University of Virginia Library

LETTER XIV.

I HAVE received, and read again and
again, your friendly epistle. My reason and
judgment entirely coincide with your opinion;
but my fancy claims some share in the decision:
and I cannot yet tell which will preponderate.
This was the day fixed for deciding Mr. Boyer's
cause. My friends here gave me a long
differtation on his merits. Your letter, likewise,

had its weight, and I was candidly summing up
the pros and cons in the garden, whither I had
walked (Gen. Richman and lady having rode
out) when I was informed that he was waiting
in the parlor. I went immediately in (a good
symptom, you will say) and received him very
graciously. After the first compliments were
over, he seemed eager to improve the opportunity
to enter directly on the subject of his present
visit. It is needless for me to recite to you,
who have long been acquainted with the whole
process of courtship, the declarations, propositions,
protestations, intreaties, looks, words and
actions of a lover. They are, I believe, much
the same, in the whole sex, allowing for their
different dispositions, educations, and characters.
But you are impatient I know for the conclusion.
You have hastily perused the preceding
lines, and are straining your eye forward
to my part of the farce; for such it may prove
after all. Well then, not to play too long with
the curiosity, which I know to be excited, and
actuated by real friendship, I will relieve it. I
think you would have been pleased to have seen
my gravity, on this important occasion. With
all the candor and frankness which I was capable
of assuming, I thus answered his long harangue,
to which I had listened, without interrupting
him. Self knowledge, sir, that most
important of all sciences, I have yet to learn.
Such have been my situations in life, and the
natural volatility of my temper, that I have
looked but little into my own heart, in regard
to its future wishes and views. From a scene
of constraint and confinement, ill suited to my
years and inclination, I have just launched into
society. My heart beats high in expectation
of its fancied joys. My sanguine imagination
paints, in alluring colors, the charms of youth
and freedom, regulated by virtue and innocence.
Of these, I wish to partake. While I own myself
under obligations for the esteem which you
are pleased to profess for me, and in return, acknowledge,
that neither your person nor manners
are disagreeable to me, I recoil at the
thought of immediately forming a connection,
which must confine me to the duties of demostic
life, and make me dependent for happiness,
perhaps too, for subsistence, upon a class of
people, who will claim the right of scrutinising
every part of my conduct; and by censuring
those soibles, which I am conscious of not having
prudence to avoid, may render me completely
miserable. While, therefore, I receive
your visits, and cultivate towards you sentiments
of friendship and esteem, I would not have you
consider me as confined to your society, or obligated
to a future connection. Our short acquaintance
renders it impossible for me to decide
what the operations of my mind may hereafter
be. You must either quit the subject, or
leave me to the exercise of my free will, which
perhaps may coincide with your present wishes.
Madam, said he, far is the wish from me to restrain
your person or mind. In your breast I
will repose my cause. It shall be my study to
merit a return of affection; and I doubt not,
but generosity and honor will influence your
conduct towards me. I expect soon to settle
among a generous and enlightened people,
where I flatter myself I shall be exempt from
those difficulties, and embarrassments, to which
too many of my brethren are subject. The
local situation is agreeable, the society refined
and polished; and if, in addition, I may
obtain that felicity which you are formed to
bestow, in a family connection, I shall be happy
indeed.

He spoke with emphasis. The tear of sensibility
sparkled in his eye. I involuntarily gave
him my hand, which he pressed with ardor to
his lips. Then rising, he walked to the window
to conceal his emotion. I rang the bell
and ordered tea; during, and after which, we
shared that social converse, which is the true
zest of life, and which, I am persuaded, none
but virtuous minds can participate. General
Richman and lady returned with the shades
of the evening. The penetrating eye of
my cousin traced in our countenances the
progress of the cause, and the smile of approbation
animated hers. Mr. Boyer asked the favor
of my company to ride to morrow morning,
which was granted. He tarried to supper, and
took his leave. I retired immediately to my
chamber, to which I was followed by Mrs.

Richman. I related to her the conversation,
and the encouragement which I had given to Mr.
Boyer. She was pleased; but insisted that I
should own myself somewhat engaged to him.
This, I told her I should never do to any man,
before the indissoluble knot was tied. That, said
I, will be time enough to resign my freedom.
She replied that I had wrong ideas of freedom,
and matrimony; but she hoped that Mr. Boyer
would happily rectify them.

I have now, my dear friend, given you an
account of my present situation, and leave you
to judge for yourself concerning it. Write me
your opinion, and believe me ever yours.