury about to be impanelled.
Counsellor Patch under the principle of
an alien having a right to a jury de medietata
lingua, demanded, that the jury should
consist of one half beasts.
Curia advifari vult, and in the mean
time desired the counsel to search for precedents.
No instance was found of the
jury de medietata lingua, being carried
so far as this, and the motion was overruled.
The jury being now sworn, the counsel
for the keepers, offered the two members
of the Philosophical Society, who had examined
him, to establish his brutality;
this evidence was offered on the principle,
that it was peculiarly within the province
of their studies to ascertain a point of this
nature, and were therefore the proper witnesses;
as in a case within the custom of
merchants, individuals of this occupation
are usally called. According to the maxim
of the civil law, Unicuique, in arte sua,
perito credendum est.
Exception to this evidence, that they
were interested, having had an eye to the
pur-
for it.
The objection was overruled, as going
to the credibility, not the competency.
The witnesses were clear that this thing
was not of the human race, though as to
what class of brute animals it was to be referred,
they were not yet prepared to decide.
To the weight of this evidence counsellor
Catch opposed the evidence of nature
herself; the thing had a human voice and
speech, that of a west country Irishman;
no instance of which was to be found in any
natural historian that had ever written.
He would call upon the gentleman to produce
any authority to that effect.
Counsellor Patch, was not prepared with
an authority to prove, that beasts had been
found that could speak Irish; but that it
was no uncommon thing in early ages, and
in many countries, for beasts to speak
fome language; such as Latin, Greek;
for which he might refer the gentleman to
the AesopiFabulae, or those of
Phedrus;
nor was he without an authority at hand,
to prove that even in more modern times,
there were many beasts who could speak
Englis; this authority was that well known
book,
which he now produced, and from which
he read passages.
The court thought the authority in
point, and the evidence not to be got over,
and directed the jury to find accordingly;
which they did, in favour of the
keepers, and the Habeas Corpus, was dismissed,
and the thing remanded to custody.
The members after this, struck a bargain
the more easily with the keepers; as they
had been a good deal alarmed at the risk
they had run of having this property taken
from them. The Society after having retained
the curiosity a year or so, and ascertained
its structure and properties, proposed
sending it to some of the foreign societies,
who had expressed a with to have a
an occural examination of it also. The preference
was given to the societies of France;
and it was accordingly shipped in a brig
of Blair M`Clenachen, that was bound to
Nantz. At this place on coming ashore,
the cage, by rolling and tubling in it,
having worn off the tar and feathers from
his back-side, he was mistaken for a sans
culotte; and the mob rising, broke the
inclosure, and let him out. I have not
heard
the army and judiciary. When the troops
had attained the point of destination, and
the judicial examinations had been set on
foot with regard to the conduct of individuals,
it was always a principal question,
What do you know of Captain Farrago?
They had heard of his man Duncan, and
thinking that he must be acquainted with
the secrets of the Captain, orders were
given to apprehend him, under the idea of
a criminal.
The examinations were conducted with
great dispatch, many hands making light
work, there being a vast number of assistant
interrogators, and deposition-takers, in
the capacity of journeymen, and apprentices.
It was a good school for students of
the law, and young clerks who came out
on the expedition. It is true, they were
not very capable of taking the true sense of
what was stated in the testimony, nor very
careful to take down for and against;
but the giving them a habit of asking
questions, and spelling words, was of
more consequence to the public, than the
doing justice to people that had lived in a
remote corner of the commonwealth.
Duncan having been arrested, was put
un-
he came to his examination, he was asked
the following question, and made the following
answers: Are you aquainted with
John Farrago? I hae a short acquaintance
since I hae been in his service, about a
month or twa. Has he ever conversed with
you on the subject of politics? He wad na
converse wi' me, he kens I dinna understand
them. Do you not know him to be
an insurgent? Indeed I dinna ken ony sik
a thing. I believe he is no just vera right
in the head, but I dinna believe he tuk any
part in stirring up the insurrection. He
has gane about the kintra for some time
past, in an odd way, wi' ane Teague O'Regan,
an Irishman, that got to be a gauger,
and came out to this kintra, to set up
in the business, and made a' this broil;
and since he parted wi' him, he has employed
me in the like capacity, no much to
my profit, if I am pursued, and put in fear
o' my life, and to hide three weeks in a
glen for fear o' the mob, and now to be
hanged for hanged ha'ing been in the kintra; and
what is mare, to be made a witness against
the Captain, when I hae nathing to say
o' him. The deel tak me, gin I swear
a word to wrang my conscience. That is
the
say na mare about it, but gae to the examination
o' some other body, for U hae
told ye a' that I hae to say about it.
Duncan was dismissed, and the Captain
himself; and falling into the hands of an
assistant examiner of sense, his account
and explanation was understood, and he
acquitted from the suspicion of having
swerved from the duty of a good citizen.
Setting out after this with Duncan, he
returned to his home; having experienced
a number of incidents, and some danger
in his travels, sufficient for one ramble.
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